Monday, May 12, 2008

The Urban Myths Recommended Book Shopping List!

Since it seems that Keith and his wife were out shopping for books on Mother's Day, we would like to add a few more to their reading list.

These essential selections are from a few lesser known authors but the information that they contain is priceless for the expectant parents. We're sure that with a little searching, their people will be able to find these titles and get them in the power couple's hands post haste!

For her:

1. The Belly Book by S. Vectin. This one is actually a journal to keep track of your growing belly. The updated edition includes a space for weekly belly photos.

2. 40 Weeks by F. Term. This is the essential pregnancy organizer with space for the list of today’s who's who.

3. Butterflies and Burps. A guided imagery primer for those things that make you throw ashtrays.

4. A Natural Guide to Pregnancy by B. Ford. This is an A to Z guide to keeping your pregnancy completely natural and free of all toxins.

5. Pregnancy Sucks by K. Arma. What to do when your miracle makes you more miserable.

For him:

1. My Boys Can Swim! by Izzy Fore Real. The official guy's guide to life when the opposite of what the doctor told you really happens.

2. The Unplanned Pregnancy by Ivanna Runn. A nine month planner for ruining your life. The updated edition of this one contains a 17 month planner.

3. The Complete Organic Pregnancy by GNC.

4. Belly Laughs by S. Marks. The naked truth about your wife.

Remember, a room without books is like a body without a soul. Happy reading!

35 comments:

maclen said...

Yeah your right Urban Myths, how mechanically obvious and shallow... instead of a photo op with her supposedly shared custody kids in LA or the mother in OZ... is it just terrible planning or conflicting agendas that is constantly putting her in the wrong place at the wrong time...see, right now she needs to convince everyone that Tennessee is her new "home", after all the critisizm she got from blogs like this, that she would even skip the opportunity to be in the same state as cruises kids on mothers day, or on the same country as her own mother.....placing a planted story online that she spent mothers days out shopping for "parenting books"... (well, she needs to really really crame on that topic! she has absolutely no clue about that...seriously) is in no plausible way going to help her failed image. In the same way she fails to take advantage by being in seperate countries as the orb on Valentines Day, people can see right through her terrible ploys to create any meaningful buzz outside of the all too well known media outlets she throws her scrawny scraps to... justjared... I'm looking at you...by the way, JJ, those photos are about as terrible as her usual photo ops...as I just posted over at NKs Forehead... she's parading her "bag lady look and the frizzled grey haired granny look, with the always comical way too off color hair extensions for good measure"... she really took that "It's not about being attractive" magazine blurb pretty serious, it seems.

kiki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
notachance said...

Book shopping on Mother's Day in TN??? This time I'm on the skeptic side of the fence - what the hell are those two doing? They can't seem to be with their parents on important occassions for some reason. They fly off at the drop of a hat for anything else, why not go home for that? It is celebrated in the land of OZ. Add to that her father's recent, serious surgery that she was not there for, and I have to scratch my full head of hair.

doublewide said...

LOL

i have to agree with maclen and notachance....pathetic attempt, and doesn't she have a mother? and no being with her father for the surgery. no excuse for that!

i don't know about ya'll, but in my third trimester i had kinda ALREADY read some books on pregnancy. they're so transparent, they just need to give up the ghost already...

BTW - kudos to the blogger! very funny!

notaclue said...

I'm probably way behind most of you because I never paid attention to NK before I discovered KU last year. But I've noticed that in many of the pics of NK, she's so obviously aware of the camera, often times smiling for them. Yet KU is going about his business and rarely acknowledges them. It's so obvious in the recent pics of her "lunching with pals". The rest of the women are standing around chatting and NK is standing by them but she's looking towards the camera rather than paying attention to her "pals". Even in pictures when she isn't looking directly at the camera (and there's no one else in the picture), she's smiling so you KNOW that she's posing because who else would she be smiling for? I mean, who smiles ALL OF THE TIME? How can one person be so full of themselves?? Is this what all of you mean by "planned photo ops"? Her pics all look so staged and fake, nothing real about them.

ShutUpAndSing said...

notaclue says..Is this what all of you mean by "planned photo ops"?

That's exactly it notaclue and welcome!

dominique* said...

ha ha ah- sigh u ppl crack me up, i haven't been on here 4 ages- but wow nothing has changed;maclean is still obsessed and all ur endless bad mouthin NK has gotten u wre? oh thats right- no wre... shame... maybe u guys should just go on living ur own lives, cos thats wat KUNK are doing. seriously why get so worked up ova ppl u neva gona meet. come on guys theres bigger things in life. just relax- move on

maclen said...

