Monday, February 25, 2008

Thanks Nicole, You Made it Easy For Us

We lived through the pasty one and her bought and paid for husband at the Oscars - at least the pictures say the Oscars and we did actually see her come out and give out a special Oscar but did they ever play it safe. No throng on the red carpet. No meet and greets with her peers. The red-eyed, pulled, and stretched former Oscar winner came with only a few minutes to spare joined by the man who used to be known as Keith Urban. Kidman only talked to a reporter for a second before going into a full pose and bend and stretch to pimp out the bump that seemed to have stalled in its growth. Kidman usually can get a whole year of photos in the tabs by what she wears to the Oscars, but not in the gown she wore last night. Some have said she was matronly while others have said she played it conservative because of the "child inside her".

Whatever and why ever she did what she did, she looked old. Not older but old. I think she may have wanted to go the Princess Grace route but she was trying for the young Grace and what she got was the bloated old Grace before the tumble in the sedan. Kidman didn't look good or even healthy, she looked old.

Check out some of the pictures of her on the carpet. She had more wrinkles than my sister’s Shar Pei. The guy she gave the award to was turned on but I think breathing probably turns him on too, so I don't count his opinion. The fetus didn't even take attention away from our Nic; it was concealed in a fitted gown. Damn it Nicole, we wanted you to sit in the audience too. I wanted to get at least five or six blogs out of you and Keith sitting in the audience, but you had to stay backstage. Your spokesperson said you were sick. Oh, so sad to hear that. Wasn't sickness the reason you stayed away from the Grammy’s too? Was being late also a way to not have the attention taken away from you and toward the man who used to be Keith Urban? One of those pesky journalists might have asked him about winning that second Grammy. Did that scare you?

As for Keith, the man is losing his fight with mortality. Be it with his hair, height (loved the stilt shoes Keith) or in his demeanor. Keith is a walking middle aged man. My how sex-on-two-legs has become such a sad, sad creature. Stopping and walking away from her so the photographers can get their shots. He is well fed, well paid and well trained and well, so over.

Now you are probably wondering if there is dirt. Since they didn't seem to go to any of the parties we won't get too much, but many watching them on the red carpet noticed that there was an air of tension, a sense of anger between them. You will never see that. They have the poses down so well and perhaps that is why they stayed in the back and not in the audience, or why earlier in the day Keith was eating alone in a hotel restaurant. For in those photos everything looks A-ok.One positive thing about all of this is that with the exception of her well timed photo ops, we won't see the skank until the spawning of the fetus and by that time will anyone care? So thanks, Nicole, have a safe ride back to the land that adores you.

38 comments:

maclen said...

Yeah, kidman and Co. were basically a no show. You know, another basic run of the mill premiere or award show photo spread is never going to be able to replace a failed movie career. So, more photo ops in the land down under, telescopic cameras trying to find her microscopic "bump" will grow tired very fast. Even the fairy tale tennessee ranch story line might have broken the monotony, but that story has apparently been played out...urban was as invisible and irrelevant as ever... and I'll leave it at that... except a message: Yo orb, kidmans "sickness" pr excuse for last nights waste of time probably means she will not be touring with you after all, dude...get used to it, and at least try and stick with the party line.

isitoveryet said...

I don't believe she was sick either. If she was, it would be obvious from her voice, and she would be continously coughing.

realitycheck said...

Blah blah blah...

Yawn...

Snooze...

Snoring...

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Haven't i read this review before? It feels like deja vu all over again.

Same old same old from Umyths....

isitoveryet said...

And what do YOU have to bring to the table realitycheck? So few words - having a hard time defending the "Aussie Power Couple"?

biteme said...

Besides if she is sick, get the hell away from Keith. He is suppose to start up his tour this weekend. People will be pissed if he cancels because he is sick because of her.

She should have not come if she is so ill expecially the fact that is suppositely preggers.

doublewide said...

well, that has to have been one of the most boring Oscars ever! the happy couple was very late arriving. and why would she stay back stage the whole evening? trouble in the camp? i don't think she was sick, either. i've seen her dressed alot worse (a couple of them very recent). and that red dress last year with the huge bow....ick.

she did have a pretty good monotone going on in her presentation, but she got thru it well.

keith just looked, well...pathetic. trying to get out of the way of her spotlight. she's heinous and he's hired. how sad and pathetic it all is.

oh, and who stuck the bowl on his head for the haircut???? that hair just has to go.

woriedmonkey said...

