Thursday, May 31, 2007

Keith Kidman's Free Concert in Oz

Our Nic meets Mr. Kidman at the airport... Part Two of the Conversations

Yet another conversation overheard by one of Our Nic’s minders or bodyguards or trainers or PA's, or whoever may have been hired for the day

Keith: My beautiful, beautiful princess (gagging) ... How was your day, my sweet? And you, little have you been? (Directed at Connor, who immediately looks away, so as not to acknowledge his stepdad).

Nic: Fine...I've been working my fingers to the bone....I've been on set for as much as 90 minutes's grueling...look...I have to impress the hell out of the cast and crew. I need you to put on a show at the local pub tomorrow night.

Keith: Well, gorgeous (another small gag), my throat is a little scratchy. How about the next night?

Nic: (Lighting up a cigarette) I thought I made it clear it would be tomorrow night. (takes a long drag and blows the smoke directly at Keith).

Keith: (cough) But light of my life (gagging yet again) my throat is a bit worn from my shows...if I could get one day of rest...

Nic: I don't know how much clearer I can get. It's tomorrow night and it's free, of course. Did you bring me a gift from Perth? It's the anniversary of my fifth week on this movie.

Keith: (swallowing hard) My pet...I uummm...of course I have something for you...but it's something I can't discuss in front of little Conroy, here.

Nic: This had better be good. I've had to explain that you are not here to bring me my water and one of the PA's has had to be my gopher. It's a relief to get you back so I don't have to carry my cavernous white bag.

Keith: Not that I'm complaining or anything, but do I note the faint smell of alcohol on your breath, my pet?

Nic: you have a problem with that? You're the alkie...not me. I have no intentions of giving up the things I love for you.

Keith: Of course not, baby. Well...I'll get in touch with the pub and set up the sound system and try to get my guitars here in time. I should be able to make the arrangements in time. And maybe I can grab a bite to eat. I ran to the airport and grabbed the first flight back to you this morning. I haven't eaten all day.

Nic: Right. Whatever. I need to impress these people so you better be good. Come Conrad, it's time for you to get to bed. It's nearly 8 pm and Mummy has some visiting and partying to do. Daddy...I mean, Uncle Keith will stay with you in case you need anything. Mummy will see you sometime tomorrow, between takes…

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Fugly in Pink

First in a three part series of comic relief for the blog…

A minder overheard this exchange between Nicole and her son after a day of shooting Fugly in the Wind. Little Connor looked like he was trying to keep his distance from Great Gramma and her weird "sun dress".

Nic: "Conrad...come into the pub with Mummy and have a soda pop."

Connor: "'s Connor and no, I think I'll just stay outside and enjoy the dust in the air and the smell of cow manure."

Nic: ", come on and show the common people how much you love your Mummy."

Connor: "'s Connor, and no, I don't think so. I'm just gonna kick a rock around or something entertaining like that. You go in and show off that (gag) beautiful frock you have on."

Nic: "Oh...Collin, you like my dress? You really like it? It's something I am so thrilled to wear and try to blend in with the common people. That way they might not try to look at me and make eye contact. I've tried to ask the mayor to ask the regular people to not look at me, but they keep doing it."

Connor: "'s Connor. I don't think it would hurt you to chat with some of them or give them an autograph."

Nic: " dare you think that your Mummy...who has actually won an Oscar and two Golden Globes...should have to make conversation with the common people ... let alone allow them to look directly at don't think that, do you? That is a ridiculous and inappropriate thought and you must immediately expel it from your mind...expel it now...immediately."

Connor: "'s Connor. Anyway...Dad would just give them an autograph and laugh hysterically at them or with them ... I'm never quite sure which it is. But they all seem to like him."

Nic: "Well, Carl, I am NOT your father, and I am not going to bring myself to that actually speak to these little people or allow them to gaze at me. So...get that out of your mind."

Connor: "'s Connor. Right...that's a good lesson to pass on to me, Mother. I'll remember that for the book that Bella and I are planning to write in a few years."

Nic: "Excellent, Christopher. I think you're catching on and quickly. Now run along and play with the guards. Mummy's popping into the pub to have some drinks before your drunken step father arrives and ruins her fun."

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Show Keith and Kidman What You Really Think

Are you going to see Keith this summer? Yeah, me too.

I have tickets for a number of shows. But after the display in Oz where the show was all about the marriage, and my fear that he will continue the “I love her, I really do!” tirade and the dedication of one of his most pedestrian and trite songs to her, I just can't support that.

