You know this is a fun interview, not a meaning-of-life interview.
I didn't. Good warning.
What the hell are you doing interviewing this woman if you want a fun interview?
There's a scene in "Margot at the Wedding" where you climb a really big tree. Were you scared?
I just loved being up the tree, which I think is probably a metaphor for me because if I can sit up in the clouds I like to stay up there.
OK is it just me, or does this make absolutely no sense? If only the crazy woman had fallen and ended this disaster.
Do you forget your keys?
Wallets, keys, bags, coats. I tend to be a little daydreamy. I'm not a good driver.
Too bad she doesn't drive more....and really fast on twisting winding roads...by herself, mind you.
Do your friends get annoyed when you daydream?
I don't think so. [Pause] I'm terrible for this kind of interview. Vince Vaughn would be funnier, right?
She paused because she couldn't think of any "friends" she may have.
You're doing fine. Try this: what's your husband's best physical feature?
Um, his heart.
OK..that confirms her total idiocy if the only thing she can come up with is his heart. Hell...that's not a part that really even entered my mind.
I think it's his hair.
He has a lot of hair.
That's really digging deep, Nicole.
Who takes longer to do their hair in the morning?
Neither, because we both just have bed hair. I'm very quick. I can get ready in five minutes.
Funny...I think this is the first time I've believed her ... she isn't lying. She has bed head all the time.
Come on. Really?
Yeah, and I'm 20 minutes in the hair and makeup chair. They call me the quickest actress in the business.
I'm sure this is true because she is so natural. Right. Her hair is a complete shambles...and there's not a lot that can be done with plastic skin and lips that are swollen and disfigured. It has to cost a lot in lip color though...and they must have to spend some time covering up the botox injection sites.
You used to be guarded about your personal life, but recently you've opened up more.
Not really. I think it's just the way it's been interpreted. Basically I'm exactly the same. I have a pretty private life. I don't go to the big parties. I have my work and my life and I keep them separate.
What a liar. Yes...she is very private, to the point that we know her obstetrical / gynecological history. We also continue to hear about her marriage and divorce of 6 years ago and her engagement to a man other than her husband...and she never attends parties or premieres. What a private simple down to earth girl she is. Wow!
People seem to relate to you a lot more after your divorce.
I suppose we all want to know we're not alone in the dark places. Name something and I've pretty much been through it, and you just have to put one foot in front of the other and at times you think you're not going to be able to do that, and then somehow you keep walking forward.
OK...now get the violin out for her. She's in her element looking for sympathy. What has she been through? She lost a baby and that's sad, but it happens to many, many women every day. She got divorced...so 50% of marriages end in divorce. What is so terrible about NK's life? She has more $$ than she knows what to do with...two kids who she should have been a mother to...a successful career...but she loves to garner sympathy by trying to portray herself as the eternal victim. I don't understand why people don't see through her.
Are you, like, the queen of Australia?
No, Cate Blanchett is. I'll be the lady in waiting.
Well...this IS an admission...possibly the second accurate thing the woman said in this interview.
Celebrity death match—you or Cate?
I'd vote for Cate. She's amazing.
I'd pay to see this. And Cate would take her hands down. I would love to see Keith there to cheer Cate on too.
This was an actual interview... we just added the commentary. http://www.newsweek.com/id/71001