Sunday, November 18, 2007

Urban Myths Take on a Kidman Interview

You know this is a fun interview, not a meaning-of-life interview.
I didn't. Good warning.

What the hell are you doing interviewing this woman if you want a fun interview?

There's a scene in "Margot at the Wedding" where you climb a really big tree. Were you scared?
I just loved being up the tree, which I think is probably a metaphor for me because if I can sit up in the clouds I like to stay up there.

OK is it just me, or does this make absolutely no sense? If only the crazy woman had fallen and ended this disaster.

Do you forget your keys?
Wallets, keys, bags, coats. I tend to be a little daydreamy. I'm not a good driver.

Too bad she doesn't drive more....and really fast on twisting winding herself, mind you.

Do your friends get annoyed when you daydream?
I don't think so. [Pause] I'm terrible for this kind of interview. Vince Vaughn would be funnier, right?

She paused because she couldn't think of any "friends" she may have.

You're doing fine. Try this: what's your husband's best physical feature?
Um, his heart.

OK..that confirms her total idiocy if the only thing she can come up with is his heart. Hell...that's not a part that really even entered my mind.

I think it's his hair.
He has a lot of hair.

That's really digging deep, Nicole.

Who takes longer to do their hair in the morning?
Neither, because we both just have bed hair. I'm very quick. I can get ready in five minutes.

Funny...I think this is the first time I've believed her ... she isn't lying. She has bed head all the time.

Come on. Really?
Yeah, and I'm 20 minutes in the hair and makeup chair. They call me the quickest actress in the business.

I'm sure this is true because she is so natural. Right. Her hair is a complete shambles...and there's not a lot that can be done with plastic skin and lips that are swollen and disfigured. It has to cost a lot in lip color though...and they must have to spend some time covering up the botox injection sites.

You used to be guarded about your personal life, but recently you've opened up more.
Not really. I think it's just the way it's been interpreted. Basically I'm exactly the same. I have a pretty private life. I don't go to the big parties. I have my work and my life and I keep them separate.

What a liar. Yes...she is very private, to the point that we know her obstetrical / gynecological history. We also continue to hear about her marriage and divorce of 6 years ago and her engagement to a man other than her husband...and she never attends parties or premieres. What a private simple down to earth girl she is. Wow!

People seem to relate to you a lot more after your divorce.
I suppose we all want to know we're not alone in the dark places. Name something and I've pretty much been through it, and you just have to put one foot in front of the other and at times you think you're not going to be able to do that, and then somehow you keep walking forward. get the violin out for her. She's in her element looking for sympathy. What has she been through? She lost a baby and that's sad, but it happens to many, many women every day. She got 50% of marriages end in divorce. What is so terrible about NK's life? She has more $$ than she knows what to do with...two kids who she should have been a mother to...a successful career...but she loves to garner sympathy by trying to portray herself as the eternal victim. I don't understand why people don't see through her.

Are you, like, the queen of Australia?
No, Cate Blanchett is. I'll be the lady in waiting.

Well...this IS an admission...possibly the second accurate thing the woman said in this interview.

Celebrity death match—you or Cate?
I'd vote for Cate. She's amazing.

I'd pay to see this. And Cate would take her hands down. I would love to see Keith there to cheer Cate on too.

This was an actual interview... we just added the commentary.


maclen said...

Boy, now this is the perfect example of a kidman interview... take this one quote..."I just loved being up the tree, which I think is probably a metaphor for me because if I can sit up in the clouds I like to stay up there."... wonder if that is a typo, or did she actually say it like that... and the interviewer is a perfect match for kidman... frivolous, flighty, dopey, and painfully stiff and humorless..

maclen said...

...oh yeah, i almost forgot, that new pic on the top right, from the newsweek article, but seriously, who else agrees with me that with those overblown and puffier lips, she kind of looks like the don knotts fish character in the old film The Incredible Mr. Limpet?

copy and paste link, to see

notachance said...

Some needs to get her some earplugs so she starts retaining something in that thing called a brain.

Did Keith really marry this? I can't believe they can actually hold an intelligent conversation - or does he just like the bone-crunching sex?

don't believe the lies said...

