She is Having His Baby!

....what a lovely way of distracting people from the rumors....

It is the 18-month mark in this train wreck known as the Urban/Kidman marriage and instead of divorce announcements we get articles in British tabloids claiming that Box Office Poison Nicole Kidman and her husband, you know that guy named Keither Urbane or whatever, are preggers. For those of you who have been around this debacle you know these rumors come out almost as often as Keith gets highlights. Most of them come out on a weekend, fester and spread, then are later denied. These planted stories are always dependent on other rumors swirling around about the Down Under Wonder Couple.

Rumors? Are there rumors? The PR about Kidman having Keith on her set for the last day of filming next years biggest screen failure were shot all to blazes when pictures of a happy smiling Keith in Los Angeles from the same day appeared. Speaking of pictures, where are they? Kidman has documented her last four Christmases - a couple with her children (the infamous basketball game) and the last few with Keith. Remember last year, the pigtails and greasy skin and Keith getting a "leave" from rehab to fly over to her on Christmas Day? We know why that happened. The same paper that is now reporting the news of her pregnancy, last year had a story about a young woman who had an affair with Keith. Pretty graphic and pretty nasty toward Keith, the story was supposedly an exclusive even though Life and Style had the same story with pictures three weeks earlier. Also interesting was that the young woman denied talking to said paper but she turned up with new boobs a few weeks later and the story died because it served its purpose and that is the point.

This story is here because Nicole Kidman is in a nose dive. Her career is teetering on collapse. No one has seen her and her husband together since November 27th in London. There are mixed stories out there about where they are; some say Nashville, some say Sydney, some say they aren't even in the same country. Katie Holmes is telling a weekly US magazine that Kidman’s children call her Mom. Did you notice in the new story they make a point of saying that the spawn of conception would be Kidman's first "natural" child? I did. I also think this is all a grand plan to get publicity for a movie that won't even be released until next Christmas. Kidman and her co star Hugh Jackman are hosting a large party on a boat on New Years Eve in Sydney Harbor. The best way to get big press is to put a story out there that may or may not be true. They come to get a picture of her “baby bump” and the movie gets free PR. Is the rumor true? Who knows? We will get to see Nicole in her designer frock at her spectacular party which is all about her movie and that is the point. The truth, an unborn baby, a husband who is or isn't in the picture, what does it matter? Nicole will get her press and that is far more important than the facts. We have all learned that over the years.

The Oz Press Turns on the Queen!

Excellent article... It's from the Daily Telegraph:

Here's the link: http://tinyurl.com/2gvb89

Now gossip queen targets Nicole Kidman's kids

December 20, 2007 12:00am

NICOLE Kidman is under personal attack on two fronts today: first gossip bitch Perez Hilton mocked the Aussie star in his continuing vendetta by leaping on claims her children call Katie Holmes "mom" - and now the Vatican has urged movie-goers to avoid her new movie The Golden Compass.

In recent weeks Hilton has waged an increasingly nasty personal war against 40-year-old Kidman, with each item on his website - the most popular Hollywood gossip blog in the world - getting more and more bitchy.

His latest story is so vicious it has been headlined: "Nicole Kidman's Kids Really Hate Her!".

Today's item also questions whether Kidman even has a heart - and Hollywood insiders are baffled why the self-confessed gay queen has taken such an intense dislike to Kidman and why he is so actively taunting her about her relationship with her children.

What's wrong with Nicole Kidman? Join Monty's blog.

At the same time it would appear he has given considerable space on his site to promote Holmes, the actress wife of Kidman's former husband Tom Cruise.

Insiders say Hilton is suggesting the two children of Kidman and Cruise prefer 29-year-old Holmes to the Aussie, who is now in Sydney spending Christmas with her family.

Among his recent string of web jibes on Kidman, Hilton:

- BAGGED out her new movie The Golden Compass as a "stinker" and "yet another bomb to Nicole's string of commercial disasters!"

- INSISTED the recent unveiling of her waxwork at London's Madame Tussauds gallery is more attractive than her. "The waxwork looks just like her. How sad is it when the wax version of you looks better than the real thing?!"

- MOCKED her looks again when discussing the Catholic Church's concerns over The Golden Compass. "But that will make Nicole Kidman sad. No frown lines!"

- FURTHER on her looks, Hilton called Kidman a "botox w****", ran a headline above her photograph saying "Does This Scare You Too?" then wrote: "We're trying really hard not to be so superficial - and failing miserably! Nicole Kidman was a hot mess at the world premiere of the Anti-God film The Golden Compass, Monday night in London. From the not-quite-right hair to the bad choice of lipstick and the face that doesn't move. Wrong all over! Keith Urban was at the premiere with his wife. At least he likes her."

- RAN a headline on a photograph of Kidman which simply said: "Lies". The item referred to the following quote from the actress: "I wear sunscreen and I don't smoke. I take care of myself. I'm proud to say that. To be honest, I am completely natural."

In the latest Hilton item published today, he refers to a new interview when he writes: "Katie Holmes reveals that Tom Cruise's two adopted children with Nicole Kidman, Connor and Isabella, call her mom.

"Says Holmes, 'His first two children are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me 'Mom.' So Tom understands the female bond and he loves it.'

"That must break Kidman's heart, if she has one.

"Just last month, in this interview, Nicole told the UK's GMTV that her kids DON'T call her mom.

"Said Kidman, 'My kids don't call me mommy, they don't even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it.

"Katie is more of a 'mom' to Connor and Isabella than Nicole is!!!

"That must hurt!"

Meanwhile, the Vatican today released a long editorial in which it condemns Nicole Kidman's latest film The Golden Compass, calling it "anti-Christmas."

Vatican paper L'Osservatore Romano said the movie advocates "a totally atheist ideology, the enemy of all religions, traditional and institutional, and of Christianity and Catholicism in particular".

The film tells the story of an orphan living in a parallel universe in which a dogmatic dictatorship - the Magisterium, which also refers to the teaching authority of the Roman Catholic Church - threatens to dominate the world.

"The fact that the film earned only $29.13 million in box office on the first weekend is a consolation," L'Osservatore Romano said.

The flick led the US box office on its opening weekend earlier this month but fell short of expectations for such a high-budget production.

The film, packed with special effects, cost $174.77 million to make.

Criticism from some religious groups led to a watering down of religious elements in the film, to the dismay of secular organisations and movie fans.

She's Come Undone

"too many mountains and not enough stairs
too many lives to lead and not enough time"

Those are two lines from one of my favorite songs from the 1970's. She's Come Undone...by The Guess Who.

I think it is safe to say that we can declare Nicole Kidman's career in free-fall. The Golden Compass is the rotten egg of the Christmas season. Margot at the Wedding isn't garnering any recognition for Kidman in the awards game. It looks like her choices have been quite telling in the last two years. Why? Kidman was always able to get good material, but if you look closely you can see that her choices since The Hours have been folly. I wonder now if her true love was the one picking her movie choices? I think perhaps he was. He knew about The Hours and it seems after that performance Kidman's career has dropped at such a rate that it is in danger of making her a mockery.

The woman needs a hit. Hollywood, give this woman a hit please!! Let me explain why we need to get this woman a hit. Kidman is in danger of becoming a parody of her former persona. When that happens where is she going to go? Television? I think not. The stage? Perhaps, but she has been there, done that, and she really hasn't shown that the stage holds much for her. So where is she going to go? She is going to suck the popularity of that which is popular, because above all things Nicole Kidman is a famewhore. She won't work to endear herself to the public though her altruism, her good works. Nope, that takes time and she would actually have to interact with those she holds beneath her. She will hold on for dear life to the one thing that gives her that access to the fame she needs like her monthly botox injection, her marriage. The down under wonder couple. This is the reason she needs a hit. She is desperate and being Mrs. Keith Urban may be all she has left. We know by now that Keith is will not be the one to leave. After rehab he grabbed on to her aura and held on until he got his road legs back. He does seem to have them, too. Granted he still pines for his "addiction replacement", Kidman, but he also has been able to have a pretty good experience on the road. Keith may be realizing he got his fame and he doesn't need that which she gave him. He paid his fare, he rode the train, but it is time to get off and power his own engine. Unfortunately, Kidman is still at the helm gunning toward the tunnel.

Nicole's game of playing with this man and his life, the bribes, the fame and attention has backfired and that my dear is called justice. So let's get her a hit, get Keith off the train and watch it go off the tracks taking that woman with it.

"it's too late
she has gone too far
she has lost the sun....."

Keith Urban... is he on the way back?

I’ve been a fan of Keith Urban’s since I saw him playing his heart out in a little bar in Florida in the late 90’s. He was skinny, a bit bashful and a hellova performer. His music was raw and passionate. He was hungry. You could feel it emanating from him.

I didn’t hear anything more about Keith until “But for the Grace of God” came out and it was exciting to think this was that same guy. I watched him grow as an artist…gain popularity and success. I loved that he was different, that he was so truly talented. I loved that he seemed like a regular guy, but his story was one of tenacity to overcome adversity. I loved that he seemed accessible to his fans and truly grateful for their support. In fact, I think it’s because of that long standing admiration that this last couple of years has been so painful to watch.

This uber talented man has been exposed as a womanizer, a drug addict (I thought that was old news), a drunk and a cheater. And the reason we found out about this…well that is all down to the relationship with Nicole Kidman. Who’d have thought that those who warned that this relationship could actually negatively impact his career were right? However, it seems clear to me that if he had not gotten together with NK we would never know about his drinking, drugging and promiscuity. We’d still be innocent admirers of the Keith Urban of old.