God, you people are vicious.Much as I dislike and distrust NK , I'm beginning to wonder if you ever
liked KU at all. She's having his child for crissakes.
Deluded he may be, wishing to step out of her
'limelight" possibly. but that's his child in there and she is pregnant, even if she manipulated the
crap out of the media with her 'announcement' and can't be trusted about the dates. (It still boggles my mind that wiht her history she would annouce before 3 months but then maybe there would have been questions raised about Kate Winslett and The Reader).

I am actuallly not surprised at all that she skipped the front row. She always has to be different and this keeps the 'interest' factor higher...making herself scarce. I thought KU looked fine.... elevator shoes, come on !
Knowing her, she's probably paranoid about catching germs from the hoi palloi also. She's probably very 'sensitive' and doesn't want to sit too close to anyone ( just guessing).


I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought for a while that they actually weren't going to show.
Jon Stewart comments about the two pregnant ladies, Cate B and Jessica A ,was clearly a set up for his , I thought, very funny "And the baby goes to..... Angelina Jolie' bit. When I saw the Golden Compass picture of NK I thought she was either backstage or not present. I kind of enjoyed that Angelina Jolie stole her thunder.

Anyway, to me she's a reptile. I sometimes wonder If I hadn't perhaps got her wrong and that she's simply an ungainly awkward girl who never felt good about herself who now, in her own mind, is queening it all over the world.I don't believe KEITH was hired by anyone or it's a setup.

He was doing very nicely without her remember. Much better without her......

maclen said...

If team kidman think that giving the same tired excuse for her that they gave to urban just a few weeks ago is really gonna fly... they are even worse pr hacks than even I imagined. The chaos and phoniness of the sham "union" must be beginning to fray at her carefully manicured public image.

getaholdofurself said...
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getaholdofurself said...

doublewide said...
"well, that has to have been one of the most boring Oscars ever! the happy couple was very late arriving. and why would she stay back stage the whole evening? trouble in the camp? i don't think she was sick, either. i've seen her dressed alot worse (a couple of them very recent). and that red dress last year with the huge bow....ick.

she did have a pretty good monotone going on in her presentation, but she got thru it well.

keith just looked, well...pathetic. trying to get out of the way of her spotlight. she's heinous and he's hired. how sad and pathetic it all is.

oh, and who stuck the bowl on his head for the haircut???? that hair just has to go."

i couldn't get through it ... what a yawner!

i thought nk looked beautiful, but i completely agree about last year's red dress.

the black suit/tux and tie, which we've seen a few times now, do nothing for keith. as for the hair, put a little blonde back in it and lay off the product!

kiki said...

Hello everyone. I've been a long time lurker and a closet skeptic. I read this blog mainly for the entertainment factor. And while I absolutely love Keith, no matter what he does, I find some of the things said about him here funny and true. I've been a long time fan and have been lucky enough to meet him a couple times. I wanted to believe all things good would come out of this "union", but I'm still waiting to see it happen.

I finally decided to post because I've been fuming ever since the grammy's that Keith wasn't there, but here he is at an awards show where he looks completely awkward. And he missed the grammy's for a photoshoot? Uh, okay??? Not many musicians will trade the grammy's to sit in the dust and watch the queen pose. And did he go to Tokyo? I never did hear.

As for the pregnancy... I'm still not sure she is pregnant. I haven't really seen a bump yet. I only see her back arched so much that it must be causing her back problems. If there is a baby on the way, at least we know who will be raising it. Keith will be a wonderful father AND mum.

realitycheck said...

isitoveryet, i'm not defending anyone. Nicole and Keith dont need my defending. And if you recall your Queen Bee, maclen herself, posted a similar response on this blog not too long ago.

worriedmonkey, Ive had your same thoughts about the hard-core skeptics ever liking Keith at all. Its almost ridiculous since they dont even know him. They need to get a grip and realize he owes us nothing. Its his life, his successes to enjoy, his mistakes to learn from. And he doesnt need to listen to anybody on the internet!

Jeniecho said...

Wow, poor Keith. I actually feel bad for him. I am still a fan of his, I am just disappointed. He doesn't seem on top of things anymore. It doesn't seem important. But, maybe he sees something in her that we don't.
I don't care for her actually, never have. She seems selfish and spoiled, it's all about me attitude. Keith LOOKS different and ACTS different. That much I do know....so....yeah it's a sad day.
I told ya'll his hair last night looked kinda bad...lol...poor guy!
I didn't like Nicoles dress at all, but I thought she looked ok. I have seen her worse! Besides, she doesn't look pregnant...but I know with my first child, I didn't show until I was about 5-6 months.

doublewide said...
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doublewide said...

He was doing very nicely without her remember. Much better without her......

you'll get no argument from me on this point!

getaholdofurself said...

if keith was doing so well (which i happen to agree with on a professional level), why do some of you think his marriage was an arrangement? it makes no sense.

