Sunday, August 31, 2008

Urban Myths Labor Day Music Festival - Day Two Continued

Wow! The crowd was phenomenal today! ... come back tomorrow for more great music!

The Baby Girl (Sunday Rose)

(to the tune of Easy [like Sunday Morning], the Commodores)

Know it sounds stupid
That I'm livin' with the pain
Girls, I'm be on the tour bus tomorrow
Seems to me, Nic
You know I've done all I can
You see I begged, stole, and I lied

Ooh it's the baby...
The baby girl Sunday Rose
That's why I'm trapped
My baby girl Sunday Rose

Why in the world would anybody put chains on me?
I've paid my dues to make it
Nic and Ansel want me to be
What they want me to be
I'm not happy when I'm forced to fake it! no!

Ooh it's the baby...
The baby girl Sunday Rose
That's why I'm trapped
My baby girl Sunday Rose!

I wanna be gone, so gone
I wanna be free to know
The things I do are right
I wanna be free
Just me! Whoa, oh! Babe!

It's the baby...
The baby girl Sunday Rose, yeah
That's why I'm trapped
My baby girl Sunday Rose, whoa

'Cause it's the baby...
The baby girl Sunday Rose, yeah
'Cause it's the baby
My baby girl Sunday Rose

Urban Myths Labor Day Music Festival - Day Two

I'm Trying Hard to Write My Own Songs

(to the tune of I Never Work on a Sunday, Keith Urban)


I’m trying hard to write my own songs
Desperate for a number one
Convince my wife she's not my savior
And get my muse back at my side

I was doing all the right things
Rising high up on that cloud
Left my metal on the mantel and threw my fate to the west
Boarded up a big jet liner for a g’day in LA
I never saw it coming; suddenly it had its claws in me
Fought it off till I was blurry, I guess I ran all night
Then 6 months later found me rollin’ into the east coast
With my resistance dead
Finally overtaken by the botox and a little contract that I signed


All that I could do is call up my Mum
To help me figure out this mess
I fumbled round & round for a way to seal this whole in my heart
canceled gigs and walked right into rehab
There I found a little sign that read “Use God Instead”
Now I’m on 6 of the 12 steps, trying each one carefully.


As I was detailing all the ways out
Along came Sunday Rose
At the studio somebody asked me if she was the ticket
I started laughin’ and said “You must be kiddin', I never unpacked my bags”
Tryin hard to tie up all the loose ends
You know what I have to do

Chorus x 2

I’m quite entitled to my daughter
Without her mother in my home

For those of you not familiar with this song… it’s from his self-titled 1997 Australian CD… you can listen here (and enjoy the pics!)….

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Urban Myths Labor Day Music Festival - Day One

Welcome to our Labor Day Music Festival! We'll have some original songs and maybe a cover song. Please pull up a chair, sit back, sing along, and have fun!

We'll be Home, Sunday Rose

(to the tune of Take Me Home, Country Roads - John Denver)

Almost Heaven, South of Nashville
We hit the Starbucks at very corner
My wife is bored there and taller than the trees
Colder than the mountains, her looks cause men to freeze


Sunday Rose, we’ll be home
To the place, We belong
We'll leave behind the famewhore momma
We’ll be home, Sunday Rose

All her nannies gather round her
Her Mom’s a stranger to her own daughter
Fake and musty, she paints a web of lies
Makes me yearn for the taste of Crown, tears in my eyes


I hear her voice, in the mornin' hours as she screams at me
The radio reminds me of the songs from Love Pain that they don't play
And drivin' down the road I get a feeling
That she has me tailed everyday, everyday


Monday, August 25, 2008

Question: What is the difference between Nicole Kidman and a whore?

Answer: Kidman gets a hell of a lot more money.

A recent television program pointed out how Hollywood actors are now making deals with designers and jewelers to wear their items on the red carpet. According to this program Kidman is one of the biggest stars to do this.