When Keith won CMA Male Vocalist and Entertainer Of The Year in 05, he had such career momentum. But instead of taking the “bull by the horns” and getting on with his career, he stopped touring and made his first “official” appearance with NK. That seems to have been for many fans, the first step toward rehab. The press became progressively more vicious toward Keith, he cancelled a show because of voice problems (and though that was likely legitimate, he was seen “canoodling” with NK while he was supposed to be on voice rest), and headlines focused on NK and their relationship, and not on his enormous talent. Keith, who had always been funny and quick in interviews, became cranky. He stopped showing interest in his fans. He started to look stressed and withdrawn to many. This once private man was no longer private. In some cases, the photo ops seemed to be staged. Rumors of a PR contract arose.

The wedding was a spectacle, which was not at all what I’d have expected from Keith. The honeymoon photos did not show two people in love…but showed two people who seemed distant and uncomfortable together. In spite of the reports of ‘happy couple’…Keith looked sullen and withdrawn. His performances during the summer of 06 were spotty. The ‘skeptics’ had predicted that something bad was going on…and they even said that there would be reports of him cheating and possibly doing drugs. Many scoffed at those claims, but we all know what happened in Oct 06.

Despite being balanced and at peace, Keith ended up in rehab … and the stories of one night stands with a porn star and a long standing affair with a party girl emerged. The press had a field day. Keith was portrayed as a drunken, drug addicted cheater and NK…the victim…became the woman who was standing by her man. Of course, she played the sad and injured wife, while going out drinking with friends and continuing to meet work commitments. Rumor has it that she really only visited him 3 times during his 90 day stay. Heck, he had to fly all the way to Australia on Christmas day, in order to spend some of the holidays with his wife of less than six months. For me, that spoke volumes about their relationship.

Keith emerged from rehab spouting gratitude to his wife…after all she had saved him. He has seemed subdued and humorless in many of his interviews. He continues to be cranky at times…on edge…uncomfortable with the press. He’s been inconsistent in his answers…sometimes volunteering very personal information and other times, refusing to discuss very general topics. His frequent tributes to his wife are disturbing.

I personally am not surprised by this behavior. He spent 90 days in rehab. In rehab, I am sure that no stones were left unturned re: the whys of his substance abuse issues and cheating. It is a stressful, life changing experience for anyone who takes it seriously. But I also have to admit to being surprised at some of the things that he’s said since rehab… in fact, I’ve been downright disappointed.

The biggest disappointment to me was the revelation that he’d actually considered not touring in 2007. What happened to the guy to whom music was like breathing? It seemed that NK had taken over his life including his career, and that he was sacrificing his career for the marriage, while NK didn’t make any concessions.

Why did Keith emerge from rehab so apparently changed? I honestly think that he came out of rehab having re-evaluated his life. He knew he screwed up big time…maybe part of the big screw up was getting married when he knew he wasn’t ready to commit to NK. I think he regretted the cheating and likely the drug use. Who knows? But for some reason, he has been trying to convince everyone (possibly most of all, himself) that he is with his once in a lifetime love and that she saved him. Most of the anti NKers are not buying this. Most of us don’t care for NK…find her to be a manipulator in the truest sense of the word.

Because of the changes in Keith, some fans are totally disenchanted. Some can’t get past the fact that he used to project an image of a private man…a barefoot poet of sorts … a man who could be the guy next door but who happens to be the most talented artist out there. Some feel that he’s lied to the fans about who he is and so, he’s a fraud. Others dislike NK for many reasons…her apparent lack of maternal instinct while using her kids for photo ops, her manipulation of the media to project an image of the eternal victim, her choice of highly sexual roles, some with children…and they feel that Keith has been tainted because of this association. Some fans are angry at the changes they see in Keith and some have become “x-fans”.

Without a doubt, Keith’s fan base has begun to erode. His singles aren’t making it to #1. His CD hasn’t sold as briskly as the label expected. He isn’t selling out venues any more. But is Keith’s career a lost cause? I think some fans are gone for good…they couldn’t separate the private man from his music and so, can’t listen to the music anymore because to them, it isn’t honest. For them, his music has been tainted by his marriage and relationship to NK. For some, it isn’t a lost cause. Some are holding out hope that the Keith Urban of old will come back and show the world that he’s more than NK’s loser husband.

I’ve been waiting to see him perform live myself to know whether there is hope. Some fans were reporting that his shows were lack luster…most were reporting great shows. Reviews were almost universally positive. I saw him three times in the last few weeks and I can tell you that they were great shows. They were all sold out. He was funny, interactive, and putting 110% into the performance. That’s all I needed to see.

I could care less if he continues to spout BS about NK. In the end, what does his marriage have to do with his music? Some say that the last CD was terrible so proves he has lost his muse. I didn’t like his LP&TWCT as much as previous albums myself. But the truth is, it wasn’t a complete loss. It has sold nearly 1.5 million copies. It received critical acclaim and was nominated for a Grammy in 2006. It was not Keith’s usual sound. Many people felt that was NK’s influence. It might have been…or maybe it’s the way his music is evolving. I am holding on for the next album to see what the future holds. The truth is that all artists have some CD’s that are better than others. If he continues to produce the pop sound that predominates on the LP&TWCT CD, I may move on, as I prefer music with a bit more of a rootsy edgy sound. But I’m willing to stick around and see if he is able to produce another Golden Road or Be Here. Imagine the possibilities!

Some don’t like that he sold an image to the public that was not accurate. I suspect that many of the creative people who make the music, art and movies that we enjoy are very different in real life from their public personas. PR teams are paid to create and sustain an image for public consumption. Keith’s team did that successfully for years and now that image has been blown out of the water. He is no different than most musical artists, except he was “exposed” so now we know way too much about the real Keith Urban.

I personally never bought the barefoot poet image…and maybe that’s why I’m not as disappointed as some. I see a very flawed man. A man who has a creative soul but who is immature, insecure and self absorbed. As a result, I believe he isn’t equipped to deal effectively with the strains associated with life in general, and especially life in the limelight. I think he spiraled out of control in the fall of 06, because of the situation he found himself in. I think rehab caused him to reflect on his life, accept the mistakes he made, and put him in a position to try to get his life back on track. I don’t know if this marriage is “real” or for PR purposes. In the end, that doesn’t matter to me if the man creates kick ass music.

If he spouts tributes to NK, for me it’s a non-issue (don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it; it really makes him sound weak). What matters to me the most is that his music is important to him and he needs it. Recently, he seems to indicate that he need his music…loves touring and generally seems more involved in his career. Skeptics who attended concerts as recently as Nashville in December, described Keith as on fire. He was the old Keith. They said he had that sparkle in his eye. That’s all that matters to me.

I consider myself lucky to be able to compartmentalize things as I do. I can be ticked off at him for the BS he spouts in interviews and the way NK makes him look p-whipped. The inconsistencies between what he says and what he does annoy me. But I still see that immense talent shining through … and now he seems to revel in the music. He seems to be on fire. He seems to love performing ….he looks most comfortable on that stage…he’s enjoying his touring mates … appreciating his fans. That’s all I need to hear to give me hope that Keith Urban is coming back. Like I said before, I don’t care who he’s married to. I just want him to be committed to his career and his music.

How about you? Can you get past the private life BS and let him get back to the music?

Kidman Needs New Material

This is the week where we will see if the Golden Compass will be a box office prize or another bomb. I can’t wait. During this lull in our Kidman/ Keith coverage I went browsing through that marvelous tool called Google. What did I learn? In the last twenty years Nicole Kidman has said a lot about her relationships.

Let's look at some of these statements about and from the tight faced Nicole Kidman.

"We are committed. I can't picture my life without him." as told to Liz Smith.

"He took my breath away- it was a chemical reaction."

"My mother said that we looked like two people who have always been looking for a best friend."

She was spotted dancing a very sexy dance for her husband.

They live quite simply: quiet dinners, trips to the gym, a movie night.

"I hope when I am 80 years old I am still married to this man."

"We vow to never be apart for more than three weeks."

"We are trying to find balance, but we are really just two gypsies."

"You have to go back to the simple things, holding hands, walking down the street, or spooning if you are lying in bed".

Wow, she is so committed! Maybe I was wrong about this whole Keith thing. Maybe it isn't arranged or fake or just not very believable. I was thinking about this as I was watching the video of Keith standing alone and sad at the London premiere of Golden Compass, while Kidman worked her way up the press line only to walk right into the theater not even caring where Keith was. Keith actually followed with his head down and a frown on his face a few minutes later.

As I read this stuff why am I getting a mixed message? Because while she is saying almost these same lines to reporters these days, these lines were actually said originally about her one true love, Tom Cruise. Yep, most of these lines were originally said in 1998 or 1999.

So what are we to believe? As some want to believe that Keith and Nicole have this wonderful love story, the reality is far more different. I wasn't wrong to think it was fake in July, 2005, nor is it any more real in December, 2007. Nicole has a movie to sell and if the movie isn't strong she tries to sell herself. I am not buying a ticket or her tales. How about you?

And Nicole, get some new material. This just doesn't it cut it any longer.

A Review of the Greatest Hits

Slant Magazine
(3 & 1/2 stars out of 5)
Keith Urban
Greatest Hits
by Jonathan Keefe
Posted: November 24, 2007

As his first Greatest Hits anthology makes abundantly clear, there hasn't been a more consistent—both in terms of quality and actual radio hits—singles artist in mainstream country music over the last decade than Keith Urban. The 15 singles included here represent an uninterrupted string of Top 5 hits, including seven #1's, and what elevates Urban's output far above other radio favorites like Rascal Flatts and Kenny Chesney is the quality of his material and the fact that he's actually talented.

