Someone needs to speak to Keith...

I have been talking to so many of my fellow Urban fans this weekend; some skeptics; some bunnies; some not quite sure of where they are; and so many of them are so confused about Keith Urban right now. Why?

Because Mr. Urban played the Opry on the 27th and made the occasion a time to publicly worship at the altar of Nicole Kidman. He had an opportunity to push his single, which is stalling on the charts, and kiss the Opry's provincial but powerful ass. He failed on both accounts. Yes, he sold out the Opry on a weekend when they don't generally sell out. Yes, he showed up and was prepared to play his two songs. There was some speculation that because the show wasn't going to be on TV that Kidman would stay home with her family and the baby; well, it didn't happen like that.

Keith came out and sang a lovely version of Sweet Thing - his attempt at Taylor and Miley type song-smithing. His voice was good; he looked okay; the crowd was into him. Then the jackass opened his mouth. Something to the effect that he was there because his wife asked him to call the Opry and ask to play because her family was in town, and they wanted to see him play at the Opry. Why the hell did he do this? Shut the hell up about that woman. Didn’t he complain in the past about hating to be invited to parties just to play like a ‘monkey on a stage’?

Dear reader, he is not a member of the Opry. He just called them up because Kidman decided he should? WTF? What was more likely was that he and his management wanted him to play the Opry to promote the struggling single and they gave him a number of dates from which to choose. But Keith doesn't want you to believe that; nope, the wife has the power to dictate when and where he is going to play. Why, oh, why?

Because he can't be anything other than supportive spouse right now. There I said it. I am not afraid. It doesn't mean he loves her or even likes her, but what was he supposed to do? The smart thing would be to ignore her and the marriage but this whole last week has been nothing but Nicole Kidman resident of Nashville, Tennessee week. We had sightings of her at bookstores buying last minute Christmas gifts. We saw Kidman, her parents, sister, niece and nephew and Keith walking all over Nashville. We had the Kidmans at lunch at a local Nashville restaurant on Christmas Eve. The report was that they seem so relaxed with one another. Why do they keep telling us that about them after almost four years? I don't get that; unless they really aren't relaxed with one another? We have the photos of Keith bogged down with a car seat and diaper bag and Kidman having a hard time swallowing her communion wafer after Christmas morning Mass. Then we had a sighting on Christmas Day at a local Nashville movie theater where they skipped the ticket line and went right into the theater. Nicole and Keith were accompanied by her father and niece and nephew again. But that occasion served a dual purpose because a local gossip column mistakenly said the kids were actually Bella and Connor. Guess someone needs to share that the Cruise children are actually older, and Connor is not so pale. But the seed was sown wasn't it? The day after Christmas we had a sighting of the Kidmans again enjoying the sights of Nashville.

Have you seen these pictures available on a French gossip sight? Keith looks not so terrific. Okay, he looks sad and wasted. Why? Was Christmas that tough? There are rumors that the Kidmans are living in two different residences these days. The farm and the big mansion. Are they together? And why after living in Nashville for this long are they touring historic houses? Oh, Kidman is showing how valuable she can be to the Nashville economy by highlighting the sights? New career, Nicole? Perhaps…or just more PR to get people's minds off what a failure you are? She is not going to fail at being a wife, is she?

I do hope that the Opry isn't a preview for the new tour. Dedicating a song to Kidman that he didn't even write; a song that was written for someone else's wife is just sad. If saying that her family was there when there have been no sightings of them there and only a brief sighting of Kidman leaving with Keith after the drudgery of his five song performance was over is any indication of the next few months, Urban is going to be as much of a loser as his wife.

Shut up and sing, Keith. And next time talk about yourself and not about those around you, even if they are paying your salary.

The Epic vs. Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman has been tied to the film Australia for almost four years; about the same time that she has been with Keith Urban. The failure of this film was not like the failure of her other films; this one was important, VERY important. Kidman used all the successful tools she has in the past to promote the movie. Her image, her reputation and her personal life were all promoted to make this movie a success.

Baz Luhrmann is considered Nicole Kidman's director. When an actor has such a close association with a director you can have good results: Diane Keaton and Woody Allen or Tom Hanks and Ron Howard, or terrible results such as Hitchcock and Tippi Hendron. Baz had success with Kidman in Moulin Rouge! and it really elevated both of their careers. The successful ad campaign for Chanel added to the expectations for this film. Both of their reputations were at stake for this film and the preliminary buzz for almost two years was strong.

No one expected a failure of these proportions. Both Kidman’s image and reputation have suffered fatal blows. She is a joke; the star who has to have special effects for her facial images; the beauty who is so afraid of aging that she shot poison into her face to stay young.

Kidman tied her image to this film; she also tied her personal life to it. Her relationship with Keith Urban was about a fellow Aussie going back to the homeland and they played it. Their wedding was a tribute to Oz. Baz inspired the design of the interior of the church and the reception. The guest list was the A-list of all Australian figures. Hugh Jackman sang a song written by famous Oz export Peter Allen. And mentioned in the press was the fact that Nicole wanted to return to her roots - her Australian roots. She was prepping for the big film for the next six months, besides putting her husband in rehab. She was going through the motions with Margot at the Wedding and The Invasion, as those would pale compared to the epic. Then the filming started and for the next nine months we heard about the set and her costumes, yada yada, and Keith running across the world to be with her on the set, etc. Then we had the royal baby, and yes, Kidman tied her child’s conception to the film, to the magic with Baz. As it became apparent the film was not going to be a hit, Kidman even pulled out the baby for PR, even after vowing she wouldn’t do that very thing.