Does anything worth wild ever come out of her mouth? She comes across like a complete moron. I too can't believe Keith married this...for several reasons. Too many to even list here. Oh and the thought of them having sex makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

CJ said...

Did she really admit she forgets her "wallets, keys, bags, coats" in a national magazine? (Granted, not one people would expect to see an interview from her in but still wildly circulated.) The brain training people she did the commercials for must be birthing a cow (or a goat) over that. Hope they weren't ever planning on running her ads in the US because their product obviously doesn't work.

I know a lot of creative people are ditsy, unpractical, and can't rationalize their way out of a wet paper bag. One of the things I always admired about Keith (well, the old, pre-Nic Keith) was he didn't come across that way. He genuinely seemed to have a good head on his shoulders and a good head for business even without any degrees. How can he put up with such irresponsible behavior from his wife? Luckily she doesn't have to pay the bills or he'd come home to a powerless house with no gas or cable because she forgot to mail all the payments.

Maybe she didn't really have miscarriages after all. That's just the story she started telling because she didn't want everyone to know she left the baby/babies somewhere and can't remember where.

Poor Keith, such high consequences for foolish behavior after a night of too much heavy drinking. He must be so proud.

banbotox said...

cj said...
Maybe she didn't really have miscarriages after all. That's just the story she started telling because she didn't want everyone to know she left the baby/babies somewhere and can't remember where.

cj that is hysterical!
What an airhead! Who talks like this?? Does she ever read the stuff that is printed in her interviews? I wish she'd climb up into the clouds and drift far away-forever.

Yep maclen-The Ridiculous Ms. Limpet for sure.

Tom was a lucky many to get away from this bimbo.

notachance said...

Well, if you recall the "brain training" commercial only showed her doing "Rock, paper, scissors" - no real math or anything like that. And even with the "rock, paper, scissors" she was struggling.

I think Chanel is about the only endorsement deal that was allowed to be shown in the US. All others have been for other markets.

cricket said...

God,she is a complete waste of air and space. What a moron.You could probably get more intelligent conversation talking to the puffer fish that she resembles.

Anna said...

She forgot to say she's so absent minded she doesn't realise she's wearing the same dress three days in a row.

notachance said...

Saw this morn that little miss i forgot my name testified yesterday in Sydney about how terrible the papparazzi is. Irony is that the paps hounded her on the way in and on the way out. Funny that she hasn't forgotten how to notify the paps, isn't it?

Apparently George Clooney had is fill yesterday too.....

maclen said...

Yeah notachance, over at Kidmans Forhead, Anna has the on going story...and as I commented over there, she seems to have gotten tangled in her own PR wrangling. The papparat, Fawcett, got a ruling from the court that a aussie newspaper defamed him, with info apparently provided by kidman. Thats why she appreared in court, to help defend the paper. It seems when you do alot of whining about how things arent going so great for you, you sort of karmically bring even more trouble upon yourself.

bstnactrs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bstnactrs said...

maclen said:

take this one quote..."I just loved being up the tree, which I think is probably a metaphor for me because if I can sit up in the clouds I like to stay up there."... wonder if that is a typo, or did she actually say it like that...
I would wager that this is, in fact, a direct quote from her.

I really think this is why she doesn't stop working for a second...b/c she has no idea who she is, what to say or do or how the world works without a script.

She really is disconnected from reality. And it is b/c she doesn't live in her own for more than a few hours at a time.

It is so obvious when she opens her mouth that she has absolutely no concept of the real world the rest of us live in. None whatsoever.

maclen said...

Well, bstnactrs, it is the reason she will not be responsible for a hit or successful movie. It is her shallow, one dimensional persona that people recognize as not being very credible. She is a creature created by the celebrity cookie stamping hollywood industry, who does not step away from the usual tired and overdone one two step of personal shilling. The same magazine interviews and interviewers who act like whatever she says is brand new revelations...Tv show interviews that are so incoherant as the be totally forgettable. I competely expect next years round of PR tales to be.... more trauma of split with cruise... She wants to have a baby, she's about to set up house with urban... and all between making or releasing 3 more movies...which is her life really,.. filming movies, releasing movies and talking about things she wants to do, but hasnt yet done.