Combining massive hooks with Urban's expressive voice and first-rate guitar work, singles like "Somebody Like You" and "Days Go By" are some of the rare examples of pop-country that aren't complete embarrassments either as "pop" or "country." Even when he skews more than a bit emo on ballads like "You'll Think of Me" and "Making Memories of Us," Urban is a strong enough singer to keep the performances from being cloying.

But Greatest Hits isn't without a few significant problems. Using the radio edits of 12 of the 18 singles may have allowed for the inclusion of a few extra songs, but those edits trim many of the standout bridges and outros that highlight one of Urban's biggest selling points: his guitar playing. It makes it a bit disingenuous that he's shown holding a guitar in almost every photo in the album's packaging. A more significant problem, though, is the way that the album's two new singles, "Romeo's Tune" and "Got It Right This Time (The Celebration)," follow in a trend started on his bloated, overblown Love, Pain & the Whole Crazy Thing. That album displayed a tendency for schmaltzy overproduction in place of the slick pop hooks of his earlier cuts.

The bombast has taken a definite toll on both Urban—his performance of "Everybody" on the recent CMA telecast was ragged, and his voice shreds on the coda of "Got It Right This Time"—and the formerly consistent quality of his output. On the new songs, Urban sounds like he's threatening to bust out his best impressions of early-'90s hits by Richard Marx and Phil Collins. And if that's the direction Urban is heading, this Greatest Hits package might be all the more valuable as a document of how good he really was before it all went south.

http://www.slantmagazine.com/music/music_review.asp?ID=1240

What harm could possibly be done?

Mark January 15, 2008 on your calendars. Why? Because that is the day that Andrew Morton's book on Nicole's one true love will be published. Why would that cause any worry? Nicole is over and done with him. We are hearing all about her great new marriage. How she is so in love with the hired hand and what a great mother she is. How can anyone believe she would be upset about the potential fall-out from this book?

Make no mistake about the recent upheaval of “Nicole in love” stories. The appearances, magazine articles, the sly comments, Nicole has been working her bony butt off trying to manipulate the media and public about this very subject. It quit being about the stability of her current marriage but now it is about the failures in her past marriage.

Poor Nicole, so young when she met her one true love at only 23. He was married and gorgeous; of course his marriage was strained. But they were on a film set and he took a look at her with her red hair and china doll looks and he was swept away. Nicole was equally taken with him. By December of that year they were married and for the next ten years it was bliss.

We all know the story and I don't want to spoil the book but we know thatjust before their tenth anniversary her one true love left her with the phrase, "Nic knows." She hasn't recovered since. She tried with boyfriends in various careers. She even manipulated and controlled the courtship and marriage of her current public relationship but ... what is most interesting is that she still talks about her love for her former husband. Does she want him back? Does he hold something she wants?

It was safe with him. He could manipulate the media. He helped her find roles to play. He bought her clothes and jewels and two children when pregnancy wasn't going to be a choice. They moved all over the world and went to the best parties. It was a wonderful life.

But, listening to Kidman these days, it wasn't. She suffered to get the children she has, they never stayed in one place. She had pressure from people around her who felt she couldn't be the actress she should be because of him. Today she is happy. So in love with an extraordinary man who, damn his own gifts and talent, is more than willing to drop his proverbial pants and tell the world this is hers. Her children have been spotted with her and when they aren't available her sister’s brood will suffice. She is finally getting acclaim for a role where she plays a manipulative shrew. She talks about how she is at a place she loves and yet, she could be the key to telling tales. She could be the one to confirm or deny what will be published. Make no mistake that will never happen. So keep up the “life is great” stories and don't doubt that we will hear more. Kidman is using the tools she learned from the master, only they may not work this time.

Urban Myths Take on a Kidman Interview

You know this is a fun interview, not a meaning-of-life interview.
I didn't. Good warning.

What the hell are you doing interviewing this woman if you want a fun interview?

There's a scene in "Margot at the Wedding" where you climb a really big tree. Were you scared?
I just loved being up the tree, which I think is probably a metaphor for me because if I can sit up in the clouds I like to stay up there.

OK is it just me, or does this make absolutely no sense? If only the crazy woman had fallen and ended this disaster.

Do you forget your keys?
Wallets, keys, bags, coats. I tend to be a little daydreamy. I'm not a good driver.

Too bad she doesn't drive more....and really fast on twisting winding roads...by herself, mind you.

Do your friends get annoyed when you daydream?
I don't think so. [Pause] I'm terrible for this kind of interview. Vince Vaughn would be funnier, right?

She paused because she couldn't think of any "friends" she may have.

You're doing fine. Try this: what's your husband's best physical feature?
Um, his heart.

OK..that confirms her total idiocy if the only thing she can come up with is his heart. Hell...that's not a part that really even entered my mind.

I think it's his hair.
He has a lot of hair.

That's really digging deep, Nicole.

Who takes longer to do their hair in the morning?
Neither, because we both just have bed hair. I'm very quick. I can get ready in five minutes.

Funny...I think this is the first time I've believed her ... she isn't lying. She has bed head all the time.

Come on. Really?
Yeah, and I'm 20 minutes in the hair and makeup chair. They call me the quickest actress in the business.

I'm sure this is true because she is so natural. Right. Her hair is a complete shambles...and there's not a lot that can be done with plastic skin and lips that are swollen and disfigured. It has to cost a lot in lip color though...and they must have to spend some time covering up the botox injection sites.

You used to be guarded about your personal life, but recently you've opened up more.
Not really. I think it's just the way it's been interpreted. Basically I'm exactly the same. I have a pretty private life. I don't go to the big parties. I have my work and my life and I keep them separate.

What a liar. Yes...she is very private, to the point that we know her obstetrical / gynecological history. We also continue to hear about her marriage and divorce of 6 years ago and her engagement to a man other than her husband...and she never attends parties or premieres. What a private simple down to earth girl she is. Wow!

People seem to relate to you a lot more after your divorce.
I suppose we all want to know we're not alone in the dark places. Name something and I've pretty much been through it, and you just have to put one foot in front of the other and at times you think you're not going to be able to do that, and then somehow you keep walking forward.

OK...now get the violin out for her. She's in her element looking for sympathy. What has she been through? She lost a baby and that's sad, but it happens to many, many women every day. She got divorced...so 50% of marriages end in divorce. What is so terrible about NK's life? She has more $$ than she knows what to do with...two kids who she should have been a mother to...a successful career...but she loves to garner sympathy by trying to portray herself as the eternal victim. I don't understand why people don't see through her.

Are you, like, the queen of Australia?
No, Cate Blanchett is. I'll be the lady in waiting.

Well...this IS an admission...possibly the second accurate thing the woman said in this interview.

Celebrity death match—you or Cate?
I'd vote for Cate. She's amazing.

I'd pay to see this. And Cate would take her hands down. I would love to see Keith there to cheer Cate on too.

This was an actual interview... we just added the commentary. http://www.newsweek.com/id/71001

Oh that Keithy!!!!

I hate him. I love him. I can't stand him. I want him. I hope he suffers. I hope he doesn't get hurt. I won't buy his CD. I will download the new song. I won't go see him. I will still see him. Is he in love? Is it a contract? Did he lie all along? Did he take advantage of us? Is he really the man I thought he was?

If you are a skeptic, Keith Urban is either the biggest bastard you have ever encountered or a sad insecure shadow of the man he used to be, or something in the middle. He has been all of that for this writer. I have been around for a while. I figured out a long time before Nicole Kidman entered the picture that Keith Urban was not a barefoot lovelorn poet. He wasn't my savior. He was a human being. A talented, good looking man granted, but he was also his own person. He made a conscious choice to seduce the minivan mom. He and his people learned what sold country music and who was buying it. Thus, that guitar guy became sex on legs and frankly this early mid-life woman found that appealing. How many of you thought of Keith as your free pass? And he played it. Win the loyal bunnies and prove later that you are credible musician. Was it easy for him?

Did he sell his soul or just a package? Was it such a chore for him to meet all those women who had these fantasies about him? Some say it was. Some say he was told how he would be portrayed and he went along with it. Others say he liked his fans and that meeting all these women made a very insecure man more secure.

Keith played his game as an expert. The girlfriends were kept in the shadows. They attended the award shows and lived with him in Nashville and on the road. The man had a private life. Yet, he continued to meet the fans on his own. The shy and very talented man was giving something back to a large number of people. This worked for both Keith and the fans. More and more he got noticed. His fans got him noticed. He didn't have to pay anyone to promote him, he already paid for it.

Around 2004, the fans started to splinter. It wasn't because Keith was doing anything differently, but as he became more successful and the desire to gain more fans took over the cracks in the carefully constructed persona. Around this time was when Camp Urban started compiling the infamous list of the unbalanced. The internet and the rise of message boards also helped build this intense frenzy that was Keith Urban. As more diverse people became fans doubts as to if Keith was really real started to emerge. If you didn't believe the spin 100% you weren't a "real" fan. People were questioned about their loyalty. Loyalty to what? A group created persona?

With the emergence of the scam known as the sideshow the skeptics broke off. Most skeptics were labeled as such and were banned from the public message boards. Why the fear in someone’s opinion? Because it blew apart the whole myth that is Keith Urban. If he can be seen with this actress person then what else had he done to be famous? And that is where we are today.

