Tuesday, March 27, 2007

A Song for Keith Urban from His Fans

"We Told You So"

You said you needed your space
You weren't where you wanted to be
We didn't stand in your way
We only want you to be happy
And so surprised are we to see you here tonight

Well, can't you see that for worse or for better
We're better together
Please, just come back home
And don't say that you're sorry
And we won't say we told you so

Sometimes in our lives
We get to where we wonder if
The long road that we're on
Is heading in the same direction
When it comes to you and me
You're right where we knew you would be

Oh, can't you see that for worse or for better
We're better together
Please, just come back home
And don't say that you're sorry
And we won't say we told you so

Sometimes it's like we're deep in nothing but lust
And the slightest thing can grow so foolishly

Oh, can't you see that for worse or for better
We're better together
Please, just come back home
And don't say that you're sorry
And we won't say we told you so
But we told you so
Should have known better
Than to leave us, baby
Should have known better
Than to leave us, darling

Monday, March 26, 2007

Seeing is believing - Kidman and K-Kid on the prowl for the folks back home

It is always amazing that what you wish for can often come true. That's what has happened to this writer.

I wanted to see more pictures of Keith and Nicole in public. I was so tired of all those blog sightings. They aren't as thrilling as seeing the golden couple in public. Everyday it seems we have a new picture of Kidman and the hired help going to a movie, a new play, a concert. Don't they ever stay at home? He was gone for a week, and she is his wife isn't she? Wouldn't you at least spend part of the last 48 hours being a wife? Performing those quiet chores that would enable K-Kid to get his wish and become a daddy? Of course you can't do that in public can you? Well Keith did in Nashville last October but...

Kidman was probably mad because he was away and she can't do anything with her friends because the only one I know that she has is in New York and very pregnant. So damn it K-Kid, service the shrew. Take her out. Get her picture in People.com. The folks back home need to know you are together and happy. Sitting in your separate bedrooms in your separate residences just doesn't cut it. She needs to sell that romantic epic that she is making and you need to be beloved in Oz since you Dixie Chicked your way out of Nashville with your recent comments. So pull on that blue shirt again K-Kid and take her out. I can't wait to see you again. You always look so happy, don't you? And while you are at it, can I request one shot just for me? I want to see how you two hold hands and eat at the same time.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I am Keith Urban and you are going to like me... Princess Nic married me, don't you know...

It interesting to read the press reports coming from the “land down under”. After you scoop the poop away, they make for a very humorous tirade of ego and pretentiousness.

Well, who wouldn't want to be loved in the land they were raised in? I can't fault Keith for wanting the recognition for his work. I can't fault him for longing to be seen as a homeboy as opposed to an exiled country western singer, who couldn't even get press during his last tour home two years ago. This really seemed to be a burr up his butt from the amount of crap flowing from his lips. It's not just a plea for recognition, but a desperate cry for respect.

The problem is that he is using his personal life to get the attention. Now I understand this, and I can't really get too angry because they don't know him. Wait! I am wrong! He is a farm boy with the backward parents, the druggy womanizing singer, who was such a pussy he had to go to rehab after marrying their royalty because he wasn't man enough to handle his drink. That’s right, she married him. But, many over there have said she hasn't been quite right since she and Tom Cruise broke up. He met her. He used her celebrity to get world wide fame. He charmed her and he will hurt her in the end. Yep, he is not of stock, nor stature, worthy of their princess. So why try so hard Keith?

At almost 40, Keith is staring middle age down. He isn't a rocker, as rock is a young man’s game. He isn't a legend, and can't rest on his laurels. He needs this time this tour to make his mark. So, I will keep reading away - more tales of his marriage and his love of his homeland. I hope he will get everything he wants from this tour. Because, when he comes back to the place that accepted him, the place that made him feel welcomed, the place and the people who accepted him for who he was and showed him that was okay. Then he might realize that home isn't the place you are from, it’s what you create.

