Thursday, April 12, 2007

Nicole Kidman - Just Wants to be a Tabloid Whore

To the tune of The Cover of Rolling Stone..

I am an Oscar winner
and a sullied sinner
who thinks I am loved everywhere I go

I make the kind of movies
no one wants to see
at more than six million a throw

I am afraid to grow old
and I am still trying to be sold
but my celebrity is coming to an end
and so I'll place my last bet
yeah I am all set
to become a tabloid whore

tabloid whore
gonna see my picture on every cover
whore
doesn't matter if I am not a good mother
whore
can't wait to see my smiling face
cause I am nothing but a tabloid whore

my true love’s new old lady
is sad sack Katie
and I know what she is going through
I got a new husband who was a hottie
til he got involved with me
now I live my life for a photo op
and I get mad if that gets blown
cause without those pictures
I am without a future
and I can't be a tabloid whore

tabloid whore
gotta see my picture
whore
gonna read about my behavior
whore
going to be famous forever
as a tabloid whore

I gotta a lotta fans who believe anything I say
and with my checkbook always open
I can always have a "friend" to pay
its sad I am near 40
and all that is my glory is a career that it looks like I have blown
but its all gonna be worth it
cause you love me all over the earth
cause I am nothing but a tabloid whore

tabloid whore
everyone envied my wedding
whore
Keith is never going to leave me
whore
I can't wait for an exclusive
cause I am nothing but a tabloid whore
nothing but a tabloid whore

wait why is Reese on the cover
tabloid whore
not Paris or Britney but Nicole
Nicole Kidman
tabloid whore

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

truer words never spoken

Anonymous said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!1

elmer fudd said...

I think that summarizes everything perfectly - whore is the perfect word to describe old Nic. Be it her acting talent, her maternal skills, her relationships with her girlfriends and men - yep - you said it - whore!

Whoever wrote this deserves a Grammy for their lyric writing skills!

Anonymous said...

WOW WOW WOW ! WELL SAID . FANTASTIC AWSOME

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna git ya'll a mountain dew and a big bag of cheetos for that there purty song. Just as soon as Abner gits his fat hinny outta the double wide and fires up that ol' truck of ours and scoots us on over to the piggly wiggly.

karma said...

To the stupid idiot who keeps redundantly posting THEIR redneck mentality.

Are you the one donating 20 bucks to the poor in claiming to be a charitable person, while mocking who you think is less fortunate?

Ohhh, your the one just claiming to donate/help and really do nothing!

There are millions in this world that would think cheetos and a double wide is pure heaven. Just go ask anyone in a 3rd world country. I can't imagine how you think of them.

Karma's going to be bitchier than you. You know it's always the ignorant people who make such classless blanket statements.

Poor or ignorant? I'd opt to be poor any day, rather than be ignorant like you.

Ignorance is not bliss...It's just ignorance!!

Anonymous said...

So true!
She better keep that checkbook open if she wants ANYONE around her in the future.

Anonymous said...

You'e like school on a Sunday, NO CLASS!


....I'm gonna git ya'll a mountain dew and a big bag of cheetos for that there purty song. Just as soon as Abner gits his fat hinny outta the double wide and fires up that ol' truck of ours and scoots us on over to the piggly wiggly.

April 12, 2007 7:17 PM

Anonymous said...

"You'e like school on a Sunday, NO CLASS!"
------------------

Speaking of NO CLASS....

A) Maybe you should check your work before you post because I couldn't find the word "you'e" in the dictionary

and

B) Maybe the lyric writer has NO CLASS by writing what he/she did. Blatantly calling Nicole a whore in every sense of the word seems to me a lot like defamation of character.

Anonymous said...

"B) Maybe the lyric writer has NO CLASS by writing what he/she did. Blatantly calling Nicole a whore in every sense of the word seems to me a lot like defamation of character."

Actually the lyric writer refers to Nicole as a tabloid whore. You have to take the entire song in context. It is an opinion, not stated as fact. Finally, the truth is an absolute defense to any defamation case.

Anonymous said...

well this here is a mighty fine read. just sittin here enjoying my mountain dew and my super sized bag of cheetohs! yummy!

Anonymous said...

KEITH, put down that bag of cheetos right now!! :)

elmer fudd said...

And start drinking Diet Mountain Dew!

Anonymous said...

Truth?
Nicole never let the truth get in the way of a good tabloid story!
She wouldn't know the truth if it bit her in the ass.

Rusanne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Shouldn't that be a BIG RED SODA and a big bag of CHEETOS???? lol

Anonymous said...

Looks like msknowitallc has found the blog. Hit a nerve did I?

--------------------
Speaking of NO CLASS....

A) Maybe you should check your work before you post because I couldn't find the word "you'e" in the dictionary

and

B) Maybe the lyric writer has NO CLASS by writing what he/she did. Blatantly calling Nicole a whore in every sense of the word seems to me a lot like defamation of character.

April 13, 2007 1:39 PM

Anonymous said...

"Looks like msknowitallc has found the blog. Hit a nerve did I?"
----------------

Oh, you give me FAR too much credit! But thank you, I would love to have mslinda's contacts and history in the music world. Y'all have idea who she really is, do you????

Anonymous said...

A Nashville Kat wannabe?????

Anonymous said...

You're right, mslindac has better grammar than you.
------------------------
Oh, you give me FAR too much credit!
Y'all have idea who she really is, do you????

Anonymous said...

lol! this is pretty much awesome. if i ever got into the music business, i'd have to record this song, and get it nominated for every award show there is. GREAT song. kudos to whoever wrote it =]!

Anonymous said...

Yawn!!

Anonymous said...

My Bologna has a first name it's .....

Anonymous said...

I don't see any difference between these blogs and the tabloids. More publicity for Nicole but the blogs are for free!!!

Urban Myths said...

I don't see any difference between these blogs and the tabloids. More publicity for Nicole but the blogs are for free!!!

The difference between this blog and the tabloids is that this blog shows the Famewhore for who she truly is... unlike the tabs which show her to be a savior, a saint, a queen... she is a famewhore, tabloidwhore, publicitywhore, plain and simple...

Anonymous said...

Plus the fact this blog brings out psychotic stalker bunnies and evil skeptics alike!

Anonymous said...

Urban Myths said...
I don't see any difference between these blogs and the tabloids. More publicity for Nicole but the blogs are for free!!!

The difference between this blog and the tabloids is that this blog shows the Famewhore for who she truly is... unlike the tabs which show her to be a savior, a saint, a queen... she is a famewhore, tabloidwhore, publicitywhore, plain and simple...

April 15, 2007 4:50 PM

AMEN!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

For defamation of character wouldnt Nicole have to actually have some character to start with.This is a great song wish it could be played on the radio.