First in a three part series of comic relief for the blog…
A minder overheard this exchange between Nicole and her son after a day of shooting Fugly in the Wind. Little Connor looked like he was trying to keep his distance from Great Gramma and her weird "sun dress".
Nic: "Conrad...come into the pub with Mummy and have a soda pop."
Connor: "Uhmmm...it's Connor and no, I think I'll just stay outside and enjoy the dust in the air and the smell of cow manure."
Nic: "Oh...Conroy...now, come on and show the common people how much you love your Mummy."
Connor: "Uhmmm...it's Connor, and no, I don't think so. I'm just gonna kick a rock around or something entertaining like that. You go in and show off that (gag) beautiful frock you have on."
Nic: "Oh...Collin, you like my dress? You really like it? It's something I am so thrilled to wear and try to blend in with the common people. That way they might not try to look at me and make eye contact. I've tried to ask the mayor to ask the regular people to not look at me, but they keep doing it."
Connor: "Uhmmmm...it's Connor. I don't think it would hurt you to chat with some of them or give them an autograph."
Nic: "Calum..how dare you think that your Mummy...who has actually won an Oscar and two Golden Globes...should have to make conversation with the common people ... let alone allow them to look directly at her...you don't think that, do you? That is a ridiculous and inappropriate thought and you must immediately expel it from your mind...expel it now...immediately."
Connor: "Uhmmmm...it's Connor. Anyway...Dad would just give them an autograph and laugh hysterically at them or with them ... I'm never quite sure which it is. But they all seem to like him."
Nic: "Well, Carl, I am NOT your father, and I am not going to bring myself to that level...to actually speak to these little people or allow them to gaze at me. So...get that out of your mind."
Connor: "Uhmmmm...it's Connor. Right...that's a good lesson to pass on to me, Mother. I'll remember that for the book that Bella and I are planning to write in a few years."
Nic: "Excellent, Christopher. I think you're catching on and quickly. Now run along and play with the guards. Mummy's popping into the pub to have some drinks before your drunken step father arrives and ruins her fun."