Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Many Phases of Keith Urban-Kidman

It’s been a busy month for Keith Urban-Kidman. He’s been bouncing back and forth between the US and Oz, which has given us the chance to see many sides of Keith. A few of them are listed here, such as “Private”, “Confused”, “Uncomfortable”, “D-List”, “Suck Up”, and “Pawn”.

After listening to the interviews, it seems that most interviewers in the US that know Keith will talk about his music, and then maybe (and most probably) mention his personal life. In Oz, it seems that his personal life is far more interesting than his music. That doesn’t seem to bother the “private” Keith. Keith Kidman likes to talk about his marriage more than his music there.

Keith did the talk show circuit in L.A., but it didn’t quite turn out like it was planned. Jimmy Kimmel, who obviously doesn’t know all that much about Keith, wanted to talk about his wife which made the “confused” Keith do a good deal of fidgeting. Jimmy’s other guest that evening helped Keith out talking about him as a picker. Nice save Terry Bradshaw! Keith was not only “confused”, but “uncomfortable”.

Then the Ellen show didn’t go quite right either. That was the week she had the mishap with the puppy. Hmmm, upstaged by a puppy. Well, puppies are like babies, we all love them, so that’s okay Keith. It was cool of Keith to stay and play for the crowd that had assembled to see him and the band. That was an “Urban” moment.

Back in Oz, Keith attended the ARIA’s, the event for music much like the Grammy’s in the US. Red carpet, lots of reporters, lots of photographers and lots and lots of fans lining the way. All was good until someone noticed that Keith’s wife was walking the red carpet with him. Hmmm, upstaged by the wife. Well, Keith’s wife, unlike puppies and babies, is not loved by all, so it’s not okay, Keith.

They do love her in Oz. So much so that she is the one that made all the headlines. Not because she has any real talent for anything, but because she was wearing a black lace see-through handkerchief for a dress with beige shoes adorned with pompoms that looked like bedroom slippers. She signed autographs and smiled for pictures. Lots and lots of pictures of her in that dress, bending over, showing off her, um, underwear, which thank heavens she had on. This just after an interview where she stated she only dresses for her husband. That outfit was for the benefit of the paparazzi, not for Keith. Interesting that she was given a coat to put on by her publicist. Thank you for that Ms. Day. There were a few pictures of the “D-list husband” Keith, but you have to hunt for those.

The musical talent that converged in the building that evening had to be phenomenal. The press hardly mentioned Keith or any of the other musicians at the event that evening. Silverchair won a bunch of awards and hardly got any press. Keith performed with the John Butler Trio and he was amazing. He was on, looked happy and sounded great. Another one of those “Urban” moments.

Winning that award had to be a much needed musical pat on the back for Keith. How nice that the “suck up” Keith was able to properly thank his wife for her inspiration. And how nice that he conveniently forgot his fans that made the album, thus the nomination, thus the award, possible. So, his wife is his savior, and she also was the inspiration for an album that consists of songs that were mostly done before their “relationship”.

Keith will be back in the US to start the next leg of his tour this week. This leg doesn’t allow for many long breaks. Wonder how he’s going to accomplish the “12 day rule” of running back to Oz to pander to the wife?

The CMA Awards will take place on November 7th. Keith will be performing. He is nominated. Will they do the red carpet in Nashville? Will she blow him kisses? Will she be seen looking down while he’s performing? She doesn’t dance when he performs, she says. She only dances in the kitchen! Or pole dances on yachts when the paparazzi are around.

The two nights following the CMA’s, the wife will be on the New York talk show circuit. Will she be uncomfortable when she is asked why she isn’t happy in her marriage? Will she be uncomfortable when they talk about Keith’s wins (or lack thereof) at the CMA’s? Nope. You see, they will only talk about her! It’s all about her after all. Which leads to the last and most encompassing phase of Keith, the “pawn”.

How many phases of Keith can you find? Play at your own risk!

13 comments:

bringbackkeithurban said...

Oh, UM, you've done it again. It's so sad to see all of these "new and improved" Keith's. I, frankly, was quite happy with the one Keith Urban. I wish all of the "new and improved" Keith Kidman's would just go away. Better yet, how about if MISS KIDMAN (um, isn't she married?) would just get on her broomstick and fly home? Just think, she could do save the environment and leave Keith to the people who sincerely care for him.

I bet she could even find a black dress to wear. Go ahead and leave the coat at home, Nic. (You know, the one in Nashville-where you feel so comfortable and grounded?)Lord knows you didn't really want to wear it at the ARIAS, either. I bet Wendy paid dearly for that "save".

Seriously, Miss Kidman, go back to Oz. They love you there.

hesaweiner said...

Here's the thing she fails to see. That look in that black dress is most definately not attractive. Who wants to see glaring white skin through a black dress. Then she has the typical problem that alot of tall women have. She's gangly and awkward with her legs. Not graceful at all.

There she is bent over like she's knocked knee'd. Which in turn makes her butt look weird and like she has a corn cob stuck up it.

And I do believe if your TRYING to have sex appeal in that dress, you should wear a g-string, not t-back underwear. You can see her underwear is more wedged on her left cheek, appearing more like she has a wedgie. Sex appeal...you either have it or you don't. If you gotta work so hard at it and still get it all wrong, you just become a joke.

Damn! The shit she does is pathetically funny. First the one breast, now the knock knee'd, corn cob butt. And Keith? THIS is sexy? HAHAHAHA!!

cricket said...

