Sunday, September 16, 2007

A letter to Nicole Kidman Cruise Urban

Dear Nicole,

According to Keith, you are going to be on the road with him this November. How sweet. I am so glad that you want to share Keith's stage experience with his fans. I am sure Keith and the band and the crew are so very happy about this. I would like to point out a few things that you might not be aware of, just so you know.

First, your presence creates quite a lot of stir. People come to look at you. They don't really enjoy the show because they are looking for you. Nicole spotting, last done in the states in late 2005, ruined a number of shows for those of us who were there to enjoy Keith and his music.

Mrs. Kidman Cruise Urban, you may not be aware of it, but there are a number of people who are there to see your husband. They aren't there to see you. Does that shock you? I bet dear beautiful, beautiful princess it does, but many people are there to support your husband.

Second, many people on this leg of the tour are there to see the opening act. Yes, Gary Allan has his own fans and will be playing for the first hour. I realize that you have never heard of him, nor will you probably meet him at all on the tour, but Mr. Allan is well known in his own right and deserves to be respected and not subjugated to a mere mention in a review because Nicole was spotted with a snow-cone and her newly large lips turned blue, and she was oh so cute.

Third, what is the real point of coming on the road with Keith Urban? You don't like his music do you? Oh, that’s right he is your husband and you are there to support him. Yeah right. We are savvy enough to know that its time for the Keith and Nicole Love One Another Tour ‘07. Yes, every review, every article will be about seeing Nicole, hearing Keith sing to Nicole, where Nicole sat (generally around the sound board or in the right corner by the stage and she comes in around the third song) and what was she wearing.

I bet People will be there to share the love. But what isn't realized is that when the Missus is along there are lots of hassles. Keith becomes less accessible by spending time with his bride or because her security detail doesn't allow it. Security gets too tight and even opening acts are denied access to backstage areas because the beautiful, beautiful princess is getting her lips injected or whatever it is you do back there.

Finally, and most importantly, Keith does not give good shows when you are there. Just to remind you, I am paying to see him. Not you. Not your marriage, not a dedication. I am paying to see his show, to hear his music. I don't want to lose that connection because he can't get it up enough to do a good show. Look at the Australian shows, Keith really didn't have the interaction nor the joy he usually has at the shows you attended. The audience was treated to spewed crap from Keith about Aussie make-out places and verbiage about Frankie Valli and his music. It becomes all about the relationship and less about the music.

You are as boring as a couple as he is exciting as a performer. Your presence lessens the excitement of seeing Keith. Why is this happening now? Is it because many noticed how Keith was flying back and forth, but yet where the hell where you? Is it because there are rumors that some things are not so perfect with the most boring middle aged couple in the world? Is there going to be an appearance on Oprah? Well, whatever it is, who really cares? It’s not like you have a cute little Suri with you.

I was going to go to Chicago but hearing that you will be there, well, frankly I am not going to waste my money.

Keith, when she is gone I will be back. Until then all of your fans will have to make their choices about what to do with their money. I will spend what I was going to spend to see you and buy Kenny and Garth's new CD's. I don't want to waste my time and money on the world of Keith Urban's personal life and lies.

21 comments:

Perspone said...

This blogger has hit the nail on the head. You know Nicole could support Keith without making an appearance at the shows. I can tell you that the show she attended, that I went too, Keith was so reserved as to be completely unexciting.

Then there is this particular opening act, I really don't thing Gary and his band is going to put up with the crap about not having access to the backstage area. Someone is going to get her feelings hurt, because Gary or someone in his band will say something to inform her that this is not about her. Maybe Gary will be able to pull Keith's head out of her Ass, but I seriously doubt it.

Maybe she's attending these shows because Keith's been away from her influence too long and he's begininng to think for himself a little bit. She's doing it to assert her control over him. To make sure he knows he's nothing without her, because like the blogger said, the reviews are going to be all about her.

maclen said...

I noticed urban just added the ten US dates for Nov. and I know what I'll be looking for is will she use this to diss the premiere of her movie, which comes out Nov 16. Its gotten dismal buzz at the festivals. And the next question is, just how many dates will she actually be at? And will she actually go on "tour" with urban, or is she just going to make a few "appearences". Kidman could care less how her movies do at the box office once they come out, but she is as addicted to making films as urban is addicted to drugs'alcohol. I really dont see her taking too much time before she's back to that make believe world she resides in, no matter what urban might say in an interview... she calls the shots, he doesnt.

banbotox said...

Excellent blog!
I think I might sit out the Keith and Nicole Love Tour '07 leg. It's way to full of things OTHER than Keith's music. Pity...

notachance said...

Maybe it's possible that NK is going on tour BECAUSE of the opening act. Gary ain't afraid of a bottle of JD, and I'm sure NK is aware of this. Last show I went to of Gary's it was passed around on stage like it was water. Gary drank most of it.

Just sayin'....

It's called Reality Folks said...

Well, I think it's rather funny that she may not trust him around his opening act because they know how to party, but yet she sure doesn't have a problem dragging him to all her cocktail parties, with no thought of her loving husband whatsoever.

GO GARY!!!! Have a shot for me!! :) :) :)

cricket said...