Apparently Kidman made a deal with Chanel around the time her perfume deal was made that she would wear their clothes exclusively at specific red carpets for a period of time. For Nicole Kidman to wear the Chanel exclusives at the Oscars, Golden Globes and two of her movie premieres in 2004 and 2005, she received a cool twelve million dollars. Who needs to work when all you have to do is wear a dress? The other thing that most of the stars deal in is that they get the clothes for free after wearing them on the carpet. Maybe I am just naïve, but it now becomes crystal clear why Keith Urban has so radically changed his red carpet wardrobe. How much is Keith getting paid to wear the Tom Ford suits he looks so uncomfortable in? I wonder too if that first Ralph Lauren suit he wore to the 2006 Oscars was really so Kidman could get another pay out. He apparently had something picked out but she insisted he wear the suit? Uh huh. This must be another reason Kidman needs to keep her dying career going so that she can whore herself out at an awards ceremony. That red carpet is such a pain isn't it?

Some asides to this blog: Some more "typos" are out there concerning young Sunday's actual birthday. Have you noticed like I have that more and more articles state her birthday as July 6, 2008? This could be cleared up by producing her birth certificate but we all know that isn't going to happen. Another thing that is very, very interesting is this new story that Keith's real name is Richard Keith Urbanski. I always thought it was Keith Urbahn and his father had the family's name changed when they moved from New Zealand to Australia in 1970, but who knows? We all thought he told the truth in interviews, didn't we, and we know better now. Who knows what may be dug up if someone were to dig a little deeper into the created world of Keith Urban? Maybe that is what is keeping him married to Nicole Kidman?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Nicole - You Ignorant Bitch

I would have said "ignorant slut" to borrow the line from Saturday Night Live but slut is too good a word for Ms. Kidman.

We have been here for far too long to not know how you manipulate the media for your own selfish reasons. This entire last week is full of smug, selfish, self-centered PR drops. Let’s look at the most obvious: taking the credit for an Olympic gold medal won by the Aussie boaters. Oh, the sainted Nicole places a phone call and poof they have GOLD! Spare me. The only Olympic type event Kidman would ever be able to compete in is media manipulation. I just bet she could give the Chinese a run for their money.

The main point of today’s blog is that while we could really care less about you and will be happy when you are off our radar, we still have some feelings for your husband. When you were having your hairdresser clip your faux hair to the back of your balding head, did you notice that Keith might be just a tad bit tired? The man looks exhausted and why wouldn't he be? YOU force him to fly back to Sydney to hold your hand and eat sushi. I would understand Keith wanting to fly back to see his daughter, as we know at least he is the natural parent, but Nicole you can't have that, can you? Nope you had to have a nice restaurant be inundated with the swarms of press you called to show how happy everyone is. Not only that, but you had to drag Keith's Mum with you and she looked as happy as those poor editors who are working on your close ups in the new epic. Let's just say she was less than amused. But you had to show the world that Keith's family is your family didn't you? Since when did you like to go shopping? You are famous for your disdain for shopping but there you are all out and about spending oodles of cash in Sydney to prove that you are oh so happy to be living in the homeland. Is this movie that important? Apparently it is, because you can't really afford too many more failures can you

As for Keith, He made it quite clear in a less than coherent cell phone call to a Detroit DJ that young Sunday is an American. A little girl of Nashville who is just visiting Australia. I get the feeling Keith feels more American than Australian and treasures the time he is over in the States. You can see it in his face, as his eyes seem to be covered up by the ever present ball cap, that he is dead tired and perhaps a bit bored with you and the cart and pony show. Don't worry Keith, we only have a few more weeks of her crappy, sappy PR until the film opens and then you can be off duty.

As for the other rumor that Kidman is knocked up again, don't buy it. While I am sure she wants to beat her one true love into having a second natural child, not that I believe she did this time, it would be quite stupid to be pregnant right now. Does Kidman need to have some kind of tragedy so people will feel sorry enough for her that they will flock to her movie? Risky isn't it? A plus to a faux miscarriage would be that Kidman wouldn't have to do press for the movie as she seems to be doing quite a lot these days. I wonder how much she wants to do it when she may be forced to discuss her new private life.