Tara said...

Keith was doing well. He was a major star in Country Music and he was getting recognition from all of music. But and this is a huge but
he wasn't famous in that if you said his name you would know who he was. That fame is important to Keith always was. Dating Kidman pushed his profile beyond just being the music dude.

Perspone said...

And Tara now he has to pay the piper for that "name recognition". For those of you defending Keith and saying he owes us nothing, I disagree. If Keith want's my dollars and wants me to continue to show up at his concerts and feed his need for adoration then he does owe me something. He owes me an album with decent music on it. He owes me a concert where he is actually present, interacting with his fans, and not doing the bare minimum necessary to perform. But also if he wants to continue in the business he owes that business the respect to show up at their biggest musical event and not to miss it simply because he had to hold NK's purse while she did a photo shoot for her next big flop.

notachance said...

I'm curious - exactly what did Nicole make easy for you? I thought you wanted to have fuel for your fire so you could continue to have blog upon blog of how NK has taken KU down just off of the Oscars alone. To my eyes you got a wet match.

maclen said...

Tara said...
"Keith was doing well. He was a major star in Country Music and he was getting recognition from all of music. But and this is a huge but
he wasn't famous in that if you said his name you would know who he was. That fame is important to Keith always was. Dating Kidman pushed his profile beyond just being the music dude."

That's a very perceptive point of view, Tara, one I never considered very much, beyond the idea he wanted more attention from the media. But just as he is now touring with underwood and later chesny... when the opprtunity to hook up with kidman, he considered it a step up in media buzz. But in his fuzzy state of dealing with sobriety/addiction, he was just steamrolled into the marriage, and valet duty...etc. The fact that he ended up in rehab 4 months after the marriage would tend to support that. Most would have believed that the hook up with kidman would lead to even more success, the fact is it has not. This blog saw it before it occured, and seems to be growing in opinion of that idea. And just as I've been stating for a few years on other, and now this blog, that kidman is a very uninteresting, one dimensional, one note actress, after last years failure that is the consensus, and not just here, but more and more in the hollywood punditry.

NotBuyingItInNashville said...

Agree with you on all points, Maclen.

He was definitely steamrolled into the marriage - especially by his attorney and his manager, people he trusted and whom he thought had his best interests at heart.

The bottom line is until The Man Formerly Known As Keith Urban finds his b*alls and gets the courage to walk away from this marriage, this contract, and perhaps from those he thought were his best advisors....he will continue to be irrelevant in the music industry and he will continue to create irrelevant music.

inittowinit said...

I agree with Tara. Keith has talked about "fame" since he was a little boy. That's really all he ever watned. It's sad, rather, because he has the talent to have gotten that all on his own.

KUsnob said...

Are you guys serious? You expected her to walk the red carpet, strutting her puppy around and she didn't do that.
And why do you have such a hard time believing someone who's PREGNANT being SICK? Have none of you ever had morning sickness? I had it morning, noon & night. But I suppose that Nicole being so perfect, couldn't POSSIBLY have been allowed to be sick.
Where was Halle? She hasn't had her baby yet? She's an Oscar winner. Damn it, she should have been there.

This whole contractual marriage thing is a joke. And it belittles keith as a person. Any person who was a fan of the man prior to his "success" would know that this is not something that he would ever be after. And not sitting in the front row to be noticed, is something that he would do and something that would not be in a Tom Cruise style contract. Ya know!

notachance said...

"The bottom line is until The Man Formerly Known As Keith Urban finds his b*alls and gets the courage to walk away from this marriage, this contract, and perhaps from those he thought were his best advisors....he will continue to be irrelevant in the music industry and he will continue to create irrelevant music."

------------------------
And how long will you continue to cry over the same cup of spilt milk? At what point will you decide to actually move on and stop whining about it?

This is like a broken record on here, just a different name posting - sometimes. You guys can keep rehashing, lamenting, whatever about this whole thing but the fact is, he is married to her, she is having his child (like it or not), his music is what is now (like it or not).

I sit and here and feel frustration at all of you because you can't seem to move past it. It is beyond your control. I, too, was once just like you - but now I have more of a "it's his life" attitude, he doesn't owe me anything. The absoluteness of hate being displayed from the skeptic bloggers is cancer at its' best - or should I say worst. Your constant & consistent microscope of all things Nicole and Keith is downright crazy - just as crazy as those loons on monkeyville knitting baby bonnets thinking that Nicole would actually let her baby wear it.

