Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Savior or Warden? A Reflection on Rehab

We actually like Keith Urban. Some of the commenters and a certain fan site down-under paint us as harpy shrews that couldn't have Keith or are jealous of Keith and his marriage or eat repulsive amounts of junk food. Nah, we are just wise to a number of facts that seem to go over others heads. Today I want to reflect on Keith before rehab, particularly that time between June 25 and October 20, 2006. Keith, the fans, and some around him seemed to not acknowledge what was going on. For Keith, it’s obvious why. Others didn't want to acknowledge that something was amiss.

But in retrospect one person in particular had to know what was going on and that person was Nicole Kidman. Some feel that ever since her gaze took in Keith at G’Day LA in January 2005, Kidman has been on a quest to control him. And if you look at the past you can see how this has worked. First, she eliminated the competition. Second, she went after Keith's inner circle. Many of the people near and dear to Keith are gone and they acknowledge that it was the Kidman influence that drove them away. Currently, there are several people who, while they may work for Keith Urban, have a dual allegiance to Mrs. Urban (oops, I mean Mrs. Kidman - I forgot she asks hotel staff to refer to her as that). Are they on her payroll? Would it matter? There are people out there who "help" keep Keith stable. Third, she has alienated Keith from his music and his fans. He was accessible; he no longer is, and if she is on tour he is unapproachable. His music has suffered because there has been an overriding need to connect his recent songs to his personal life.

A year ago all of these things were in place or were happening, and many didn't see it. But Kidman knew. More importantly, how could she not have missed the sorry state her husband was in? In looking at pictures from this period, Keith appears wasted a great deal. Was he? Apparently, he may have been. With all the people in his inner circle gone and his fans only really seeing him in pictures, he had just a few dates in 06. Who had the most access to him? Yes, his wife. Why did she let it get so bad that he had to go to rehab? Why couldn't she have stopped him from hitting bottom? Was she an enabler? Was she the cause of his slip from recovery? I don't know. Perhaps she did play a part in his slide. He was the one who fell but she was the one who was standing there watching, and according to many around at the time, you couldn't miss what was happening.

He now gives her credit for his survival. Why? Because she made a call or two to get Keith in Betty Ford? Why was that? If you look at the posed PR snaps, the first time ever anyone got the paparazzi on the grounds of the Betty Ford Center, I will venture to say it was not about Keith getting healthy and more about a photo op for Kidman. She flew to another country for the holidays. She was only spotted at Betty Ford three times in the three months he was there.

Does Kidman deserve the praise she gets from her husband? No.

It is more and more apparent that Keith was entered into rehab to get out of the glare of any more “distasteful” stories. That was the real disease wasn't it Nicole? Your husband was a human being who had issues.

Since he has been out she has taken him to events over and over that will test his will to stay sober. Yes, he does choose to go, but what if didn't? Does he really have a choice? I know I am preaching to the choir here, but how can the world not see that this is a marriage of photo ops and one-upmanship. It makes one wonder where Keith would be without her? I will venture a guess that it might in a happier place with someone he loves (and who loves him) by his side that no one knows nor cares about. Having the best career he ever could and perhaps being able to keep his demons down.

22 comments:

yawn said...

As someone with an alcoholic family member I can absolutely guarantee that you can love them to pieces and they still drink. In fact they can even tell you “the more you loved me the worse I felt - that I very much felt not deserving of your care and attention and who I wanted to be for you and in this relationship”. My family member did get better because we stood by them in support - for better or worse. NOTHING we did before they wanted help did a d*mn bit of good – no matter how much we begged.

I believe Keith’s account of his life; he knows what really happened - I don’t believe a d*mn thing you ‘propose’ to fit your agenda.

In fact …you probably also think Nicole got to Joe Nichols - and made him go to rehab just to show newly married men can be in a loving relationship and still go rehab.

maclen said...

