Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Nicole's Biggest Lie of All

When we last left off, we were reading about how Nicole pledged to give up her career or, at least, “slowly dwindle away” for her kids...oops...she meant if she found true love again...remember?

And she sure did try hard to find that lasting love didn’t she?:

Hollywood superstar Nicole Kidman is the latest beauty to fall into the arms of Italian motor racing boss Flavio Briatore. The Stepford Wives star, who was married to Tom Cruise for ten years, set tongues wagging when she was spotted sharing an intimate rendezvous with Briatore over dinner last week.

Hollywood superstar Nicole Kidman is secretly dating New Zealand multi-millionaire Eric Watson. According to reports, the pair have been on a string of dates after meeting in Los Angeles, where Kidman is shooting new movie Bewitched. They were spotted together at the Oscar De La Hoya v Bernard Hopkins boxing fight in Las Vegas last week

Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman has been linked with Elizabeth Hurley's ex-boyfriend Steve Bing by a British newspaper. Kidman and Bing have enjoyed a series of dinner dates in New York. Nicole Kidman and Elizabeth Hurley's ex-boyfriend Steve Bing have fuelled reports they're dating, by passionately kissing across a Los Angeles restaurant table. And now Kidman and billionaire film producer Bing - the father of Hurley's two-year-old baby Damian - have been spotted acting intimately at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills. "Everyone had candles on their tables, but they blew theirs out. It wasn't some little kiss - it was an open-mouthed lip-lock." Neighbors have also seen Bing's car parked outside the apartment Kidman's renting while she films new movie Bewitched.

Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman has slammed reports she is dating millionaire Steve Bing, insisting she is a "single woman". When asked about her relationship with The Polar Express producer Bing, Kidman says, "We are friends."

March 2003 - Intimate Law and Kidman Pictures Published - A worker at the hotel reports, "Jude didn't care who was watching. He only had eyes for Nicole and flirted with her from the minute she arrived. They seemed oblivious to the party going on around them and grew increasingly intimate. They were touching hands, playing with each other's hair, and touching each other under the table."

Oscar winning actress Nicole Kidman has re-ignited speculation she's poised to marry singer Lenny Kravitz - by sporting a huge diamond ring on her wedding finger. The Moulin Rouge star - who's reportedly been dating the rocker since the summer - wore her new accessory at a recent awards ceremony in Hollywood.

Of course, according to her, these are all fabrications made up by tabloids:

Actress Nicole Kidman has inadvertently rubbished reports she's on the verge of marrying rocker Lenny Kravitz, by declaring she's still on the look-out for someone to fall in love with. The Oscar winning beauty - who divorced Tom Cruise in 2001 - insists she's eager to experience marriage again, but hints stories she's in a close relationship with Kravitz are false, because she remains "a woman by myself".

Kidman Attacks Media's Romance Tales - Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman is sick and tired of reading about her supposed boyfriends in newspapers - because she's never actually dated any of them. But Kidman dismisses the gossip as lies, insisting her love life's non-existent in contrast to the character the media have created. She says, "I've been single forever. If I'd truly been with all those men I'd be exhausted.

Or are they?:

The blossoming romance between Nicole Kidman and Lenny Kravitz has been accidentally confirmed - by her ex-husband Tom Cruise. He said, "I'm now with Penelope Cruz and she is with, erm, she is with another." King pressed him by asking, "Who's she with?" prompting Cruise to mumble, "She's with Lenny, Lenny Kravitz. He's a very talented musician."

Nicole Kidman has made it public she's less than pleased with Tom Cruise's loose tongue at the premiere of her new film Cold Mountain. And, when asked about the romance at her Friday night premiere, she insisted the relationship isn't supposed to be public knowledge. She said, "I don't talk about it. I wish he didn't, but he does."

Oops. Damn it Tom!


Ah, Tom Cruise. The love of her life. The man who devastated her by hitting her with divorce papers out of the blue, crushing her fairytale world to pieces. He must have been something:

“What does it matter? It was, I mean, hurt it? I had a life with him. I spent a decade of my life with him...and loved him, still, will always, you know, I mean when you spend that amount of time with someone...(clears throat) they are with you.”

“I've told Tom I will be there for him for the rest of his life, always!”


No wonder she was so hesitant to settle down with all those other men:

“But why would a man want to be with me? I can't help but question people's motives, particularly men's. So many men want a possession or they want to be in a newspaper. Maybe that's misrepresenting some of the men I meet, but a lot of them are like that. But that someone would need a lot of strength to endure the attention of the first few years, and the chances of actually connecting with someone are slim.. It was such an intense love that you go, "Oh, if I ever give that to somebody again, I'm going to be so very careful.”

“I certainly won't be going into a marriage of [such] magnitude, I could never withstand that again.”

