Monday, January 23, 2012

Keith Urban: A Blast from The Past

From the 1994 Toyota Music Awards. Enjoy. Haha.

29 comments:

maclen said...

"Yama Hama...it's fright night!" Apparently the grill work was all for naught...orb simply veneered the who lot! Orb was evidently a huge edgar and johnny winter fan! Rock out those knee high shorts, orb! HA!
In response to hoosier and Hatti from the previous thread...it is undeniable that their is a huge drop off of fansies AND skeptics online. That is clearly a result in diminishing interest in mutt and jeff. NO Interest at all in orb is exactly what I strive to highlight with my comments. I am pointing out the overall disinterest in orb. NO support for orb is a knock on the remaining fansies...and their pointless defense of his crumbling appeal. Orb is NOT attending or performing at the Grammys because of his obvious decline. And his rescheduling of a Opry appearance a week before and charity gig the day before the Grammys is obviously orb's desperate attempt to keep himself in the news cycle as OTHER country acts appear....and receive the award that orb USED to get so readily. Well those days are over. And so is orb!

blue sky said...

Shorts? On stage? I laughed so hard at about 1:02 when she, I mean Keith, looked over to his right to look at Jerry. He looks like a women from the side. Thanks for the entertainment Urban Myths and the good old Ranch music! If this would have been what Keith looks like now, Kidman wouldn't have taken a second look at him.

Jan Jayne said...

No,Keith Urban is not over, no matter how much you think that he is. You're preaching to your ever diminishing choir. Keith's crowd is still there, no matter how many words you post. When is it that you find any time at all for that eight year old niece?
3,2,1...waiting on your next endless string of stats in retort, unless you really weren't being truthful about being over my comments. If you could just catch your breath you could check for spelling errors and grammar errors too. It's avalanche, and surely your know the difference between there, their, and they're.

maclen said...

So I just noticed this from orb's twitter page...

"KeithUrban Keith Urban
Join us for a Livestream of the #1 Party for 'Long Hot Summer' on Wednesday! Two lucky fans will perform with Keith! bit.ly/zKdJGO
12 hours ago"

...so, ONLY a week AFTER the "BENEFIT FOR ORB" WAS to have taken place...Jan 18th...orb instead will be partying it out...and apparently "performing" with a few fans?
If true...it certainly adds credence to my contention that orb wanted to cancel the "BENEFIT FOR ORB"...which was CLEARLY originally scheduled a few weeks BEFORE the Grammys for any helpful buzz for a little lift...because it clearly became evident with the changes to the Grammy's country categories that orb WAS NOT even going to be nominated! BUT...orb WILL be rocking out on Jan 25th...about 8 weeks...ONLY 2 months AFTER his so called "procedure?" Also interesting is this from the monkeyland announcement for this party...

http://www.keithurban.net/news.html?n_id=128345

01/23/2012
Long Hot Summer #1 Party Livestream 1/25

"On Wednesday, January 25th beginning at 4PM CST we will be live streaming from the #1 party for 'Long Hot Summer'!
A few lucky performers were chosen for their 'Long Hot Summer' cover videos to fly to Nashville and attend the party. They will join Keith during the event and will have the opportunity to play the song with him and Richard Marx."

...yeah marx...apparently a new orb "press agent"....who the supposed DAY of orb's "procedure" tweeted back in Nov 25th...that orb was out of his "surgery" and was "doing fine"...will also be on hand at the party and will also perform! Seems like orb and marx have recently become extra chummy lately, no? Marx just last Nov released a xmas ep of only 5 tracks...with the plans BY NEXT xmas to record 7 more songs and add it to THIS xmas EP...to turn it into another xmas album! Geez...what ambition! HA!
Well, makes sense...nothing like two HASBEENS teaming up desperately trying to remain relevant!
Look out for orb's next album, folks...a COVER album...of marx's songs! HA!

Tara said...

Skeptic here and also believe there is some life left in the old boy still and look forward to seeing what is ahead

Nice blast from the past!

maclen said...