Hey look everybody, its yawn, back after how many months? Back to impart her own personal experience to try and explain why kidCo is so happy. Seems to me he/she is projecting his/her own personal feelings and expierences as to why we should believe celebs who try to project an aura of personal and marital bliss without any doubt or scepticsm. It wouldn't take a psychic to beleive this celeb. marriage is more likely to fail than not, because of the many reasons given here on this blog... the nature of the business to be sometimes weeks if not months apart, the worry of past...and present... personal problems intruding on the relationship... the suspicious and convienent timeing of this public relationship and marriage, especially for her... and on and on. I dont have to be a psychic when I say I believe that this marriage, for every reason Ive ever expressed on this blog, will probably fail...I may not know the exact moment, place or circumstance in which it will happen...because if it was to happen tommorrow, next week,in 10yrs or even 20 yrs from now, it'll still be a failure.

Urban Myths said...

In fact …you probably also think Nicole got to Joe Nichols - and made him go to rehab just to show newly married men can be in a loving relationship and still go rehab.

No, we didn't even think that, Yawn. Interesting that you would, though!

itsobvious said...

I enjoy reading this blog. I don't get into details and too much gossip, but I think it's safe to say that when we hear over and over how happy and connected and ready to procreate a couple is, the opposite is usually true.

I sometimes wonder about Tim and Faith because of this.

But I don't have any proof of anything, just my instinct.

Keith and Nicole may be friends and/or business partners, but this is not a match made in fairytale heaven. He has too many problems and she only cares about herself and her image.

maclen said...

itsobvious said...
"I enjoy reading this blog. I don't get into details and too much gossip, but I think it's safe to say that when we hear over and over how happy and connected and ready to procreate a couple is, the opposite is usually true."

That is a good point. People who are fans of hers of course are going to overlook the facts that alot of people here base their opinions on. And what usually irks me about commenters here who defend her, take yawn here for instance, will not address any of the points mentioned on this blog. I call out kidman, especially, for her constant talk of having her own kid, as you mentioned, itsobvious. And until she actually gives birth to one, I will continue to believe that she cannot have one, so her constant talk of it just cries out sham to me. So until most of her actions and behavior progress beyond simple talk in tv or magazine interviews, it doesnt make those things a reality or truthfull.

Imahick said...

If NK didn't know that Keith had a problem drinking, then shame on her for not finding out before getting married. His history of substance abuse was not exactly a secret. So...if they were inseparable prior to June 06 (as all the pictures at Starbucks & playing bongos seemed to indicate) ... how are you not "in synch" a mere four months later ... when he is in big trouble and have to enter rehab at an obviously very bad time career wise.

Of course, she knew. I bet she researched him and thought...crap, he's a drunk and drug addict, but I need someone and quick, before Tommy marries his lady love.

I think she pushed him to marry before he was ready and then, was too caught up in her world travels to even notice him unravelling.

Is she an enabler...I suspect yes and that isn't uncommon in spouses. The most important thing is how involved she is in his recovery NOW. In my opinion, she has not learned a thing about recovery and shows no involvement whatsoever. If she was, he wouldn't have been the only one travelling half way round the world every 2 wk to keep the 13 day rule. The effort was entirely Keith's...and that in of itself, tells the whole story.

Sure...you are so happy and in love. Sure ... right ... I believe in Santa Clause too.

Anna said...

I am incredulous often at how Kidman's life has turned out. I am not a fan or a hater. I started forehead because of a bet I made that I could write about just one celebrity everyday and have something topical to discuss everyday.
What 39 year old woman marries a guy with drug and drink issues and doesn't know it? Maybe Kidman. In quoting her I'm often suprised at the crap she expects people to swallow. Perhaps she lives in her own universe, and is completely unaware of what others including Keith go through. I believe all men change when they get married, hopefully most do for the best. So how come Keith always looks so uncomfortable and sad? He's changed that's for sure.

doublewide said...