Aw crap.Are you sure she's going to be in Chicago.I was planning on buying my ticket tomorrow morning,but there's not much point if The Corpse Bride is going to be there.Thanks for the warning. Might as well not waste the money now.

Urban Myths said...

Cricket, not "sure" she's going to be there, but it came from his mouth that she would be on the road with him in November. In Urbanspeak that could mean one show, two shows, or all of them. I don't think he can keep "their" stories straight from one interview to another... good luck with your show.

banbotox said...

it's called reality folks said
Well, I think it's rather funny that she may not trust him around his opening act because they know how to party, but yet she sure doesn't have a problem dragging him to all her cocktail parties, with no thought of her loving husband whatsoever.

GO GARY!!!! Have a shot for me!! :) :) :)

Me too! So true, she has no problem with him attending HER functions where booze flows freely. Such a concerned wife...

notachance said...

The difference between taking him to her functions where alcohol flows freely and the road where alcohol may be present is that she is with him at her functions and on the road he would be on his own - hence the reason for her possible participation on the next road trip. Not hard to grasp that one.

SSC said...

Great blog! Id love to be a fly on the wall if Pasty Freeze tries to block access to the backstage area from this particular opening act. So, Nicole, your gonna accompany hubby on the tour? Well, aint that special. What do you think is gonna happen out there if you dont grace him with your presence? Afraid he might have a little fun, or maybe actually ENJOY life a bit? With that said, all you folks who thought about seeing Keith on this leg of the tour, Id say save your hard earned cash. As far the "opening act", get out there and show 'em how is REALLY done, cause you dont need that "monkey on your back".

Imahick said...

I just saw him in Vancouver...and the show was very good. I haven't been there when NK was around...but I've heard both good & bad. I think he is obsessed with her...not sure if it's because she requires that degree of adoration or if it's related to his insecurities and neediness.

I agree that she WANTS to get all the attention if she goes on tour with him (and I doubt NK intends to spend more than a couple of days on the bus...no matter how many extra amenities Keith added for his beautiful beautiful princess.)

She isn't going along for Keith's best interests. If she was concerned about his best interests, she would never have expected him to fly back & forth half way round the world to see her every two weeks and would have made an effort herself to fly to see him. If she cared about him, he wouldn't have fallen so far off the wagon to start with. Come on. The man spent 90 days in Rehab less than 4 months after he married her. There IS a connection...I don't care what anyone says.

I don't know what the nature of the relationship is...but I want it separated from his career. I could care less if he is married to her ... as long as I get my $$ worth when I listen to his music or go to a show. But if he can't separate them, and the quality of his show is impacted by her presence, then I don't want her there either.

As far as Gary Allan...I have no problem with Gary partying. But I do hope that Keith can stay away from that. He needs to stay sober...it's a matter of life and death to an alcoholic. I don't think NK is there to keep him off the booze. I heard that it was her who got rid of his "minder" last year...good move, there, NK. No...if she goes...it'll be to prove how supportive she is and how much in love they are. It's all about PR when NK is involved.

doublewide said...

year...good move, there, NK. No...if she goes...it'll be to prove how supportive she is and how much in love they are. It's all about PR when NK is involved.

totally agreel....with her it's all about "look how in love we are"

she doesn't give a flying fig about keith's sobriety, unless it effects her image...

undecided said...

You know, if Nicole was a man, it would be obvious to everyone that she is abusive. She is separating him from his family, friends, from his home and everything familiar, including his sobriety minder. She is purposely making him dependent on her. Just because he says 'she doesn't hit me' doesn't mean she is not abusive emotionally. It makes me sick to my stomach.

Imahick said...

I agree "undecided". I find the whole thing quite obvious and Keith is vulnerable to it. She is calling the shots...no doubt about it.

banbotox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
banbotox said...

I so agree doublewide. Her hidden agenda is so very obvious. Not that hard to grasp either.
Please always remember and never forget-it's all about HER.

hesaweiner said...

She's going to be with him on the road in Nov. because she has to appear with him for the holidays and of course wouldn't miss the opportunity to show up at the awards show for PR.

God, I wish you'd remove those bathing suit pictures. For a person who supposedly works out she sure has the flabbiest inner thighs I've ever seen in my life. It's disgusting.

My 80 year old neighbor has more muscle tone than the ho.

hesaweiner said...

By the way, doesn't anyone else see a future tabloid headline here?

Poor Nicole, her husband who is wasting away her biological clock has been caught partying yet AGAIN with his tours opening act.

Gary is going to be a pawn in their game.

notachance said...

Does anyone really think she'll show up at the CMA's? In an effort to steal any thunder if he wins?

maclen said...

hesaweiner said...
"She's going to be with him on the road in Nov. because she has to appear with him for the holidays and of course wouldn't miss the opportunity to show up at the awards show for PR."

Thats a very observant point, its all about the awards show, and a week after that, her movie comes out... so many opportunities to kill so many birds, as they say.

CJ said...

She won't go out on tour with him. She has too many movies to film out of the country - Australia in Oz, The Reader in Germany, I'd think the 2nd of the 3 His Dark Magisty films in London would be starting soon (unless the first flops so bad they cancel 2 and 3).

She hasn't attend even one country music awards show with or for Keith. She won't show at the CMA's either. It's too far beneath her - even for publicity.