So, I am giving him a chance. One chance to show me it is about the music and not his “brand new man” act. If I hear anything about her from his mouth on that stage, I am done. That's it! Pass in the songbooks. I won't go to the remainder of the shows.

That made me think: I have already spent my money for the seats (and I just don't buy one ticket), I bought at least four for each show. I decided that if I don't go then my seats should remain empty. I think anyone else who has already bought seats but does not want to listen to babble about his Once in a Lifetime Love shouldforgo the concert but not sell the seats. Leave them empty. Show Mr. Kidman that we are fed up and tired of the crap.

Now, before the bunnies and their like scurry over here to complain about how we've already spent the money, so it won't mean anything… well, I am also going to make sure that at every venue there is an entertainment reporter who will see the empty seats and ask why? As of June 25th, Mr. Kidman will be 36 million richer, so money isn't a factor. Playing to empty seats can do something to someone, even someone who supposedly doesn't care anymore about success or failure. Sorry, Keith, but the sideshow pushed out the only relevant factor in the equation and that is the music…

Keith, if you don't care why should we???

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Learning from the best: Keith is the only member of the Kidman cult

In the 1970's, when there was a rise in cults, there was a need for deprogrammers. These folks took the cult member out and away from the cult and brought them harshly back into reality. After reading certain interviews, it appears that Keith Urban seems in need of a deprogrammer.

He shows all the signs of someone in serious need of an intervention. Here is what led me to think this:

1. Statements that lead me to believe that he is in a very depressed state.
2. Actions that are irrational and illogical.
3. Questions about what rehab really taught him.

First, I don't believe for a minute that these two have any kind of love relationship. I believe that the wife was so hurt in her first marriage that she is incapable of it. I also can see by his statements that Keith is in no better state than he has been in any of his other relationships. He seems as if he is in a deep depression and isn't coping very well.

He claims this is his first real love. That he hasn't been able to love in the past. What a terrible thing to say those women who supported him and loved him in the past. Part of growing up, Mr. Urban, is not to say someone else is the cause of my happiness or sobriety. It's to say that "this" is my journey. But, of course, when you are coerced into worshiping someone else, any form of acknowledgment gets over-dramatized. When your statements are all about being a better____, then it becomes about that, about being a better servant.

Your problems are your own, and the women that have loved you in the past have gotten you to where you are, and not all of that is bad, is it? These about not being too far from the wife away smacks of dependence. I don't see the wife changing her schedule because she doesn't have to. He appears to be making all the changes, all the sacrifices, and what for? Will he give up his career? Sounds like he just might. And, that is very scary. It is not just a PR thing anymore.

It affects all the people who work and are supported by him. It is just like being in a cult. You cast off the people around you, and what you were doing, so that you can pay better attention to the cult. You also cast off your family. Do you think Keith has? I do. He also self-mutilated himself (he got a tattoo of her name and had her initials added to another tattoo from another woman) to show his devotion. He talks about his guru in every encounter. He looks to be seeking her approval, her acceptance and forget the rest of the world.

Is this dangerous? Yes. Anyone who has gone through rehab knows rule number two, after “one day at a time”, is to NOT to enter a romantic relationship or get intense about another person, as this can become an addiction. And I think the drug of choice for Mr. Urban is his self-centered narcissistic wife, who understood, because she was indoctrinated into one of the most questionable religions around.

So, do we all walk away? No, I like the guy and I don't want to hear about the LATE Keith Urban and I think that might come if there is a break up. So what can we do? We can boo the dedication. We can urge US interviewers to keep it on the music. We can challenge the PR by writing People and all the other tabloids, and complain about the coverage they get. Build the man up for being Keith Urban, not Keith Kidman. When we do this, and I am sure all of you can think of others things to do, we will all become deprogrammers. This isn't just for fun. We might just be saving Keith Urban's life.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Those Kidman girls and what they can do to a man...

So sad to hear about the demise of Antonia Kidman's marriage. Seems that the husband broke the record on trying to survive with a Kidman woman by one year over Nicole's first husband. Nicole almost ten years, Antonia eleven. What is tragic in this new case is that there are small children involved. Of course there were in Nicole's first marriage too, but there aren't the added whispers about the parentage of her kids. You wonder what makes these gals stray? We all know the rumors about why Nicole's first marriage ended, and she did miscarry not long after that, didn't she? That's one thing her sister has over her - she can birth those babies. But I am swaying from what I wanted to write about tonight, and that is the nauseating display going on down under if you attend a Keith Urban concert.

