Thursday, July 31, 2008

The name of this blog is URBAN Myths...

After one of our recent posts a comment was made about how we don't seem to hold Keith at fault for any of the stuff we have had to deal with in the last three years. Well, we do. Keith Urban is as responsible as Nicole Kidman, probably more so because he has gone along with her manipulation the entire time. What it comes down to is this,..Keith has been using the fine art of manipulation since day one to further his career. When he met Nicole Kidman he got a graduate school education in manipulation.

He did what he had to “get famous”. You noticed I used that phrase and not a phrase like “build a career”? Because you don't build a career by posing in Playgirl, and giving interviews that stress his recovery and his spirituality. He used all of those and more, like dating up. Yes, the man had supermodel and Oscar winning actress girlfriends but he was also sleeping around. He would give an interview where he said he was lonely, yet he was living with someone and having a quiet home life. Keith was selling whatever it took to get famous - including media deception.

Most of his fan base didn't know a lot about this man. In some ways it was better when we didn't know much about the last ten years. I didn't want to know he could be bought like a good leather coat. But he was when Kidman sunk her claws in him. I really believe that he went to rehab, not just because he needed to, but because it was best at the time to put him somewhere so that Kidman could get some positive press instead of dealing with a slew of stories about his private life that threatened her “happy in love” image. The two sides of Keith Urban, the brilliant musician and the morally challenged human being, are often conflicting with that need, that addiction to fame. I actually think the real Keith Urban is probably a better person than Keith Kidman is. I am tired of the persona of a public screw up and a weak man who was saved by Kidman's love. I think Keith has always known what he has wanted and has done exactly what he has had to get it. There is nothing weak about that, just something very sad.

As a postscript to this blog, the Sydney Morning Herald published a blurb today that Kidman and the baby will be flying back to Sydney this weekend to start her re-shoots - without Keith. We'll see if he follows along behind them after his show on Saturday. Stay tuned...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

She's Everything????

The Urban Myths mailbox had a lovely surprise in it today from an anonymous donor. Thanks so much!!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

They are so happy... everything is just so blissful?

Judging by all the press that has been generated in the last few weeks everything is perfect with the Family Urban. We are glad, aren't we?

Were you worried that Keith and Nicole might have a few problems adjusting to their daughter? I sure did. We have two forty plus year old people and an infant, and you know there might be some issues. Considering neither really has any experience with babies there just might be a troublesome moment or two, but it seems that all is well down on the farm and we can't be happier.

Aren't they handling it well? Nicole looks so rested and relaxed in all those pictures we see of her out and about. Apparently over the weekend she was out again with "friends" in Nashville while Keith was off at work, slaving away on stage in Boston. Daddy too looks like he hasn't aged at all. His smile, his demeanor, his comments to the press about late nights and changing diapers. Fatherhood agrees with him doesn't it?

It looks like the family Urban will be traveling overseas soon as Mommy must go back to work. Seems that there will be pesky re-shoots on the epic movie and Mommy must be there to do all she can for the cause. Also a trip back to Australia to see Grammy and Grampy Kidman and Auntie Antonia will warrant a slew of pictures. Or, not. There probably will be a few minutes to meet the other side of the family, too, if time allows. But during the next few weeks the focus will continue to be on the new Mommy and her career, regardless of anything that might have been happening for Daddy. Such as a very lovely dinner being planned in New York City on November 12, 2008. That is also the night of the most important awards in Country Music but we all know where Daddy will be, don't we? And while there are rumors that Daddy really needs to produce for his record label, instead of spending time writing recording and doing all that is necessary for Daddy's career, Daddy will be in Sydney and London and anywhere but where he should be. But that is what one gets when they are in the happiest family on earth.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

When The Cat is Away....

We have no pictures, but yet again she is reported to be out and about, when Keith was in Boston...

The new mother has been recently spotted at Starbucks here in Nashville with hubby Keith Urban, but Saturday night Nicole Kidman stepped out for dinner with a group of lady friends.

