Nicole Urban: Bringing Sexy Back

I understand that there was a flurry of activity last week when there was a blurb in the news "alerts" that Nicole Urban was "impressed" by Keith Urban's Playgirl spread. I laughed out loud at that image. Think about it, Nicole sitting in her40-watt sitting room with cigarette smoke billowing around her looking at an article that was published almost a decade ago. If you haven't seen the photos you aren't missing much; Keith with a guitar over the jewels, and with a black silk robe on. Frankly, I saw more when the out takes made it to the internet about four years ago. The article was about that stuff they think women want to hear but really doesn't say much. We learn that he was a member of the mile high club and he has had sex in a hammock. Wow. Keith has said at various times that he regretted it or felt it was something he wanted to do at the time. All in all it is an old story except for some reason it has come back. The question to answer is why?

First, they make it about Nicole, and it shouldn't be. At the time that this article was done Keith was with another woman. But like everything anymore about Keith Urban it’s always about Nicole. Second, and most importantly Keith Urban has had his sexy sucked right out of him by his association with the wife. The result of this makes him not so much of a big deal for those who crave that which is considered young and sexy.

Keith Urban used to be sexy. From 2002 to 2005 many women had their fantasies fulfilled by the sexy motorcycle riding blond guitar slinger from Australia. Of course this was an image. We knew little about him. He kept his private life private. Part of what attracted Nicole was the image of Keith Urban. Many say that is why she pursued him; because he was sexy. That died when they married. Look where he was before Nicole. He was in the sexiest man in the world issue of People. He was often voted Country Music’s sexiest man. After he married, it ended, and that shows in his record sales. Then add to that the nauseating discussion of his private life. Who cares about these two? What about the music? Then she dressed him like a clown. Yes, she dressed him. He looked like a little slug banker. And most of the worst outfits were worn at his events. His unique style worked for him but Nicole hasn't taken that away and that his hurt him.

So why the Playgirl story now? Because Keith Urban needs to be appealing to keep up with the youngsters who seem to be taking over. One of his tour mates is the biggest draw in the United States. Keith has to keep the people in the seats for his part of the show. If the first two singles are any indication, he is trying to appeal to the youth market. While Sweet Thing has hit number one it isn't considered a classic, nor nowhere near his best effort. Just a little ditty to get played on the radio. If Keith Urban wants to leave an impression, it’s not going to be about appealing to the kids nor dropping his pants. Perhaps if he puts an effort into writing good strong music all of this would be irrelevant. We hope the new CD will show the promise of his earlier efforts long before he ever met Nicole.

2008 Urban Myths Awards

Yes, dear readers, award season is upon us and for those of us here at UM who would like take a collective look back and see the damage the Kidman Urban union has taken in yet another year...sit back and enjoy…

Most Outrageous Moment

Kidman: Going to the premiere for the epic wearing a see through dress. Yes, she has done it before and it was noted and excused, but this time there was no explanation from Camp Kidman thus it was on purpose and meant to exploit. Except it backfired.

Keith: At another premiere for the epic Keith made a point of showing off his three (four?) inch heels. While we have seen Keith in lifts before, this was a bit too much; and add to that yet another ill-fitted suit and well, the man lost all his appeal.

Best Couple Moment

2008 Oscars - Keith and a "pregnant" Kidman arriving two minutes before the show starts, having an exchange right off the red carpet and later Kidman was seen smoking and drinking backstage. Earlier in the evening Keith was seen eating alone at an LA hotel. We love the happy couple at their best.

Runner up

2008 Australian Open - Kidman and Keith arrive during a match; they sit and proceed to upset people enjoying the match. They were so disrupting that Patrick McEnroe asked during the TV coverage if they were royalty or something. More telling about this appearance was Kidman got up and left and eventually her people went back to the seat to tell Keith they were done with the photo op and he should leave too. But the wrinkles on her forehead proved that she was off the Botox because she was pregnant. This turned out to be one her most popular photo shoots of the year.

Urban Myths Best Writer Award

Nicole Kidman for her journal from the set of the epic. We have never saw that much crap in one place since the last time the circus came to town with the elephants.