"I don't think I will ever put myself up for scrutiny, in terms of a personal relationship, ever again. It's too delicate, too ephemeral, too painful when it fails. So to have it on display terrifies me.”

Makes sense doesn’t it? And who could blame her. But that’s not exactly what she meant:

“I'd just like to meet a normal guy who's not interested in those things at all. That would be lovely. Then you can slip into a more anonymous life.”

“I would love to be married again. I'm still a huge believer in marriage. I like being married and I like having a family. I think there's something lovely about raising a child together.”

“I would get married again if I felt I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that person.”

Not that she is looking for a husband, because:

“I'm not looking. I don't ask men out and I can't be set up with anyone because I can't bear the thought of letting anyone down. I'm certainly not out there looking but I'm waiting, put it that way.”

And then she gave Keith her contact information in January of 2005. And when he did not contact her, she made sure to get hooked up with him through friend Renee Zellweger - then married to Keith’s best friend, Kenny Chesney - and finally got him to go out with her in July of 2005. But of course, in true Kidman fashion:

31 July 2005 - Kidman Spotted Out with Urban
29 July 2005 -Kidman Insists She's "Just Friends" with Urban - While Kidman's day out with Urban has sparked talk of a romance, her representative insists, "They are friends, and no, they are not dating.”
Aug 2005 - “There is no one now. I have an aversion to the idea of dating though. I prefer something more casual.”
“I have not found someone yet.”
25 January 2006 - Kidman Denies Country Singer Romance - Hollywood star Nicole Kidman has laughed off reports she is engaged to country singer Keith Urban, insisting they are simply enjoying a "nice friendship".

So where’d you get that honking ring on your left hand Nicole?


Oh, I see, we had to deny it:

“I don't believe you glance around a room, see someone and say that is going to be your future great love. I've always been painfully shy and guarded so that could never work for me. I need to know the person first. I need to be drawn out and need to draw him out.”

"Unless I'm married again, I'm not discussing. So until I've gotten married to somebody I'm not gonna say anything. I don't mean to be all ridiculous and coy but... I have two kids and I just like to protect that part of my life now 'cause I was in a very public thing for so many years. I couldn't go through that again, put it that way.”

“That’s not something I want to talk about. If I get married, when I get married, then I will talk about it. Until then, you know, when you’re a mother, I think there’s a certain amount of quietness that’s important.”

Or at least until you HAVE to talk about it:

April 2006 - Kidman: "I Still Love Cruise"- Nicole Kidman has poured out her heart about her feelings for ex-husband Tom Cruise, admitting she still loves the movie superstar. The actress says, "He was huge; still is. To me, he was just Tom, this lovely man, but to everybody else, he is huge. But he was lovely to me. And I loved him. I still love him.”

Oops! Here, let me fix this:

May 2006 - Kidman Announces Engagement- Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman is engaged to country music star Keith Urban. Kidman hosted the 30th Anniversary gala for United Nations organization UNIFEM in New York City on Saturday, where she was accompanied by Urban. The Hours star confirmed the engagement to US publication People, admitting Urban was not just her boyfriend saying, "He's actually my fiancĂ©. I wouldn't be bringing my boyfriend (to the event).”

Oh, but wait, wait, wait!!!!! It’s not what it looks like, it’s not!:

Kidman: "Wedding Rumors Complete Nonsense "Kidman's Australian publicist Wendy Day says, "Everything about that story is nonsense. I know of no wedding. I know of no wedding date. I know of no wedding plans.”

Because, we all know she pledged the following:

“I would wait a lifetime for the right man rather than settle.”

“My kids are never going to meet anybody I would be interested in falling in love with until I knew it was serious. And then they’d get to make the decision along with me. I’ve always told them if that person comes along, it’ll be up to the three of us to decide. He’s got to get through three people, not one.”

Really? That is very, very interesting isn’t it?

July 2005 - Began dating Keith
October 2005 - Became engaged to Keith
December 2005 - Keith meets Isabella and Connor for the first time
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, - Nicole with Keith - no kids
February 2006 - Nicole moves in with Keith in Nashville
February school break, Easter, April school break - Nicole with Keith - no kids
June 2006 - marries Keith - Isabella and Connor meet Keith for the second time

But she tried, she really did. In fact, she wanted to spend so much more time with her children...really, she did. She was just so busy. Why she hardly had any time at all what with her busy schedule filming Fur and The invasion back to back, fitting in time for dates with Keith in Nashville, Washington & Connecticut. And when her films finally wrapped up shooting, Keith was on tour and she HAD TO accompany him. Then there was the James Taylor tribute, the Grammy’s, the Oscars. Setting up home in Nashville, acquiring her salon appointments, shopping for blankets at Bed, Bath & Beyond (“It’s my favorite store. It’s so middle-Tennessee!”), finding Yoga classes, riding horses on their ranch (huh?), and, of course, there was that wedding to plan.