...well it looks like someone is not paying attention in English class... oh the horrors of text messaging... oh my kingdom for a dictionary... or a thesaurus...(those are books with words that explain what they mean or how their spelled or alternatives to said words... hey people, stop your reliance on your blueberrys or you''ll look like a gaggle of illiterate and ignorant and misinformed monkeys and goats.

doublewide said...

lol....maclen, your a scream!

i, myself, can't text worth a quarter

SettleDown said...

Someone posted this on E! board.

http://tinyurl.com/5zharr

HAHAHAHAHA :D

woriedmonkey said...

That Suess thing completely cracked me up last night! By the way, for any of you missing the old Keith ( or more recent Keith in action) some angelic being decided to unload his/her archive (tbku) and there's tons of great stuff...

there's a super funny one from Jamboree in the Hills ( 2003 or 4 ) where Keith is launching into an acoustic version of ( sheesh.... can''t recall thi ssecond) and he stops abruptly in the intro to say, "DAMN.. there's some FINE looking women here today"......


oh..... memories..... and obviously Pregzilla wasn't in the audience that day....
yes another laugh/cry moment.

woriedmonkey said...

That would be on YouTube.... 'KU Jamboree03 Your Everything.

full transcript; "DAMN there are some FINE looking women here tonight. Good Lord........."



those were the days,even if he was a bit of a manho.

doublewide said...

there's a super funny one from Jamboree in the Hills ( 2003 or 4 ) where Keith is launching into an acoustic version of ( sheesh.... can''t recall thi ssecond) and he stops abruptly in the intro to say, "DAMN.. there's some FINE looking women here today"......

i have this on a cd!

i have those laugh/cry moments quite often these days

realitycheck said...

These recent photos of Keith and Nicole only prove that they live their lives the way they want and dont give a damn about bloggers or gossip sites.

Lets get down to brass tacks Umyths. If Nicole had been seen with her two kids...photo op. If Keith and Nicole flew down to Oz for Mothers Day...photo op AND they are ruining the planet by using a private plane. If Nicole had been seen anywhere that weekend...lets say it all together now....photo op.

So its either a blog about how she's not doing the right thing, or a blog on how she's not doing the right thing. Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to. Its so predictable.

When can we expect some actual delivery of the truth that you promised us Umyths? Because with these more frequent postings that are about nothing (and not in a good way like Seinfeld) its becoming just another celebrity hate site. And those are a dime a dozen.

Casse Role said...

Hmmm. Reality, just for the heck of it, if this WAS another celebrity hate site as you put it...would it matter? You are still reading and commenting. And sure it is a public site, and sure you are able to post your opinion. But, what I'd like to know is what is your agenda here? Are you trying to make some of us change our minds about NK, or about posting here? I am really being sincere in asking.
I also would like to add my opinion here. I think if Keith actually read this stuff, he'd laugh. He has a crazy sense of humor (I don't know him personally, but from many interviews) that I could see him getting a good old laugh out of this. As for the Mrs... well, I don't think she'd see things his way.

woriedmonkey said...

I agree Casserole... Keith has an exceptionally quick and witty mind. The digs about him being pussywhipped might sting but I imagine he would howl at some of this stuff. Her.... not so much.. she doesn't seem to have a shred of humour. Least of all about herself.

Sonora_Melody said...

"maclen said...
...well it looks like someone is not paying attention in English class... oh the horrors of text messaging... oh my kingdom for a dictionary... or a thesaurus...(those are books with words that explain what they mean or how their spelled or alternatives to said words... hey people, stop your reliance on your blueberrys or you''ll look like a gaggle of illiterate and ignorant and misinformed monkeys and goats."

Start following what you preach. "their spelled"? tsk tsk tsk...

doublewide said...

Start following what you preach. "their spelled"? tsk tsk tsk...


i knew that was coming....maclen, your post was still a hoot

Imahick said...

OK...now I understand that few on here are going to praise NK. Many of us don't like her or the impact she has had on Keith's career / personality.

But can you honestly say that you are happy to see her NOT spending time with her children? And before you tell me that she does spend time with them and we just don't know it...read HER OWN WORDS. She does NOT spend time with her kids. She is too busy with her career, her husband, and her "FAMILY" which obviously excludes her own children.

She is a sorry excuse for a mother. So...you're right, there's not too much she could do to influence how most of us feel about her.

If she had shown up in LA and spent some time with her kids on Sunday, I might have cut her some slack. But a photo op on Mother's Day needs to develop into a more consistent presence to really convince me that she isn't a selfish cold woman. And that isn't going to happen. It would require her to actually make an effort for someone else.

maclen said...

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...Damn, "I is good!" ... too damn good for the kreepy krawlers...

maclen said...