Keith you say home is with your wife. I think someone should remind you it's where you are accepted for who you are, and what you do, and in respecting that you get respect in return.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

The Artist Formerly Known As Keith Urban

I want to take a moment to remind Keith Urban who he was before Nicole stepped into his life and derailed his career. Those of you that already know all of this, come along for the ride.

Let’s start with your self-titled American CD which debuted in 2000. It produced three Top 5 hits and secured you the ACM Top New Male Vocalist Award and the CMA Horizon Award in 2001. That year you also won four other awards for your musical abilities.

Golden Road, released in 2002, had Somebody Like You at number one for eight weeks - longer than any other single in 2002.

In 2003, your music garnered another four awards for the mantel.

The year of 2004 saw you headlining, and you were the first non-American to win the CMA Male Vocalist of the Year.

In 2005, the Alive in ’05 tour was very successful. You received 14 awards that year, including the CMA Male Vocalist of the Year for the second time. I bet performing in Philadelphia for the LIVE 8 concert was awesome. You were chosen for the very successful GAP ad campaign and named the CMA Entertainer of the Year for 2005. 2005 was a great year for you - Good on ya’, Keith!

In 2006, you won a Grammy and the CMA Male Vocalist of the Year for the third year. You also earned the ACM Top Male Vocalist of the Year for the second year in a row. That is a total of nine awards for 2006.

Your CD’s:
Keith Urban - Platinum in 2003
Golden Road - Triple Platinum in 2005
Be Here - Quadruple Platinum in 2006

You have written or co-written 90 songs and played on numerous artists’ albums and music videos. You toured with performers others can only dream of working with.

Oh and your private life…was pretty much that.

Very impressive! It really validates all those years of hard work, doesn’t it Keith?

Amazingly, you were able to do all this without the intervention of the extraordinary one.

Let’s fast forward to see what is happening these days, shall we?

You were musically invisible in 2006 - off the road for most of the year. If you have read any of the other blogs, you know just how personally visible you were in 2006 and remain to this day. Here’s a hint - it’s not flattering, and your core fans don’t like it. Do you?

Capitol did release your Love Pain CD, but where were you to promote it? That’s right…rehab.

Your first single off of that CD debuted at #17, setting a new record, yes…but quickly fell down the charts and is rarely played on country radio these days. Sorry, Keith.

The next single released was Stupid Boy. Great song, but it only made it to #3 but without a decent music video to go with it. The Atlanta performance video was good but you’ve been there…done that. Stupid Boy has now begun it’s descent on the charts. And that’s really too bad.

I Told You So is rumored to be the next US release and has a music video to support it. Or, so you have told us in one of your video messages. Those messages work - you should do more of them and more often.

This is going to sting a wee bit, but you were initially nominated for four CMT awards but only ended up with one nomination that will stand. Remember Keith, the CMT awards are ALL fan voted. Interesting…non?

To your credit you have done a few TV appearances and played a couple of concerts. That was good. To get the band functional, right? Makes sense to me. They were probably a bit rusty.

So far, this is a very lethargic start for someone who claims to be jonesing to get back on the road. Don’t you think, mate?

We’ve seen that you have been busy resting up in St. Bart’s. I guess you are preparing for the tour while strolling on the beach and sunning on a yacht. All the strenuous work you have done while living in LA required a bit of holiday on the islands. How nice for you!

Meanwhile, your core fans are being wooed by other artists and they…are…leaving.

Riddle me this, Guitarman…

Do you realize how out of touch you are with your fans? A relationship YOU built. Will you be able to get your career back on track? Do you even want to? Are you preparing to WOW us all back and into those huge venues that have booked upcoming dates? And, if not, I wonder what you will think when you look out on the audience. Will you even notice that we are missing?

Well, the jury is still out on those questions. Since the US leg of tour doesn’t start until June, I guess the jury has a long wait to decide those answers, but, I guarantee you Keith, the deliberation will be very short.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Nicole Kidman - help or hindrance?

For many skeptics, one of the reasons given for the Urban/Kidman coupling was to boost Keith's popularity. One can see that this has been the case. In early 2005, few outside of Country Music knew who Keith Urban was, let alone what he did for a living.

