Friday, March 6, 2009

2008 Urban Myths Awards

Yes, dear readers, award season is upon us and for those of us here at UM who would like take a collective look back and see the damage the Kidman Urban union has taken in yet another year...sit back and enjoy…

Most Outrageous Moment

Kidman: Going to the premiere for the epic wearing a see through dress. Yes, she has done it before and it was noted and excused, but this time there was no explanation from Camp Kidman thus it was on purpose and meant to exploit. Except it backfired.

Keith: At another premiere for the epic Keith made a point of showing off his three (four?) inch heels. While we have seen Keith in lifts before, this was a bit too much; and add to that yet another ill-fitted suit and well, the man lost all his appeal.

Best Couple Moment

2008 Oscars - Keith and a "pregnant" Kidman arriving two minutes before the show starts, having an exchange right off the red carpet and later Kidman was seen smoking and drinking backstage. Earlier in the evening Keith was seen eating alone at an LA hotel. We love the happy couple at their best.

Runner up

2008 Australian Open - Kidman and Keith arrive during a match; they sit and proceed to upset people enjoying the match. They were so disrupting that Patrick McEnroe asked during the TV coverage if they were royalty or something. More telling about this appearance was Kidman got up and left and eventually her people went back to the seat to tell Keith they were done with the photo op and he should leave too. But the wrinkles on her forehead proved that she was off the Botox because she was pregnant. This turned out to be one her most popular photo shoots of the year.

Urban Myths Best Writer Award

Nicole Kidman for her journal from the set of the epic. We have never saw that much crap in one place since the last time the circus came to town with the elephants.

Favorite Gossip Site

We love Teddy (Awful Truth) and Entertainment Lawyer (Crazy Days & Nights), and Michael (Dlisted). But, our winner again this year is Elaine Lui of Lainey Gossip. She is witty, knowledgeable and still a fan. Lainey doesn't let anything stop her from getting to the scoop. We wish her more and more success.

Best Blog about Nicole Mary Kidman

Nicole Kidman's Forehead - we applaud Anna and her courage to continue! She has spunk!

Best Use of Paid Employee

The nameless Nanny (and supposedly non-existent one) who takes care of the baby. Whether or not she is the real baby mama, we can only speculate, but by seeing that little girl reaching for her to get away from Kidman; she must be doing something right.

Best Remembrance of Things Past

October 2008, when Keith Urban was sexy again. In New York City for the NFL preseason concert and Fashion Rocks. Keith Urban, all alone, and he took us back a few years when he could do no wrong.

Best Waste of Money

A ticket to the epic

Runner up

Kidman flying all over the world trying to get people to come to the epic.

Special Mention

Nashville is not a big city, but why do the Kidmans need to live in two homes? The big mansion and the farm; perhaps we will elaborate more on that in a later blog.

Best Special Effort

For keeping Kidman’s feet to the fire about the pap beat down and for knowing the truth and using discretion in what he will and won't tell - the fabulous and very hot Ted Casablanca - we love, love, love, that Ted won't let things die!

The Event that Overtook all Others this Year

The pregnancy, birth and exploitation of all things Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Kidman used this event to promote her movie, marriage and life. Kidman and her various size bumps; her workouts and sightings; the days before the "birth" where we had one stupid story after another including the chiggers attack story. And finally the pimping of the baby - be it a prearranged professional picture on Oprah or a casual stroll in Paris at just the right time. The baby is nothing more than a prop and will be used and discarded as such until she can join her brother and sister in freedom from Nicole. Kidman should be ashamed. But it’s Nicole, so consider the source.

Here we go well into 2009, and whatever this year will bring we want to thank all of you who take time out of your busy lives to join us here for all the fun and muck we deal with. Thank you to those of you who comment and email us. Thank you, too, to Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman for being the people that they are; without them this blog wouldn’t exist.

What was your favorite Mr. and Mrs. Urban moment?


maclen said...

"2008 Australian Open - Kidman and Keith arrive during a match; they sit and proceed to upset people enjoying the match. They were so disrupting that Patrick McEnroe asked during the TV coverage if they were royalty or something. More telling about this appearance was Kidman got up and left and eventually her people went back to the seat to tell Keith they were done with the photo op and he should leave too."

Yeah Urban myths..this has got to be my fav moment...Her "two face" tendencies from the reliance on facial procedures always give me a laugh. And to just realize kidman is most certainly oblivious to the apparent evidence of it is also hilarious...Quote: "I am totally natural"... more like in a totally natural denial...makes the mocking that much sweeter...she is the "margaret dumant" to my "Groucho marx"...she is constantly setting me up...

CHOICE said...

Hi Urban Myths
For me, the 2008 highlight was Gran's infamous appearance on David Letterman to promote Australia. Gran was out of it, on another planet. When I first watched it, I thought he was being a little mean, but on second viewing she was just plain annoying! Loved it when Dave made reference to her face:

PS. The didgeridoo playing was a close second for me. Or should I say Didgeridont?

CHOICE said...

Ooops, sorry! Just realised you were asking for Nic/Keith moments. I can't think of any as she prefers the spotlight on her! I guess the Letterman interview is related, because Dave keeps asking about Keith and she gets the shits!

notachance said...

God it's March UM, these really aren't all that relevant anymore.

Tara said...

don't most awards cover a period of time. so yes these are relevant
and funny- thanks Umyths

Anna said...

I am truly humbled and grateful to receive this fantastic award. It's not easy writing a blog about Nicole Kidman and I'd like to take a moment to thank some people who without their support, love and generosity I would never be able to continue my important work.