Yes...HOPE springs eternal for many "skeptics"...where the ONLY issue they have with orb is kidman. Kidman surely is a knock on orb's popularity...but the facts clearly reveal orb is on a trajectory to sure irrelevancy due to his JUST as inept PR BS that has doomed kidman's career. And until orb is free of kidman, will it be revealed IF he can steady his careening career. For IF kidman CAN force orb to trash his career with the pointless and failed PR gimmicks...and complete abdication of his music to his marriage that has clearly been a failure in cd sales...orb DOES NOT have the backbone, fortitude or common sense to right his own career. It is no doubt a factor that the impression of his being SO "whipped" by kidman is what SO many of his former fansies found so unappealing and therefore jumped off the orb's ship.! But perhaps IF orb simply ASKS kidman permission NOT to trash his career...he MAY still have a chance...but I doubt it.

Tara said...

I find it silly and not at all
surprising that when we talked about
the Kurbans being unsociable at the Golden Globes a slew of pictures show up of the couple who doesn't have sex yakking it up at the HBO party the same night. Of course tickle me pink why are they at the HBO party? Because Kidman is hawking her new TV movie.

maclen said...

So, I just did a listing of the youtube views of 10 country acts...and orb placed second to last and third to last in the rankings. So how is orb doing in "singles sales" in that group of country artists? I was able to find this listing of single sales over at Pulse Music board...for the week ending Jan 15 2012...

http://pulsemusic.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=gmn&thread=113045&page=5#3692483

...so, here are the results...

swift- 1 gold song, 3 platinum and 1 song at 418k sold....on the current singles sales chart.

lady ant- 1 song at 474k cds sold, 2 platinum songs.

shelton- 2 platinum selling songs.

aldean- 1 gold and 2 platinum songs

flatts- 1 gold song. (783k sold)

paisley- 1 platinum song (1.4mil sold)

shelton- 1 platinum song (1.8mil sold)

chesney- 1 gold and 1 platinum song

underwood-2 platinum songs

lambert- 2 platinum songs.

orb- ???

...and of course, orb IS NOT on this list of the top 60 Country selling songs. All these acts released albums and singles at about the same time...in the last year and a half. Of orb's 4 singles released off his current album...NOT ONE has yet to reach gold (500k) sales and since orb IS NOT on the list at all...it's not certain how many of each single he's sold. Orb's LAST Gold selling single was back in 2009 with "Only you can love me this way." Orb's LAST Platinum (1mill) selling single was....well... orb has NEVER had a Platinun selling song! And as of Jan 15th 2012...the other 9 country acts on this list has AT LEAST 1 million selling song...minus the flatts. So clearly, orb CANNOT sell cds of his albums...nor of his singles. And if or when Billboard makes changes to the Country Song Chart to include "digital sales and Social Media" along with "radio play"...orb will be in EVEN worse shape than he's currently in.
I actually read a comment at the Pulse Music Board from an orb fan, that they hope BIllboard DOES NOT make these changes to the chart...because...in their opinion..."radio call in requests" for a song to play on the radio...is a far more ACCURATE indicator than song "sales" of just how popular a song is!! Hilarious. Calling into a radio station is a better indicator of a songs "popularity"...than plunking down your hard earned cash to buy the song!? HA! Makes sense to me!

Jan Jayne said...

No Tara, all those pictures were not at the after party. In the department of obvious why do you think Nicole and Clive presented together? It's their profession and of course they are promoting it. That's what awards are all about. I would think you understood that being an actress and all.

maclen said...

...instant ps...

...so...

http://www.countryweekly.com/news/dierks-keith-alan-jackson-jam-private-party


Dierks, Keith, Alan Jackson Jam at Private Party

Brad Schmitt | Published: Jan 24, 2012

"Keith Urban sang in front of folks for the first time Tuesday night (Jan. 23) at a private record label party at a downtown Nashville barbecue restaurant/club."

...orb CANNOT sing at the "supposed" charity benefit disguised as a "plug for orb"...on the 18th of Jan....BUT he CAN sing at a "private record label party" only 5 days after that date, on the 23rd!? And he will then no doubt sing at a another "party" on the 25th? Clearly, this blatantly shows orb ONLY canceled the "BENEFIT FOR ORB" because it was no use for him... considering he was not nominated for a grammy. Orb's callous calculating and obvious disingenuous hackery will no doubt turn off more of his iffy fanbase who no doubt already are getting the feeling orb is just a flake!

Tara said...