So what happened? Who knows at this early date, but the movie was not that great. Kidman could no longer count on the Australian public to support her. They did when Tommy left her, but they have deemed her the tallest poppy of them all and she has run to hide in the United States. This movie was too important to Kidman and its failure will mark a turning point in her career. She will either overcome this or her career is over. No wonder she is gathering her family around. No one likes to be made fun of or told they are ugly and have no talent, but as they say, the truth hurts and for Nicole Kidman this is long overdue. The person to feel sorry for is Keith Urban; he will either have to pick up the pieces with her or he will have to turn into the bad guy and walk away. Since he has never left a woman in his past we see him being the supportive spouse, at least for a little while. It must suck to be Nicole right now. We (don’t) feel so sorry for her.

Merry Christmas from Urban Myths

Looks like the Ghost of Keith Urban's Christmas Past has come to visit us today... Enjoy and happy holidays from all of us!

Ho Ho He He... the Urban Myths Wish List...

Since most skeptics have already received their Christmas present, the failure of the big epic, we thought we would spread holiday cheer and give wish presents for those we know oh, so well...

To Bella Cruise, a very happy birthday (we remembered) and the hope that in your sixteen years you have kept a journal that you may some day use to write a best seller about your relationship with Nicole.

To Connor Cruise, a big congratulations from us for your movie debut! It is too bad that Nicole was too busy eating pasta with Harvey Weinstein to attend but would you have really wanted her there?

To Tom Cruise, our thanks for being Tom Cruise and being able to overcome the hard times and have a great comeback. Yeah, there are some things about you we aren't comfortable with, but you are a good father and we are happy you survived the Nicole years and we are sorry for the times we made you the bad guy.

To Capitol Nashville that perhaps, just perhaps, the faith and money you have shown Keith Urban these past few bleak years may be paying off; or that you realize it is time to cut your losses and move on.

To that one female fan that seems to always be at all the shows and has all those pictures, stories and backstage passes - we hope Kidman gives you a big raise.

To Ted Casablanca from E! – we wish you good health and the continued determination to expose what needs to be exposed.

To those people who made a profit by bringing and keeping Kidman and Urban together: Karma is a bitch and here is hoping you get yours soon.

To Nicole Kidman: our wish is that you divorce, retire and that we never shall have to discuss you in a blog again. We know this won't happen on any of those accounts, but as long as these are wishes, we can hope.

To Sunday Rose Kidman Urban- we hope you are healthy and happy and that when the truth does come out about how you came to be that you are protected and isolated from it.

To Keith Urban- we hope and wish that this whole adventure has had some merit to it, but we hope you will come to your senses and make some life changing choices; we will Be Here to tell you why.

Finally, to all of you who read, comment and send us messages: we may not agree with all of you; some of you we wonder about. But we are all in this adventure together and we wouldn't be here without you, so have a great holiday season!

P.S.: the annual Urban Myths awards are coming soon .....

Like a Grizzly... it's time for Nicole Kidman to hibernate...

If she were smart she would go away and be quiet and not draw attention to herself. The problem is… she is not smart. We have all noticed how utterly uneducated and flighty Kidman is in her interviews. Perhaps she is trying to make up for her lack of formal education, but she starts with those pithy descriptive phrases and instead of looking self educated she just looks silly.

She is not smart, at all. It is becoming more and more obvious that without the hand and handling of Tom Cruise and his people Kidman can't keep a career of her own. Tom and company must have really worked to find her good projects and to keep her in the news. Kidman on her own has had little success in finding good projects. Her selection kills are not helping her as an actress. To grow and show dimension, Kidman must have popular and critical features, and she has had neither. Dogville, Fur and Margot at the Wedding were unsuccessful. Kidman got mixed reviews. Her try at popular films, such as Invasion, Bewitched, and Stepford Wives… and now Australia, have all gone down the chute.

When Kidman was part of the Cruise team, she made Moulin Rouge!, To Die For, and was even part of the Batman genre. She was on a career climb. Kidman, during the Cruise years, got the first scripts for The Hours and The Others (and OMG! An Oscar!). Cruise knew what was good for Kidman. Kidman on her own leaves it up to whimsy and look where she is…box office poison.

It is time for Nicole Kidman to go away for awhile. As Tom Cruise mounts a comeback that looks like it is going to be successful, Kidman gets in the media, not for her work, but her personal life. Everything she has done in the last three years has been either a copy of or a challenge to what Cruise has done. Now I know that saying about a scorned woman, but this is too much.

Kidman should retreat for the next year and create an interest in herself as an actress. How will she do that? Perhaps she should call Tom; he might have a suggestion or two.

What will Kidman do? She will either take on the role of being Mrs. Keith Urban or devote her energies to her daughter and her marriage; or she will find another way to get attention for herself as an actress. I believe she will go on the stage either in New York or London. I can't see Kidman being just Keith's wife. That is so restrictive and for the biggest narcissist of all - self defeating. She is an artist after all. Will she go on the road with Keith? I would bet she will be seen. but people don't buy her as Keith's wife and she comes off as a snob and bitchy. As she is loathed in Nashville, think about how she will come off in Omaha. No, look to Tom Cruise and his family to pick up the leads for what Kidman will do next. I just bet Broadway is where she will head. Keith will be happy about that, as it’s only a few hours from anywhere in the country when he will be summoned for a photo op.