Never, in my wildest imagination, did I think that first time when I signed on to one of the first skeptic message boards, did I think that any group of women would take it to the level that the UM group has gone. This is, by far, well into the stratosphere of hatred of not just Nicole, but Keith as well. You lost your skepticism along time ago.

woriedmonkey said...
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KUsnob said...

Stupid Boy has no relevance to Keith Urban, since he didn't do anything but sing it. But if you love the song and it means something to you, then you have Nicole to thank for that. Since it was her suggestion that he record it.
Otherwise, you should thank Sarah Buxton for writing it.

Being revelant means nothing in this generation. Like Heidi Klum says, One day your in & the next day you're out.

notachance said...

Excellent write up worriedmonkey. You make some very valid points.

Except for: "I'd love to see him tour with someone like Sheryl Crow because she is populist and intelligent and great musically and I think that's the audience where he can grow his career mored points."

PLEASE NO!!! Have you been to the snooze-fest, I mean a show of Sheryl's?? When she co-headlined with John Mayer we were ever-so-grateful that our show was a John Mayer closing night. For a rocker, she's got a very laid back show.

KUsnob said...

What's the matter worriedmonkey? Why delete your post?
Forget that Nicole was the one who suggested that Keith record the song? Heaven forbid she do something to promote his career.

KUsnob said...

What's the matter worriedmonkey? Why delete your post?
Forget that Nicole was the one who suggested that Keith record the song? Heaven forbid she do something to promote his career.

woriedmonkey said...

Just felt like deleting it... felt too rambling and off point.

You might be right... no you are right about Sheryl Crow and yes, I know that Sarah Buxton wrote and performed Stupid Boy. If NK sent the song Keith's way or encouraged him to do it (more likely) good for her.
He did an incredible job.

Loved your post Notachance.... especially about the baby bonnets being crocheted as we write !!

isitoveryet said...

I don't believe for a second that she recommended the song to Keith. He had enough talent himself to know whether or not this was something he could record. He didn't take bimbo to tell him that!

Tara said...

If you believe that Kidman actually picked out Stupid Boy or had anything to do with his music then you probably also believe that they originally got together because they wanted to date one another.

Skeptics don't hate Keith they are just very very sad to see him become what he is today.

KUsnob said...

Well tara if you believe half the shit you tell people that you say comes from your "sources" then you're just crazy.

Tara said...

Guess I hit a nerve.

wastedemotion said...

Nicole did tell Keith to do Stupid Boy, he admitted so himself.
He played the song for her and told her he wished he could do a song like that and Nicole said why not do that song. Nicole said it's like you're looking in the mirror singing it. So you can thank Nicole for Stupid Boy it was her suggestion he do it.

Berry Hill said...

"Wasted Motion" said:

Nicole did tell Keith to do Stupid Boy, he admitted so himself.
He played the song for her and told her he wished he could do a song like that and Nicole said why not do that song. Nicole said it's like you're looking in the mirror singing it. So you can thank Nicole for Stupid Boy it was her suggestion he do it.

-----------------------------------
Ok fine... but personally-- never liked that song. And Keith has said a lot of things about NK to the public and done so many, many things to belie them out of the public eye.

considering the lyrics, Nicole certainly was NOT paying her husband a compliment if she did tell Keith it was like he was looking in the mirror singing it. I would feel like I'd just been slapped.

===================================

Tara said...
If you believe that Kidman actually picked out Stupid Boy or had anything to do with his music then you probably also believe that they originally got together because they wanted to date one another.

Skeptics don't hate Keith they are just very very sad to see him become what he is today.


There reasons for getting together have been spelled out for nearly three years.. some people just refuse to accept the facts.

And I totally agree with Tara-- I don't hate Keith, I'm just selfishly disappointed that the music he used to make-- music that used to be relevant to me-- has ceased since he fell under Nicole's influence. I also miss the happy and humorous sparkle that was frequently in his eyes and has been replaced by a robotically programmed expression now. (hmm.. kind of like Katie Holmes)

Berry Hill said...

Apologies for my misspellings. I wrote too fast and I can't figure out how to edit in this forum! I'm not illiterate just rushed.

doublewide said...

Ok fine... but personally-- never liked that song. And Keith has said a lot of things about NK to the public and done so many, many things to belie them out of the public eye.

considering the lyrics, Nicole certainly was NOT paying her husband a compliment if she did tell Keith it was like he was looking in the mirror singing it. I would feel like I'd just been slapped

i totally agree Berry Hill.....he has said things and and then at times he has totally contradicted himself. that's one reason i don't buy into this thing. too many things don't add up. and the body language with the two of them together.....sheesh

have i said it's very nice having you on the blog Berry Hill?