Perhaps because he thinks this is what they want to hear. Perhaps because she was in the audience, granted a short reprieve from the drudgery of her latest future box office flop, that he had to go on and on and on and on and... well, you know. I gave up following the sideshow for the next two weeks. I don't want to risk getting diabetes or some other illness that could make me very sick. But I have to scratch my head and say what the f*ck has happened to Keith Urban? I like the bad boy, the flirt, the guy that you had a chance to have a free pass with. The fantasy about this guy was that if the opportunity arose, and you had a vagina you had a chance with the man. Now, maybe he realizes that one should not conduct oneself in this manner. You end up getting lots of tail but you aren't filling up that hole inside. But in some way I believed that guy. I liked that guy.

This man that has emerged from rehab seems shattered. He seems that his whole existence is built on pleasing a woman who is so insecure she can't please herself. The love cries from stage, the nauseating concert talk of two forty year olds at a make-out spot, a woman who giggles and coos and makes the man forget his lines and lose his professionalism is too much. I walked out on that play. And my friends, it showed me it is nothing more than a play.

Nothing more than an act. Just like “You all started drinking early today,” or that McHugh was from whatever town they were in that night. I realized that Keith is playing at life. He is trying to keep up with one of the best actresses in the world. So good at her craft because she has no soul. Keith, I think better of you. I don't believe you love her. Try jumping on a couch on “Oprah”. I hear it does wonders for your reputation.

Perhaps you are scared about the future? I think you might not understand the man you are right now. Keith, get on stage, listen to your own inner voice, find the right person to love and you will find your way. Getting yourself in deeper in a situation that few believe is real could be devastating to the future. Learn from the men that preceded you. Get away from that Kidman woman. Run and don't look back. As it is, if the show continues in the US, don't be surprised when you do hear those boos at the dedication and don't be surprised that instead of M & Ms tossed at you, you will have various tampons and pads thrown, as you are turning into the pussy only Nicole Kidman wished she had.

Tough stuff, Mr. Kidman, but I am not spending almost one hundred hard earned dollars to see you perform in order to hear you - a multimillionaire and insecure man, play your contrition act with your multimillionaire insecure wife. The sideshow is becoming a freak show and few are staying to give a damn.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Rumors & Spin - It's Nicole Kidman's World and We Are Just Lucky to Live in It!

When I heard the rumor about Keith agreeing to wear a bracelet on his ankle so that Kidman can monitor his use of alcohol, something inside of me snapped. For God's sake, this is an almost forty year-old man who has been dealing with these demons for going on a decade. I wouldn't even dream of insulting his treatment or his recovery by showing that I couldn't trust him. I was getting madder and madder and then I realized that I fell for yet another Kidman yarn. Here is what happened -Keith canceled his Manchester concert. He left England before anyone knew. That’s it.

We have had a number of blog entries from those supposedly enough lucky to have talked to him in England or rode a plane with him to Australia. There was a picture that was supposedly recent of him getting some groceries. We tend to believe this stuff because we like the reason. He had a bacterial infection, said his web site four days after the cancellation. Yet one brave gossip columnist and her sources say it was something else altogether. Now that gossip person, who I have to admit has been quite accurate in her reporting of this entire relationship, said that it was possible that Keith fell off the wagon but it was more than likely he got caught with his pants down.

I believe the gossip column. I also see why it would be so important for Nicole Kidman to want you to believe that he was sick or even that he was capable of falling off the wagon. Why? Because like last fall, it's easy to excuse an indiscretion by blaming it on a drug problem, rather than what I believe is the real reason, and that is a very unhappy husband who wants to end this facade of a marriage by acting out in a way that smacks at the lies he has spewed.

In my opinion, Kidman has gotten so much from this union. She is considered almost a saint for being the rock that has supported her husband. She is the loving spouse, her career hasn't been harmed. What about Keith? He is trying to save what is left of his career. He needed her help to get in the door in Europe, but it hasn't helped. He is famous but his eyes tell you how sad he seems to be. His rhapsody to his marriage, his current CD hasn't been burning the music industry. He dedicates a song to her each night on stage and she has explained that the relationship is too precious, too private to talk about. It's sad that this man has done all of this and maybe, just maybe, he felt that too. Maybe he is fed up, ready to retire from being her man-slave.

Maybe that is why he sought the professional help he did in Germany. Whatever the case I hope where ever Keith is that he is able to relax and think and realize that the American leg of the tour is coming up. I don't think he will have to pay for any comfort he may be seeking.