The actress dined at Lime with a group of seven women. She munched on the caviche and shared several other plates, with her pals.

Steph spies say Nicole looked “very elegant.” Some blogs are reporting that the couple is leaving Nashville for LA. I hope this wasn’t a goodbye party.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I Don't Want to See Your Kid, Nicole!

Thatʼs right; I have no interest in seeing young Sunday Rose Urban. I don't care what she looks like. I don't want to see her getting committed to Jesus. I don't care if she looks like Kidman or Keith or her real mother. Nope. I hate babies, is that what you think?

Actually I don't. I am quite fond of the little darlings. What I don't like is when a celebrity takes the natural curiosity about a baby that most people have and exploits that into some bigger thing that is all about the celebrity. Kidman is doing that with Sunday Rose. How is she doing that? By not showing her, by not really acknowledging her, and there have been no statements from Kidman, all have come from Keith. Nicole has said nothing about the baby publicly. What this does is create a frenzy of curiosity about the issue. What is a tad bit different in this whole thing is that the frenzy isn't really about seeing the baby itʼs about the mother.

Does Kidman look like she has a baby? Kidman is wearing tight white pants right after giving birth? What happened to her boobs? Breastfeeding? Is she suffering from postpartum depression? What happened to her hair? Why are she and Keith going to movies with a new baby at home? Why was she having lunch, going to yoga, and shopping while the baby that she wanted so much was left at home? Yes, dear reader, it has turned in to being all about Nicole. That, of course, was what this was all about. It had nothing to do with two people wanting to bring a child into a happy marriage. It was about NICOLE KIDMAN having a baby at this late date in her reproductive years. It didn't matter that her husband expressed his doubts about a child so soon into his recovery. It didn't matter that he had a career to try to fix. Nope, it was about NICOLE KIDMAN having a baby.

She had the baby and it wasn't quite as I believe it was supposed to be. She didn't get the headlines, well not for a very long while, actually about six hours then Matty had his little dude. The magazines of Australia would rather talk about those twins that were born in France. Most people said who cares? Even in Nashville there isn't much of a stir. I just bet there was a strategy session about how to make this more of an event. Thatʼs what we are seeing with all the speculation about the public sightings. However, there is one problem; more and more people are now on that ever widening wagon of those who believe that she used a surrogate to have this child, especially after seeing her out and about. For someone who wanted a child as much as she claims, she sure seems bored staying with her for long periods. Guess parenthood isn't what it is cracked up to be, but she already knew that because she tried the mother trip twice before. We are questioning you and talking about you, but thatʼs what you want isnʼt it? Itʼs all about you.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Sex, Babies, Mattresses and Coffee

It has been two weeks since the heavens opened and little Sunday Rose Urban came unto the earth. Since that time we have seen the parents shopping for a mattress and at Starbucks. Nicole, you just aren't pulling this off very well. Keith, baby, we also have some advice for you. Don't associate the young baby with Raining on Sunday. That song is about raw, hot, steamy, all day long sex. Don't tie your sweet baby girl into the lyrics. That is creepy in a very weird way. Secondly, if you are going to talk about her, show off her photo.

Everything you have done in this entire relationship has been about money: the expensive ring that Kidman bought for the engagement; the designer wedding with a price tag of close to a million; expensive trips; and that plane that she owns. Then you have all the real estate. How many mansions is it going to take to admit you don't really have roots anywhere? But one thing to note about the houses is that they are all so big and so isolated that no one is really going to know who is there and for how long. Interesting isn't it? Are you even staying in the same house? It's still all about fame and money. Keith, just like smoking crack, fame and money, while nice to have, are just as much an addiction.

As for London, I am sure they are all going to be living there and getting into the "London Scene". They are such hipsters that Carnaby Street and the punk hangouts might have an allure. But those places, much like Kidman's film career, are gone… never to return. Speaking of gone and never to return - I wonder if come September Kidman will take one long last look at Nashville? There is always hope.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Spinning, Spinning, Spinning...