“In terms of your life, if you start to exploit it, then what’s real and what’s not? What’s yours and what isn’t?” - Nicole Kidman

That’s a very good question Nicole.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Mr. Nicole Kidman - My Mum is My Publicist

Well, she should be Keith because going through so many interviews in so little time you really have changed.

A faux interview using actual statements from Mr. Urban:

What are Mr. Kidman's interests?

"Reading, going to movies, watching a little TV" - 6/01 & 1/07

What are your priorities?

"My sobriety, my marriage, my career." - 3/07

"What I want to do first is make music- I want to get out there and play" - 1/07

"I am fortunate I am not married and I don't have kids so I can obviously devote a lot of time to what I do without people telling me I am not taking care of business at home" - 8/04

"I like to balance my career and my off stage life" - 11/02

Is fame important?

"I am going to be a f*cking star" - 09/01

"I want to be the guy in the spotlight" - 11/02

"Celebrity is such a fleeting thing. It's better to keep it on the music. The effect of that is what is important not who you slept with last week" - 8/04

"This record is where I am and a reflection of my life" - 9/06

Who are your fans?

"When women like your music it's a great compliment. We are gearing our appeal toward a female audience" - 9/01

"It isn't just women at the shows there are men and young people. It isn't all about women" - 7/05

America or Australia?

"I am hoping to meet a nice American girl and become a US citizen" - 4/01

"I don't feel comfortable talking about the US" - 11/05

"I believe in the idea of America" - 10/06

"I renounced my record contract with EMI Australia. I didn't want any ties to Australia" - 5/4/05

"I struggle with a lot of the realities of being an immigrant living in America. It's a delicate place to be." - 9/06

"America has been very good to us but the home in my heart is Australia" - 3/07

Your inspiration?

"I write a lot in the bath and in the shower. I was asked why not keep a cassette in the bathroom but I had a feeling the muse would be really pissed off at taking all the fun out of it for her" - 7/04

"I don't want to divulge what inspires me to write" - 8/05

"The songs all reflect my life and my relationship" - 9/06

"I think it is better to listen to the songs and draw your own conclusions than to have them spoiled by telling what they are about" - 2/07

The Future?

"I lost my way and my way begins and ends with music" - 8/04

"It just happens that when things start going my way I lose some of my drive. Success is easier." - 5/05

"Its what I do I play music and I love to do it" - 3/07

"I was saved by her love" - 9/01

"I think I have been blessed and God has looked out for me and saved me from myself" - 11/04

"She has saved me I wouldn't be here without her" - 3/07

Addiction and sobriety?

"Every tour bus needs a fully stocked bar" - 11/02

"I wouldn't say I was an addict" - 07/05

"It wasn't one event it was a serious of events over time that was making my life unmanageable" - 1/07

Interesting isn't it? Sound bites or are they? Has Mr. Kidman been too open? Did his fans have a desire or were led to believe they own him? Was he spinning tales to sell CD's? You be the judge. I think when Keith Urban is allowed to talk from the brain and the heart he is interesting. When he is saying what he thinks we want to hear or a sound byte fed to him it becomes obvious he isn't. And for all of these statements at least he is articulate; unlike that woman he married who couldn't put together a string of words long enough to hold anyone’s interest. Poor Keith, I know why you were drinking before rehab - you had no one to talk to.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Nicole Kidman's Lies... Part One

"In terms of your life, if you start to exploit it, then what’s real and what’s not? What’s yours and what isn’t?" - Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman is one of those celebrities that is great at talking the talk. Everything she says sounds good. The problem is that Nicole Kidman is not simply an actress on-camera. Her off-camera persona seems to be scripted as well and over time, there have been many, many inconsistencies and contradictions in her philosophies...and, at times, outright lies. Leading some of us to wonder if Nicole Kidman is a real person, or a character we are supposed to buy into much like the ones she portrays in her films. Because, when a person says one thing, does another, and says something else, one cannot help but wonder.

"I'm not a big fan of the plastic surgery stuff, where it's like, `What is that?' I find that slightly macabre."
"I don't like parties. I don't like all the noise and people coming at you."
"People tell me that I could be earning so much more money, and I could be doing so many more big movies, but I'm not interested in that kind of a career. I don't care about being on top. I don't care about getting the best table in restaurants or being invited to all the premieres."

This must be why she dines at those out-of-the-way places like Mr. Chows & The Polo Lounge where the paps don’t frequent. And all those "private" events in Hollywood such as the Oscars, the Grammys, the CAA parties (a mere three days after her husband got out of rehab no less), and, oh...didn’t you decline a private ceremony for that Australian honor you just received (a year after the fact)?