My final conclusion about this last week is that once again we have two people who really don't want to be together. It’s obvious but even more so when Keith doesn't have the energy to act. Kidman puts on the acting smile for the cameras but you wonder how much if any time out of the cameras these two spend with one another? Some of the media are already speculating that not all is happy. Nicole, give your husband a break and quit forcing him to do what he knows he shouldn't. But you can't do that; you do not have an ounce of compassion in you, do you?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Waiting - Part 2

‘Don't believe the lies’ made some excellent points I wanted to expand upon. I am also not a fan of the Love Pain album. I think he was torn in so many different directions he couldn't concentrate on the music. I think he was distracted, stressed, and not in a particularly good place and the music muse just wasn't rising to the occasion and performing on demand. I, too, would rather wait longer for good music than get something crappy out quickly. Well, we have already been told it will be longer than the customary two years between studio albums. Will the album be worth the wait? Based on Sunshine? Maybe not. Can Keith get back to his pre-Nicole success?

Before Nic, Keith toured. A LOT. Keith said while recording Be Here he would literally come in off tour, go straight to the recording studio, work on the album, then leave to go back out of tour. He didn't like it, but he did it and it was a great album. After Nic, the touring schedule was greatly cut back. Some of that was a result of the wedding and his rehab but Keith said himself that this year was either commuting back and forth between the US and Oz or not touring at all. Could a musician and performer really go almost a whole year without touring? I don't see how. He took time off from touring to record Love Pain and the quality of creativity was so much lower than that of which he has proven himself capable. Despite what he said he had not found the balance between career and personal life he claims he had. Will balance be found while recording the next album? So far, I'd say no.

Before Nic, Keith seemed to release singles more frequently and we looked forward to the next single. Videos for singles came out closer to the single release date as well. After Nic, singles seem to take forever to get released and the anticipation levels just aren't there as strongly anymore. It takes longer for videos to get filmed and released than it used to as well. Once upon a time videos and singles were out at the same time, playing off each other, to help the song climb the charts. What a concept! Now a song is well on its way up the chart before video filming even begins. So, he's touring less, taking longer to release singles, and videos come out weeks after singles are released.

Remember the pre-NK videos? The ones with story lines, artistic vision, and acting? More than just concert video footage like Somebody Like You, You'll Think of Me, Making Memories, Tonight I Wanna Cry, and Raining on Sunday. Since NK almost all we get is: set up the video camera and record video. Once In A Lifetime and I Told You So had a little story line but Stupid Boy and Everybody and now Shirt were pretty much set up the camera and let it roll. No real effort, time commitment, or showcasing of creativity.

Four singles off LPATWCT and now one off of Greatest Hits (when it gets added to the GH album) in two years. Be Here had 5 in two years. LPATWCT has had no #1 singles. Even if Shirt bumps Taylor Swift out of the #1 spot that still stands since Shirt isn't on that album. Be Here had three #1 singles and Golden Road had four. Even self titled Keith Urban, aka Blue, had one #1 hit. So, so far, the latest album has done worse chart wise then all his other US solo album releases including the first one when fewer people knew who he was. Let's hope the next two years are much, much better than the last two.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Keith, how long do we have to wait?

No, I'm not talking about until we get to see your daughter. It's been over five weeks now and even your family hasn't met or seen a picture (from you) of her. This tells me that: 1) The Urbahn family will never be allowed by Nicole to have any part of Sunday's life unless it benefits the mother; and 2) Makes me question a little more every day if Sunday is really your child. It's not such a far fetched thought, really. After saying this year would be good to become a father you changed your mind; it is allowed despite what your wife tells you, and you said you wanted a couple years where it's just you and Nicole. Pretty coincidental that Nic gave birth mere days after your second anniversary. Going with the assumption you weren't lying when you said in interviews that you don't have any children, if you can remain childless for 39 years I'm guessing Sunday wasn't an accident. So, either you changed your mind and decided you were ready for kids or Nic took matters into her own, um, hands, and proceeded without you. She claims she's had fertility issues in the past. (I personally don't buy that she had "failed pregnancies" in her 20's and 30's and a perfectly smooth and easy (morning sickness aside) pregnancy and delivery at 40 (but that's just me). It would be reasonable for a woman in her 40's "desperate for her own biological child" to seek fertility assistance. Who's to say while getting her fertility shots maybe she got a shot of someone else's "man juice"? She is over 40 - a girl can't wait forever to have a major publicity campaign, I mean baby. If she's not yours then why would your fans care when we get to see her? If she's not really yours that would explain the lack of urgency to introduce her to your family. Well, at least a tiny little bit. If you choose to raise her as your own that's your choice. We can wait until the publicity photos of Sunday come out during promotion for Australia.