I am as responsible for his greatest hits CD as any other Keith Urban fan. I also know that I was part of a plan that was put in place in some office in LA or New York or Nashville in 1999. What getting involved with the actress did was make all of us wonder who this guy was. Many were pissed because he wasn't who we believed him to be. The creep actually married her. He took this sideshow that far. He is still in that myth and that is what confuses so many of us. I do not think there is any love in this union. Nor do I think he has changed since rehab. I also believe in his talent. It has been hard to do that in the last 18 months, even the stage show is more packaged. One complaint is that Keith has taken the sex out of the show. I agree with that but I also was entertained. So, like so many of us, I made the choice to stay a fan of this guy. I don't like his personal life at all and I hate how they have used that to make him more famous. But I do like to see him play. I learned to listen to him play and not let myself be played. I think it is a lesson many of his fans should learn. I don't hate him. That would mean I let myself care and that really wouldn't be healthy. Keith Urban is a human being with a gift. There are a lot like him out there. Just be wise when you are being spoon fed - sometimes you need to spit as well as swallow.

The "Codifying Manipulation Awards"

Why is Nicole Kidman really going to show up on Wednesday at the CMAs? To support her husband? To be seen by a national television audience after the writers’ strike canceled her late night appearance this week? To calm those rumors about her marriage and her appearance? It's all of the above. I am also going to go out on a limb and predict that because of their front row seating arrangement we will see these same pictures of these two for the next two years. And why not? This is the Kidman style; a hybrid of the style created by her former husband. Get a good series of pictures shot in a way that she controls, and the tabloids have shots to use for whatever stories they or Kidman's PR people are going to come up with. If it works don't fix it, right? Wrong. It's not working and, Nicole, this is where we the skeptics can claim victory.

Remember Black Wednesday, November 16, 2005. One day, actually only ten hours, after Keith Urban received his award for Entertainer of The Year, People.com treated us to pictures of Kidman and Urban in Boston with a ring on her finger. The person known as Keith Urban died on that day. He became known as Kidman’s boyfriend/ fiancé. He became a pawn in the Nicole Kidman vs. her former husband battle. Keith, still to this day, doesn't matter. It is always about Nicole and will be even after they eventually divorce. There she was with her self-purchased ring on, playing “are they” or “aren't they”. She used the publicists’ dream machine People magazine to get her story across. The first magazine pictures of these two were in People and its sister publication in Australia, Who. It got Nicole what she wanted: her fairy tale wedding. We all believe they are happy and she is aging naturally, don't we? Nicole, the interesting thing about this is that after two years we still don't believe either about you.

The methods that Kidman used to push this idea of her happiness, photos, sightings and strategically published articles don't work anymore. Those of us who have a college education in Publicity 101 have seen that those methods don't work because there is something much more powerful; that is the internet. Blogs, message boards, and columnists all have a power that Kidman and Camp Kidman can't manipulate. There are actually “real” people at these events that Kidman and Keith attend, and they will often go on the ‘net and tell their story, and often that's not what Kidman wants you to know. For instance, at the ARIA’s there was this united front of a happy, happy couple that the whole red carpet saw. What wasn't seen was that when Kidman arrived and saw the cameras, she took her coat off to display her see-through dress. Miss “afraid of the sun” didn't wear sunglasses nor a hat and she knew exactly what she was doing by wearing that dress. She knew that in LA and New York her one true love was "presenting" his new wife at his movie premiere. I know that one of the goals of Wednesday night is to get in the tabs the same week as her former husband’s first wedding anniversary. What people didn't see (except on Youtube) from the ARIA’s was how bored Kidman was during the telecast. She wasn't there other than to wear that dress. Even her blown kisses to Keith were sent after she saw where the camera was. That is the power of the Internet. People magazine was exposed in a CNN special about publicity and it was the great Ted Casablanca who pointed out that People is where PR teams send ready-made articles that push their clients’ agendas.

Kidman can say she hasn't had any work done to her body, but the power of pictures proves otherwise. She can say that she spent her first wedding anniversary with her husband, yet there were no pictures or witnesses. She can say there was a fireworks display for her birthday and a party for his, but since there is no one coming forward with pictures or talking about it, there isn't proof; and that is what is undoing this whole facade. Kidman uses the media, but yet the internet shows the subtle manipulation she uses. Look at the power of the internet with Kidman and her smoking. She claims she doesn't smoke, yet there are pictures that were published on Laineygossip.com that prove she has in the past. This creates a sense of doubt about what she is saying. As a skeptic this gives me a sense of hope. If she plays games with the media about her looks and her habits you don't have to be a genius to see she is doing that about her marriage.

That is why the People magazine interview with Keith doesn't really bother me. I seriously doubt that Keith Urban believes any of the drivel he professed in his paean to Kidman. He, above anyone else, has seen how the game works from Kidman's end to the other side which is proving this fairy tale isn't how it is being depicted. Keith wins Male Vocalist due to his stellar performance this year? Kidman and Keith make out on the front row - who cares? The truth is out there and it always rises above the slime.

My Wish for the CMA's

If, and that's a BIG IF, Mr. Kidman wins an award tomorrow night, my wish is that instead of being presented with one of those "awards", he is presented with a GOAT. A real live goat. That way he can thank his Beautiful, Beautiful Princess in the most appropriate way. He can give her the goat she longs for to live with on her farm in Nashvillle. And, I truly hope that the goat has to sit in her lap for the length of the show. Wouldn't that make a beautiful, beautiful photo op?

A definition from the Urban Dictionary

I would like to refocus your attention on the well thought out and completely nebulous phrase “international commitments”. It was used as the reason for Keith and his people to cancel 10 gigs in Europe in October. That phrase caused a tremendous amount of speculation as to what it meant in terms of Keith’s career and personal life.

No better time like the present to review just what those "international commitments" turned out to be.

The first of October started in Oz with a bang, actually a crash, but in the end it was just a mishap. No conflicts there.

After spending the weekend playing with the wife in New York, it was off to Nashville to tape the CMT Invitation Only event on the 11th. You know the event where only the local fans were invited to send in their head shot if they wanted to be considered to attend the taping. ‘Nuff said.

But wait! Conflict #1; on the 10th and 11th he was to have played in Munich and Frankfurt. So for those fans, the CMT taping was his “international commitment”.

Remaining in Nashville, Keith attended the ASCAP Songwriters Awards event on the 14th. Keith wasn’t nominated for an award that evening but he went to click rings and hang out. Nice picture with Taylor Swift too.

But wait! Conflict #2; on the 14th he was to have played in Berlin. So for those fans the ASCAP event was his “international commitment”.

Later that week, Keith went to LA to tape the talk show circuit. The Tonight Show on the 17th and then taping the Ellen show on the 18th. The 19th was a busy day for Keith. He was on After Midnight, then Jimmy Kimmel Live. We all know the Ellen show didn’t happen but he stayed to play for the audience.

But wait! Conflict #3; on the 17th he was to have played in Belfast. The 19th he was to have played in London. So for those fans the LA talk show circuit was his “international commitment”.

As for the remaining cancelled concert dates; the 20th in Manchester, 21st in Glasgow, 23rd in Birmingham and the 25th in Dusseldorf, he was probably traveling between the US and Oz. Maybe following the wife around while she prepared for his 40th birthday bash. Who knows?

But wait! So for those fans his “international commitments” were…zip, nada, zilch, nothing.

So there you have it! According to the Urban “Balanced Life” Dictionary, first edition, International commitments = shameless self-promotion.

Too bad Keith didn’t think that the fans in Europe were worth the amount of face time/air time he received in the US. Celebrities need to remember what they say and what is published about them is not forgotten and is rather easily retrieved.

Planning on going back to Europe anytime soon Keith? You might want to wait on that, or maybe just visit as a tourist.

Dear Keith,

We, the fans, are embarrassed... aren't you?

Britney & Nicole - Viva la Difference?

Is it so far fetched to compare these two famewhores? Let's look at the obvious facts, in no particular order.

Both dropped out of school.
Both got famous at an early age.
Both had men marry them for money and fame.
Both seem to need to go to the plastic surgeon from time to time.
Both have two children.
Both have dabbled in unorthodox religions.
Both are addicted to fame.
Both have the paparazzi on speed dial.
Both have strained relationships with their mothers.
Both have close almost too close relationships with their sisters.
Both have careers that are failing and/or faulty.
Britney listened to Keith Urban music while in rehab.
Nicole was responsible for ruining Keith Urban's music and driving him to rehab.
Both say very questionable things to the media that lead to questions about their stability.
Both have children that are being raised by their fathers.

and it goes on and on

Yes there is a vast age difference, Kidman is now over 40 and Spears is only 25, but both in this writers opinion, are two train wrecks we can't help but watch.

Did I mention they both have cellulite?

The Many Phases of Keith Urban-Kidman

It’s been a busy month for Keith Urban-Kidman. He’s been bouncing back and forth between the US and Oz, which has given us the chance to see many sides of Keith. A few of them are listed here, such as “Private”, “Confused”, “Uncomfortable”, “D-List”, “Suck Up”, and “Pawn”.

After listening to the interviews, it seems that most interviewers in the US that know Keith will talk about his music, and then maybe (and most probably) mention his personal life. In Oz, it seems that his personal life is far more interesting than his music. That doesn’t seem to bother the “private” Keith. Keith Kidman likes to talk about his marriage more than his music there.

