The First Annual Urban Myths Awards

If we had an official ceremony and a red carpet event, Kidman would show up, so we decided to not do anything formal, but we'll just hold a quiet party in the back booth of a Nashville bar - you know "that" booth. We promise that there will be no passing out...

Let’s go straight to the awards!!!

The most outrageous moment for Nicole Kidman:
There were so many, so, so many, that the editors here at Urban Myths had to really think about it but ...the winner is:

Nicole in her Britney-slut wear at the Arias in October 2007. She has worn ridiculous outfits in the past, but this really showed how desperate she is.

The most outrageous moment for Keith Urban:
Making a call from a radio studio in Australia and talking to his beautiful, beautiful princess.

Runner up:

• Leaving Germany when he was finally rediscovering the joy of massage.

Best couple moment for the Kidmans:

Runners' up:

• We had the tension at the Oscars where the only oral gratification Keith could get was from multiple In and Out burgers.
• The St Bart's vacation - where we all got to see Keith in swimming trunks and Kidman doing a pole dance
• The carnival ride in Oz when Kidman wore her hair just like her acting hero Buffy Davis from Family Affair - Keith played a great Mrs. Beasley!
• The birthday party for her sister where Kidman reportedly got drunk, had a fight with Keith and still looked like a bad, bad train wreck
• The so in love pictures taken at the Arias - if you look closely you will see that Kidman is scoping out where the camera is and kneeling down to get the love pose with Keith. Keith is, of course, oblivious.
• The CMA's, the Golden Compost opening in London, Maggot's opening in New York - seeing Keith wear big boy clothes

But the best moments, the times that they were supposedly together, but maybe they weren't: Her birthday, their anniversary and his birthday. Sorry, we didn't want to see these pictures and of course they would have had to be together to get those.

Urban Myths Best Writer Award:
Wendy Day - she is spewing so much stuff she can't keep it all straight.

Urban Myths Best Gossip Site:
Laineygossip.com. While Lainey has had periods where the Kidmans have not been talked about in her funny, well-written prose, recently she has come back with a number of jabs at Kidman. Love ya, Lainey!

Best Gossip Personality:
Perez Hilton - from his coverage of Amanda to his current jabs at the botox whore we think things will get better and better in the new year.

Best Blog about Kidman:
Nicole Kidman’s Forehead- this is a witty place, a fun place, and a place where the truth is being told.

Best fantasy site:
Nicolekidmanunited - my goodness, those are real people that write those posts.

Best use of paid employees:
The posters on various Keith Urban fan sites to garner an interest in Keith. "OHMYGOSH THAT KEITHY IS SO MY MAN!!" And "Me and the little missus loaded up the trunk and flew all the way around the world just because we like him."

Best message board:
E!Online, because even if they are wrong they are so very entertaining - and are they wrong????

Best waste of money:
Monkeyville or anything involving Greatest Hits or Love Pain and the Hard on I Used to Get.

Keith Urban's best way to waste money, fuel and time:
Flying all over the world to see the contractual wife.

• Runner up:
  That damn tattoo on his arm

The smartest two people in the world:
Bella and Connor Cruise - who were only seen with their Nicole twice this year.

Most missed person in Keithworld:
Mum

• Runner up:
  Keith

Best way to enjoy a Keith Concert:
It’s a tie!

Sit down during the dreaded dedicated song and sing the Urban Myths version of it.

Looking for Thumper trying to escape.

The most anticipated event for next year:

Runners' up:

• House and Gardens 28 page layout of the Nashville Farm
• “He told me he loved me”
• “Another 15 minutes and more plastic surgery”
• “The farmer in me” - Nicole Kidman and her new career: Cheese Maker
• Keith's sold out tour of Motel Six lounges, and
• Greatest Hits Vol 2: The Adopted Kids - Keith singing other's hits because his muse is Gone with the Fugly Wind.

Winner:
The nine months it will take to produce faux baby Kidman.

and finally!

The moment that was the most important in all of the muck we have had to witness this year:

Runners' up:

• "I have never had any plastic surgery, I don't smoke and I stay out of the sun""
• "I would like a goat so I can get some cheese"
• "I love him; I live for him" (said in both 1998 and 2007)
• "Keith told me he wants a few years just with me so we aren't having a baby"
• "We’re not not trying"
• "Keith isn't used to this, so he doesn't do red carpets"
• "Keith is really very good, you can take my word for it"

And the winner…..

drum roll…..

"I was concussed, it was terrible."

Someday this whole thing will end, and we will look back at this and laugh. Or, Kidman will have a botox overdose. Or, Keith will get caught doing what Keith does best.. Until then hold on tight, this ride is always bumpy.