oh good grief, yawn

of course she knew about his past. the woman studied him, played him, and now is slowly ruining him, unless he has decided to take his career back. imahick is correct in that she chose keith to beat TC to the altar and portray a fairytale like marriage. she is a user, pure and simple, and i totally agree with maclen.....you people never use any valid points to support your arguments.....we are simply a bunch of jealous, cheeto eating, big red soda drinking, on our way to being doublewide, shrews.....you are so wrong. i hate seeing keith this miserable. she is a blood-sucking, conniving, manipulative, selfish, only out for NO. 1 user....

i just hope the man has a career when it's all said and done to return to. and if he wants them, i would love to see him have kids one day, however, he needs to have them with somebody who truly loves him, and not some hollyweird actress who only cares for herself. her track record with her own kids ain't so great. and speaking of hollyweird....of all the women he could have chosen, he is really scraping the bottom of the barrel on this one.....yuk

Sonora_Melody said...

You're all painting an extremely flattering picture of your idol, Keith!

"i just hope the man has a career when it's all said and done to return to."
"and speaking of hollyweird....of all the women he could have chosen, he is really scraping the bottom of the barrel on this one.....yuk"

Lol ... I wonder why the lot of you will follow such a stupid and spineless man?

Or could it be that he's quite intelligent, and has chosen to follow his heart and married the love of his life?

ShutUpAndSing said...

Love of his life my ass!!

And we fellow him because he is a very talented man. But he is just a man after all. And we do not idolize him. We realize he has his faults as we all do.

But the NK lovers do idolize her. She is NEVER at fault for anything and can NEVER do anything wrong.

I wish him to be happy and married but he just doesn't seem happy to me!

Sonora_Melody said...

ShutUp&StopWhining. He himself had said he's the happiest he has ever been.

I choose to believe him, rather than ALL of you.

I have also been to many of his shows this year, including the TV show last night. He's just a glowing picture of health and happiness! I saw that with my own two eyes.

maclen said...

Hey Someboring_malody...Id trust your two eyes about as much as as Id trust urban probably not drinking himself into another drunken stupor in the near future. Dont ask anyone here on this blog to take anything you ever say too serious from this time on... you are too tiresome and irritating to take serious...now please just run back to your little fuzzy urban fansite, do us all a huge favor.

maclen said...

Anna said...
"I am incredulous often at how Kidman's life has turned out. I am not a fan or a hater. I started forehead because of a bet I made that I could write about just one celebrity everyday and have something topical to discuss everyday."

I was meaning to ask Anna, if that was you from the forehead... cool site. Yeah, she's the gift that keeps giving alright. That could very well be the case, she is just so delusional all alone in her own make believe world, oblivious to the pans of her movies, the ridicule of her plastic face... the constant pleas by more and more industry pundits for her to just get lost already!

doublewide said...

Lol ... I wonder why the lot of you will follow such a stupid and spineless man?


who said anything about "idolizing" the man......i said i love the man and want him to be happy.....love and idolizing are NOT the same.....ask the NK worshippers about "idolizing".....they are experts

maybe keith did look happy at the taping.....cause NK was not present, i would wager.

maclen is so right about the drunken stupor thing. we, who have followed keith for years, know when the man doesn't look right. and with NK, the man is miserable. i don't care how many times he says he's happy, something isn't right. i'm sure he's bound contractually to spew such nonsense. and i don't think he's spineless either. i'd wager, it's that overbearing, conniving, untalented, self-absorbed manipulative woman he's gotten himself contractually bound to that is making him say things to perpetuate the fairytale.

maclen said...

What I think, doublewide, is that although alcoholism is such an ancient _malady, (someboring...) so engrained in people over thousands of years, some people are more susceptible to it than others... there are also mental and emotional reasons they do drink excessively, or abuse drugs. Just as you cant make a person stop drinking just by being able to deny them alcohol for a short period of time, eventually they return to drinking excessively if the underlying pschological problems are not addressed. Urban was, and is still vulnerable to past influences, past behavior, just as you and I believe that he is obviously being influenced by kidman, using that vulnerability for a convienent and handy public throphy, or more humorously ironic, a kind of "stepford husband.
...and also it's a part of celebs jobs to "appear" happy and content in front of their public... they get paid alot of money to appear happy...or sad, or frightened or angry in front of a movie camera... althought in my opinion kidman does not do most of those emotions nearly as well as she is getting paid to do it, i would say. Other wise these kidman defenders wouldnt now believe kidman when she says today that she was so unhappy for the past 5 years before she met urban, because didnt she look so happy in those redcarpet premiere pics or on leno or letterman?... get a clue and see beyond the glittery facade of lalaLand... or the grand ol opry for that matter.... And so Urban has no doubt had to adopt alot of "acting" for the cameras for the sake of kidmans faltering career, and perhaps his own sobriety.