Actually the photos I saw were all taken at the HBO party- I only saw what was on TV at the GG. Very cold.
so who is the "nanny"?
http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/_0AGr37lth4/Keith+Urban+at+LAX/XunUVZ2xqWK/Keith+Urban

and there may be actual actors commenting here but I am not one.

jasfro said...

Really tara that's what you call silly? I'd call it embarrassing if I were posting imaginary stories for several days only to be completely disproved by photographic evidence. But you are right you shouldn't be surprised by it at all.

maclen you are oblivious to reality and hide behind the name-calling. If Keith needed to reschedule all for the hall do you really think it's only his schedule he needs to worry about? Only you would disregard the reality of having to work around the venue's availability and even more importantly the artists availability for rehearsals and the performances and any backing musicians.

maclen said...

Yeah...I've already heard that explaination. The "BENEFIT FOR ORB" was moved from it's usual Oct date...because Vince Gill was not able to "co-host" the show in Oct. So it was then moved to Jan. Now, IF Gill was the reason the show DID NOT take place in it's regular date in Oct of last year...it is MOST likely because at that time...Gill was set to release his new album, "Gun Slinger"...which dropped on Oct. 25 2011. Now, what BETTER PR could Gill have gotten in mid Oct than a "charity" show "for the hall of fame?" But Gill, no doubt a man of integrity and dignity...I can surely believe WOULD NOT have used the benefit for HIS OWN gain. For it is a fact, Gill was organizing actual "All for the Hall" benefit shows YEARS before orb put his PR greedy and self aggrandizing sticky fingers on it...and redubbed the benefit..."KEITH URBAN...with friends" and scheduled the shows a few weeks before the CMAs..where orb seems to have had a "permanent" slot in the "Entertainer" category. And then, when he was surely in jeopardy of not getting his obligatory Grammy...he then moved it to mid Jan...a few weeks before the Grammys...where it turned out he wasnt even nominated in...so he found a way to move the date once again.
Ha! Just noticed this from the announcement...orb is dubbing this "Benefit" with the theme..."All Together Now!" Yes, leave it to the unimaginative and uncreative orb of copping that title from a Beatles song...he obviously cant come up with something on his own!

maclen said...

...post scrunched...

...another point on the "scheduling" of the "BENEFIT FOR ORB" and it's purpose of getting orb PR attention...and points...for the awards consideration..recall the "CMA Awards Nominees Honorary Dinner" that was held a week before the CMA's last year?

http://www.zimbio.com/CMA+Awards+2009/articles/9MhZhoGv8g1/CMA+Awards+Nominees+Attend+Honorary+Dinner

CMA Awards Nominees Attend Honorary Dinner

"“The 45th Annual CMA Awards” is a week away, but the nominees were already celebrating last night at a dinner in their honor at The Pinnacle at Symphony Place in Nashville.

Keith Urban proposed the idea of CMA hosting a private event to honor all of our nominees,” said Steve Moore, CMA Chief Executive Officer."

...so, obviously...when orb decided to move the "BENEFIT FOR ORB" away from a few weeks before the CMAs to a few weeks before the Grammys...orb devised ANOTHER self promoting event prior to the CMAs! The "CMA Awards Nominees Attend Honorary Dinner"...which ORB suggested to the CMA Chief...and where orb himself was presented with a "commemorative trophy"...of which the story and the picture of orb and his "commemorative trophy" was plastered all over the news cycle! Supposedly, ALL CMA nominees were invited...but as is shown in this pic at this site...

http://www.urbancountrynews.com/cma-hosts-first-nominees-broadcast-awards-winners-honorary-dinner/

...ONLY 18 people were in attendance! If two "BENEFIT FOR ORB" shows COULDNT get orb the "Entertainer" prize...this pathetic little rinky dink "nominee dinner" surely was not going to do the trick! But, as I constantly maintain and point out..THAT"S NOT going to stop orb from these rather lame attempts at promoting himself... with even lamer results!

jasfro said...

maclen do you live on the same planet as the rest of us? AFTH was scheduled for Novemeber. It was never moved back from the first announcement. As Keith said after the first show, it might not be at the same time every year because of the huge undertaking it is to get everyone together. Which dismisses your other claim that only so many acts are returning. Why would you want the same show every year? How can current top acts that Keith brings to the table always be available every year? It's impossible. You are completely rewriting history. Gill gave Urban credit for building up AFTH to something on a grander scale. Gill invited Keith to perform with him at the Nashville flood telethon and would continue to for any cause. Gill continues to come back at every AFTH Keith has been behind and promote it. So why? Why does he continue to be used as you claim? Why does Keith continue to get major acts and legends on board who don't have to do anything to stake their claim in country music history. You can't answer any of it because the only thing you are good at is typing paragraph after paragraph and saying absolutely nothing! A four year old can copy and paste stats just as you do and have a better understanding of what they are posting.