But, I'm off chasing rabbit, monkey, or goat trails again. I'm really not referring to when we get to see your daughter. I want to know WHEN are we going to get to hear some new music? Most studio albums are 11-15 songs long. You have said you've been writing and have around 12 songs done but the new album won't be out until next year. You also said you'd be flying people to Oz to work on the new album, but that doesn't seem to have happened. When most artists release Greatest Hits albums they include 2-3 new songs to give fans a reason to buy it when they already own all the other songs included. All you did was re-record a song from LPATWCT and add a cover that was used in the Margot at the Wedding soundtrack. I assume if you were going to release Romeo's Tune as a single it would have been done to correspond with the publicity and release of the movie. Since you released Shirt as a single I guess that means the remake won't be a single either. In the past you've released a new studio album every two years - almost like clockwork. GH was released a year after Love Pain. Following the time line we should have gotten a studio album the end of this year but you've said it will be next year. Rumor has it we might get another DVD this year, but those rumors have been floating around for over a year. Original rumors said the DVD would be released, maybe even paired with, the Greatest Hits album release, but it didn't happen. We're told it will be out this year but at this point we won't hold our breath until we see it on store shelves. If it does come out this year are there any new songs on the DVD? Have you been trying out new music out on the road this year? We heard about Sunshine performed at the Opry. Do you have more previews in store for us soon? How much longer do we have to wait for new music and a new video? I understand you have a new baby at home but millions of parents manage to juggle work and parenting every day. So please, leave the baby and nannies for a few hours, head into the studio, and give your fans some new music to get excited about.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

What's the Good Word, Mate?

Balance, bliss, calm, over the moon. Humbled, blessed overwhelmed.

All words used by Keith Urban in the month since the baby was born. Words are one thing, but how they are said and the way they are said is quite another. Since the baby has been here Keith looks anything but those words. Be it the red-eyed coffee run in Nashville or the entire interlude in Sydney, Keith just does not look very happy. I know all of you who believe in the fairytale are going to say that Keith is tired, just like any other new father. I call bull on that. He isn't like any new father. Keith Urban doesn't have to provide hour to hour, day to day care of the baby. They can afford a staff to attend to the baby’s needs and from the rumors they have a baby nurse and three nannies 24/7 to do just that. Why does he look so forlorn?

In my opinion, I think that he doesn't really want to be in Sydney; especially not hanging out on her movie set with Grandpa Kidman. Do you remember those initial reports that said Keith was staying in the States? I think he really wanted to be there recording, writing, and just hanging out while the wife is gone. Of course, he would probably be having fun, maybe even a little illicit fun. Of course he couldn't be seen doing anything like that, so off he goes on the jet that Nicole's one true love bought her, and swoops down to the homeland where his every move is documented, and where he can't seem to get any time alone. I am wondering if at some point this week Keith will slip away with the baby and present her to his parents. I do think they will see her, if they haven't already, but I seriously doubt Kidman will be there when that happens, and I think that in itself is what this marriage is all about.

This marriage is really just something for show. When it’s time they are seen out and about and when they don't need to be, they aren't together. I really think that in time they won’t be together very much at all. Careers will be calling and the baby will be split amongst the parents. Remember there were no pictures nor talk about the happy couple being together from November 27 until the big baby announcement in January? Of there were the manufactured stories about Christmas parties and New Years Eve boat rides, but no one has said they were there or said anything about either. There was just speculation that they were there. I think that is what this marriage is about; future separations and then photo ops where they have to look happy. Except someone gets a snap of the unguarded moment like at the CMAs when Keith looked pissed because she was dawdling or the Oscars when he stormed off. Keith really hasn't looked all that happy unless it’s his career or his awards. Guess that need for fame was more than you bargained for, wasn't it?

Sunday, August 10, 2008

A few questions to help us understand...

Here at Urban Myths we try to stay current with the latest myths surrounding the Kurbans but we are stymied about the last few days, so we have some questions to ask out readers.