Favorite Gossip Site

We love Teddy (Awful Truth) and Entertainment Lawyer (Crazy Days & Nights), and Michael (Dlisted). But, our winner again this year is Elaine Lui of Lainey Gossip. She is witty, knowledgeable and still a fan. Lainey doesn't let anything stop her from getting to the scoop. We wish her more and more success.

Best Blog about Nicole Mary Kidman

Nicole Kidman's Forehead - we applaud Anna and her courage to continue! She has spunk!

Best Use of Paid Employee

The nameless Nanny (and supposedly non-existent one) who takes care of the baby. Whether or not she is the real baby mama, we can only speculate, but by seeing that little girl reaching for her to get away from Kidman; she must be doing something right.

Best Remembrance of Things Past

October 2008, when Keith Urban was sexy again. In New York City for the NFL preseason concert and Fashion Rocks. Keith Urban, all alone, and he took us back a few years when he could do no wrong.

Best Waste of Money

A ticket to the epic

Runner up

Kidman flying all over the world trying to get people to come to the epic.

Special Mention

Nashville is not a big city, but why do the Kidmans need to live in two homes? The big mansion and the farm; perhaps we will elaborate more on that in a later blog.

Best Special Effort

For keeping Kidman’s feet to the fire about the pap beat down and for knowing the truth and using discretion in what he will and won't tell - the fabulous and very hot Ted Casablanca - we love, love, love, that Ted won't let things die!

The Event that Overtook all Others this Year

The pregnancy, birth and exploitation of all things Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Kidman used this event to promote her movie, marriage and life. Kidman and her various size bumps; her workouts and sightings; the days before the "birth" where we had one stupid story after another including the chiggers attack story. And finally the pimping of the baby - be it a prearranged professional picture on Oprah or a casual stroll in Paris at just the right time. The baby is nothing more than a prop and will be used and discarded as such until she can join her brother and sister in freedom from Nicole. Kidman should be ashamed. But it’s Nicole, so consider the source.


Here we go well into 2009, and whatever this year will bring we want to thank all of you who take time out of your busy lives to join us here for all the fun and muck we deal with. Thank you to those of you who comment and email us. Thank you, too, to Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman for being the people that they are; without them this blog wouldn’t exist.

What was your favorite Mr. and Mrs. Urban moment?

A baaybee... Oh, No! Not Again!

Nicole Kidman went to Tokyo and showed off her belly again; posing with the hands over it. Are we surprised? After the Oscars where no one wanted to be with her including her husband, we got shots of the ‘oh so not in love’ couple spending their hard earned millions shopping in Santa Monica. Funny, does anyone care about that? Seems that many people want YOU to believe the ‘oh so in love’ couple is ‘OH SO IN LOVE’. Contrary to internet reports there are doubts they spent Valentine’s Day together. We have heard rumors that he arrived just before the end of the Oscars to sprint her inside the Vanity Fair party. And like January 2008, Keith not only doesn't look happy he doesn't look healthy. Wonder what could be making him so miserable? The headlines should read “Gestation Ruins Tour” because all indications are there that Mrs. Urban is acting pregnant again.

At the big party she refused to drink alcohol, I guess she has to be pregnant to actually drink. She wore a tight dress which she always uses to show of her anorexic bump, her “big tummy”, (aka baby bump). In Japan she is back to holding her stomach in a ‘look at me’ gesture. Wouldn't it be lovely for Nic to be pregnant again? Sure, yep, sure thing, it is.

Why now? Because everyone else is having more than one child, except Katie Holmes. Could that be part of it? Tom might not get more kids; Nicole may have a boy. So our questions right now are about why we should be looking into how? For those of you who believe that someone else had the little girl here is some more ammunition for you. Why did Nicole suddenly give her home in Oz to her sister? Why did they build a wall of dirt all around it? Was her sister in Nashville in December for something more than Christmas? Everything is adding up that something on that avenue may not be kosher. Back to why. Nicole has no career right now and she got a lot of press for being preggers. It's time, isn't it, for another child. Who cares that this may cause more problems for Keith? There will be that pull between family and career. Who cares that this CD and this tour are a make or break time for him? Who cares that while it may be believed that having the baby will make them more likable to country fans, it will do just the opposite and piss off the few fans Keith has left? Those fans who thought there might be a chance this will end and realize that he isn't man enough to get out of that disaster. Kidman could care less about anyone, anything other than herself. So let’s raise our glasses for a toast to Nicole, but she has already probably started drinking. Wonder if she is thinking of how to tie the motherhood role into her most successful role, victim. Don't put it past her; she already thinks we are all stupid.