He Earns Every Dollar, Doesn't He?

Before we see the "couple in love" yet again at a premiere for the epic, let’s take a few minutes and salute Keith Urban for once again following the script and playing the part of dutiful husband. Yes, PLAYING the part; because as hard as he tries, he just can’t cut it, can he?

I just can’t shake this feeling that these two just don’t get along and barely tolerate one another off the red carpet. It seems all forced between them, not robotic like Katie with Tom, but just indifferent; even that kiss was boring. It was like saying goodbye to Grandma at the train station; you don’t really want to kiss her as she has that lingering cigarette and Vicks vapor rub smell but, she IS Grandma. Is Keith getting something out of all of this? Protection of his very private life? Tons of money? Personal security from not having to have to go out and have a career? Probably all of those. What Nicole Kidman wants you to think is that they have a life. They stay at home or go to their “friends” homes so Keith can play music with them. They watch young Sunday play her baby genius piano. They are so in love, so much a family. I guess because her one true love has done such a good job showing that he has moved on and has built a new foundation with the younger, prettier woman that she is compelled to do it, too. Just like Tom went to a number of Katie’s performances, Keith must attend Kidman’s red carpets. They are so together. Do you think I just made that bit up about life down on the farm? Nope! Kidman said all of that to Hello magazine.

You all can predict what is coming can’t you? Keith and the baby bonding all over the place. Why? Because we haven’t seen it yet, and Kidman always gives us what we haven’t seen. Plus Keith has a CD to shill and a new video to ‘not act in’ coming soon. Those baby daddy pictures are coming.

Yes, we are aware that Keith is nominated for a Grammy; he has been nominated at almost every Grammy ceremony for the last eight years. The speculation about the Grammy’s will be if they attend. The award will not be televised but Keith’s first Grammy wasn’t either. And, of course, Keith had to attend his wife’s photo shoot in the Outback last year, rather than attend the ceremony and receive his second Grammy. It will depend on Kidman; whether she wants the world to buy the supportive spouse bull. Or, is it about supporting the only critically acclaimed and financially successful member of the family? Time will tell. As her fame and power ebb away, and if Keith shows any kind of success, you know she will glob onto him and hold on for dear life. And that will be the time, dear reader, when Keith Urban makes his power play.

This Week in Pictures

My, what a whirlwind week for Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, eh?

Paris, Madrid and Rome. The private jet-setting couple were seen when they wanted to be seen. Red carpets, premieres, fine dining, museums... what a life! Movie stars are a breed all their own... and hangers-on can enjoy the high life as long as they have signed on the dotted line; even humble little country music singers. Said country music singers can announce their upcoming tour while flying all over Europe (but that's another blog).

Let's take a peek at what we have seen this week...

Gay Paree! From Keith's heels to taking Baby Sunday to a Picasso exhibit at a museum...

On to Madrid... out to dinner and another red carpet...and a photocall for NK to show off her undergarments...

Leaving Madrid.. no car seat for baby Sunday is necessary!

But a car seat for Nicole's bag is! Must be the bag that is holding Keith's balls...

On to Rome... out to dinner, no premiere... Sunday must be at the hotel with the nanny... oh, wait! She doesn't have a nanny... she must be with her bodyguard. Lucky babe!

Let us see what next week brings... London... Berlin...

And a Babe Shall Lead Us from the Darkness...

Oh, you thought this was going to be about the exploitation of young Sunday Rose Kidman Urban? Nope, not at all. What can you say about a mother who is so weak, so fearful of being a failure that she will exploit, no the better term here, is whore out her child to garner attention? The sad thing about this, beyond young Sunday being taken out in the cold without proper covering, is that everyone figured it out. Gee, Nicole are you concussed again? How stupid are you to throw that baby out into the open for the mass media? Yes, stupid because the timing was off. Every one knows that the epic is not the epic it was intended to be, so like pulling out your little Suri with the fringe on top, you pull out Sunday. Sad.

Today, however we are going to take the subject away from the baby and talk again about the baby daddy. First of all Keith Urban is an imbecile for letting his daughter be exploited like that. Is it so rough to live with Nicole that you have to kowtow to her every whim? Does she have something over you that will ruin your career so that you act like an ass? We saw your balls through your pants the other night in Paris - why not use them, darling?

Thinking about the way Keith has been acting lately made me think about Keith Urban, Movie Star. Do you remember that he had a movie contract at one time? Actually, it was announced one week before he and Kidman were spotted biking together. What happened to that? Was there a better contract that he signed? There was that rumor that he tested very poorly, that his accent was too thick. I think he is a great actor. I mean, how can he live with that bitch and pretend to be happy over and over again? Well, on second thought, and given his appearance recently, maybe he is bad actor after all.

Finally, we want to welcome back our friend Anna from the Forehead blog. We have missed you; and please note karma only applies to Kidman - she has built up so much vile that her karma wipes out any of our ill will toward her. One thing however, is that Ted Casablanca is not done. He is the king of pounce and like the sleek cat he is, he waits until he knows the time is right before he gives us the dirt. We are lucky to have him around. Make sure you all read his latest column... *wink wink*

Bewitched, Bothered or Bewildered?

Have you ever heard the lyrics to the theme song of Bewitched?