Firstly thank you to Urban Myths for their undying support, strength and for awarding me this coveted prize. Thank you to all my readers who have stuck with me over the last eighteen months, thank you to the Kidman fans who continue to amaze me with their devotion, showing once again that love IS truly blind.

Thank you to my family who always support me, my friends who continue to help me laugh at life and at blogging and to my children who I love very much, thank you girls for putting up with Mummy's typing all the time.

Lastly I'd like to thank Nicole Kidman, without whom all this would be completely impossible...wouldn't that be nice?

realitycheck said...

That's a awards to things we don't know actually happened.

Lastly I'd like to thank Nicole Kidman, without whom all this would be completely impossible...wouldn't that be nice?

Anna, no one is making you write your blog. You and you alone have made the decision to spend your time doing so.

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Anna said...

realitycheck, I can't be bothered explaining to you for the umpteenth time that what I say is tongue in cheek. You know a joke? hahaha....whatever.
I'm sorry you're not having fun with this, but I am, want to bitch about someone's acceptance speech? Go see Sean Penn, kay?
(besides I thought I was being REAL nice thanking Nic)

hoosierlady said...

Hoosier Favorites

1. Back stage nap shots (remember her checking her watch?)

2. Michael Jackson look a like fashion icon (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery)

3. The entire "anything TC can do I can do better" lifestyle that keeps me so entertained.

I simply can't narrow this down any further.

A440 said...

I love the Nicole has FINALLY learned to loosen up and dress casual! Seeing her various bra and panty sets -- in public, on a red carpet, no less! -- shows me that she's truly a down-home gal who knows how to kick back!

Keith must be so proud...

ShutUpAndSing said...

Let's not forget all to forehead touching shoots. Just warms your heart everytime. non?

Bstnactrs said...

Congrats to Ted & Anna - well deserved!

realitycheck said...

I thought Penn's acceptance speech was great until he hammered his point for a little too long. He needs to take lessons from the screenwriter who wrote "Milk".

The longer this goes on, the more I think you do belong with the skeptic bunch on E!. Good luck with that.

doublewide said...

gotta agree with hoosier......those backstage nap shots were a scream!!! gotta be one of my favs

cricket said...

The yawning backstage and checking her watch pictures were priceless.I did enjoy her making a complete ass of herself on David Letterman too. I guess my favorite Keith moments were whenever he was pictured somewhere with out her.

inittowinit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
maclen said...

As I do get the most kicks out of kidman's and orb's "sports" outings, because as I mentioned the constasts to kidman's revealed actual blotchy skin, ratty hair...and all her "procedures" can be clearly seen in the true light of day outside of all the soft and bright lights of the film studio or redcarpets...the patented inept "photo ops" of a miserable, head bowed down orb dreading having to be paraded and made to jump through hoops by a clearly posing... "stare directly at the paps" PR opportunist huge ass smiling kidman reveals her oh too coniving and calculated stunts, that has audiences avoiding her movies in droves.

maclen said...

doublewide said...
"gotta agree with hoosier......those backstage nap shots were a scream!!! gotta be one of my favs"

Hey doublewide, glad to hear from you! Hope your doing good...

So, just wanted to post this as a heads up to the other "urban mythbusters" out there...noticed this article...

Success of Rabbit Hole leads to eclectic jobs for playwright David Lindsay-Abaire

...And the pertinent bit in it is this one...

Q: "What can you say about the upcoming film of Rabbit Hole?
A: Nicole Kidman is going to star and plans for it are heating up right now. It’s supposed to begin shooting in a few months."

...If true, it certainly gives one pause to her claims of "having other things in her life other than films" and that she "cannot imagine making another film right now" during the failure of Australia. I have no doubt that kidman was totally bummed about her failure in films...and in Australia tanking it in theaters...and I certainly question the upper management at Fox searchlight for even considering coninuing this "production"...especially with kidman, but as I surmissed while kidman was crying her crocodile tears over her wanting nothing to do with film as her epic failure was trashed...I suppose the ink on the contracts were already dried, and wheels set in motion too far to does kidman make another totally worthless piece of "celluloid" for the masses to dispise, or does she simply pass on it...either way, I'll have something to say about here on your favorite blog!

maclen said...

...just a little more late night rambling... so I checked on this Rabbit Hole film version...announced 2 years ago...

..."The play focuses on a couple, Becca and Howie trying to cope with the death of their only child, a four-year-old, in an auto accident, while Becca’s well-meaning mom and off-kilter sister, attempt to lift their spirits (and deal with their own problems), each in her own inimitable way.", this is gonna be, if this film ever see's the light of day...with some mediocre cross between Human Stain and Margot at the Wedding? Kidman plays another "mom" in "despair" or is "traumatized" over her The Others...human stain...The Invasion...and the recent Australia...(kidman trying to get over a "Message"... she LOOOVVESS children...her movie children, that is)...and throw in the "off kilter sister" for the "Margot" added ingrediant for that extra bitter taste! Just as I mentioned that AUstralia was simply a rehash of Cold Mountain...Fur was a slight twist of Birth, jsut swap creepy boy for creepy hairy dude...and if you'll recall, on kidmans long list of possible star/"producing" flicks, there talk of kidman remaking the Colombian horror film "Al final del espectro"...where she plays a woman, who after a personal tragedy, shuts herself in her apartment and begins to see "ghosts" she did in THe Others. Isnt anything she considers at all original? Not that I expect any of these "kidman to produce" films to see any light of day...still the utter lack of originality is what led to her failure in film.

doublewide said...

doing ok,maclen, thanks for asking!