Keith did the talk show circuit in L.A., but it didn’t quite turn out like it was planned. Jimmy Kimmel, who obviously doesn’t know all that much about Keith, wanted to talk about his wife which made the “confused” Keith do a good deal of fidgeting. Jimmy’s other guest that evening helped Keith out talking about him as a picker. Nice save Terry Bradshaw! Keith was not only “confused”, but “uncomfortable”.

Then the Ellen show didn’t go quite right either. That was the week she had the mishap with the puppy. Hmmm, upstaged by a puppy. Well, puppies are like babies, we all love them, so that’s okay Keith. It was cool of Keith to stay and play for the crowd that had assembled to see him and the band. That was an “Urban” moment.

Back in Oz, Keith attended the ARIA’s, the event for music much like the Grammy’s in the US. Red carpet, lots of reporters, lots of photographers and lots and lots of fans lining the way. All was good until someone noticed that Keith’s wife was walking the red carpet with him. Hmmm, upstaged by the wife. Well, Keith’s wife, unlike puppies and babies, is not loved by all, so it’s not okay, Keith.

They do love her in Oz. So much so that she is the one that made all the headlines. Not because she has any real talent for anything, but because she was wearing a black lace see-through handkerchief for a dress with beige shoes adorned with pompoms that looked like bedroom slippers. She signed autographs and smiled for pictures. Lots and lots of pictures of her in that dress, bending over, showing off her, um, underwear, which thank heavens she had on. This just after an interview where she stated she only dresses for her husband. That outfit was for the benefit of the paparazzi, not for Keith. Interesting that she was given a coat to put on by her publicist. Thank you for that Ms. Day. There were a few pictures of the “D-list husband” Keith, but you have to hunt for those.

The musical talent that converged in the building that evening had to be phenomenal. The press hardly mentioned Keith or any of the other musicians at the event that evening. Silverchair won a bunch of awards and hardly got any press. Keith performed with the John Butler Trio and he was amazing. He was on, looked happy and sounded great. Another one of those “Urban” moments.

Winning that award had to be a much needed musical pat on the back for Keith. How nice that the “suck up” Keith was able to properly thank his wife for her inspiration. And how nice that he conveniently forgot his fans that made the album, thus the nomination, thus the award, possible. So, his wife is his savior, and she also was the inspiration for an album that consists of songs that were mostly done before their “relationship”.

Keith will be back in the US to start the next leg of his tour this week. This leg doesn’t allow for many long breaks. Wonder how he’s going to accomplish the “12 day rule” of running back to Oz to pander to the wife?

The CMA Awards will take place on November 7th. Keith will be performing. He is nominated. Will they do the red carpet in Nashville? Will she blow him kisses? Will she be seen looking down while he’s performing? She doesn’t dance when he performs, she says. She only dances in the kitchen! Or pole dances on yachts when the paparazzi are around.

The two nights following the CMA’s, the wife will be on the New York talk show circuit. Will she be uncomfortable when she is asked why she isn’t happy in her marriage? Will she be uncomfortable when they talk about Keith’s wins (or lack thereof) at the CMA’s? Nope. You see, they will only talk about her! It’s all about her after all. Which leads to the last and most encompassing phase of Keith, the “pawn”.

How many phases of Keith can you find? Play at your own risk!

Nicole Kidman Needs a Time Out

Where to start? Someone, somewhere, thought Nicole Kidman had something worthy to say again. Maybe because she says such insipid stuff or is it because she was married to Tom Cruise that these editors know she will get a headline? Why? Who knows, but Kidman has been spewing her load of wretched doublespeak, this time to Interview Magazine. Interview, founded by Andy (everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes) Warhol. Interview, a magazine that felt Keith Urban was worthy of two interviews in a two month period last year. These editors in their New York City high rises haven't a clue as to what the average, normal, functioning human being finds interesting. But they put Kidman and her waning popularity on the cover. What she had to say was again either the ravings of one who's botox has seeped into her skull, or her noticeable lack of formal education causes her to resort to over-talking and connecting ideas that have no place being connected.

What did she say? Basically, who cares? And that is it. She insults Keith Urban every time she opens her mouth. She insults her children in verbiage. She insults the person who is reading the interview. I have reached my limit.

I don't hate Nicole Kidman. I wouldn't pay any attention to her except she forced all of us to acknowledge her presence in Keith Urban's life. I am not going to rehash the PR relationship. Anything he tries to do positively for his career is trumped by her coming into the mix and reminding the world he was nothing until her. Well Nicole, he was and is someone, even if you don't see that. I am so sick of your babble about love and relationships. It is somewhat easy if you don't like where you are - MOVE. If you can't love the person you are with find someone else. What makes your life all that worthy of anyone’s concern? How many of us have been left by our partners? How many of us have to raise kids in a very tricky world? You aren't unique, you aren't even comparable. So what do we do?

I propose that in January of 2008 we ignore Nicole Kidman. Starting in January - no more talking about her. No posting articles about her on web sites or internet message boards. Ignore her. Forget she exists. Freeze the Granny Freeze. No comments regardless of what happens. We all know that no one watches her movies. Avoid her on TV; don't buy magazines that put her on the cover. Perhaps, just perhaps, ignoring her we can all get some peace of mind. I doubt she will care nor notice, narcissists only look at themselves. It will make me feel much better jumping off a ship she has been steering for way too long.

Savior or Warden? A Reflection on Rehab

We actually like Keith Urban. Some of the commenters and a certain fan site down-under paint us as harpy shrews that couldn't have Keith or are jealous of Keith and his marriage or eat repulsive amounts of junk food. Nah, we are just wise to a number of facts that seem to go over others heads. Today I want to reflect on Keith before rehab, particularly that time between June 25 and October 20, 2006. Keith, the fans, and some around him seemed to not acknowledge what was going on. For Keith, it’s obvious why. Others didn't want to acknowledge that something was amiss.

But in retrospect one person in particular had to know what was going on and that person was Nicole Kidman. Some feel that ever since her gaze took in Keith at G’Day LA in January 2005, Kidman has been on a quest to control him. And if you look at the past you can see how this has worked. First, she eliminated the competition. Second, she went after Keith's inner circle. Many of the people near and dear to Keith are gone and they acknowledge that it was the Kidman influence that drove them away. Currently, there are several people who, while they may work for Keith Urban, have a dual allegiance to Mrs. Urban (oops, I mean Mrs. Kidman - I forgot she asks hotel staff to refer to her as that). Are they on her payroll? Would it matter? There are people out there who "help" keep Keith stable. Third, she has alienated Keith from his music and his fans. He was accessible; he no longer is, and if she is on tour he is unapproachable. His music has suffered because there has been an overriding need to connect his recent songs to his personal life.

A year ago all of these things were in place or were happening, and many didn't see it. But Kidman knew. More importantly, how could she not have missed the sorry state her husband was in? In looking at pictures from this period, Keith appears wasted a great deal. Was he? Apparently, he may have been. With all the people in his inner circle gone and his fans only really seeing him in pictures, he had just a few dates in 06. Who had the most access to him? Yes, his wife. Why did she let it get so bad that he had to go to rehab? Why couldn't she have stopped him from hitting bottom? Was she an enabler? Was she the cause of his slip from recovery? I don't know. Perhaps she did play a part in his slide. He was the one who fell but she was the one who was standing there watching, and according to many around at the time, you couldn't miss what was happening.

He now gives her credit for his survival. Why? Because she made a call or two to get Keith in Betty Ford? Why was that? If you look at the posed PR snaps, the first time ever anyone got the paparazzi on the grounds of the Betty Ford Center, I will venture to say it was not about Keith getting healthy and more about a photo op for Kidman. She flew to another country for the holidays. She was only spotted at Betty Ford three times in the three months he was there.

Does Kidman deserve the praise she gets from her husband? No.

It is more and more apparent that Keith was entered into rehab to get out of the glare of any more “distasteful” stories. That was the real disease wasn't it Nicole? Your husband was a human being who had issues.

Since he has been out she has taken him to events over and over that will test his will to stay sober. Yes, he does choose to go, but what if didn't? Does he really have a choice? I know I am preaching to the choir here, but how can the world not see that this is a marriage of photo ops and one-upmanship. It makes one wonder where Keith would be without her? I will venture a guess that it might in a happier place with someone he loves (and who loves him) by his side that no one knows nor cares about. Having the best career he ever could and perhaps being able to keep his demons down.

Keith & Nicole in NYC

A conversation between Keith and Nicole at the Carlisle in NYC, the afternoon of the premiere of her movie, Margot at the Wedding:

Keith: So baby…tonight is the premiere of your movie…are you nervous?

NK: Are you on something? Are you? Of course I’m not nervous. I’m Nicole Kidman…I’ve won an Oscar, you know.

Keith: Right...sure. So…do you want me to go with you…or do you prefer to do the red carpet on your own?

NK: Well, of course I don’t want you near me when I do the red carpet…you just don’t look right on my arm. But you will take me to the premiere and bring me home. We want everyone to know how totally dedicated you are to me.

Keith: You mean you want me to escort you to the theatre and wait til you’re done? Just hang out there for you?

NK: Do you have a problem with that?

Keith: No…no…of course not, baby. Sounds great. I can wait with the chauffeurs.

NK: And I don’t want you to talk about that ridiculous accident on your motorcycle. It is bound to detract from my night…so if they ask you, deny it even happened. And I’m going to tell them it was essentially nothing. So get your story straight.

Keith: Well, I tried to tell them it was a minor incident.

NK: It wasn’t even an incident…it was NOTHING.

Keith: OK… the road rash and contusions are nearly healed and of course, the pain from the broken bones in my foot is much better. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, anyway.