Bewitched, Bewitched, you got me in your spell
Bewitched, Bewitched, you know your craft so well

How many of you feel that way about your partner? How many of you have those little side glances and inside looks that only the two of you know the meaning? Well, you can't say that about Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban can you? There is no chemistry at all. Every look and glance is scripted; every forehead touching is on a mark. After observing these two for the past few years you don't even have to guess that they don't bump uglies in the night.

Kidman would have you believe otherwise; she ran to the People reporter at the New York premiere of the epic and went on and on about how her husband is the sexiest man in the world, not Hugh Jackman. And there is this new planted story that Keith is jealous of the steamy love scenes. An ill-timed attempt at a kiss is an indication that she finds him suitable as an escort and that’s about it.

There is some speculation as to why she went on and on about Keith. Was it because she screwed up a basic Q & A presented to her by David Letterman? Was it because there are rumors that there is trouble in her marriage; that perhaps his or her head was turned by another? Is it because a love story was supposed to sell her epic and her own love story needed to be as strong at the one in the epic?

Kidman knows about showing the sort of tease and tickle needed to sell a relationship to the masses. She was able to do it in droves with her one true love. She even showed it when she was dating Lenny. But she has never been able to show it with Keith. Do you wonder why?

Keith Urban is a sexy man. Anyone who has been around and seen his rise to fame knows that his sexiness and his sensuousness have all been marketed to the hilt in making him a star. The ‘tragic romantic’ he called himself recently in an interview, was that a commentary on his current relationship? He tries to act as though she is the be all and end all. He looks at her and they have that hand grab thing. At a hockey game in Nashville he put his arms around her from behind and she literally cringed. That’s a long way from the time Kidman rode piggy back on her one true love as they departed a plane. They don't look happy.

Does happiness really matter, however? For you see, we are supposed to be jealous because Kidman is the one he married. The woman he waited his whole life for; she does have his only child, too. If you were living in a fantasy that Keith Urban was going to give you the time of day - that was part of the marketing plan. He might have had a one-nighter but those days are now over. It was time for him to be married because being 37 and not publicly in a relationship either made you a man-ho or gay, and well, you know how people are. Kidman was the fix that was needed. However, no one really buys them as a couple. People who have seen them either lie because they like one or both of them, or feel Kidman can do something for them since she is a Hollywood star and so much more than most of us, and she bought Keith.

I guess it comes down to there being no chemistry, because why should there be? This relationship that is being sold as a great love story is really nothing more than a business relationship that made one party more famous and the other one sustainable as a star for a few more years. They may have some affection for one another, they may even be friends, but let’s face it - they have no sexual chemistry. If you have any doubts about Keith Urban and that subject go on the internet and look up a performance of an old Tom Petty song with a recent partner. Be warned - you may need a towel or a cigarette afterward or to cool off; just look at Keith and Kidman kiss - that will wake anyone up.

Thankful that Turkey is Finally Here! And Flying!

Thanksgiving is one of those occasions where you look back and think about all the things that give you pleasure and make your life richer. Nicole Kidman has been doing this a lot in interviews for the epic. I bet you hadn't noticed had you? Kidman is thankful for Tennessee, for her daughter’s crying, for her movie and its director.

She is thankful for a gullible press, dress designers who think she is still special and a publicist who earns every dollar of her salary. Some feel she is thankful for her husband, but that is more of an abstract as opposed to a literal gratitude. Yes, Nicole Kidman is one lucky woman.

I can't wait for this whole PR tour to be over and let the chips fall where they may or fly at who they will. Sounds like there are some problems with the film… are we surprised? Not at all, this thing was doomed for a very long time, but think of our sheer glee knowing that most of the problems with the film are being placed right in Kidman's lap. Damn, Christmas came early to all of us didn't it? I can't wait to read the reviews.

Here we are - the big New York City premiere of the epic and Keith is there in his big boy suit and nine inch heels. They look so happy don't they? So perfect like a couple is supposed to; they are so in love, so blessed to find peace and contentment with one another. Well that’s what Kidman wants you to think. She really is pushing this happy and satisfied bit isn't she? Going to concerts and local festivals; getting coffee together. Are you like me and don't really trust what is being said? I know that with Kidman it’s all said for a reason. The reason being that she wants to sell the movie, right? Perhaps, just perhaps there is something else that Kidman feels the need to sweep under the carpet? Some rumors going around about her secure happy marriage perhaps? Well stay tuned because long after the epic rises or falls the focus will switch and it will be all about .....? Yeah a little tease for all of you to stay tuned… kind of like Ted Casablanca reminding all of us about the reality of the fairytale, and perhaps even more! We know the truth…we just need to remember it from time to time.

Happy Thanksgiving to all...from Urban Myths

Back to Keith Urban for a change...

I wish we could take Kidman out of the equation, but I can't; so let’s just try to look at Keith and what he has been doing for the last few weeks. First, we have the number one party. In a recent interview, Keith acknowledged that it had been a long time since that had happened and that he liked that. Now let's remember that it took a seven year old song that was a fan favorite to do that. But if that feeling, that drive for success that I feared was erased at Betty Ford is back, then go off and create Mr. Urban.

Second, let’s look at his new single. I don't really like Sweet Thing. The music is good but the lyrics seem too trendy. What's next? A song about a boy, a girl, and one is a vampire? I think this song wasn't that important to Keith and it was hurried out for the sake of a record company. Looking at its chart placement we can see the public doesn't think it’s a sweet thing and that’s too bad because it might just indicate that there are some problems that need to be addressed. Problems? Perhaps it is time for Keith to take a risk. Find new co-writers or record others’ songs. The old formula doesn't seem to be working.