One more thing...you as a self-proclaimed cynic believe that Gill is "no doubt a man of integrity and dignity". Why? Did he help your grandmother across the street? It's so because it's convenient for you to try to make your version of reality fit. Thank you for not addressing my valid points at all because it allowed me to point out even more of your grand fabrications.

maclen said...

I have been attempting to find current, up to date numbers on orb's singles sales. As I posted earlier, NONE of orb's singles of his last cd have reached Gold status. The problem with orb's singles is that they are released...sell for about 2 or 3 months...and then the sales drop considerably, and orb is no longer on the singles sales lists. And unlike alot of the other country acts on the most current song sales I posted...who have multiple songs on that list because they are still selling...orb's dont remain very long on the lists. Here on this thread over at Country chart talk...

http://countrycharttalk.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=21

...there are song sales lists going back to jan of 2011. I was able to find a few lists with orb's song sales. So, with these little tidbits...I can give a little taste of how well...or should I say...how paltry orb's songs seem to sell!

"Put you in a song"- Released on sept 2010
Week ending Dec. 2010, 3 months later...the song sold 136,765 singles.

"Without you"- released on Feb, 2011
Week ending April 2011, 2 months later...the song sold 95,212 singles.

"Long Hot Summer"- released June 2011
Week ending Sept 2011, 3 months later...the song sold 227,503 singles.

"You Gonna fly" released Oct 2011...I havent been able to find any info on it's sales. Week ending Jan 2012...3 months later, again...this song is NOT on the list. It's sales have fallen OUT of the listings...that's over 60 country songs listed on that report...and orb's current single IS NOT on that list! Well, perhaps the orb's monkey's are taking orb's own words to heart...and they ARE NOT buying his singles...but they are illegally downloading his songs instead! Yeah... potentially orb aiding in his OWN demise on the country scene!

Tara said...

I don't think the Beatles owned the phrase all together now any more than they owned I wanna hold your hand.

I think the nominee dinner thing was a gesture that backfired because it said we are better than the common folk who watch the awards. And the awards telecast is now more important than the actual award.

I just find it odd that over a week after the event we have pictures.
Just like yesterday we saw all those shots of Keith leaving LAX on Monday
random??- Nah

maclen said...

"maclen do you live on the same planet as the rest of us? AFTH was scheduled for Novemeber.It was never moved back from the first announcement."

http://www.theboot.com/2011/10/12/2012-all-for-the-hall-concert-nashville/

Keith Urban Announces 2012 All for the Hall Lineup
Posted Oct 12th 2011 4:00PM

"Urban, who has spear-headed the campaign since 2009, has announced the initial line-up for the January 18 Nashville show, and it boasts some serious star power."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/music/country-star-keith-urbans-all-for-the-hall-benefit-concert-to-be-held-april-10/2012/01/16/gIQA4HAr3P_story.html

Country star Keith Urban’s ‘All For The Hall’ benefit concert to be held April 10


NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Keith Urban has rescheduled a benefit concert for April 10.
Published: January 16

"Keith Urban has rescheduled a benefit concert for April 10.
He had to postpone the third annual “All For The Hall” Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum fundraiser in Nashville on Jan. 18 because he’s still recovering from having a polyp removed from a vocal cord late last year."

The first orb vanity show was held on Oct. 13, 2009...the 2010 vanity show on Oct 5th.

So, tell us, "oh swamy on all things orb"....when the hell was the orb vanity show EVER scheduled for November? Or that is was NEVER moved back? I think SOMEONE needs to book a flight ticket on the next shuttle back to planet earth...oh wait...the shuttle program has been shut down! Well, then they need to schedule a vacation in the State of reality! HA!

Jan Jayne said...

