Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Keith Urban Anonymous (KUA) - The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we are powerless over Keith Urban - that our lives had become obsessive.

2. We came to believe that other country music artists and life pursuits could restore us to sanity.

3. We made a decision to turn Keith Urban's life and career over to the care of Camp Urban and Nicole Kidman's PR team.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman.

5. We admitted to the skeptics, to ourselves, and to other human beings, the exact nature of our skepticism, obsession and infatuation.

6. We were entirely ready to have the tabloids expose all Keith Urban's defects of character.

7. We humbly asked Keith Urban to please, please, get back to the music and dump the "wife".

8. We made a list of all the bunnies and monkeys who buy into the fairytale, and became willing to tell them all "we told ya so" when the time is appropriate.

9. We made honest and diligent attempts to stop buying tabloids, purchasing Keith Urban merchandise and attending shows, except when to do so, would seriously disappoint others.

10. We continued to take every opportunity to expose the farce and the true nature of The Aussie Power Couple's union.

11. We sort through tabloids and Google alerts, to remind ourselves that Keith Urban, as we knew him, is long, long gone.

12. Having had a rude awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to skeptics and bunnies and monkeys alike, and to practice these principles in all future affairs regarding Keith Urban and his "extraordinary wife".


maclen said...

yeah its interesting, the people who seem to have become disappointed in urban concerning his "career" cannot seem to ignore his new private... or more correct, higher profile public life. A new life of daily photo ops... unflattering tirades against the ever more present paparatz... and beneficiary of an abundance of even more frequent flyer miles. That may not matter to the few who litter this site with their defense of their beloved idols... and it is a "defense"... a more than aware knowledge that this flailing couple of attention starved celebs are in fact in trouble of becoming irrelevant in their fields.
And the ever growing voices of critisizm on all fronts is a sign that they must also feel the same desperate need to stay in the public eye at all costs. But there is a big difference between attemping to stay relevent, and actually being successful in staying relevent. I certainly dont see them as being successful at all.

maclen said...

... oh yes, just wanted to highlight another patented and obviously pre arrainged photo opportunity of kidmans... this one of the "happy couple having a get together with naomi watts... in photos from always friendly just jared...

notice how kidman is wearing a very loose fitting and flimsy materialed dress that the wind can blow around to greatly accentuate her "massive bump".. and how in that first photo she is obviously with both hands attempting to pull the dress tight from behind to give the illusion of the "massive bump... damn even her fake boob job looks even bigger in the loose fitting dress... and lets not forget that goofy paparatz and silly grin thats frozen on her face.... again, as phoney and as fake as those implants...

banbotox said...

Right on target again maclen!

The daily photo ops are getting rather boring-now all she wears is black..what happened to the beige? Does black show off her non-existent bump better than beige? Or maybe her boob job looks bigger in black? One thing for sure-she needs to use an iron...

Tara said...

No matter what she looks like
Keith is the one who looks awful. Maybe he can't handle all the press?
Maybe he can't wait to leave her and get back on the road? Whatever it is he wants out of there.that is obvious on his face. I have also noticed that Kidman makes a point to dress somewhat elegantly and Keith looks like he slept in his clothes or that he was just called to show up for the photo op.

realitycheck said...

I love this blog because it concisely shows how ridiculous the skepti-haters "mission" truly is!!!

Berry Hill said...

The only person who looks pleased as punch in those pics in Kidman.
Keith is gritting his teeth-- as usual and Naomi looks peeved to have been set up. You would think after all these years she would realize that just how Kidman rolls.

doublewide said...

i don't think our "mission" is ridiculous at's the truth, and it's as plain as the ugly nose on NK's face.

keith looks like he just rolled out of bed, have to agree with tara

NK is just so transparently THAT'S ridiculous. and do something with that hair!! ewwww

and maclen i guess the one thing that is worse than being irrelevant, is looking OLD, WORN OUT AND IRRELEVANT

bstnactrs said...

"realitycheck said...
I love this blog because it concisely shows how ridiculous the skepti-haters "mission" truly is!!!"

Oh lighten up...this blog was written to show that some of us are actually able to laugh at ourselves.

I thought some of you might appreciate that but as usual, you have nothing to contribute but insults.

Gee, what a surprise.


maclen said...

Berry Hill said...
"The only person who looks pleased as punch in those pics in Kidman."

Yes that is the one constant in these photo ops, kidmans goofy paps smile...she wears it through out the series of pics, from the moment they exit the restraunt to entering the limo... and also urbans constant scowl... if they werent wearing different clothes... wrinkles and all, you couldnt tell they were from different days. No doubt the reason they included watts was to break up the monotony. And yes, doublewide she does look old and worn out... and certainly that hideous dress was no doubt found by a paid hack who it seems simply picked it out a second hand store just for the occasion... fashion icon breakdown alert!

maclen said...

So, in this weeks country chart action watch, it seems my prediction of last week that urban's cd would fall down the charts into the 20s before he got back to the US did in fact occur. The orb's G-HIts cd fell 4 spots from # 16 last week to # 20... meanwhile the orbs headliner, underwoods cds... carnival ride fell one spot from #3 to #4...and previous cd, Some hearts fell from #7 to #10...still, remarkably still with 2 cds in the top 10. So, is urban even picking up any new fans from the dominate underwood's fan base? Looks like he's not, and interestingly obvious... losing even more of his own.