And that brings us to topic number three: the DVD. We did a mini review a couple of blogs ago about the DVD, but the same can be said about Keith's videos. Find a new director; it's time to get rid of the old tired formula. I know it seems like this works -there is a relationship between the director and the artist. Like Chesney and Silva you can see that kind of relationship, but with Urban and Hicky you don't see this. It’s tired and uncreative; perhaps their friendship is getting in the way of the professional relationship. Look at Start a Band and you can see what a director who is aware of what is going on can do with a song that is pretty simplistic.

Start a Band brings us to point number four: Keith needs to quit wasting his energy doing duets. I mean, Rhonda, Dolly, Martina, Nelly and Brad all see the merits in working with Keith. His performances with all of them show people what he can do; but why can't he take the energy he puts in these efforts and bring them to his own music? He has been doing remakes and covers for too long now. Did his time at Betty Ford zap his drive to do his best? Is recording for Keith now just going to the office? By the looks of his performances on television you can see that passion; it would be nice if it were reflected in the recorded music. A lot is riding on this record and it may turn Keith Urban into someone you go to see but don't bother buying the records.

We Support You, Nicole...

You think that we have flipped our lids by giving Kidman a message of support…you would be wrong. What we support is her retirement from films. No more having to dread a film preview because Kidman might be in it. No more stupid interviews with stupid statements and dumb headlines generated by those interviews. No more God awful premieres with Kidman and her pale lifeless body with thinning hair and turkey neck showing up and crowding out the more talented people in the cast. Finally, no more Oscar red carpets. We will be free from her screwing up a nomination presentation. No more ruining the magazines with her dumb choices for clothing. Yes, yes, yes! Nicole retire and the sooner the better! It does look like she may be in another flop. They have taken her almost completely out of the current crop of previews on television. She was on Oprah, but Hugh stole that from her and she is now an afterthought as we have the Aniston/Pitt tales. Yes, the epic may be a good time to quit.

With every clear sky there comes into it a little cloud. In this case, what the hell is that narcissistic bitch going to do if she isn't on a movie set or shilling another film? Stay in Tennessee and raise the little girl? Worse - go on the road with Keith? No, no and no on all counts. First, what the hell kind of parent is she that she leaves a four month old by herself in another country on another continent? And don't throw Angelina at us either, because we know if Angie is gone Bradley is there. Also, can you imagine Kidman on the road with her entourage? She hates his music and perhaps even Keith right now so what is she going to do? Be a road wife?

And, of course she wants more babies. Why? Hasn’t she already hurt three children by claiming motherhood on them? But it’s the in thing now to have more kids, so Kidman will. Or someone will.

And speaking of the baby daddy, we love the new video with Brad Paisley. They are having fun and he is enjoying himself. We can't say that about the pictures recently from both Nashville and Sydney. Keith looks dour, pensive and sad. Why did he go to Sydney? To see his family? He was only seen getting off the plane, on the red carpet at the premiere, and getting back on the plane. Why did he leave that little girl and fly with Kidman over there? Why is Kidman going on and on about how they work so hard on their marriage? Why is she talking about not being apart for a shorter period of time? Does this sound like a safe and secure wife? Or perhaps this is the painting by an artist who doesn't want people to look too close at the canvas? Are there cracks in the foundation that are leading Kidman to keep Keith on a very short leash?

Fans by Association - Think Again, Ms. Kidman

Nicole Kidman has a hate/use/hate relationship with Keith Urban's fans. Do any of you honestly think she likes you? No, you are the overweight, uneducated hicks who bought the myths written about her husband. She knows that none of you would ever get a chance with her Keith Lionel so you are mere objects for her ridicule and scorn. Don't believe that do you? Well, at a restaurant in Nashville, Kidman was having a lettuce leaf with an assistant and was overheard mimicking her server’s accent. And while she will go sit in the back room of the beauty shop she does not talk to any of the locals and will freeze you out if you approach her. The only time she appears to be friendly is if she is with Keith. Even then be careful - that gaze can freeze you to your core. But isn't it amazing that in the last few months Kidman has been kind to the locals and nice to Keith's fans? Why the change? Because she wants you to go to her stupid movie. That’s the only reason. She doesn't like the fans; never has. Her attitude is that one must keep their life and persona a bit of a mystery. She apparently has told Keith this is how he should treat his fans. In country music, however, you can't.

Keith had to educate her about this, and remember Kidman learned from a master manipulator, her one true love, about how to conduct oneself in public. It does look like when her one true love walked out on her he took a lot of fans with him. Her box office is a shining example of her lack of fan base, so what is a manipulative shrew to do? Tap into her current husband’s fan base. She has been manipulating the masses for months about her balanced life in Tennessee. She had her baabee there. Did any of you really think it had to do with Keith and what he wanted? No way. She just wants you to fill up the theaters on November 26th. Well, I know I will be in a theater but I will be watching Twilight. Somehow watching a movie about a vampire is better than seeing a movie with a real life one in it. Still going to argue about her love of the simple life? Wouldn't you spend a warm family first holiday in your country home with your little girl and husband? Not our Nic! She told a reporter at the Glamour awards that she and the baby would be in New York City looking at the lights. By that time the fate of the epic will be known and she won't have to hang with the little people. I do hope she tells Keith where she and the little girl will be for Christmas; from his comments this week he still was in the dark.