How nice.Keith wins an award and all anybody is talking about is the fact that the whore wore a see-thru dress and showed everyone her ass.She just couldn't let him have the spotlight for a second.She is just so elegant and classy isn't she?I wonder what she's planning to do to up-stage him at the CMAS? Anyone have any ideas?

ShutUpAndSing said...

From the very beginning of this relationship, she has ALWAYS stolen his spotlight. He wins the ETOY awards and she has pics of her and that ring released. And for those of you that believe her BS, why in the hell would the paps just happen to be in Boston and get pics of them..unless that famewhore called them. And she just proved what a famewhore she is again this weekend!

Anna said...

What bugs me the most about kidman is how dumb she is? Watch the interview on the red carpet and watch her facial expressions. She is SO inarticulate and says UM...more than a buddist monk! What does Keith see in her?

maclen said...

I find the many of phases of urban-kidman pretty interesting, with pawn being the perfect description of urban... although i would submit that the 12 steps of urban to be more fitting... but the sad part of it seems to be that he must practice this AA tradition only to kidman. Another pathetic part of her new york talk show tour is no one is going to ask her about her past revelations, certainly not on a televised show...just as she is never asked about her negligent charity work, her disengenous past statments ranging from her marriage, home base, and talk of quitting for the past 5 years... Although all the usual manipulated magazine covers, award show appearences, and talk shows apparently isnt going to save her upcoming movie, margot...which not only is going to fizzle at the box office, (has anyone even seen a tv spot for it?) it will not get her that desperately craved award nomm. ...the other movie, is also suffering from the recent malady of post production disintegration and inside industry bad buzz. A $180 million movie starring kidman? Does New Line have a death wish or something? At least the reality soothes the exasperation of her phoney and entertainment industry veil of popularity. See, it doenst exist.

banbotox said...

I believe that she wrote the book on "How to be a Famewhore." She never gives it a rest which makes her just as overexposed as her rear end and just a nauseating.

I'm truly worried about the upcoming CMAs and what the pawn will do to placate the queen.

Urban Myths said...

What does Keith see in her?

Lots of $$$$ and instant fame are the only things we can figure out, Anna.

CJ said...

What will she do at the CMA's? Not a thing - she won't show up. She has not yet attended even one country music awards ceremony with or for Keith. I don't think she'll start now. She'll use "filming in another country" as an excuse why she can't be there.

maclen said...

CJ said...
"What will she do at the CMA's? Not a thing - she won't show up. She has not yet attended even one country music awards ceremony with or for Keith. I don't think she'll start now. She'll use "filming in another country" as an excuse why she can't be there."

Yes CJ, that is a possibility, of course. The ARIAs were in Australia, so it was convienent for her to attend, word is she still has 6 weeks of shooting in OZ. She used shooting to avoid PR for Invasion, she was really embarrassed by that movie, so who knows. But remember margot comes out in mid Nov. Shes doing a couple of talk shows, as Urban Myths mentioned... The CMA's are on Nov 7, in Nashville, kidman will be on letterman nov 8, then on Conan nov 9, in NYC...So what will it be? she'll be at two of those for sure, will it be 3?

nativeNYer said...

I would rather see him not win a thing at the CMAs (IMO, he doesn't deserve to anyway) than see him overshadowed by another fashion disaster of hers and listen to him give another b.s acceptance speech wherein she gets all the credit again.
I can't even say he needs to shut up and sing anymore....now I just want him to shut up PERIOD!!

doublewide said...

i honestly don't know who this man is anymore. he used to be so private. now he's in every tabloid and magazine imaginable. the wife has the paps on speed dial, yet he says don't read em....uh, yeah, keith. seeing his face plastered on the front of people and praising NK as his savior just about did me in. this marriage is IMO a contractual one. she has the money, so she calls the shots. when is it gonna end? when he has no career left? and is only known as the druggie no good husband who needed saving? thank goodness he had the good sense to marry her, because lord knows he has no talent, and can achieve nothing on his own....he was at the pinnacle, with MVOY AND ETOY....he could have OWNED country music if he had stayed the course. trouble was it wasn't good enough for him. NK targeted him to boost her tanking career and he bit, pure and simple. the whole thing makes me sick. WHAT ABOUT THE MUSIC KEITH? WHAT ABOUT BREATHING? to alot of us, now you're just a sell out. you deserve nothing at this year's CMA awards and i hope you get it whether your skank wife is there or not. right now you're just a freaking disappointment.

jenwren said...

I don't see the point in all this anti-Nicole Kidman talk!! As for the dress - surely everyone has looked at photo's and thought what on earth was i thinking then? I know i have! Isn't that just normal, and i'm sure that's exactly what their trying to do; be normal. She's not perfect, who is, Keith Urban definitely isn't, he's been in rehab. And Nicole Kidman was there afterwards, as a normal person, as his wife to support him, as she's doing now.

They're at Keith's award show and all everyone can talk about is her dress, not him! The poor guy, and poor her as well, she's there as his wife not to steal the limelight.

I don't understand the bitterness whatsoever, in fact it's quite amusing that there is all this drama over her dress! She's an actress, and was very famous before ever meeting Keith Urban, so why would she want his fame, when she has her own!? Plus, you all talk like you know them really well, when we see the tabloids, hear the rumours and obviously you all believe it all?! When, it is clear that none of it is true, otherwise i think Nicole Kidman would have about 10 biological children by now!

Seriously, let them get on with it.