Are they honorable for not pimping out the baby snaps for millions of dollars? Or are they famewhores for trying to get up to THREE MILLION dollars for little Miss Kidman Urban’s mug on a magazine cover? Before she was born? It all makes for a good detective novel doesn't it? I say “they” because I think Daddy is just as much a part of this as Mommy. I think it’s time to be less giving toward Keith and a little more suspect on his ‘more than willingness to go along with all of this’? What is in it for him? More fame. That is why he is still in this mess, the fame. Don't forget that the man traded up a supermodel for an Academy Award winning "actress". He is not above painting the canvas of his own life with shades of color to have you believe one thing as opposed to another. But if given a choice I would like to believe he is sincere, wouldn't you? So that brings up this question - where is he? We haven't heard of any sightings of him since he was seen buying magazines in a Nashville mall the day before the birth. So where is he? Giving up coffee?

There are two people that Camp Kidman really, really wants you to believe are in Nashville. Bella and Connor Cruise. There was a planted sighting on a Kidman fan board and there was a plant to a Nashville newspaper columnist who isn't that reliable. If they are there, great! Visit Nicole and her new family. If they aren't then well, what can you say? The woman whores out all of her children for public consumption. Show us the baby already...

Monday, July 14, 2008

I had a baby - I did, I did, I did!

Weren't the customers at Bread & Company in Nashville surprised on Friday when in strolled Nicole Kidman and her paid staff for a little chicken salad and to be seen? Yes, it was all about being seen. The spies went out and immediately called People and sure enough Nicole made the usually docile weekend page. Mission accomplished, right? Or not?

Nicole apparently doesn’t realize that many women have had babies. Many of us who have had a baby must call her out for going out to lunch four days after giving birth. Yes, little Sunday appeared, was cleaned up, and taken home in an extremely short amount of time. However, for someone who had such terrible morning sickness, who felt so heavy with child that she wished fireworks would lead her to labor, it seems a tad bit too easy. Who will ever know, as they rented several suites at Baptist hospital in order to bring forth the infant - away from those who may show an interest. The story of this birth has many holes in it, and we may never know the answers but this writer, who for the longest time did believe she was actually pregnant, now believes that Sunday was born on Sunday, July 6, and that she and Keith knew about it when they were out and about that day. Hence the excitement and looking so loved up. For someone who had the trouble she did conceiving, the birth couldn't have been that easy nor the recovery so quick.

As many of you already know Catherine Olim is no longer Kidman's spokesperson. Farewell and a note to anyone who follows in her shoes: Do not ever mess with an employee of Rupert Murdoch. Cindy Adams is a lot of things, but she is also in the Murdoch fold and calling her names isn't very wise... Don't think for a minute that the drinking incident isn't the cause for her departure.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Keith Urban Looks Good in His Shirt!

You may not have noticed but those that handle Keith Urban's career (remember he has one of those) have put out a video for You Look Good in My Shirt. While it’s the standard (yawn) Chris Hicky directed concert video and is of the "original" version of the song, you might also notice something else. The man is looking fairly good. Longer hair, tighter jeans; he has worked out and it shows. Well, it did whenever they shot this. The point is there seems to be an effort to make the man attractive again. Interesting choice of a single and video. Why? To make him a viable artist? To keep him equal with the new pretty boys of country? Or is it to make him popular again, so that he has something to come back to when all this other stuff in his personal life is over? Watch the video, listen to the song think about it; discuss it. We will come back to this topic again.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tennessean Classified Ad

Have you seen this one?