Reviews! Reviews! We've got Reviews!

Oprah:

What can we say that Lainey hasn't? Hugh Jackman saved it from being hokey; he explained away Nicole Kidman's interpretation of the love scenes as being one of truly dual ecstasy to being a job with a love scene. Make no mistake that showing off the picture of the baby wasn't planned. Kidman used the occasion to sell her movie and her daughter. Kidman has worked in films since she was a teen she knows when the little red light is on; she had lasik surgery on her eyes she can see the camera is running. But, of course, Julia Roberts showed off her youngest on Oprah, so why not Nicole? I just can't get over how banal Kidman really is.

Speaking of banality and Julia Roberts, Monday night Glamour magazine had its Women of the Year awards in New York City and Kidman showed up. Also there and breathing in her neck was Keith Lionel Urban. Didn't you figure since he didn't show for the ELLE awards he would be at this event? I know I did.

It was a cold but lovely night; forget about Hillary Clinton and the others - it was Nicole's night to shine. Taking a page right out of the script for Pretty Woman, Kidman got up on her balcony, oops, stage and uttered that three and a half years ago she was doing okay, working, had two children but something was missing. She wasn't loved! I suppose those of you who may be fans of hers will take offense at that. Then she met a man who said ‘Come to Tennessee; yes, we will sell my house that you don't like, we can change my wardrobe and kill my career because you deserve to be loved. Let’s be together and make a baby’. She then thanked Keith Lionel. Yep, she called him that just so you know they have been intimate. It was nauseating and it was reported differently by all the outlets that reported on it. But they saved one another! Just like Julia and Richard Gere. Too bad she has never had a unique idea in her life.

The DVD:

I sat through this and while it was okay, it just didn't make me recall the tour or to be excited about his performance - maybe because that person who shows up in the DVD is actually a creation. Yes, Kidman is in it, and yes the credits are about her and not about the tour at all. He seems insincere, packaged, and phony these days which leads us to the new single, Sweet Thing.

The Latest Single:

Jumping the Shark - this is a Hollywood term originated from an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie actually jumps a shark on his motorcycle because the show had nothing more to say. Jumping the shark applies to Sweet Thing. I wonder if Keith has writer's block or his best days are behind him? While pining for your loved one is fine for an 18 year old like Taylor Swift, it sounds predatory from a man in his forties. Maybe because he is excessively rich and doesn't live among the real folk anymore, Keith can't actually write as an adult male? This man may have seen his best work in days gone by. Keith Lionel Urban is capable of better.

Don't blame me, I am an actress...

How many times have we heard Nicole Kidman say that the work is much more important to her than the box office? Many times… and why? Because with her track record Kidman can't really say anything else; all does not look well for the Australia epic. Baz has yet to release the film to the studio for final production. There are rumors that the studio wanted a more uplifting ending (SPOILER), what with Hugh dying and all.Yes, this could be a big huge stinker. One telltale sign will be if critics don't get access to the film before it is released. If that doesn't happen, then BOOM! With this disaster simmering what does our Nicole do? She announces that she has signed on to produce and star in another movie.

It is a strategy she has used before. If you will recall just before the Invasion, Kidman announced her role in the epic and her other jobs that were upcoming. You remember her remake of How to Marry a Millionaire, a film that still hasn't been made. Yes, Kidman wants you to know she is still viable as an actress even if her films continue to be bombs. Luckily her divorce made her a very wealthy woman who can create work for herself, because it is looking as if this may be the only way she will find work.

A couple of other tidbits:

We will have a review of Sweet Thing very soon.

We have been asking ourselves why none of Keith Urban's fan outlets were told he was having a #1 party recently; it's strange that of the six or seven people still active in Monkeyville they wouldn't have been told that the party was going on and that it was open to the public. It seems that Echo did have some fans there, but they were there to see Nicole Kidman. You can tell that by looking at the footage; all those young women standing with Kidman for pictures - while Keith was on the sidelines alone with his wineglass at a party that was supposed to be about him. He should be used to that by now, shouldn’t he?

The endless promotion of the epic continues, and now is being brought front and center to the country music world. Kidman and Hugh Jackman will be presenting an award at the CMA’s on Wednesday night. We knew it would happen sooner or later, and what better time than to promote her make-it or break-it movie?

Nicole Kidman's Diary - Part Three

WEEK TWO

DAY I

I attended some ridiculous little play in the local theatre here in Kununerra. I had to leave half way through, because it was horrible. The people had made dinner for us, but I honestly couldn’t eat it. It was a simple salad and some horrible pasta with shrimp and cream sauce and a chocolate cake for dessert. I tried the salad but the pasta was badly cooked and heavy. They had a nice wine though, and I drank four glasses, so I was a bit light headed when Keith and I headed out. I told them that I had had a laugh and so, was grateful for the break in the tension on set. Keith said we should stay til the end, because they’d gone to a lot of trouble, but I am sure they were thrilled that I showed up at all.

Keith and I had one of our “I’m trying really hard to convince myself I’m happy” conversations. He is tiresome at times. I get bored with him. Tom was so full of life and opportunity. He showed me so much about living … how I want to live, and Keith’s world is just not that attractive to me. He is so ordinary. Not that he isn’t handsome, but he’s no Tom Cruise. God knows he tries. He’s dressing a bit more like Tom at least. Fortunately, he has convinced himself that he needs to continue to learn how to want what he already has. I need a man around me. Right now, that’s Keith.