"Whether I gave a birth to a child or not, is not even an element that exists now. If more are added to the family, more will be, but that is a very personal thing. It isn't anybody else's business"

Hmmm...really? Because you seem to discuss it a lot when asked. And, could you make up your mind, because we’re getting confused...which is it?:

"I'd sit around and say. I want to adopt a child, but I never want a baby in my tummy."
"I’d love to give birth to a baby. I’d really love to."
"I'm not pregnant but I would love to be. That's the kind of thing I hope happens at some stage before I get old."
"I'd love to have a baby. It's always good to have a baby in the house."
Russell Crowe: "Will you carry a baby?" Nicole Kidman: "Yes, I hope so."

The 'Stepford Wives' actress demanded the 60 watt bulbs were swapped for less powerful 40-watt ones, during her stay at the swanky Dorchester hotel, in London, England. Nicole Kidman outraged hotel staff by demanding all the light bulbs in her suite were changed.

"Look, it’s not being a diva at all! I am having a magazine shoot here and we all know that stark light can make you look drained. I am white-skinned enough. It’s not a diva moment, honest. It was in fact the magazine that requested them and not me."

Nice try Nicole. But we know that camera crews bring their own lighting equipment. We also know that when they take pictures or do interviews in hotel suites, they use ONE of the rooms. So, tell me, why did ALL the light bulbs in ALL the rooms of your suite have to be changed?

"I don’t mind signing a few autographs or taking a picture."

From a blogger who bumped into Nicole & Keith at Starbucks in Nashville: This guy starts to make small talk to Keith, tells him he enjoys his music. Keith is talking back to him, says he was very nice. Next thing you know, this guy feels hands firmly grasping his shoulders and he is being physically turned around. It was Nikkers! She then announces to him "We are NOT signing autographs this morning!" He then heard Nicole say something along the lines of "don't encourage them to speak to us."

And remember the footage of the movie outing with her bodyguard?: "Go away, you’re scaring me."

"I'm quiet and private. I'm incredibly careful, and I have to be."
"I like to keep my life quiet and simple."
"Now I don’t tell anybody where I go or what I do, because it just gets publicized"

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have confirmed media reports they have returned home to Australia to marry. "We are very happy to be back in Australia. We have come home to celebrate our wedding with our family and friends."

Geez, and I almost bought it! I guess this is more accurate:

"I am someone who likes to put her cards on the table. I like to be able to talk to people about who I am, what I am, what I experience. I like to be very open and free about all parts of my life."

"I have moved to Nashville for my private life."
"I love it here (Nash). Things are very nice for me here."

Yes, Nicole loves it in Nashville. No more Hollywood high life for her. She’s now a down-home country gal who cannot wait to purchase a farm and a goat in her new found quaint little home - where her private life is. So why hasn’t she been there since October of 2006? Interestingly enough, almost immediately after the newlyweds arrived back in Nashville from the "low-key trip to Australia" and their private honeymoon, she was soon jaunting off overseas for other commitments. Those commitments, by the way, she was supposed to be giving up if she ever found her true love again. Since then, it appears her private life has been back in LA with the exception of one - count it - one trip to attend a hockey game in April. And now it’s off to Australia to film her epic for 6-8 months.

But I digress, there was that nasty little report from the porn star who claimed to boink her husband during their engagement. And then, less than four months into the marriage, Keith ended up in rehab. And stayed there for three months. During which time, another little nasty report from Amanda Wyatt caused quite a stir. But through it all, Nicole was a trooper. Determined to "stand by her man" she did not dump him, did not serve him well-deserved divorce papers. She vowed she would support him through this and they would put it behind them. And support him she did. Immediately following Keith’s entry into the Betty Ford Center, Nicole was seen all over LA out drinking with friends, attending movies with her bodyguard, attending yoga classes. No, not seeing her children, BUT, she did visit Keith three times. Three times in three months. Wow. Why she even cancelled some of her commitments for Fur to support her new husband:

October 2006 - Kidman Cancels Publicity Appearances To Support Husband

Or did she?

September 2006 - "We were trying to move my shooting schedule around so I could be in New York in time. However, I have to shoot that day (in London) and it proved to be impossible for production to make it happen," she says in a statement.
And who could forget that fancy UN title she took on in January 2006. SHE telephoned the UN & asked what she could do. Yes, SHE wanted it. And what has she done with the fancy title? Well, when she took on the role of the UN Ambassador, there was plenty planned but since January 2006, despite all of the talked about trips to countries all over the world, Nicole has done two - count ‘em, two things for the UN. The now infamous "bongo party" in April, and her trip to Kosovo in October.
And what about that horrific car accident while doing re-shoots for The Invasion? Whew, she was lucky to be alive! Not a single media outlet missed out on that publicity. Not only were we treated to video footage, we also found out, thank goodness, that Nicole was fine. Despite her reluctance to go to the hospital, she did...she had to...and was released two hours later with a clean bill of health. Not only was she fine, but again, a real trooper. She was back to work in no time, even photographed jogging with her trainer just a mere few days after the accident. Imagine the shock when, during a sound check (that was not supposed to be heard) for a satellite broadcast in which Nicole was speaking for a UN gig, that she was overheard saying that she had actually suffered broken ribs, I mean, well, they think, they weren’t sure, maybe broken, maybe fractured? But anyway, that’s why no visits to Keith for Valentine’s Day in Canada or being able to be in NY for this particular UN gig. Because she couldn’t possibly fly with broken or fractured ribs. Now, call me crazy, but, even though you can suffer injuries that may go unnoticed after an accident like that, wouldn’t you think eventually you would start feeling some kind of pain or discomfort within days and head right back to the doctor?...because, of course, any doctor worth his medical license would tell someone this is a distinct possibility. So again, I am confused. Tell me Nicole, how is it you went for a month without knowing something was wrong with your ribs?
"I said there is less attention. I didn't say there is no attention. But I refuse to get into a state of exclusiveness. I take the children to movies and out to dinners. I try to give them as normal a life as possible."