Career Opportunity:

Famous and stunningly beautiful, although slightly frozen, A List actress with Oscar win and several Golden Globe nominations (and her country singer husband) invite applications for flexible and adaptable female to act as a Baby Nanny / Body Guard. Must be willing to re-locate to a Tennessee farm, complete with goats and wild turkeys. Required attributes include:

1. Familiar with the top ten paparazzi photographers and tabloid reporters, including contact numbers; proof that phone numbers are on speed dial on applicant’s cell phone considered an asset.
2. Willing to use bodily force up to and including fisticuffs, kick boxing, eye gouging and ball busting to protect the “privacy” of the employer, if said employer is concerned that her fake persona is being exposed…errhhh…if required to maintain the employer’s “correct image.”
3. Capable of entertaining newborn infant so that A List famous and somewhat bored actress / mother is not required to interact with said infant for up to four months at a time, while preparing for movie roles or promoting perfume or watches or pretty much any product that will keep her famous and in the press.
4. Special request from the country singer husband – must enjoy M&M’s and be willing to work on “special projects” which may require overtime.
5. Must be able to give baby baths and have baby’s father give nanny baths in return.
6. Must be able to bend or stretch to avoid flying objects inside home.
7. Must be able to feed goats.
8. Minimum 1 yr experience in Botox administration as well as post-surgical home care.
9. Cannot be allergic to cigarette smoke, as employer smokes like a chimney.
10. Must have green thumb, in order to tend to employers organic vegetable garden
11. Must have strong stomach, as part of nanny/bodyguard's job will be to view employer when she first arises in the morning.
12. Must be able to juggle two Starbucks cups each and everyday without spilling a drop.
13. Must be willing to lay down their life for the employer, as the employer is "entitled" and deemed "superior" to any other person on the planet.
14. Nanny must be fluent in several languages as may be asked to speak words like concussed.
15. Prefer person who has not seen a film staring Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes or Naomi Watts or just about any actor of the last 50 years who is considered talented.
16. Nanny must know the difference between the wild turkeys of Tennessee and the Wild Turkey kept in the secret private stash in the husband’s suite.
17. Nanny will be terminated with no notice and will be held for libel if they write any personal memoirs of their experience.
18. Must be a Plain Jane, no makeup required.
19. Must have own laptop computer and monitor all hate/worship sites on a daily basis.
20. Must be able to post on all hate sites, ridiculing posters in order to defend honor of employer. 21. Must be able to post on all worship sites to make sure there is no discussion of "taboo" topics. 22. Must be medical, but not very "tasty".
23. Must supply own bubble bath and shea butter.
24. Must be willing to paint employer's toe nails, when husband is out of town.
25. Preference will be given to applicants with banana bread recipes.
26. Must be into threesome's and able to endure 3 hours of sensationalism.
27. Applicants must have a strong working knowledge of goat herding and milking. Possession of a goat cheese recipe an asset.
28. Applicants with past experience combing merkins will get special consideration.
29. Twin sisters under the age of 30 should apply as a team, including pictures and vital statistics.
30. Must be willing to sign confidentiality agreement as drawn up by the lawyers of Tom Cruise.
31. Must not have car sickness, as you will spend many days in the front of a bus (and some nights in the back).
32. Must wear a beige uniform at all times.
33. Must have a great memory to remind the mother the name of her child.
34. Must pretend to love husband's effort at love songs as attempted on his soon-to-be released CD even though said love songs and lullabies suck the big one.

Apply in writing, including height, weight & bust measurements as well as color photo in thong bikini, to:

Hank And Evie Numbnuts
c/o Lesna Sivad's Makinakillin Legal Services
Green Hills, Tennessee

Mail from the Muse

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

You expected a party?

Welcome little Sunday. There, we are being nice. We like your dad a great deal from time to time. Your mother however....