Oh for heaven's sake, Tara, you see pics of them at LAX and every other celebrity there because they allow the paps to camp out there 24/7. You seem them or him, or her when they fly, it's that simple. Bauer Griffen has an archive of every celeb on the planet leaving or arriving at LAX. Pictures come out on the schedule of the photographer, not because they are reading Eonline forums or blogs.

maclen said...

"I don't think the Beatles owned the phrase all together now any more than they owned I wanna hold your hand."

Well, my point was NOT that it was an issue of "litigation"...or that it was "actionable!" My point is orb is an "uncreative" hack! His "songwriting" talent is a joke. As a HUGE Beatles fan, I find orb's plundering of the Beatles massive "legendary" vibe an insult to TRUE musical talent! His cover of the Beatles Help! on the charity "GATV flood benefit tv special"...and his cover of "With a little help from my friends" at the 2010 CMA Music festival and dedicating it to the, "the people of Nashville who pulled together to help their neighbors during the terrible flooding in early May" simply backs up my contention that orb is INCAPABLE of writing anything with the depth or emotion for occasions such as that. So he MUST plunder that depth and emotion from others! So, of course...orb MUST use the Beatles " A day in the Life" as his "signature introduction" music at his concert tour last summer! But then, I shouldn't expect fans of orb to be THAT aware of music's past history or pedigree...who obviously are not knowledgeable of anything beyond the orb's superficial jingles!

maclen said...

So, let me reiterate a few more points on the "BENEFIT FOR ORB". In 2009, the show consisted of swift, paisley, lady ant, little big town, aldean and faith hill. With that lineup, they raised $500k. A year later, when the lineup was announced as , parton, pride, currington, jackson, klauss, lambert, mcbride and the napalm. I pointed out that NOT ONE of the previous year's performers returned for the show. I clearly blamed it on orb's prima donna and self aggrandizing behavior at the show...ie: playing the first hour HIMSELF...video streaming the show on HIS website...hawking his fansie site crap...selling tickets on his site to scalpers...and etc. I maintained due to that lineup change...the 2nd show would probably NOT raise as much money. And sure enough, the 2nd show only raised $450k. My accusations of orb dominating the 1st show for his OWN promotion...ie: (see above)...and turning off many of the 1st year's lineup was CONFIRMED when in the 2nd show, orb DID NOT play the entire 1 hour...he DID not video stream the show on his website in order to sell his fansie site crap. Another charge I made here was that the show would drive up orb fawnsite paid membership...as scalpers would pay simply to buy a boatload of tickets and scalp them...no doubt to the unfortunate monkeymembers who complained they could NOT get through to get their supposed "members only" tickets to the show on there own fawnsite! That charge I made during the 1st show was addressed a year later, when orb's fawnsite announced that "all money made by paid membership to orb's fawnsite during benefit show ticket sales on the site, would be DONATED to the Hall of fame! Yes, a little damage control being attempted there! So... I said after the first show this was an orb "vanity" showcase. And a year later that showcase was eliminated. I said this was a scheme to get more traffic and paid membership to his fawnsite...and where he could hawk his crap and cd...and that was eliminated the 2nd year, as was the money they made then "donated" to the hall. I said the second lineup would NOT raise as much as the first...for all the reasons Ive listed...and that was what occurred.
So, the 3rd show is due in April. So how much enthusiasm will there be for this show? How much will they raise? Orb's record HAS proven he FALLS in cd and song sales...tour grosses and tour attendance ...and as I suspect...HIS vanity show will also fall in money raised! That is simpy the nature of the orb! Well...of course...we shall see...

jasfro said...

Just because the skeptics don't have access to anything but Just Jared and The Daily Mail, and Loser Lainey doesn't mean those photos don't exist.

You all decided to play the Hollywood Dumped Kidman card, like you do every year at every award show. You got called out on it and now it's time to play the conspiracy card. Those photos didn't exist until the skeptics said there weren't any for a week? Yeah right. I would check apimages and getty and look for the watermarked versions of some of those photos.

That's the real problem Jayne. The skeptics want people to think they are calling the shots but they are just trying to catch up with the rest of us. Self-importance isn't pretty when it's made on lies and fantasies.

maclen said...

So...you WANT some more on the "BENEFIT FOR ORB"...and Gill? Well, take a look at the first 2009 poster for the "benefit"...