doublewide said...

and of the two, maclen, he is the better actor

banbotox said...

Good points maclen and dblwide!

We follow Keith because we love his music. We all understand he is flawed, as are all humans AND we don't believe everything he says...

If the Kidman worshipers would just listen to her flip flop. There is no consistency in her statements. Not because as a person she continues to evolve and change her mind as she learns more about life BUT because she comes across as shallow, superficial and arrogant.

anna-love your blog. It is hysterical! I've shared it with a lot of my friends and they love it too!

Jacqueline said...

nobody knows anything about either keith or nicole's personal life, who they are as husband and wife, what they do with thier personal time etc. I don't of course, but it amazes me how people speculate when not knowing a thing about them. In my own opinion, I totally disagree that Nicole "made" keith disassociate with his friends. Part of recovery is that they say that "you have to find a new playground" in other words, to keep away from the things and people that linked you to the addictions. Makes perfect sense to me! The guy is just trying to stay sober. He's only been sober for one year. He's done a great job so far. It's a life time disease and it will be a struggle for him. It is for any addict. We all have our own kind of addictions. Whether it's shopping, gossiping, eating, obsessing, exercising, drinking, smoking etc. As for speculation that Nicole did not know about his drinking, I think that's odd that people think that. I believe she very much did know. I don't think K would keep that from her. It's that the Amanda scandle went out and that's when it all came down. What's sad to me is that if anything ever were to split them up, which I hope it doesn't, it will be the pressure of the public who just don't let up on them! Also, keith feeling he lost his music by being married to a big star. I hope not, but imagine the strain. I'm sure all of the hype will simmer down in time, but meanwhile, for them it must be awful. I wish them both well. Heck, I wish anybody well who's in love and trying to make a marriage work. That's commendable to me. Particularly these days. It's gross out there!

maclen said...

Hi Jacqueline, first I'd like to say that i appreciated your comments when i read them. You make some very reasonable arguments in their favor and didnt have to resort to shrill and annoying name calling. As someone who believes this marriage is a simple publicity stunt, I cant be as positive about it as you... and I suppose I dont believe in "if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all. Hope you continue to comment on this blog and add your perspective on Urban, his marriage, music and career.

ShutUpAndSing said...

Hi Jacqueline, first I'd like to say that i appreciated your comments when i read them. You make some very reasonable arguments in their favor and didnt have to resort to shrill and annoying name calling....
___________________________________
I agree maclean.. Welcome Jacqueline

doublewide said...

I agree maclean.. Welcome Jacqueline

i'm tossing my hat in the ring....welcome jacqueline, a good post

maclen said...

Jacqueline said...

"... but it amazes me how people speculate when not knowing a thing about them."

Well part of the reason I'd hope commenters like Jaquenline would continue to comment here, is because I would like to hear how they explain away the things we do know about them. They are public figures who reveal parts of their lives in order to court an audience. What do they think of her charity work, do they buy she is sincere about it? Do they buy, not that she "yearns" to have a baby, but actually believe she even is able to have a baby? Was she sincere when she said that she would give up her movie career to be happily married again? All these questions have not been addressed by commenters here who defend her as "charitable", "honest" or dedicated to anything besides her own career. All they state is that it is none of our business, we dont know the "truth' so we should not speculate, or the typical we are jealous...bitter...etc. Anyone who gives me honest thoughtful explainations to these will have my attention and respect.