Footnote: Both Kidman’s AND Keith’s publicist’s released statements on Friday denying the pregnancy rumor. Interesting…

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29432399/

BREAKING NEWS.... Sneak Peak at lyrics for Keith Urban's CD "Defying Gravity"

We cannot reveal our source, but we have some BIG NEWS here at Urban Myths...we found the lyrics to Track 9 of Keith's new CD Defying Gravity. You saw it here first!

Why's it Feel so Long
by Keith Urban

You found me when I was weak
I was totally pissed; high as a kite
You were tall, you looked like a freak
You gave me your number, I ran from sight.

But my lawyer said it made sense
The money was all that he saw
I was drunk with your power and fame
When I woke up, I saw your game.

And now here I am...four years into this mess
You look more like a man than a lady,
In that transparent dress
I went and signed those damn papers
Ansel said it would be alright
But I find myself in a quandry,
walking this rope...so tight.

It was supposed to be just for a year
But the yacht and the jet and the money
Drew me in, it keeps me here
It's so addictive, it ain't even funny
I said no to a kid...not a chance
But she got her way, inspite of me
An egg from her sister and now
I'm daddy to an innocent baby

Yeah...it's the biggest mistake I've made
Whhooooooohooooo
I wish I could smoke a bong
I'm sober and feeling so bad
Why's it feel so long....
Why's it feel so long ... yeah baby
Why's it feel so long ... yeah mama
Why sweet baby are you such a mean bitch?
Why are you the wicked witch?
Why am I such a moron?
Why's it feel so long!

(Massive heart felt guitar solo)

A good cause for anyone else is just free PR for Mrs. Urban

Nicole is listed as one of the co-chairs for "THE" Oscar party. That is the Elton John AIDS party held after the Oscars on February 22. Add this to her recent plea for victims of the fires in the homeland and you can see how much Nicole cares. You can, can't you? Can't you? Good! Because like everything she does it has little to do with the charity and more about Nicole Urban doing the charity work. I see you critics are already getting your keyboards set to tell Urban Myths that we are wrong. We are misjudging Nicole; that she cares. And, yes the amount that she and Keith gave, while paltry, was tied up in other issues like taxes and people on the payroll. Save it. Nicole only does what will keep her in the press and right now with her film career in the toilet, her marriage not being all that exciting to the press, and her late in life motherhood being a yawn, Nicole is reinventing herself as do-gooder.

Now there are many Hollywood people who do good work. Sir Elton, Angelina, Mrs. Urban's former lovers Crowe and Clooney. But for someone who has been in the business for this long to not be associated with some cause makes all of us suspect. Why do good works all of a sudden? Before you start in about her work with the Children's Hospital in Sydney and the UN work, let’s just remember that she only uses those for her own self promotion. Generally when she has a product to sell we hear about either.

Why now? Could it be her husband rubbing off on her? Even when not as wealthy as he is today, Keith Urban has worked or donated time or materials to causes - Farm Aid, St. Jude’s, Katrina charities, cancer charities and Musicares. Long before the rest of the world knew him, Keith Urban gave back. So did Nicole pick this up from him? Probably not. Nicole does not consider Keith in anything she does. Even in the wildfire plea if you watch the video with the sound turned off and only watch Keith you can see when she says the amount that is being donated his face turns white and he is shocked. Because drop-out farm boy that he is, even Keith Urban knows you don't announce the amount that you are giving. How stupid was that because Nicole, while being praised, is also being criticized for the small amount it was. Seems that if you are going to do good you simply do it and keep your mouth shut. But Mrs. Urban got the press didn't she? Nicole will also be at the Oscars and less of a joke than what she should be. It seems that she is playing a new game now.

Did you find it interesting that when push comes to shove Nicole will never go directly against her one true love? It seems that with both her current husband and her one true love in the same place at the same time Mrs. Urban could have had a field day. But she stayed in a hotel with her infant daughter. Why? Perhaps it had nothing to do with the two men who supposedly shared her bed but more to do with the young man who spent time with both of those men. Was Nicole staying in the background because of Connor? I would place my bet on that.