Huh? But I thought she was fiercely protective of her children and went to great lengths to keep them out of the public eye? Isn’t that why we haven’t seen many pictures of her spending time with them?
"I try to live as an example to my kids, which is why I’m pretty traditional."

Yes, smoking, drinking, partying, going out to strip clubs, films such as Eyes Wide Shut, Birth, Fur, all of which Nicole appears naked and having sex. Those are great "traditional" examples you are setting for your children.

Oh, and speaking of the children:

"I'm going to take care of them and myself. I'd give up anything for them."

Kidman Turns Down Part For Her Kids - "I can’t do a film at this stage in my life. My priority was to spend time with my family - my children - and I just wasn’t in a position to work."
"The children are my priority. I take them around with me - movies or baseball games - and that's no so appealing for any new man on the scene, is it? I know what my true love is, because I have my children."

Nicole Kidman is taking a lengthy break from Hollywood to spend time with her children. Kidman says, "You won't see me for a long time. It could be a year, it could be two. I'm not going to give you my holiday schedule, but there'll be a few. It'll be a while before I come back."

"I'm at a time of my life now where ... for me to want to go back and work, it'd have to be something that I really feel passionately about."

Funny. No sooner did she say this than her film credits started racking up at light speed: Fur, Happy Feet, Margot at the Wedding, The Invasion, His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass, Australia, and Need (2008). Could this be the reason?:

January 2003 - Kidman: Successful Because She’s Single - "I spent 11 years of my life dedicated to something else, really. I was dedicated to my relationship rather than to work. It wasn't even a choice, it was just what it was - that was where my passion was. And now I've come out of that. There's so much in me that I want to say, that I feel, that I have existing inside me, and it's coming out. And there's a way in which I go, well, I don't have anything else in my life...I have my children, but I don't have a relationship. I have this at the moment."

It must be. Because THIS is what she really meant, I’m sure:

Kidman Offers To End Her Career For The Right Man - Nicole Kidman is desperate to find a new lover, but she insists the end of her search will lead to the end of her movie career. The Australian actress fears there won't be enough space in her heart to love both the man of her dreams and her career, so one will have to be sacrificed. "My life doesn't leave me with a lot to give to somebody else. I always said that if I fall deeply in love again I will not be able to continue in this way.""That's why I would need someone to sweep me off my feet - because I probably wouldn't make a choice to give up what I'm doing otherwise."
"I probably won't do this for the rest of my life - there's other things that interest me. I think probably when I fall in love, that's when I'll stop doing as much of this because I'll want to settle down again." Kidman, 35, insists there will be no sudden announcement when she decides to quit - instead she plans to "slowly dwindle away." She adds, "This life is burn-out life in a way. You give so much of yourself and you've got to step away from it at some stage. You can't do it forever and ever."

Would she truly trade her success for lasting love? 'Yes,' she answers without hesitating. 'But I don't see it as trading. I see it as a different stage of life.'

Well, I guess she isn’t planning on settling down. I guess she hasn’t fallen deeply in love yet despite the fact that she got married to Keith in June 2006. And her career is still going strong. Again: Fur, Happy Feet, Margot at the Wedding, The Invasion, His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass, Australia, and has since signed on to shoot Need (2008).

But it doesn’t end here folks. Stay tuned because Nicole’s biggest lie yet is on it’s way.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

So, What Does Nicole Kidman Get Out Of This Deal Anyway?

Keith Urban may have needed to up his profile to garner more success in his home country, Australia. What better way to do that than to marry their “Queen?”

But what did Nicole Kidman have to gain from a contract marriage? Wasn’t she already at the top of her game? An Oscar-winning, A-List actress who seems far from out-of-work by Hollywood’s standards. It would appear, on the surface, that Nicole Kidman had it all. And she did. Up until 2001.