NK: Good. And I’ve found one of Tom’s suits for you to wear. They’re so nice…I love to lay in bed with them and roll around on them and just smell them. Oh…I miss my Tom….erhh….I mean, I think that the suit will fit you without alteration. And if it needs a nip or tuck here or there, I have pins.

Keith: You mean that striped suit on the bed in your bedroom?

NK: Yes…don’t you like it? Tom looked so handsome in it. He loved that suit. I kept it after we…well I hate to say it…after we … uhmm…split up. That was such a mistake…he’ll regret that someday. But anyway…you are going to wear it and that’s it.

Keith: Well … to be honest, it isn’t really my style. I have a different suit that I think would be better for me.

NK: Are you saying you refuse to wear Tom’s suit that I picked out for you?

Keith: I’m not refusing to wear it, Nic. But it doesn’t really fit well and … it was Tom’s. I mean, I’d rather not wear his suit.

NK: Well like it or not, you’re wearing it. Get used to the idea. And Tom’s shoes with the lifts in them are at the end of my bed. Feel free to pick the suit and the shoes up and take them to your bedroom to change.

Keith: I don’t want to wear lifts, Nic. I don’t care if you’re taller than I am. Everyone knows that … it’s not a secret.

NK: I’m sick of feeling like I’m dating my dumpy son. You’ll wear the lifts and look like you are enjoying yourself. Is that clear? And then, can you come to my room and do my toes?

Keith: Yeah, that’s clear. What color of polish do you want?

NK: Red I think…yes, that’ll look good with my white or beige dress. Which do you think?

Keith: I think you should try something with a bit more color personally…

NK: Are you questioning my sense of style? I supposed you’re going to tell me that my hair is all wrong too?

Keith: Nic…I was just expressing an opinion. And I really think you would look better in a dress that isn’t so bland…and maybe you could give your hair a bit of color too? I loved your red hair…like in Dead Calm…that was really beautiful.

NK: Are you joking? You have no taste at all. By the way, while you’re out with me … when you hold my hand and walk out there in front of me, look protective. Everyone needs to understand that you adore me. I want them to know how much you adore me…is that clear?

Keith: Yes, Nic. I’ll smile and squeeze your hand and make everyone believe we adore each other.

NK: Don’t worry about me...show them how much YOU adore ME. And if anyone makes an attempt to talk to me or look at me or make eye contact with me, tell them to stop. I don’t want anyone to even think that they can look at me, except Rupert of course.

Keith: Right…no eye contact, no talking. Sounds like a fantastic time.

NK: Are you being sarcastic?

Keith: Never, baby. It sounds like your kind of night, that’s for sure.

NK: It IS my night. And if Isadora and Cletus call…tell them that Mummy is busy and I’ll call them some time next week. I’m sick of their whining that I don’t have time for them. We had three lovely days together last July…they are so selfish and demanding.

Keith: They’re just kids, Nic. I think it’s nice that they want to see you. When they came to my show in LA, I was really excited to have them there.

NK: Well, then … you spend time with them. They bore me…I guess you have something in common with them, after all! You all bore me.

A Sneak Peek into Urban's Greatest Hits

We at Urban Myths are happy to give all of you a sneak peak into Keith Urban's Greatest Hits. We have learned that Keith got his beautiful, beautiful princess in the studio to record a remake of the Barbra Streisand/ Neil Diamond hit You Don't Bring Me Flowers. The lyrics have been changed to reflect the happy couple’s current relationship. Since we could get into big trouble if we had an actual link to the song… we have to settle for the lyrics.

Here is a guide to the vocal parts...
K = Keith Urban
BBP = Keith's contractual wife

BBP - You don't bring me flowers
K - But I sing you stupid love songs
BBP - You hardly talk to me anymore when you come through the door after your 17 hour flight.
K - You never tell anyone you love me just that you can't live without a child
BBP - Now after we have done some photo ops - when its good for you
even if we fight- you walk out and get on that damn motorbike
K - Well you expect me to hang at your work day and night
BBP - You never send me flowers anymore

K - It used to be so natural to talk about you being my savior
but used to be’s don't count anymore when you talk about your
first husband and never mention me

BBP - Baby just remember all the things I taught you. I taught you
how to smile when you’re very depressed, I showed you how to lie because it was the best. I even made you go to rehab when all you needed was a rest.

K - Well you know someday I will tell you goodbye
BBP - No you know I will tell you when its time to tell me goodbye
BBP - You never send me flowers anymore

K + BBP - Yes we can't wait til we can say goodbye

K - You never really needed me
BBP - You seem to just want my money

K+BBP - We don't really care about flowers, it’s just for show

I can't wait for the video - can you???

An Open Letter to Keith Urban

Dear Keith,

I have been a fan of your work since The Ranch, that's why what I have to say is so hard. I think you are a nice guy. I have actually met and talked to you. I liked the way you used to tick. You seemed aware of the world and of deeper things. The entire concept of Be Here appealed to me. I love your music; I love to see you in concert. I can get a contact high watching you play. But after this last week with the diva behavior over the soccer match, the questionable motorcycle wreck and now the appearance at a movie gala, it has become clear to me that you have made a choice. That choice is something I can't accept nor tolerate any longer. Keith, you have chosen the A-list sideshow over real life.

You talk about “balance”, but is it? You fly to Australia and disrupt your work. Your wife doesn't do that. You hang with her family and her friends. Your family and friends, and even the town you lived in have all but disappeared. That wonderful house that was built with everything you wanted was sold, and why? Because you can't go back to Nashville? Why? Is it too hard being around people who know and understand you? Is it easier to start fresh? Are you so damaged that you don't know who you are any more?

Is your addiction so severe that you are afraid of the past? Does that past include your fans? When you chose the A-list lifestyle, and many of us know you do like the finer things, did you think you could have it all?Please understand it is not because I am jealous or hate your wife or have some weird obsession with you. I believed in your work. I believed in the career you were building. I liked your music. I wanted people to hear it, more importantly, I wanted others to see you performing. You have a gift when you are on that stage and you can touch every single person in a room. You seem to have lost that since rehab. Yep, you can still touch the sky in concert but you don't linger there any more. I miss that. I miss the chills I used to get hearing you. I miss the themes and variations on the songs you chose for your records.

When Love Pain and the Whole Crazy Thing was released almost a year ago, you said it was a reflection. A reflection of your marriage, you said. I saw a man very uncomfortable with who he wants to be, who he chooses to see himself as,and who he really is. It hurt so many of your fans when you went to rehab, not because we were dependent on you, but because we cared. Yep your fans, while some are crazy, most of them are mature, functioning human beings who support you. Today I look at headlines about you and ask myself what am I supporting? Since the infamous motorcycle ride in the country in July of 2005, it is less about your music, performances, and songwriting and more about your private life. I know that the woman who you made the marriage contract with was very high profile, but Keith, so many people are high profile and they live quietly and quite happily. You aren't doing either. You look miserable more so now than in the past which apparently was all about the career - so you say. We knew you had relationships with women off-stage. There was never a time you were alone, was there? You dated a supermodel but you kept all of that private and it worked. Has the way you have been conducting your life recently been working? You played at Live Earth - the best performance that day, yet flew to New York in a private jet. That's very fake. You say you are normally private, yet all I ever read anymore about you is how you do or don't want children and that you aren't who you are today without your wife. I hate to remind you, but if it weren't for the fans and your career you would never have met her in the first place. The motorcycle incident is a prime example of what your life is today. Going to an AA meeting you say, and I don't have a reason to doubt that, but why should I even want or need to know that. Then being chased, or whatever it was, and an accident that could have killed you. You assessed blame not on yourself for speeding but on the paparazzi for following you. Keith you know why they are now following you. Keith Olbermann on Countdown reminded you that part of that 12 step model is the one step about admitting your own mistakes. Maybe that is what you should think about. What is working and what isn't. Unfortunately I have done that and have reached some conclusions.

I will no longer buy any of your work. I won't go to your concerts. I can't support your lifestyle any longer. I hope you can get it together and realize what you are losing and what you are left with. I can't believe in a man who I used to believe could talk to anyone without looking down on them and now flies to New York to have dinner with Rupert Murdoch and then gets in a group picture in the way he did with real people in a meet and greet. I won't buy the Greatest Hits. If there is something new on it I will have someone get a free copy. I never would have downloaded or bought a bootleg as I know how you felt about that. But you used to be someone else. I am also choosing to go an extra step and discourage people from buying your work or seeing you. No more DVD’s, no more hoping you get nominated and win an award. Your life choices have brought the wrong element to Nashville and Country Music. I wish you would make some changes, but I know I can no longer wait. Thank you for the past. I sincerely hope that you find whatever it is you are looking for. I pray for you and I hope you don't destroy yourself in the process. I will be looking in from time to time and will be back if it does change.

We all have to make choices,

A follower

Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are!

It has been an exciting week for those of us in Keith Urban World. We heard that “they” are selling “their” house. We saw photos of him at the airport to prove that hetraveled many a mile to see the beautiful, beautiful princess. We read about how they couldn't go to a footy game because there wasn't a private box available, and they wouldn’t accept seats in the stands like the normal folk (even though the game was sold out). The highlight of the week was a certain internet gossip columnist and his allegations about a certain Hollywood actress.