Aren't the Grammy's all about the music? Not in Nicole Kidman's World...

We have had a week to digest the Grammy awards. So much to talk about and what is there to say? Basically Nicole Urban used the event as a way to garner her own PR. Music? Was that part of the evening? Not for Nicole. It was about being seen by a camera and hopefully making the tabloids later in the week - which she did to her husband’s detriment. We will get back to Mrs. Urban in a few minutes but let’s talk about something far more pleasant, Keith.

He was actually very good. Yes, he had some mike problems during the hastily put together Al Green segment. He played very well. Keith is looking quite good these days, too. I think he was allowed to dress himself and the silk suit without vest or tie led us all to think of the glorious past when Keith used to be able to go to the Grammy’s and not worry about the wife appendage. Yes, he often had a date at the awards shows but they usually sat down the row from him and the show was about the music and not the camera. Also, let's note Mr. Urban's very thin appearance. Seems he must be on some special diet since the holidays. Most of all for Keith, Sunday was all about the music. As much as some of us would like to kick his ass or put him down it was an honor for him to be asked to participate in the Al Green number. They could have asked John Mayer couldn't they? As for his performance with the guitar legends? A little too short but considering it was part of a memorial you can't really argue can you? The most important thing this did for Keith was to re-expose him to his peers. He hasn't been at the Grammy’s for a few years and in the music industry that is a long time.

Now back to Nicole. While almost anyone who is anyone was in London at the BAFTA'S, Nicole was sitting glumly, often with a seat filler next to her. Wouldn't they let you sit in the back Nicky? Just as well because we all got to see what a fine time she was having. Can you say bored out of her mind in another way? What you don't see in the still shots is how Mrs. Urban sat pouting and almost comatose throughout most of the show. When joined by her husband she at times would lash into him or ignore him. Often she would have to be prompted by her husband to stand or even applaud. The one time I do wish the cameras had shot to Nicole was when Keith was introducing his former "tour mate" Carrie Underwood. He seemed a little choked by it. I wonder how that went over?

Could someone please tell me how Urban and Nicole got front row seats again at the Grammy’s? Why? Keith was nominated, but for an award that was given earlier in the day. I see why Sir Paul and his new girlfriend got front row, but the two dropouts from Oz? That is one reason I believe the Grammy’s for Nicole weren't about Keith but about being seen as the dutiful wife/movie star. Yes, Nicole is trying to rebuild her image. Front row means that all those photo agencies will take a snap and put it on their web sites to be picked up by those internet sites that will talk about her all day. Nicole probably had no plans at all about attending. Keith more than likely didn't want her there and he did attend many pre-Grammy events alone. But three hours of being seen on television supporting your hubby, you can't get that with a phone call to publicist can you? But Nicole blew it big time when she posed with the other stars of music. You see she blew her cover, because Keith should be in the middle of the photo, not Nicole.

Nicole needs to remember to defer to her husband. Apparently at a post Grammy party, a very well known singer/actress approached Keith and chatted a while with him while Kidman sat there wondering why. She sat there until a photographer came up to the couple and as they got ready to pose, Kidman jumped between them.

Oh, and Nicole, Sir Paul actually does deserve to have you get your ass out of the chair and stand when he greets you. Keith got that why not you? Oops, I forgot. In your head you are even bigger than anyone in music, even Paul McCartney.

Tom + Keith + Nicole in Daytona!!!!

Oh to be a fly on the wall for this event!!!!

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7014062637

Cruise-in In Daytona

February 12, 2009 4:37 p.m. EST

Buddy Shacklette - AHN Sports Reporter

Daytona Beach, FL (AHN) - The Daytona 500 annually brings its share of celebrities to town and this Sunday will be no different as film star Tom Cruise will be here to drive the Chevrolet Camaro pace car at the start of the race.

Cruise played NASCAR driver Cole Trickle 19 years ago in the movie "Days of Thunder,' a portion of which was filmed here at Daytona International Speedway.

"It all came together pretty quickly," said Speedway president Robin Braig. "We're not really sure how it happened, but we're pleased that Rick Hendrick got involved, and that Chevy and NASCAR agreed to let him drive the pace car."

