Friday, June 8, 2007

Insecurity, Fame and the Whole Crazy Thing: Summer Tour ‘07

On a movie set on a pretty fall day, the evil one seems agitated. Why would she be so upset? She is with her people, making her dream film, basking in the glare of the floodlights. Why is she so upset? Why? Why?

Because the musical one is far, far away and not under her control. As she takes a scaly red hand and brushes what is left of her natural hair away, the evil one picks up a newspaper and reads of triumph after triumph in America. "Those damn Yanks- what do they know, they liked Lenny too," She exclaimed to her handmaiden, Windy: "Windy, his music is terrible. It’s trite, mundane, and simplistic. It’s dull and boring just like he is. But yet he is getting raves for his show. I just don't understand." She felt the green eyed monster seize her and she knew she will have to reel him in. Because the musical one sold his soul and his life to her and she has the final say in what will be said about them. She takes off her glasses, puts out her cigarette and dials the phone.....

“Langley Hotel, to which room do you wish to speak?” is the answer. The evil one gives the answer and listens to the ring of the phone. After ten minutes she realizes the musical one is not in his room. "Where the effin bloody hell is he...?" Memories flood her thoughts. Back to New York in November 2005, the musical one wins big at the awards. He goes out with his mother and others. He didn't mention her. He was coy when asked about her. She called her friends at People and in twenty-four hours she got her wish. The pictures of the two of them strolling hand in hand wiped any trace of his awards, his big night, off the map.

She recalled she did this several times, his last concert of the tour in ‘05 when his family was there and mugging for the press she decided to invite herself to the show. She thought back to how he ruined her UN banquet by getting drunk and then he broke up with her and flew back to Music City. She got him! She called her friends at People again and announced her engagement.

She looked fondly at the picture of them with his new tattoo for all the world to see. Yes, she told him to get it. It was her gift to herself after being disgraced by his failure to be a real man and having to have to go to rehab. Of course she had to pick the rehab and bring the press there, but he still let her down. She lights up again and as she draws in the smoke she smiles to herself. She reads the interviews, yes he does talk about me, yes he does dedicate a song to me but those women will get him. They adore him. They all want to sleep with him - if they only knew.

She looks at her true love’s new wife wanting to escape, as told to a tabloid. She smiles to herself. She knows all about that. But, ultimately, she was dumped well. The musical one had better never even have that thought cross his mind. I created his world wide image I will destroy it too.

Again she dials the phone, this time another number...

In the Midwest, at a small hotel, a female hand grabs a cell phone and hands it to the man in bed with her. "Thanks baby, I will you get some more M&M's, and when I get off of here we can take a long bath together."

Seems not everyone can be controlled totally... or can they?

10 comments:

notachance said...

My goodness, so now he flew to the midwest after his Phoenix show to be with the M&M eater - or should I say M&M dispenser?

I heard nothing but rave reviews of the show last night. He is conflicted between having a wife that he loves and wanting to be with and having a profession that he loves just as much. I think he's come up with a good balance this summer. I'm hoping that his little jaunts back to frizz-head will keep him rejuvenated and keep that show fresh for him too.

Can't wait for June 30th!!!!

maclen said...

Another very wicked piercing of the "kidban"facade, Urban Myths... I think just as plausible as any make believe reality pushed by their media shills. That is some mine field they're trying to traverse isnt it? Drugs, alcohol, rumored womanizing.. botox, cologene injections, hollywood hunger strike. And all they need is to adopt an african baby, and they'll be just as chic as brangelina.

notachance said...

The only thing I see pierced is the UM take on things. I think she needs to fill that hole up so she can see a clearer picture.

banbotox said...

This is a perfect beginning to a murder mystery or a really trashy novel-love it!
Unfortunately, it might be closer to reality than fiction.

maclen said...

Well, kidmans problem is she is so bland and uninteresting personally, that you can set up any melodramatic scenario and it could be even half believable.In fact, humorously, I'd compare her to the woody allen character Zelig, the proclaimed "human cameleon". As has been stated in this blog, you really cannot qauge kidman by what she says, as everything she says is contradicted by her actions, and since she doesnt say too much about life with urban, beyond the mundane niceties of a Hallmark valentines day card...I think one logical thought of her is that she is trying way to hard to portray what is in fact not accurate. And by association, urban has trapped himself in that facade as well.

Urban Myths said...

Maclen, you continue to amaze me with your spot on comments about this "marriage"... coming from someone that didn't know who "The Artist Formerly Known as Keith Urban" was before his "union" with Ms. Kidman.

Those of us that are/were fans of Mr. Kidman appreciate that you can validate so much of what we are thinking and feeling. Good on ya mate. Hope that nasty weather didn't affect your area of Oz...

smellycat said...

Well said, maclen! I have no idea if KU is going to be successful in his quest to be the perfect husband, musician, etc. But, I feel very strongly that he could have a fighting chance if he had a spouse that was willing to commit to both her career and marriage equally as much as he.

If she doesn't show the same resolve as he does, then I can only imagine that he will burn out very quickly. I keep waiting for her to do or say something that shows she is not a self-absorbed witch, but as of yet, I haven't.

maclen said...

Thanks, urban myths, but when i fist found your site throught the I hate nicole kidman site, I swear that I was reading something I had written and just forgot about it. Actually i'm from the states, California to be exact and the the weather here has been fantastic. Smellycat, you make a good point about equal effort in the marriage, in fact, Urban would be well advised to read this blog sometime and read what kidman has said about career and marriage.. that she doesnt believe that she can have both. And it seems that he is putting in alot of effort for someting she doesnt believe in, or... is it that she said that and doesnt actually mean it? Again that would be another contradiction. Or doesn't he even read what she says in interviews, or is it that he has simply bought into the whold farce of the marriage for publicity sake?

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NotBuyingItInNashville said...

Gotta love it.

If Nic thinks that Keith's gonna be faithful while on the road....she's even dumber than a box of rocks.

It's only a matter of time.