There was a fateful meeting at G’day LA. Someone’s clever scheme to get back at her former husband and someone’s wish to be famous collided. With one picture of one motorcycle ride it was fait accompli. Goal met. The world knows now that the motorcyclist was a moderately successful country singer. He was known for being big with the ladies and for being quite the guitar player. It didn't hurt that he was from her homeland. A match made in heaven? Was there something else going on?

What the world didn't know was that this guitar player is also a recovering drug addict. He was a well known womanizer and a man who kept quite an active and social life going in Music City. But the world soon found out. Whereas Nashville keeps its secrets the rest of the world’s press doesn't, and when the woman you are rumored to be dating is one of the most famous in the world, well one can only imagine that closets will be opened and skeletons will be revealed.

That is the problem with being with Nicole Kidman. Keith Urban lost his privacy and his identity. Yes, we will see in the next few months as he begins his tour overseas her impact, but we will also see how Camp Urban has been scrambling in the US to fight her impact. Dear reader, Keith Urban turned into Keith Kidman and even he is saying that’s not right.

Let’s watch the next few months and see where all of this will go, because I think that in order to get Keith Urban back he will have to lose Nicole Kidman. Her shadow is just too great and he wasn't as strong as he believed himself to be.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Flaunting ones lifestyle ala Kidman

As much as some like to read about the rich and famous, there comes a point where there is difference between reading about someone and someone flaunting their lifestyle in your face. Nicole Kidman flaunts her rich life and her bought and paid for husband in your face. We can start with the flying by private jet. Kidman learned this from former husband Tom Cruise and it is s convenient when you don't want to rub shoulders with the little people, but in this day and age, with fossil fuel being a luxury and the pollution that a little plane omits, its seems a tad bit

During the “courtship” there were the private two bedroom suites in Boston and Phoenix that cost thousands per night. There were also private dinners at exclusive restaurants that go for a thousand a pop. Places you know you wouldn't go but are just so trendy for the “bought and paid for”. There are the rented cars, seems she played Keith by getting him lovely cars to drive to those quaint eateries. And in the bigger cities she used drivers and limo services.

Then there is the ring. The ring she bought herself in early October of 2005. Yes, Keith Urban did not buy her that ring; she bought it herself as part of her ploy to acquire the musical one. Then, of course, more private jets and little trips here and there and finally a Bentley. The signature car to show off your money. Of course the institutionalized wealthy have them but they do not flaunt them.

Which brings us to the wedding. The “low-key” affair cost close to a million dollars if you add up everything including Keith's pay out (the prenup/contract).

Let’s talk about the prenup…does it exist? Most say it does. Clause highlights: $35 million at the end of 1 year, plus the penthouse in Sydney, a boat, and his own private plane. All for showing up...but as we know he couldn't even do that…

And what about rehab four months after the wedding? Kidman picked out Betty Ford. Did she pay for it too?

After he was branded and was summoned to Australia it was announced that she bought some fairly exclusive beach property for her family and herself. And what about property? She does own a home near Tom Cruise’s in Los Angeles. She owns several properties in Australia. Rumors that she owns property in New York City. Keith only owns his home in Nashville - a shack in Kidman’s world and a place she does not want to live.

So we have a woman who grew up comfortable, but was by no means rich, getting rich primarily by her marriage to Tom Cruise. She bought her second husband, Keith Urban, and is flaunting that marriage and her lifestyle for all of us to envy and hold dear. Well, I for one, don't hold it dear. The spectacle of this last week with these two pretending to be all happy and content, and subsequent rumors they are all over Las Vegas and Monte Carlo and London. Jumping off of a $64,000 a week boat and flying their little jet all over makes me ill.

One is taught that having money is fine; flaunting money can be a mistake. Perhaps Mr. Kidman will be learning that soon enough.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Nicole Kidman, the Oscars and beyond...

Dateline: Hollyweird 2/ 27/07

In a nicotine cloud Nicole Mary Kidman Cruise Urban sat and collected her thoughts. As she looked in the mirror she took stock of the last few days.