DAY II

It’s 42 degrees today and I am exhausted just thinking about the heat. My water was almost 10 degrees today and I have had enough of it. There is no excuse for it…it’s just shoddy. Someone will be fired for it.

I am feeling a bit shaky in my acting. Baz asked me to re-do one scene 33 times…and had me try to furrow my brows several times to no avail. But he told me that it’s OK to be shaky in your confidence and self esteem…even he feels it. I know he’s my creative partner. I eases my anxiety. He nurtures my soul. He titillates my imagination. He is the lover I wish I had…I would gladly make love to him. Keith approaches, smiling at me, with a tall glass of ice tea but I tell him that I’m in a good place now and to leave me alone before he ruins it. I take the tea, though. I’m very hot and dusty.

The thing about Keith is that he cares for me no matter what I do. If I yell at him, strike him, throw things at him, cuss at him, or tell people he’s useless, he still stays by me. Sometimes I think it’s my money, but he tells me it has nothing to do with money. He is there for me, no matter what.

DAY III

It’s brutal today. The winds are very high and my eyes are stinging. I’m having a hard time closing them completely since my last treatment which is not helping. My hairdresser is finally feeling better…and he finally gave me my money’s worth. I was starting to get sick of seeing his pale anemic face with the sweat dripping off his chin, as he did my hair. Honestly, it was getting tiresome.

I am supposed to be driving the herd of cattle along the river. My double is out in the blazing sun, while I sit in my trailer. Thank God for air conditioning. They come to get me as there is a scene that I have to shoot. The double can’t do it. I will have to ride the horse through the herd. I hate it. The cattle are such smelly creatures and I honestly don’t even like to look at them let alone smell them. But, this is what makes the movie. The idea that I was actually out amongst these creature, herding them, castrating them. Baz says that if I can make this look natural, it will MAKE the film. It’s all in my hands. I am the only one who can make the film work. It’s a powerful feeling. I mount the horse and gallop through the cattle herd, across to the edge of the river. “Cut!” My scene is over and I’m sure it will make the last six hours of work my double did in the blistering heat seem almost surreal. I feel extraordinarily powerful. I smile as I get off the horse and walk back to my trailer. I feel a bit faint after being in the heat for 15 minutes, but I’m sure the cool water and fan in my trailer will revive me.

Tomorrow we head back to civilization and out of this horrible desolate landscape. I look forward to some sushi…something of substance to vomit up.

….Home. I'll go home. After all... tomorrow is another day.

A break from the diary for a more sobering blog...

I hope the rumors were true that Keith Urban was drinking the fruit of the vine at his #1 party because the horseshit that spewed from his mouth could only have been said from someone who was either not in control of their faculties, or a dumb idiot.

Why so harsh? Because Keith must realize that equating a song with his wife, a song that was over seven years old, was just going to push some of his fans over the brink of fandom. Here is the message loud and clear for you Keith Urban, WE DON'T LIKE YOUR WIFE. WE THINK THAT SHE HAS RUINED A LARGE PART OF YOUR CAREER AND YOUR ASSOCIATION WITH HER DRAGS YOUR TALENT DOWN. Boy that felt good to get out.

Itʼs not like we haven't said that before but sometimes a reminder is good. The song that went to #1 for one week this summer was a fan favorite. It was a song that you had removed from the play list for most of the tour. It was brought back by request. You admitted you didn't even want to rerecord it but the record company pushed you to do it. It wasn't the record company that made it a hit it was YOUR FANS. Hey, you ungrateful bastard, thank YOUR FANS, not your meal ticket addiction, for the success. But of course you didn't. I guess you know that you won't be winning next week at the CMA's, so you had to thank your wife/addiction. I bet the reason you were late to the big shindig on Monday afternoon was because you had to explain to Nicole 'It's All About ME' Kidman where you were going and why - no wonder you were drinking. The pressure to be her pony boy must be intense.

It is your choice to stay with that waste of humanity just as it is my choice to no longer buy your products nor attend your concerts. I was a supportive skeptic, now I am just a very pissed off one.

Nicole Kidman's Diary - Part Two

WEEK ONE - KUNUNURRA (cont.)

DAY IV
My emotions are raw. I am sick of the child Brandon. Every time his snotty little brown face looks up at me and smiles, I have to restrain myself from striking him. He is stealing the scenes from me and it annoys me to no end. I hate working with children.

I hooked up with Isadora and Calum last night by webcam. They weren’t that interested in talking to me, but I had to tell them what I am doing, how hard it is and how very tired I am. I thought it would be good for them to know how much I worked for them. How much I sacrificed for them. Children are so self absorbed, however, and all they seemed to want to talk about was their friends. I got bored and told them I had to go. I love them so much and need them to tell me how much they love me and admire me.

I am dying to have a child, a real child…one from my womb. It would be so important to me to carry a child inside in my tummy and show everyone how young and vibrant I am. I have asked Keith many times but he wants to wait. His sobriety is something he feels he needs to work on. I’m so sick of hearing about his damn sobriety. I went through hell when he went in for treatment. Didn’t he realize what he put me through? Sometimes I think he has no idea how I’ve suffered for his addictions.

DAY V
I am overwhelmed again. They are asking me to work from 9 am until 3 pm with only three one-hour breaks. It’s ridiculous. Is there no law against overextending people? Just because I am a star?