Of course there were no names mentioned. The gossip queen stated that this actress from a land far away was making statements in the press about her relationships with both of her husbands. Was this, according to the gossip source, a way to throw people off from finding out that this actress was really batting for the home team? If you couple this with a recent Blind item from said sage, about how the new husband, a ladies man himself, knew all about her inclinations and thought he could "cure" her. It’s up to you to decide who all this is about. Well, when I connect the dots......

What if Nicole Kidman isn't in the closet? Would that be a terrible thing? I think we should be who we are and embrace it. For some, religious and moral constraints stop them. They become hidden. They live lives, but they aren't true. If you are a Keith Urban fan you will know what I mean when I say live your own truth. So what if she is? She could be a role model to young people like her everywhere. It wouldn't take away from her looks or her so-called talent. It may even answer some of those questions so many of us have had about her very public life for the last 18 or so years. Hollywood would love it. Nicole, if that is who you are come out! Get in touch with your inner Dorothy and be proud. It would be the first honest thing you have ever done.

All Eyes Will Be On Keith Urban in October...

Why is that important you ask?

Well, remember a few episodes ago, Keith was on tour in Europe and had announced 10 additional dates. The fans in the UK were elated!

Then he unceremoniously cancelled them all, citing “international commitments”. Keith’s fans in Europe and the US were, um, less than thrilled and a bit confused. Tickets had been purchased, hotels booked, travel plans made.

Just in case you missed those cancelled dates:

10/10 Munich
10/11 Frankfurt
10/13 Hamburg
10/14 Berlin
10/25 Dusseldorf

10/17 Belfast
10/19 London
10/20 Manchester
10/21 Glasgow
10/23 Birmingham

So October is the month for pumpkins, trick or treats, witches and international commitments.

Everyone take good notes.

Lets all meet back here to discuss this in November, shall we?

The Urban/Kidman's are Selling "Their" House...

I just looked at pictures of Keith Urban's home on the INTERNET. And sadly, some of the sites are calling it “her house”. Wow. It seems like yesterday that he was talking about his excitement about moving in. He really did love that house. He picked out the furnishings…the appliances, rugs, fixtures, everything. He entertained there. Many people came to parties and gatherings in the lovely home. He even had a place for his parents to stay. So why is this home on the market?

Well, dear readers, two words -- Nicole Kidman.

Remember two years ago when all those rumors about Kidman and Keith started and they were saying that she was visiting? Do you remember how maps of how to get to his house started showing up on the net? Finally, with Kidman showing up in November of '05, her favorite photographers were there too, and they never left. Until the day Keith left for his contractual wedding, there were always one or two photographers or reporters watching his house. Often if you went to a Keith site you would hear of someone driving by or another picture in a tabloid. Yes, Kidman brought the bright lights of publicity to Keith's private retreat. Why couldn't she have just let him have his home? After the marriage during the few times she has been in Nashville, Kidman again brought that glare with her so even when Keith wanted to be there on his own he couldn't. Was this on purpose?

I know some of you are probably saying hey, if he were my husband would I want to live in a house where my new husband entertained other women? Well, Nicole you expect Keith to live in the house that your true love bought you? You expect him to fly on a private jet that you shared with your true love and you think nothing of having him ride around on the yacht that was purchased by your former husband. So why couldn't you live in his house? That is what this is all about. It’s his house. It is the place that he lived in, loved in and a place he created for himself. Nicole Kidman is so damn insecure that she can't stand that he would keep this home. There are rumors that they or Kidman herself bought a condo in downtown Nashville to live in during one of her meet and greets with her husband. There are also rumors that they are buying land to build a farm on outside of Nashville. Whatever the case, I feel sad for Keith. If you look in the living room above the fireplace there is a large portrait of Keith from the Somebody Like You video shoot. Now we all know the significance of that shoot.

We also know that after that time is when Keith got to where he is. The house was a culmination of all his hard work and success. I doubt in the new house, wherever that will be, you will see a picture of Keith hanging above the mantle, but I just bet somewhere in that house Keith is hanging his head to cry. I think Kidman should be the one feeling bad.

A letter to Nicole Kidman Cruise Urban

Dear Nicole,

According to Keith, you are going to be on the road with him this November. How sweet. I am so glad that you want to share Keith's stage experience with his fans. I am sure Keith and the band and the crew are so very happy about this. I would like to point out a few things that you might not be aware of, just so you know.

First, your presence creates quite a lot of stir. People come to look at you. They don't really enjoy the show because they are looking for you. Nicole spotting, last done in the states in late 2005, ruined a number of shows for those of us who were there to enjoy Keith and his music.

Mrs. Kidman Cruise Urban, you may not be aware of it, but there are a number of people who are there to see your husband. They aren't there to see you. Does that shock you? I bet dear beautiful, beautiful princess it does, but many people are there to support your husband.

Second, many people on this leg of the tour are there to see the opening act. Yes, Gary Allan has his own fans and will be playing for the first hour. I realize that you have never heard of him, nor will you probably meet him at all on the tour, but Mr. Allan is well known in his own right and deserves to be respected and not subjugated to a mere mention in a review because Nicole was spotted with a snow-cone and her newly large lips turned blue, and she was oh so cute.

Third, what is the real point of coming on the road with Keith Urban? You don't like his music do you? Oh, that’s right he is your husband and you are there to support him. Yeah right. We are savvy enough to know that its time for the Keith and Nicole Love One Another Tour ‘07. Yes, every review, every article will be about seeing Nicole, hearing Keith sing to Nicole, where Nicole sat (generally around the sound board or in the right corner by the stage and she comes in around the third song) and what was she wearing.

I bet People will be there to share the love. But what isn't realized is that when the Missus is along there are lots of hassles. Keith becomes less accessible by spending time with his bride or because her security detail doesn't allow it. Security gets too tight and even opening acts are denied access to backstage areas because the beautiful, beautiful princess is getting her lips injected or whatever it is you do back there.

Finally, and most importantly, Keith does not give good shows when you are there. Just to remind you, I am paying to see him. Not you. Not your marriage, not a dedication. I am paying to see his show, to hear his music. I don't want to lose that connection because he can't get it up enough to do a good show. Look at the Australian shows, Keith really didn't have the interaction nor the joy he usually has at the shows you attended. The audience was treated to spewed crap from Keith about Aussie make-out places and verbiage about Frankie Valli and his music. It becomes all about the relationship and less about the music.

You are as boring as a couple as he is exciting as a performer. Your presence lessens the excitement of seeing Keith. Why is this happening now? Is it because many noticed how Keith was flying back and forth, but yet where the hell where you? Is it because there are rumors that some things are not so perfect with the most boring middle aged couple in the world? Is there going to be an appearance on Oprah? Well, whatever it is, who really cares? It’s not like you have a cute little Suri with you.

I was going to go to Chicago but hearing that you will be there, well, frankly I am not going to waste my money.

Keith, when she is gone I will be back. Until then all of your fans will have to make their choices about what to do with their money. I will spend what I was going to spend to see you and buy Kenny and Garth's new CD's. I don't want to waste my time and money on the world of Keith Urban's personal life and lies.

Kidman Hits Vanity Fair Again... WHY OH WHY?

Just a note to begin: Urban Myths is written by many fine people of either gender. There is no main writer nor are they primarily male or female. Those that are choosing to judge this blog should take a moment and reflect on what they publicly post, as do we.

Where do we start with Vanity Fair? Let's go back to the October 2006 issue. Who was on the cover? C'mon you know it... Miss Suri Cruise making her national debut. And one year later we see Nicole Kidman busting out all over to yet again call attention to her private life. The “oh so private” Kidman opens up about the one true love of her life, Tom Cruise. I don't want to bore you, but I have to ask… how desperate is this woman to get her former husband’s attention? Apparently, he is the “be all, end all.”

We all have that Great Love in our lives. Nicole, he has moved on to a younger, prettier and more fertile woman. They have Suri, a cutie beyond compare. The new missus even likes the children you have ignored. Get over it. You aren't going to have his baby… but you did say you tried. Now we are hearing of an early miscarriage. No, not the famous miscarriage at the end of the marriage but a miscarriage at the start.

Why did we never hear of this before? I find it interesting, considering both Kidman and Mr. Cruise have had questions aplenty thrown around about their ability to have children. Why not mention it sometime in that 11 years you were married? Another revelation is that people told Kidman that she would have no career if she married Cruise. Well, Well, Well… Do they think we don't remember when Kidman and Cruise met? Do you recall? Wasn't it on a movie set for Days of Thunder and Tom Cruise was married at the time to Mimi Rogers, yet Kidman chose to have an affair with him? Yeah, a new actress…if I was your manager and you were having an affair with the number one box office star, I would say “be careful” -- right! Kidman also hit Ladies Home Journal again and splewed her verbiage about the great love of her life, saying she has no regrets about her time with Tom. I wouldn't either. In the end she got world wide fame, millions in the bank and several houses and a plane. She did okay…I would love Tom too. Actually I like Mr. Cruise a great deal and could never understand the Kidman phase.

Let’s continue on about Kidman. She was engaged before Keith Urban. Let’s see… that means that someone found her attractive and that Keith almost got away. Rumors are that it was Stephen Bing, a reliable mate for the future. Or Lenny Kravitz, a man who holds my utmost respect for dumping Kidman. So someone wanted her. Okay, if you say so, Nicole.