2009:

http://www.biddingforgood.com/allforthehall/146037244/146153221.275.275.jpg

..."KEITH URBAN" in gigantic letters..."and" in VERY small letters...with the rest of the performers in fraction the size of orb's. Clearly a orb "vanity" piece!

2010:

http://store.countrymusichalloffame.com/product_images/d/318/Keith_Urban_poster_2010_store__45292.jpg

...basically the SAME poster..."KEITH URBAN" in huge letters and the "suporting" players in fraction the size print again...

...NOW, the upcoming 2012 poster:

http://www.keithurban.net/

...WOW...Gill actually gets his name in letters AS LARGE as the orb! So, you think Gill DIDNT pull a little seniority this year with this move? Now do you think it was Gill...as I suggest...that got the orb vanity show moved OUT of Oct so as NOT to take advantage of the benefit cause for the release of Gill's new album? Well, apparently orb HAS NO problem shilling himself off the "cause" of this so called benefit...

http://www.luckycowboy.com/keith_allforhall122.jpg

...jeebus...THAT could be the cover of orb's next album! This is a HUGE reason orb's career is no doubt crashing and burning... classless opportunism off the back of a supposed charity event! It makes EVERYTHING he does....suspect!

Tara said...

I was alive when the Beatles were together- quite aware of the influence of them on many people including Keith.

Well who is interested in shots of Keith Urban and his employee getting on a plane? Why would those sell? Who would want them?

Hatti said...

Yes Tara me too!! I loved the Beatles. And yes alot of people were influenced by them. KU also likes Elton John very much and all the country singers of past years as well.

Whatever he is doing or not doing he still has the influences to draw from. He has always brought the people he looks up to in his shows. If not in person then by singing one or more of their songs. Nothing wrong with that.

Now I believe if he ever can get out from under the heavy hand of the Moose he will do very well again. He may not climb to the top but he will have a solid career.

I understand his numbers look bad and he needs to create a good album. I think that will happen after he gets his life in order. At least I hope.

And for now well he did not have a good tour but why should he this isn't his music it's Moosie's ;)

maclen said...

"I was alive when the Beatles were together- quite aware of the influence of them on many people including Keith."

Ha! I doubt if you would...IF you actually believe that the orb came up with that promo title for the show INDEPENDENTLY of any "outside" source. But then I am well aware you dont believe that...or that it concerns you at all. You know...orb being so bereft of any original thoughts or ideas.

maclen said...

...post scripted...

...(I Wanna Be Your Man (Forever)"
-Keith Urban 1999

...I Wanna Be Your Man
_The Beatles 1963...

..whoa...that "(Forever) on the orb's title almost had me fooled!...

...yeah, this is just typical...

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/26/us-keithurban-idUSTRE80P07120120126

Keith Urban's voice in good shape after surgery

"The singer underwent surgery in November to remove polyps from a vocal chord, causing his doctor put him on vocal rest for three weeks and bar him from singing until February."

...so orb was barred from singing til February by his doc...but occording to this article...

http://www.countryweekly.com/news/dierks-keith-alan-jackson-jam-private-party

Dierks, Keith, Alan Jackson Jam at Private Party

"Keith Urban sang in front of folks for the first time Tuesday night (Jan. 23) at a private record label party at a downtown Nashville barbecue restaurant/club."

...and will no doubt jam out tonight at the bash for "long Hot summer". No doubt orb is still going by that ridiculous..."only one song performances allowed" he so laughingly claimed last year...you know...after he was "claiming" he suffered a "throat hemorrhage" on tour about a month prior. Funny, how those "performances" were for the "nationally televised" CMA awards where he sang TWICE... and the CMA xmas special! HOw fortunate he can be SO selective when it comes to when he can and cannot perform. He CANT perform on Jan 18th....BUT he CAN sing only 3 days later on Jan 23rd? Sure, many DO NOT follow docs orders...but in the case of orb...it's simply obvious calculation...and rather lamely executed!

notbuyingit said...

I think there are many reasons a performance can't come together. It's shortsighted to blame it on one thing.

wondering? said...

"But Gill, no doubt a man of integrity and dignity..."

That man of integrity and dignity cheated on his first wife and broke up Amy Grant's marriage. Just sayin'.