Beginning in 1991, Nicole’s life became the stuff dreams are made of. Her marriage to A-Lister Tom Cruise made her one-half of one of Hollywood’s hottest couples. A marriage that was happy, successful, with two beautiful children. She was young, naturally beautiful, rich, powerful, part of Hollywood’s elite. Had hit after hit at the box office. Was consistently nominated for various awards, even won a few. Became high in demand, as did the salaries she began commanding.

You see ladies and gentlemen, Keith Urban is not Nicole’s first fairytale. The problem with fairytales, however, is that they usually turn out to be too good to be true. And then they end.

And hers did. In 2001 Tom Cruise divorced Nicole Kidman. And her life hasn’t been the stuff dreams are made of since.

Because you see, image is everything in Hollywood. There is a reason it is often referred to as LaLa Land. It is a superficial place full of superficial people. So, image, or, what the public perceives, is as crucial to a celebrity as the box office bottom line. We live in a society that puts celebrities up on a pedestal. The higher the pedestal, the more important the celebrity. The more important the celebrity, the better for the celebrity. And we seem much, much more concerned with the person behind the celebrity, than their talent or work. For this reason, we have an insatiable need to know. And the celebrity’s personal and private life becomes the topic of many more conversations than their latest hit. Therefore, the person (image) that a celebrity projects is critical for their success. They have to look good. They have to be talked about. They have to keep their names and faces out there. Or they will be forgotten. And Hollywood is fickle. Aside from her Oscar win for The Hours, Nicole wasn’t looking so good.

October 2002 - Nicole and Naomi Frequenting Strip Joints
November 2002 - Breakup Was My Fault Reveals Kidman
December 2002 - Kidman Still In Love With Tom Cruise
December 2002 - Kidman Still Holding Out For Tom?
January 2003 - Legal Blonde Tops Poll - Sweet Home Alabama star Reese Witherspoon is the most popular actress in Hollywood.
January 2003 - Friends Concerned For Workaholic Kidman - "Nicole's gone from strength to strength since she split from Tom Cruise, but there's a great pressure to maintain her success. She's been working tirelessly to promote her movie The Hours and there's a worry that if she doesn't get the recognition she deserves.....she will take it very badly." Kidman herself admitted that she feared directors would forget all about her after ending her marriage to the Minority Report star.
January 2003 - Kidman Caught Red-Handed - Onlookers at this years Golden Globes were stunned by the appearance of Nicole Kidman’s bright red hands
March 2003 - Nicole Kidman Banned From Russell Crowe’s Wedding
May 2003 - Kidman’s Puffing Has Anti-Smokers Fuming
July 2003 - Kidman and Nicholson’s Hotel Complaints
August 2003 - Nicole Kidman’s Wild Night Out
August 2003 - Cameron Diaz Looks To Stay On As Top Earner
August 2003 - Shock Over Thin Nicole
December 2003 - Nicole Faces Heartbreak As Lenny Affair Is Confirmed
January 2004 - Nicole’s Controversial Gift - Oscar-winner Nicole Kidman is at the centre of an advertising storm, after she was photographed with rival products to the Chanel brand she endorses.
January 2004 - Nicole Kidman Annoys Chanel Bosses For Third Time
February 2004 - Glamorous Kidman Stopped Cold Mountain Oscars? - Nicole Kidman’s glamorous appearance in American Civil War film Cold Mountain has been blamed for the movie's lack of Oscar success.
February 2004 - Kidman Too Old For Movie
May 2004 - Stepford Wives Hits More Trouble
June 2004 - Kidman and Midler Deny Diva Antics
June 2004 - Kidman Slams Eating Disorder Rumors
June 2004 - Broderick Admits Stepford Tension
June 2004 - Kidman’s Kissing Scene With Boy Sparks Outrage
August 2004 - Cruise Says No To Nicole Reunion, But They’ll Always Be Close
August 2004 - Zeta-Jones and Kidman Snub Red Carpet Job
September 2004 - Bacall Disses Kidman’s Legend Tag - During an interview on British TV show GMTV yesterday morning, Bacall, 79, became irritated when the 37-year-old Oscar winner was described as "a legend". Cutting off interviewer Jenni Falconer in mid-sentence, Bacall blurted, "She's not a legend. She's a beginner.”
December 2004 - Roberts Is Still Highest Paid Actress
December 2004 - Kidman Quits The Producers
January 2005 - Kidman Takes Minimum Wage For Eucalyptus - When asked about her salary for Eucalyptus, she snapped, "(Salary stories are) intrusive. Do you ask your neighbor what are they earning for their job? Why should I have to put up with it?"
January 2005 - Kidman’s Dad Goes Public About His Daughter’s Privacy Hell
February 2005 - Kidman Blasts Lagerfeld Comments - Hollywood beauty Nicole Kidman has laughed off fashion guru Karl Lagerfeld’s harsh comments about her looks as "impossible". The acclaimed designer was quoted in the British press claiming Kidman wears "bizarre body make-up" and is a false beauty.”
March 2005 - Kidman’s Stepford Wives Hell
April 2005 - Kidman Loses Her Rich Crown
June 2005 - Kidman Attacks Snapper On Red Carpet
July 2005 - Kidman Ditched From Fleiss Movie