...oh yes... kreepy krawlers, analyze this...

maclen said...

notaclue said...
"I'm probably way behind most of you because I never paid attention to NK before I discovered KU last year. But I've noticed that in many of the pics of NK, she's so obviously aware of the camera, often times smiling for them. Yet KU is going about his business and rarely acknowledges them."

Yeah, your right about that notaclue, but when she arranges the photo ops and leaks info to her regular media sources it becomes so patently obvious to any lucid and sober person, the impact of those sorry little photo ops become old news rather quickly.... JJs "exclusive" kidman mothers day plant job seems to have been pretty much ignored by all but one other internet site... the tomkat watching beckhams soccer game is still getting more coverage... her mini-me is getting mini buzz....

notachance said...

Geezus maclen - how long did it take you to come up with the kakakakrap?

woriedmonkey said...

HHmmmm. So apparently Keith did show up and do three tunes at the Opry last night incuding a new one called 'Brand New Sunshine" in which he is apparently still singing that "YOU saved my life and not only that but made it better" or something like that.
Anychance he is NOT singing to NK but actually to his Higher Power as per You Won. He says he's already writing again.

Much as she gives me the skeeves, I wish him the best..... still think he'll be a great Dad

notachance said...

Well, guess we have our answer to the no trip home thing - he was scheduled to appear at the Opry. Why didn't any of the Super Skeptic Slueths know about that? Or was that little tidbit kept on the DL by the Opry? I don't think so.

doublewide said...

it's my understanding that MV didn't announce his appearance til pretty late in the day yesterday....

i don't think any skeptcs intentionally kept this off of the blog....i have several friends that went.

i have a life, and didn't even think about posting it here LOL

maclen said...

doublewide said...
"...i have a life, and didn't even think about posting it here LOL..."

Ha! yes, weve all seen the light! We've all moved on with our lives, like all those monkey lovin' goat herdin' faithful who oh so sanctimoniously advise us to "move on with your lives" and not be contantly commenting on this meaningless blog"...by commenting on this "meaningless" blog.... yes I'm sure that these stewards of reason and enlightenment live truly "high on the hog" and lead such magnificant lives free of this meaningless blog.... and how do we know this? They keep telling us!... on this "meaningless blog!

CJ said...

According to the Opry website he shared 30 minutes with another band, The Isaacs, from 8:30-9pm. Since he's not a member, and it was a Tues night show, I doubt the Opry publicized it heavily. Monkeyville posted the appearance Monday.

Not sure why he chose NOW to do the Opry. He generally pops in for a quick appearance when he's been off stage for awhile and is jonesing with need to perform.

I can see her family not coming but in the old days, if it had been a big deal, his family would have been there. He would have brought mum over for Mother's Day and the show. But then again, in the good ol days no way would his fam miss a big deal like his first performance at Madison Square Garden. My how times have changed.

wastedemotion said...

Last time I checked they could have made it to LA, or OZ for that matter and back here to Nashville in plenty of time for his 30 minutes last night.

banbotox said...

maclen you were on a roll there...had me laughing out loud! How krazy of us to kontinue to post on this meaningless blog!

No kidding cj...times have changed, dramatically.

maclen said...

Wastedemotion, it's not worth it for kidman to fly to LA from Tenn simply to have cruises kids see their "alleged" mother on Mothers Day... now of course an awards ceremony where she is not even nominated is worth it to her... as is staying in Tenn for weeks so urban can make a 30 min appearence at this opry gig...because as we all are so clearly aware, that would be the only reason kidman would stay in tenn that long... a business apointment, and certainly not because it's her new home... more and more people are seeing that.

wastedemotion said...

I was typing in response to notachance snide comment that they stayed in TN for the opry performance....I call bullshit.
They could have made it to LA or Oz and back with time to spare....she could have even stayed in either place.

maclen said...

banbotox said...
"maclen you were on a roll there...had me laughing out loud! How krazy of us to kontinue to post on this meaningless blog!"

banbotox, try this one out!..
...kidmans kreepy krawlers kuell knowledge knowingly kuickly, keep korupt koffers kueer...konstantly kareening kleverlessly kommon ... karelessly kuant..

CJ said...

Angelina confirmed today that she is having twins. Any preg pr Nic might have gotten just officially went kuput out the window. (Misspelling intentional for those of you with no sense of humor.)

maclen said...

yes, cj, ...in tipical fashun, kidmen is left in the dust with her outdayted and prehistrionic pr tastics. It is just so passaye to simplee have just one kid in hollywould these daze....and she seemz to be having a hard long slug just getting threw this first won! Well she is still in the muney to beet out jamie lin speers for the covur of "mommies faverite pacifyur" magazene...