It should make for a interesting reunion as Cruise's ex-wife, actress Nicole Kidman, will be here with current husband Keith Urban, who will perform in the pre-race show. Cruise and Kidman met while filming "Days of Thunder' here.

NASCAR team owner Rick Hendrick, who 19 years ago supplied the race cars used in the film, had Cruise as a guest in December in New York City at the annual NASCAR awards banquet.

Hendrick will ship two of his "Days of Thunder" cars to Daytona, which will be on display during Sunday's pre-race hours.

In recent years, the Daytona 500 pace car has been driven by baseball half-of-famer Cal Ripken Jr., talk-show host Jay Leno, and racing legend Junior Johnson.

Keith and Nicole's Conversation Overheard at the Grammy's

NK: I’m bored.

Keith: What? I’m having a blast.

NK: Whatever. I want out.

Keith: I can’t leave yet. I have another performance. Sunday is fine, if you are worried about her.

NK: Who?

Keith: Sunday…our daughter. I called fifteen minutes ago and she was fine – drank her bottle and was off to sleep.

NK: Whatever. I’m bored. These people are so…dull.

Keith: What? These people are the elite of the elite. This is MY Oscars.

NK: PFFFST…right. Like there could be any question about someone like you winning an “Oscar.” Don’t be ridiculous!

Keith: Say what you will, but I was asked to step in at the last minute for the Al Green song, because they knew I could…they actually respect my musical ability.

NK: Sure, Kevin … they respect you. Right. OK…wait…did I miss the camera? Was I on?

Keith: … I don’t know…maybe. And … It’s Keith.

NK: Maybe? Kiefer, you’re supposed to let me know if they start shooting over here. I need to smile for the camera. I just had my cheeks done, you know.

Keith: Sorry baby. I didn’t notice. And … it’s Keith.

NK: God, I can’t ever rely on you. You’re so self centered. Between you and that screaming baby at home, I am nearly done. I had to spend almost 30 minutes with her this afternoon before the nanny would take her.

Keith: I’m sorry baby. I was so focused on my performance and then, the introduction for Carrie, I just lost track.

NK: Carrie this and Carrie that. Have you been screwing that skinny b*tch?

Keith: What? Nic…baby … I am not sleeping with Carrie Underwood.

NK: I got the botox and the cheek implants and the lip injections just for you Keegan, so I could look good for you...

Keith: It’s Keith. OK…Nic, you look just fantastic. I have to go back stage again to get ready for my last performance.

NK: What? Again? I can’t even remember who you are playing with. Is it Bono?

Keith: No…not Bono. Remember…I’m part of a tribute to Bo Diddley, with BB King, Buddy Guy and John Mayer.

NK: You should be playing with Bono…or Sting…or Sir Paul. BB King … who is he anyway? Bo Diddley sounds like a cartoon character.

Keith: He’s a very important part of the history of rock and roll. I’m playing with BB King and Buddy Guy…It’s a huge honor for me.

NK: I never heard of them. Just get it over with Kristopher. Are you wearing your high heels?

Keith: Well, I didn’t put the 3 inch heels on. I have my boots on.

NK: I wanted you taller. I wanted you to look more like…well…Tom. Only taller. I’m not keen on that suit either. You need a tie and vest.

Keith: Not for the Grammy’s. I wanted to look myself for a change…I didn’t want to look like a freakin’ banker.

NK: Well, for the Oscars you’ll wear what I tell you. Go do your Bo King imitation or whatever you’re doing and get it over with.

Keith: Bo Diddley … it’s a tribute. Fine … then, we can head home to Sunday.

NK: What? I’m not going home for that snot nosed baby. I want to meet Sir Paul and maybe P Diddy or someone like that. Maybe we can go to one of the parties. I feel like partying.

Keith: Well, I’d like to get home to our baby. I was so busy with rehearsals that I hardly spent any time with her today.

NK: You go home then, Kelvin. I’m partying with some real musicians.

Keith: Nic, you should really spend more time with Sunday. She will grow up not knowing her mum.

NK: Seriously, Kerry, she is not going to forget who I am because I go to a party one night. Show her a picture.

Keith: Is that your final word? You aren’t coming back to the hotel with me after the show is over?