January 2006 - Nanny Exposes Cruise and Kidman Family Secrets
May 2006 - $25-Million Stars Taking Salary Cuts - Salaries paid to top movie stars are coming down, according to Entertainment Weekly magazine, which cites a number of prominent studio execs. Among those who now find it difficult getting producers to consider their $25-million asking price is Jim Arrey, Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell and Eddie Murphy the magazine reported. Those salaries can not be justified by the box-office performances of their recent films, the magazine observed.
May 2006 - Kidman: I Still Love Cruise

So, what is a perpetually unlucky-in-love, aging, over-botoxed, box office bomb actress in fear of losing her career (life) to do? How about create another fairytale? It worked before right?

Enter Keith Urban. Gorgeous, top-of-his-game, fast approaching super country music stardom. Respected and admired for his incredible guitar playing talent, lusted after by women everywhere.

May 2006 - Kidman Announces Engagement
June 2006 - Kidman & Urban confirm Marriage Plans

What did this do for Nicole? She got herself back in the tabloids. She got people interested and talking about her again. She got back out into the spotlight with some GOOD press. And it worked like a charm. The Aussie Power Couple gave back to Nicole the very thing that she had lost when her first fairytale Prince dumped her. She was once again someone to be envied, someone who was seen as desirable, lovable, and in demand.

Google hits for Nicole have never been higher. Her presence in the all the tabloids worldwide has been consistent on a weekly basis. From pregnancy rumors, to her UN Ambassador role, front row seats at Hollywood’s most esteemed events, movie deals lined up for the next two years. Why, even her husband’s cheating scandals and 3 month stint in rehab just a mere 4 months after their marriage didn’t stop her on a dime as she proclaimed to the press that she was “standing by her man”. Aw, that Nicole. So in love, so determined to make this work, so strong, so brave.

Why, she is just extraordinary isn’t she?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Nicole Kidman - Just Wants to be a Tabloid Whore

To the tune of The Cover of Rolling Stone..

I am an Oscar winner
and a sullied sinner
who thinks I am loved everywhere I go

I make the kind of movies
no one wants to see
at more than six million a throw

I am afraid to grow old
and I am still trying to be sold
but my celebrity is coming to an end
and so I'll place my last bet
yeah I am all set
to become a tabloid whore

tabloid whore
gonna see my picture on every cover
doesn't matter if I am not a good mother
can't wait to see my smiling face
cause I am nothing but a tabloid whore

my true love’s new old lady
is sad sack Katie
and I know what she is going through
I got a new husband who was a hottie
til he got involved with me
now I live my life for a photo op
and I get mad if that gets blown
cause without those pictures
I am without a future
and I can't be a tabloid whore

tabloid whore
gotta see my picture
gonna read about my behavior
going to be famous forever
as a tabloid whore

I gotta a lotta fans who believe anything I say
and with my checkbook always open
I can always have a "friend" to pay
its sad I am near 40
and all that is my glory is a career that it looks like I have blown
but its all gonna be worth it
cause you love me all over the earth
cause I am nothing but a tabloid whore

tabloid whore
everyone envied my wedding
Keith is never going to leave me
I can't wait for an exclusive
cause I am nothing but a tabloid whore
nothing but a tabloid whore

wait why is Reese on the cover
tabloid whore
not Paris or Britney but Nicole
Nicole Kidman
tabloid whore

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Nicole Kidman: It's almost like a song

Before I begin, here are some definitions:

Narcissism - Undue dwelling on one's self or attainments
Anorexia - a serious disorder in eating behavior marked especially by a fear of gaining weight
Aging - to grow old or cause to grow old
Arrangement - to come to an agreement
Marriage - a close union
Savior - one who saves
Performance - a public presentation

"And every step along the highway of your life
I'll be the man standin’ beside you, believe me that I will
don't forget you came and saved me, you saved my life"
- Keith Urban, 2006

Those lyrics are from a song on Keith's Love Pain and the Whole Crazy Thing CD. It also could be from any of the PR Keith has done in the last four weeks. Why the desire to keep feeding the frenzy that these two people are so mad about one another? They got married. Wasn't that enough?

They apparently spend time with one another - we have seen happy pictures from St. Bart's, L.A. and Nashville. Yet, we still see the hand holding and the freeze face smiles on a regular basis in the tabloids. What is the point? Is it simply the narcissistic fervor of an aging performer afraid of the future?