“I was noticed at the Oscars. But they made fun of me because I got that extra injection. I couldn't hold Naomi's hand enough even though I did try to show everyone she is my bestest friend. I saw the one true love of my life and his child bride. I tried to talk to Meryl but she was busy.

Oprah was too busy talking to him. So I sat on the couch and the only person that came to me to talk was Rupert Murdoch. I am glad I could talk to him because I was able to get a few photographers for next week. I am finally done with my next role and ready for another. My ribs seem to be healed. I guess it all went well except him. He wore the wrong suit Friday night. They made fun of him and in turn me. Me! They asked him about rehab again. Rehab, rehab, rehab! If only they knew the truth about that.

Then he fought with me so that people heard it at the hotel. He went out by himself and was seen so I had to ask Catherine to call Foxy and plant a blog sighting of the two of us together. And now he has moved back to Cowpieville. I am so upset I might have to go have another injection.

I looked great for the Oscars and he wouldn't walk down the damn carpet with me. More about him. He is worried they will ask him about rehab again. I am so sick of it always being about him.”

She took the silver goblet she was drinking from and threw it against the mirror. The mirror broke in a thousand pieces and Nicole started thinking... what does he need most from me in the future? “Well for Oz and Europe he needs me to be the perfect wife. The loving happy wife. Well I can give him that. Oh sweet Jesus, I can give him that in bunches. Those jealous cow fans of his - they hate me and he needs them to buy tickets for his tour. Let me find a way to give them what they want??? Let me go to these fat lady Keith sites. Who are the skeptics? What a bunch of whores this bunch is. He probably did many of them. So let’s see…They never see us kissing. They never see us in a loving embrace. They haven't seen us all over one another. They have never seen him without a shirt. I have a brilliant idea.”

"Yes Catherine, rent me a boat in the French Indies." "Rupie, please can I get those photographers for next weekend. PLEASE?"

"What the hell do you mean you are playing in Nashville and can't leave? Who paid for the surge in your popularity? Who got you all those damn dinners in Hollywood? Hey buddy, Bono wanted to screw me remember. Why do you have to play? Haven't I made sacrifices for you? Humor me! I believe you owe me. Fine, fine, sometime this weekend. Well you better show off that tattoo I gave you. Tom hid his." As she hung up the phone she thought of her true love and asked why is it that people believe his love story and not hers?

Nicole was thinking this to herself when the phone rang. It was Naomi going on about being pregnant again. Oy! I wish I didn't love her so. I need to be with women. That’s right! A big gaggle of girls! We can play and delight in those sunsets on the water. But I also have to show the world how happy I am. Catherine just called and said a major US tabloid was going to talk about us being separated. Well, I will show them. Okay here is my list for photographers. I want at least 150 photos to be ready by Sunday evening.

1. Shots of us kissing - and he better be into it this time
2. Shots of us together- I must remember to be on my good side and remove my hat for those kiss pictures
3. Shots of my body in and out of the ocean- those cows will hate that
4. Him without his shirt on - God I can’t believe his boobs are bigger than mine, but that shows those women he is mine!
5. Which also means we must show my tattooed name on his arm. I still don't know why he didn't put my face there just my name?
6. Hand holding, groping… but I have to do something spectacular.

As she was thinking about this she turned on one her movies… she often found comfort in her old films, today it was To Die For and she was on the scene where she was dancing in the rain to Sweet Home Alabama, it came to her. I have it!!! I can dance like that on the boat that will be sexy and seductive. Maybe he will sprout some wood remembering that woman he liked to eat Reece's pieces with in his bed. I hope they can get that on film. Nicole began to busy herself packing and planning for the big weekend ahead. She made a call and her plane and was ready to go. She will show them who he is married to and that he loves her beyond a doubt. She smiled to herself and flew out the door. Perhaps she over planned but, it seemed that of all the things that she and her husband were accused of not doing for one another she missed one of the most important...

And that is why the weekend pictures didn't turn out the way she planned…