The child has been born and now we will all get comfy and settle down to Sunday Rose Palooza. A whirlwind of PR and photos and stories and everything we don't really need to know about young princess Kidman Urban. Nicole has spawned and now we will be subjected to more inane superficial and unnecessary stories about her first word, first smile, first diaper change, etc. If the baloney over on is any indication we are going to have a special issue devoted to the princess. I mean how many times do we have to listen to Leann Rimes drone on about Kidman and Urban and their magical ability to be good parents? I say let's ask Bella Cruise about Kidman and see what she says. It will come in buckets and it will last for as long as Kidman can push it. That means until Gwen gives birth which will last before the real birth of the year…the Jolie-Pitt twins. Sunday will just be another kid on the block when those two are born and Kidman must know this.

While we are all warm and fuzzy like the hair on Sunday's little head, some things have been brought to our attention that seem to just be a tad bit off with this great story. On Sunday (the day - not the baby), Kidman and Keith were seen at a bookstore at 4:50 PM. Why tell us the exact time? Why not say just before five or late afternoon? Then we had Keith picking up a workout-suited Kidman from the yoga place. Last l checked it is summer, even in Nashville. Why the fall workout wear? Also Keith didn't get stellar reviews on Saturday at the big fest with Kenny. Now many who were there said he was good, yet others said his voice was off, maybe even strained. Why? He hasn't been singing. Whatever could have caused that? And there are a lot of whispers about what was yelled at the couple as they left the show. So were the loved up blurbs a tactic to take the heat off Keith and his performance on Saturday?

Let's look at the birth… When was she born? Why wasn't the hospital named until today? Name a celebrity child and I just bet you can find the time and place of birth. I bet you can even find out how long the baby was… but not with young Sunday. The speculation is continuing about the unusual choice of the name. Grandpa Kidman said he and Grandma suggested it - the Aussie Sunday Reed makes rather an unusual role model for a baby, non? And where were Kidman's PR wonks? The big news was shared by Keith's press people and by daddy himself at his web site .net, not .com. So like everything tied up to these two we get a bunch of unanswered questions about the baby. Why? Like everything else with these two people, and now dragging the baby in, it smacks of being false; of being fake.

But Fame is a mighty drug and it takes more and more to get that fix even when it comes in the form of a little baby.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Do we send a card to the real mother, too?

Nope, we aren’t talking about a surrogate. We are talking fertile sister, hubby and his sperm, and barren Hollyweird actress. This is better than a surrogate. Why? Because there are no pay offs, no bad press later on. Plus Kidman gets to carry to term.

Why are we talking about this today? Because in Ted Casablanca's Awful Truth for July 4, 2008, he states that one rumor that seems to be heading his way by many of her "friends" is that Antonia Kidman donated an egg so Nicole could carry a baby. The egg was mixed with Keith's sperm and so on. This also gives some truth to those pesky rumors about Antonia being the surrogate. Well, while not carrying the fetus, she is the responsible one.

This could very well be true. In the late fall Kidman did a series of interviews about Margot at the Wedding where she droned on about her own relationship with her sister. A little too much at the time, but perhaps in retrospect she was working with her sister on this grand plan; the timing would have been right. Most think the lab work on this little project was done in fall of 2007. Thus the talk about the "close" relationship between the two sisters.

As for the daddy, well he wasn't really needed was he? You wonder sometimes if this is an actual partnership or Keith makes guest appearances for the sake of Kidman and her need to be in the public eye. When he was on the cover of People last fall it was all about Kidman. When he went to the awards in Oz last fall it was all about Kidman. Was he being a good husband for both of those, a paid employee or and equal partner in a big hoax?

I guess we will see what the future brings on that front.

One more thing that you may get with this revelation by Ted is that the questions about Suri Cruise can be put to rest. Yep, Tom is capable, he just needed a fertile being to bring forth his child. Kidman was the incapable party. So all those years of rumors about Tom and his love gun may finally be over.

This answers so many questions for us here at Urban Myths. We don't have to speculate about who did the deed, how it was done or even when. The rubber tummy myth can be laid to rest. This writer believed she was pregnant but knew it wasn’t by the old traditional ways. It even gives Kidman an out as when she screws this relationship up as she did with her other mothering experience; she can say it’s not her kid this time too.