Last? Yes, for the six of you out there that are still Keith fans, with the exception of a twenty minute set at ten stops on Kenny Chesney's tour this summer, this will be the last time he is seen doing what he at one time said was like breathing for him, playing music. It's not really going to be that much different from the last tour. The same songs, the same prattle, the same dedication to his savior, Nicole Kidman; but wait! there may be something to add to this tour. Nope, I am not talking about Carrie Underwood, a woman who has the stage presence of a glass of milk
Nope this is Baby Tour 08!
Baby Tour 08, you are asking yourself? What do you mean Urban Myths? This tour isn't going to be about the blond divas, it is going to be about Keith Urban, producing the medical miracle that is before us: the impregnation of Nicole Kidman. Can't you see it now? The BSE’s will feature a barrage of inane questions about writing lullabies and how it will change him.
The added plus is that, the miracle gestating one herself, Kidman, will be along for the tour. The former award-winning, now box office poison actress, too delicate to film another flop, has no issues bumping around on a tour bus all over the country. Because this is how she will redeem herself. If you look at articles pre-Christmas Eve about Kidman you will notice none were positive. The reviews were horrid and the tabloids were making fun of her clothes and there was the issue of what her acquired children called her. It was bad for our Nic. Really bad. Then enter the baby. Kidman will spawn and now it is all about her. How she looks, feels, thinks. Forget about her craft. Forget about her past image. Forget about all those rumors about the true state of her marriage to Keith; those rumors about her being unable to have children; those rumors about her being manipulative and controlling and uncaring and cold all fade away; even the rumors about Keith and Carrie. It even circumvented her denying the Morton book, she is too delicate. This is the time for the fans in the United States to show the queen of Oz how much we adore her. As for this writer, I have some tickets for sale if anyone wants them. I can't wait to read all those reviews about how she sat in the crowd and he gave less than a stellar performance with a nauseating dedication.
Keith, what exactly are you getting out of all of this? Oh, yeah, fame!