But what about Keith? Apparently when they met there weren't any fireworks. Really??? Is that why you chased him around G’Day LA trying to give him your number? Is that why you pursued him through his people when after six months he still hadn't called you? He was lonely? Ask the woman that he was dating when you had your first PR date? And now eight months later Keith says a baby in 2008 would be nice. More than a month after Keith said we're not trying? It's Keith who doesn't want to have a baby. Kidman shows in the photo with niece/prop baby that yeah, she wants a baby. She is shown now for the third time with that baby. Look at the photo of Kidman and the baby. The baby is hidden in her coat. Hidden in her coat -just like a year ago when Suri was hidden in Tom's coat. Yes, Nicole, Suri exists. It doesn't matter if you want to put your ta-tas out there and tell us how much your current husband wants to worship only you and not share you with an infant…Tom has moved on. I can only wish that the media would do the same and, most of all, I hope Keith does, too. It seems like the ground work is being laid for the blame game. That’s okay - we are still on to Kidman. Wasn't it this blog that predicted the focus would become Nicole Kidman “the woman”? It reads more like Nicole Kidman the fraud...

A Chunk of the Truth about the Kidman/Urban Illusion

Some folks took the time to point out recently to one of the many responders to this blog the truth about this fantasy trip we are on with Keith Urban. Namely, that it is a fantasy. Most of us have our feet firmly planted on the ground. But there are a few who seem to be out in the nether regions and are lost. I am not talking about those who are warped or possibly ill. You know them. They are the ones that have a "personal" relationship with Keith because he squeezed their butt at a meet and greet, or he smiled at them on stage. I am not even talking about those very sad souls who believe they are married to him and have children with him and who stalk him. No, my concern is with, and the reason I write is, the woman or man who thinks that everything written about Keith and that wife of his is gospel.

You see this blind following particularly with her fans. There is one particular fan site that is so funny on the surface but after reading it for awhile you realize how sad it is. These people are living their lives through Nicole Kidman. Each new movie, each new article or interview, and it’s as if Kidman had spoken just to them. The sad part is that this isn't just a few but many people who feel the same way.

Sorry to blow this up for all of you living in the illusion, but Nicole Kidman doesn't care about you or your opinions. She hires bodyguards to protect herself from you and the only thing she wants is your money.

As for Keith, musicians are different. Of course, he is there to get adulation, that’s part of it. He goes out into the crowds - he is live. It is very “in the moment”, and a musician is playing to whatever is inside of the listener. Keith Urban doesn't know what you desire but perhaps something he is playing is touching you and affecting you. That is very intimate and dangerous. He isn't really asking you to come along as much as he is playing and it is touching you. Then you tell others and then it builds a following. That, my readers, is the power of music and when you are skilled as Keith you don't need to manipulate anyone.

Yet, we are all as good as the company we keep, and since 2005 things have changed a bit.

There has always been some speculation about plants from Camp Urban on fan sites. There are certain people who lead discussions toward a specific topic or away from others. There are also believed to be insiders who plant information in bits and pieces to create a demand for a show or CD or boost the ratings of a program that Keith will be on. I am fine with that. Tell me, “the fan” what is coming up. I always thought it was weird that a machinist and a beautician were able to go to all these shows all over the world and have inside information about tour dates months in advance, and yet post about how wonderful Keith and the wife are, as if they were normal fans? What I don't like is that there are now plants that seem to be having fan experiences to counter that which many of us know isn't true. They are creating a myth.

One thing about cruising all the fan sites is that not everyone has a great time. Not everything is hunky dory. A fan review generally is honest about the show. What has been appearing on some Keith sites is eyewitness reports of how wonderful everything is; how great the shows are; how they are filled to the rafters and sold out, and the thing that bugs me most -- that Keith is personally happy and well.

There is one poster who was at many of the shows writing glowing reviews. I am not talking about Green Bay or DC. I am talking about Australia and England and the US. This person even talked to Keith the day that he had the flu and had to say goodbye - perhaps forever - to Europe. What made this observer interested was that this poster happened to be in China when Keith and Kidman were there in 06. Happened to be? No, my readers, this person is paid to plant “all is well” hooey on Keith Urban fan sites.

And who pays her? Most investigations put this not at the feet of Camp Urban, but in the wacky manipulation superhighway created by Nicole Kidman and those she hires to protect her fame.

I am sure Kidman is not the only one that does this, but it’s painfully obvious that she doesn't get the world that Keith inhabits. For example, that shot of them at the 2006 Grammy’s with Keith dressed as Keith and in his element and Kidman dressed like what Vogue magazine would expect a rock and roll girlfriend to look like. She was out of place and she hasn't learned.

She is a shrewd manipulator of image but she hasn't figured out that what Keith does is touch your heart. He plays to your emotions. I guess you have to have some kind of emotional balance to understand this. It's why no one cares when she is at a show.

It’s not about her. It's about what we are getting that Keith is giving us. Keith's audience isn't that stupid. Some are a bit naive but so many are not. They can see his face and hear his voice and that’s when we understand. Plant all the glowing folks you want Kidman, we can pick them out and pick them apart. Going to see Keith has never been about you, your marriage or your drama, it’s about seeing one of the most talented musicians performing today reaching people through his art. Take some notes or just leave quietly…you won't be missed.

Kidman and the Tabloids

Did you enjoy reading the review of The Invasion in In Touch? How about the one in Star, OK or Life & Style? Funny, The Invasion opened last week and they didn't have a review. Wonder why? There was a review in People, but it was watery and not really that critical. The newspapers and TV film critics really slammed the film. Anyone who has followed the career of one Nicole Mary Kidman Cruise Urban knows that you can be blindfolded and have a better chance playing darts than Kidman does of having a hit film. Why didn't those tabloids review the film? They do review films. They aren't the late Pauline Kael but they do tell you whether or not to spend a buck on a film. But nothing about The Invasion.

For a few months now, Urban Myths has been pointing out to you, dear readers, about how Kidman has used the media to perpetuate the crap about her happy life.

We have gone over how a photo might appear and the circumstances about it. We talked about the race with Kidman's true love to manipulate the media. But what we haven't talked about is the need that exists between Kidman and those tabloids. They both keep one another afloat.

Let's start with People magazine. People is a legitimate, respected magazine. It's part of the establishment and it's less of a tabloid and more of a magazine. People is also a press agent’s wet dream. What a celebrity wants you to think about them is found in People. Note: Keith Urban couldn't buy coverage if his life depended on it. Yes, in 2002 he was voted one of those sexy dudes but it was a tiny picture and not more than that. Suddenly Kidman sits her ass on Keith's bike (a PR stunt, Keith privately told those close to him). The photo is shown first in the Aussie People then one week later in American People with a blurb about who this Keith Urban is, because certainly the average reader wouldn't know.

He got famous almost overnight. This was a good thing for Kidman - she was in the race with her true love and she used the magazine to show the world how happy she was. We had the pictures of Keith and Nicole strolling in Boston with a ring on her finger. That was black Wednesday, 11/16/05, the day after Keith Urban lost his singular identity as a country music star and Entertainer of The Year for the CMAs. She used People again to show the happy Thanksgiving, and the family Christmas stroll. She used People to write a story in winter 2006 about them living together in Nashville, and finally to announce her engagement. Of course, she neglected to tell Keith she was doing this, but she got what she wanted. They got a cover for the wedding. They got the cover again when he went into rehab. But the story was quite generic. When Keith came back he talked to People. So, if it's in People it must be true...right? Well, that’s what Keith said...

But those other rags? Well, they need a Nicole Kidman. She was Mrs. Tom Cruise. She won an Oscar. She got her heart broken. Yes, her life has sold their magazines and she needs them to perpetuate her name. She can't do it because of her work. Her movies are not the movies that the average reader will go see. Yet, Nicole Kidman needs those people who read the tabloids to keep her famous. She wouldn't give you the time of day on the street. But read about how she took a whole Sunday afternoon to see her poor addicted husband at Betty Ford and you keep her a viable commodity in Hollywood.

The tabloids want you to want to be interested in Nicole and Keith. They sell the magazine. Nicole and Keith (“I don't read them and neither should you”) Urban want you to be interested so that you will buy their tickets. It’s kinda creepy, like all those weird movies Kidman makes with little boys.

But let’s face facts…Kidman and Keith are actually boring. There isn't a scandal there. Yeah, there were rumors, and yes, Keith admitted they were true, but that was in a little known German magazine. These two aren't the power brokers that Katie and Tom are. So what does a famewhore like Kidman do? She knows the strength of those connections, so she cozies up to an emerging internet photo site. I am not mentioning the name, but this person is now on her fan board. It also appears that some deal or arrangement has been made with the photographer that was her worst enemy. He seems to be getting some very nice exclusives lately or else he is using older photos to help the myths move. All of that helps, but Kidman is just not exciting and she has been the subject of more and more ridicule.

Perez Hilton, LaineyGossip and Dlisted have all pointed out the flaws. In my opinion, the future of the celebrity is found in these places. The internet and those who use it for gossip are the new power. Why read about something in People when someone on a blog is actually talking about the real event? Why wait a week for a picture or a review of an event when you can log into Lainey every morning and get a pretty damn accurate report that hasn't been cleaned up by a Wendy Day? I love blind items. Both the E! message board and the king Ted Casablanca have some really great stuff. Nicole can't control that. Even if it’s not true, it’s gone as fast as it comes. It all becomes urban myth. And while the future is the internet, those tabloids will begin to flop just like a Nicole Kidman film. Is it really the consumer who controls the show, not Kidman, not People or Star, Life & Style, In Touch or OK? Not even US. So, the next time she is on the cover don't buy it and soon she won't be on the cover. Anyway you can read more about the real truth on a gossip site than in the pages of one of those magazines.

Hey, Nicole, no one really cares what you want them to believe. The truth will sell you out every time.