NK: Don’t put this kind of pressure on me, Kenneth. I have spent almost every afternoon between 2 and 3 pm with that child for the last two weeks. I think I’m owed a night out partying.

Keith: its Keith…My name is Keith. Ok…I’m off to perform and then, I’m heading back home to Sunday. You can do what you want.

NK: Exactly right. I deserve a night out. I have only been out four nights this last week and had to stay home on Wednesday night because the Nanny wanted a night off. So I was stuck babysitting. I was bored out of my mind.

Keith: Well…That explains it.

Why can't the music speak for itself?

People magazine is running another country music edition this month and there are two stories that struck my interest. First, a quick reminder of what People magazine is all about. According to Ted Casablanca in a CNN special about four years ago on gossip, People is a publicist’s wet dream. Nothing gets in those pages without it being cleared by a personality’s paid staff. So do you trust People? I tend to not take everything said there literally, nor do I trust that everything written in the pages is accurate. It is what they want you to read and to believe; true about any magazine? Yes, it is.

Another forum that I tend to not take seriously at all is a blog sponsored by a newspaper or a cable network such as CMT. Let’s face facts; the people that blog on CMT are there to promote CMT and those who bring big ratings to CMT are butt kissed. Thus the explanation for a blog that appeared earlier in the week that said that Keith and Nicole appeared to be like everyone else when they were at a local Nashville bar the other evening. Well, no, they aren't like everyone else because you violated their privacy by telling the world you saw them. If that was the goal, then mission accomplished. There is a reason things appear when and how they do.

Back to People and the two stories. First a photo spread of Dierks Bentley and his newborn daughter. It is sweet, it is nice; lots of pictures and a quaint story about the pressure on Bentley because he has the family now and how he is going to work that out. It’s exactly what you see in People and it came out just as he is starting his tour and his new record is released. It was planned and understandable. And Dierks speaks like a normal, down to earth person. The second article is about the young boy who played Keith Urban in the Start a Band video. People sought him out in Nashville. Turns out this acting thing is a career and the kid likes it. However, the article also talks about Keith and that the kid got to meet some woman named Nicole Kidman. Yeah, right. The video was for a Brad Paisley song and there was another boy who played Paisley but that was barely mentioned. Why? Because Keith Urban is the one with the record coming out and he is the one that needs the press. It’s funny but both of these artists are good, both can put out good music. Why the need to use other means to sell records? Well, that's what we expect, isn't it? The music is an afterthought. Too bad, because that is where we may be missing what is really important.

It's not that you do, it's that you said you don't...

The gates have unlatched and all hell has broken loose; Nicole Urban is a smoker. Like we said in the last blog, we know that. The entire world now does and that's what makes this all so very delicious. For years now we have pointed out the contradictions that make Mrs. Urban the spectacular virtuous woman that she is; it’s nice to see the rest of the world has caught on.

However, there are a few who are jumping all over us and others who are there to highlight Mrs. Urban's contradictions. Unfortunately they are coming down on us because they feel we are not ones to point these things out. They are of the group that thinks ‘so what if she smokes, you just hate her because she is married to Keith Urban'… We don't hate Nicole Urban; we just don't like phony liars and Mrs. Urban has shown herself to be one for decades now. Nicole Urban has put herself out there to be scrutinized and judged because she has chosen to make statements about her life in the media. It is as simple as that. We simply see the mixed messages she has given us and we have this forum to point it out. Nicole has told the world she doesn't smoke, she doesn't use botox, she had a baby naturally and she likes her husband’s music. When we see with our own eyes that she has in fact contradicted herself by acting in opposite ways, what should we do? Accept the pabulum and say ‘more please’, or sayout loud that this woman manipulates the media and to speculate on why she does it? Big question to answer isn't it? We already have.

So chamber music lover Nicole was apparently at an AC/DC concert in Nashville this Saturday. That's what someone put in their gossip blog that is; but who knows unless there is a picture. There were a few sets of her on set in Rome right around the same time. It’s like hearing she doesn't smoke and seeing that she obviously does.

One more quick note, you may notice that I am using the name Nicole Urban in this blog instead of Nicole Kidman. Why? Because I heard that she corrects people who call her Mrs. Urban or Nicole Kidman Urban to instead address her as Ms. Kidman.