Why keep telling the world that one of the partners is a savior? Is there an arrangement? Why does one of the partners look more and more like another famous Nicole - Nicole Richie. Look at the Easter Sunday pictures from Australia, notice her hands. The bones are showing. The woman appears to be unhealthy. More and more it appears that this marriage isn't about love, it’s about keeping up appearances. We hear Keith over and over again tell the world how much this woman means to him. But does he mean it?

Is Keith simply just regurgitating his own song lyrics? Why? Is something wrong with Nicole Kidman? Look at pictures of her from early in her career, even when she was with her first husband. You see a woman who many considered to be a real beauty. She looked healthy and happy. Does she look happy now, or is she simply acting? Is her public performance part of an arrangement, and these two people are married in name only? Like the song lyrics that Keith repeats over and over as his public declarations of his commitment and his public joy in having her, it's the same pictures over and over, the same hand holding, the same fake smiles.

The public outings like the one in Nashville at the hockey game are set up to get that picture in People.Com. They didn't stay at that hockey game for more than 90 minutes. Keith did something on his own earlier in the day and talked about how music saved him, gave a heartfelt speech, and seemed sincere in what he was saying. It was nice to see that Keith Urban. But it wasn't to last. Just like on November 16, 2005, one day after Keith won Entertainer of the Year at the CMA's, the first real couple pictures appeared in People.com. The world was reminded who he is shackled to once again by the shots in People.com. Kidman has been working the social scene in LA dragging Keith to power lunches, making a point of showing her mothering skills by being seen at an event with her children or sticking her gas-bloated stomach out at a certain angle.

This woman seems desperate for attention and this relationship is nothing more than a way to keep her face in the tabloids as her career is starting to dwindle and it just seems to be getting worse.

"I know you have heard this all before
but you're the one that I adore
cause you make me shine just like the sun"
- Keith Urban 1999

That song was about another woman. A woman that Urban claimed saved him. Is Keith simply performing again? I think so. What do you think?

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

An Open Letter to Nicole Kidman

Dear Nic,

We aren't that stupid

one photo does not confirm motherhood...

a happy marriage...

or residency.....


The Skeptics

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Let's Welcome Nicole into our Urban Family!

She chose him at G’day LA. She pursued him all over America. She made him feel that there was no other woman besides herself. She gave him world wide fame. She brought the spotlight to Nashville. She helped expose all that too many were keeping secret. Finally, by his own admission she saved his life… I think it is safe to say that Nicole Kidman is part of our Urban family.

As a magazine editor and well known poster on every Keith Urban board known to man, I want to thank the folks here at Urban Myths for allowing me to ask all of your readers to contribute to a special project.

It is my belief that we need to show our love and support for this very special marriage by giving Nicole something she wants. Can you imagine how happy Keith will be when he sees the pleasure in the woman that means everything to him as she receives a gift from his fans? I know that image is in my head and the joy that shows on his face all the time these days could be tripled by our surprise.

This is where I need your help. I believe that all Urban fans throughout the world should join together and buy a unity goat for Nicole for their first anniversary. Can you imagine the smile on Keith's face as he spreads the cheese on a scone for his blushing bride made from the milk of a goat given to him from his fans? Isn't this a lovely way of welcoming Nicole to our family by giving her what she wants? No more paparazzi or fan harassment when Nicole Urban goes to Whole Foods. Why? Because she won't need to. No more trips to Starbucks -- their lattes and other drinks can be made with goat’s milk. No more trips into town from their future farm because the goat can be used for breeding, meat, and even making an adorable sweater for Keith. I think this is an ideal gift and something all us monkeys can get behind. So I am asking all of you to make a contribution to the Getting Nicole's Goat fund.

I am asking for all of you to contribute in one of four ways.

You can donate money in the amounts of $19.99, $20.02, $20.04 or $20.06. These are the years that Keith's solo CD's came out- isn't that cute?

You can raise money by having Keith Urban buckeye sales at local bake sales. I know that most bake sales are for other worthy causes but explain Nicole's desire for a billy and I am sure you can get even more money.

The third way is to sell your Keith Urban scrapbooks on Ebay and send us the money.

And the final way to contribute should be done this week. Go get a big basket -- and it would be best if you wore a bunny suit, but, if you can't that fine, just go door to door and explain why you are collecting money. I just bet your friends and neighbors will be impressed by your love for our couple and will probably give you a lot of money. As you are doing the fundraising mention that people can join the fan club - get their names so Looooook can give you special prizes over at Monkeyville (please note that Keithurban.nut, nor anyone involved with him in any way, is behind this.)

Get your money ready as June is right around the corner. Send the money to me at the following address:

Ms. Rearender
1417 Demon Drive
Nashville, TN 37203

We will send the goat to Nicole on her new movie set.Won't Keith be so happy that we are showing our Urban love?Also, the person who raises the most money will be told when Nicole's new movie will be opening in their town. That makes me want to wear the bunny suit and hop on down the road.

Thanks and lots of monkey-love!!!!