Dateline: Hollyweird 2/ 27/07
In a nicotine cloud Nicole Mary Kidman Cruise Urban sat and collected her thoughts. As she looked in the mirror she took stock of the last few days.
“I was noticed at the Oscars. But they made fun of me because I got that extra injection. I couldn't hold Naomi's hand enough even though I did try to show everyone she is my bestest friend. I saw the one true love of my life and his child bride. I tried to talk to Meryl but she was busy.
Oprah was too busy talking to him. So I sat on the couch and the only person that came to me to talk was Rupert Murdoch. I am glad I could talk to him because I was able to get a few photographers for next week. I am finally done with my next role and ready for another. My ribs seem to be healed. I guess it all went well except him. He wore the wrong suit Friday night. They made fun of him and in turn me. Me! They asked him about rehab again. Rehab, rehab, rehab! If only they knew the truth about that.
Then he fought with me so that people heard it at the hotel. He went out by himself and was seen so I had to ask Catherine to call Foxy and plant a blog sighting of the two of us together. And now he has moved back to Cowpieville. I am so upset I might have to go have another injection.
I looked great for the Oscars and he wouldn't walk down the damn carpet with me. More about him. He is worried they will ask him about rehab again. I am so sick of it always being about him.”
She took the silver goblet she was drinking from and threw it against the mirror. The mirror broke in a thousand pieces and Nicole started thinking... what does he need most from me in the future? “Well for Oz and Europe he needs me to be the perfect wife. The loving happy wife. Well I can give him that. Oh sweet Jesus, I can give him that in bunches. Those jealous cow fans of his - they hate me and he needs them to buy tickets for his tour. Let me find a way to give them what they want??? Let me go to these fat lady Keith sites. Who are the skeptics? What a bunch of whores this bunch is. He probably did many of them. So let’s see…They never see us kissing. They never see us in a loving embrace. They haven't seen us all over one another. They have never seen him without a shirt. I have a brilliant idea.”
"Yes Catherine, rent me a boat in the French Indies." "Rupie, please can I get those photographers for next weekend. PLEASE?"
"What the hell do you mean you are playing in Nashville and can't leave? Who paid for the surge in your popularity? Who got you all those damn dinners in Hollywood? Hey buddy, Bono wanted to screw me remember. Why do you have to play? Haven't I made sacrifices for you? Humor me! I believe you owe me. Fine, fine, sometime this weekend. Well you better show off that tattoo I gave you. Tom hid his." As she hung up the phone she thought of her true love and asked why is it that people believe his love story and not hers?
Nicole was thinking this to herself when the phone rang. It was Naomi going on about being pregnant again. Oy! I wish I didn't love her so. I need to be with women. That’s right! A big gaggle of girls! We can play and delight in those sunsets on the water. But I also have to show the world how happy I am. Catherine just called and said a major US tabloid was going to talk about us being separated. Well, I will show them. Okay here is my list for photographers. I want at least 150 photos to be ready by Sunday evening.
1. Shots of us kissing - and he better be into it this time
2. Shots of us together- I must remember to be on my good side and remove my hat for those kiss pictures
3. Shots of my body in and out of the ocean- those cows will hate that
4. Him without his shirt on - God I can’t believe his boobs are bigger than mine, but that shows those women he is mine!
5. Which also means we must show my tattooed name on his arm. I still don't know why he didn't put my face there just my name?
6. Hand holding, groping… but I have to do something spectacular.
As she was thinking about this she turned on one her movies… she often found comfort in her old films, today it was To Die For and she was on the scene where she was dancing in the rain to Sweet Home Alabama, it came to her. I have it!!! I can dance like that on the boat that will be sexy and seductive. Maybe he will sprout some wood remembering that woman he liked to eat Reece's pieces with in his bed. I hope they can get that on film. Nicole began to busy herself packing and planning for the big weekend ahead. She made a call and her plane and was ready to go. She will show them who he is married to and that he loves her beyond a doubt. She smiled to herself and flew out the door. Perhaps she over planned but, it seemed that of all the things that she and her husband were accused of not doing for one another she missed one of the most important...
And that is why the weekend pictures didn't turn out the way she planned…