1. When did Kidman become like royalty in Australia?
It seems that she can't take a break to the loo without it being a headline. Was it like this when Tom was her husband?

2. Are carriers and baby seats not required for hauling around a bundle of joy?

3. Does Keith go to more AA meetings in Oz than elsewhere?

4. Must one be a thespian or have the Kidman name to see the baby?
Seems that if you are named Urban or you aren't important, the baby is off limits.

5. Is there a rule that Keith must get major highlights in his hair whenever he gets to Sydney?

6. Why won't anyone say anything of substance about the baby?

7. How many times will Keith and Kidman go see the Dark Knight?

8. When are the Kurbans going to visit their new home?

9. What’s with the leather?

10. Why isn't Keith smiling more?

Just asking.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

What's the real issue Nicole?

It seems that while many of us, including myself, don't want to see the baby, Kidman is up to her usual tricks. A plant in a Nashville gossip column claims that young Sunday was out and about in Nashville at a restaurant, and many people saw her and her tufts of red hair. Funny that there aren't any pictures of this, kind of like the courtship. There were many supposed sightings of the loved up couple that were never documented; that heightened the illusion of a budding romance. You would think someone in a restaurant would have had a cell phone and they could have got a few snaps off? There aren't any, so we must put this crap in the crap folder and ask ourselves why? Because, dear reader, it was a set up for Kidman's grand return to Oz. That way Kidman herself could say Sunday has reddish hair even if she doesn't because it is time to tease the world.

I think there are three reasons for this kind of stuff. First Kidman is a Grade A Famewhore and needs the constant attention and this baby keeps her in the news. Even without seeing her, Sunday is a celebrity in her own right and that makes her mommy more so.

Secondly, while the first bunch of comments about Kidman being seen were about how remarkable it is that she was out and had lost the baby weight so soon, there has been a backlash about how Kidman appears to not be spending time with Sunday. So of course we had to see her with a blanket and supposed infant in tow stepping off the plane. Because this isn't the first time Nicole Kidman has been accused of not spending time with her newborn and bonding with the baby. According to the Morton book, Connor Cruise was treated the same way, put on the back burner for mom’s career. Sunday is a prop and nothing more. We want to be left alone – yeah, right.

The final reason is about the baby herself. No one has seen this child to comment on her appearance. Not a comment from the Grandmother nor a friend, nothing. There are rumors floating out there and if we have heard them you probably have too. So does she look not at all like mommy and daddy? Why would that be? Except Kidman is there to reassure us that she does look like Keith and Keith of course is playing his well-paid role well by saying no, she looks like both of them. At least Keith told a cute story about holding her and playing the piano at the same time but was that just another tease, like the plant of an outing? Of course it was; they want to build up that baby fever - not because of the baby - she could have had a doll in that blanket for all we know. Kidman had to be seen coming back home with her new baaaybeee and the sperm donor because they are “oh so happy".

We are too jaded from following these two around all these years not to know that everything is done for a reason. Calling a radio station was a good plan. Nicole and Keith didn't even have to be in the same room or the same house to do that and no one would be the wiser. Go ahead…pimp out the baby - but if they really did want what they said, they would simply put out a family shot on Keith's web site. But that won't happen because they are too addicted to fame to stop the great tease. Guess the baby was nothing more than a new PR tool used by a woman who is so desperate for attention she can't realize what she is doing to an infant. Sad isn't it?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Nothing big ever happens in August

August is such a quiet month. It’s summer in part of the world and winter in another. Doesn't the entire country of France take the month off? Yet, while we are enjoying this down time there seems to be something a stir on our Kidman/Keith meter.

Seems it’s just too quiet isn't it? Kidman seems to have fallen off the face of the planet and Keith has been putting in his time at those Chesney shows. We all should be resting up for the big press that will be had when the Kurbans move to London in September, but something seems a tad too laid back.

Do you feel it too? Guess we will have to checks those beacons of stability - that certain fan site devoted to Nicole and Keith's web site. Hmmmmm, interesting but that fan site is down. Has that happened before? Well, yes, in October and December of 2006. Anything big happen back then? Yep.

So I am going to go sit by the pool and work on my tan because I have this feeling I may be spending a lot more time on my computer soon.