A woman from the local catering agency made eye contact with me today. I was simply appalled at her forwardness. I am an Oscar winner and I am the star of this movie. So, when she looked at me and smiled an acknowledgement, I almost blew. Keith told me to relax, she was just being pleasant. He is so easy. But it is clearly outlined in my contract that I do not have to tolerate impudence like this. I reported her to Baz and she was gone by the end of the day. That will show everyone what the appropriate standard of behavior is. I see some of them looking at me, out of the corner of my eye, but most look away immediately if I look toward them. I don’t mind them gazing at me in awe of my beauty, but the direct contact is completely unacceptable.

DAY VI
My forehead moved today! It did not move much, but I saw in the mirror a tiny line forming between my eye brows. The last treatment should have lasted longer. I hyperventilated and Keith had to rub my feet to calm me. Thank God he loves me so much. I immediately called my surgeon. Baz will fly him in as quickly as possible. Production must be halted in the meantime.

Baz came to ask me if it would be possible to film some of the sweeping scenes that don’t need close ups. I was amazed that he would ask me to step foot out of my trailer in this condition. I told him that he was pushing me to the limit, and if he didn’t stop, I might quit and where would he be? He backed off…and he and Keith had a conversation outside. I knew he was trying to get Keith to encourage me to work with him, but I don’t care if it is $250,000 per day when we can’t film. I am not exposing myself to any scrutiny because of my face. It is natural and pure and creamy white. Plus my lips will be fuller than ever after my surgeon has come.

This being the sixth day, Baz calls off the shoot and we will get the rest of today and tomorrow off. I am feeling so rejuvenated. It’s like I’m living in a dream land. The landscape is desolate and dreary and dusty and hot. I am so relieved to get out of this God forsaken place. People say I’m dreamie.

...to be continued

Nicole Kidman's Diary - Part One

Nicole Kidman bared her soul and then buried the diary. She had her publicist write one because it was promised to help promote her latest flop. We found the original diary written by Nicole and are bringing it exclusively to our Urban Myths’ Readers.

WEEK ONE –KUNUNURRA

DAY I
I despise Mondays. I can’t believe they’ve put me on a plane with a bunch of people who are simply extras or bit actors. It’s disgusting. There is no bathroom on the plane, and I’ve told them, through my Personal Assistant (Keith), that when we land, I will be using the facilities first and they are not to look directly at me, as I disembark this plane, nor crowd around me waiting for the bathroom. When I have had time to freshen up, we will advise them and they can look away as I leave the facility. Then they can use it...

I walked in the park with my niece on the weekend and I have sore feet. They’re blistered and oozing. When Keith was painting my toe nails, he told me that they have an odor, but not that much more pungent than usual. I will ask Baz to advise everyone that my feet are sore and so, they must carry my things and possibly even carry me to the set and out to the horses. I am a martyr to carry on under the circumstances.

It’s horribly hot. I have had to ask that the assistants bring me additional ice for my water, as the water temperature had risen above 8 degrees C and I’ve told them repeatedly that it must remain at 6 degrees or below, or I can’t possibly drink it. I don’t want them to think I’m a diva, but this is absurd.

My hairdresser has not been feeling well. He had a very high fever, abdominal pain, bloody diarrhea and was vomiting on and off this morning. They offered me another hairdresser, but I refused. Do they think I would submit to another person touching my hair? I told him to feel free to lay down this afternoon for 45 minutes while I’m on set, and then, when I return, he can wash and set it for the evening. He was grateful for the rest, especially in this heat. I am a kind master and quite medical.

King George was chanting and singing some aboriginal crap. I told him to please be quiet. It is so annoying how self centered he is. I’ve had a very trying day, my feet are sore and my hairdresser is ill and couldn’t give me the attention I usually get, so I was in no mood to humor his caterwauling. I am not inclined to listen to his drivel. It’s hot. It’s dusty. I’m tired as I spent almost two hours on set in the heat, while assistants fanned me, just to keep me from passing out.

DAY II
It is very hot. My hairdresser says that the bloody diarrhea is much better and his abdominal pain is subsiding. He is quite dehydrated and feels weak. I told him to make sure he washed his hands carefully before touching me when he’s doing my hair. The last thing I need is an infection from him.

I find this whole experience overwhelming. It’s the hottest day yet. My feet are still sore. My hair is not what it should be because my hairdresser is unable to give me his best efforts due to his illness.

I do not eat a lot traditionally. A blueberry here, a lettuce leaf there, a Starbucks’ scone occasionally…but at least I get food that I can enjoy, even if I do vomit it up later. There are oranges and strawberries and kiwis. There is bread and butter. There are eggs and bacon and sausages. There are croissants, and muffins and danishes. There is toast and jam. There are juices, coffee and tea. But there are no blueberries. I am offered muffins, but there are no scones. I am completely at a loss. The quality of the catering is unbelievably subpar. I must speak with Baz.

Baz has been stressed because of the enormity of this project. We’ve talked about it several times. The money…the expectations…he is in very deep. So, I hesitate to bring this to him. But I know he would expect it. I know he would be shocked to know that I was unable to find anything fit to eat. I’ve had more trouble with the temperature of my ice water…it rose to almost 9 degrees C today waiting for an assistant to finish bandaging someone’s lacerated leg, before he could get me more ice. I was seething.

As always, Baz eases it. He strokes me. He makes love to my temper. He gives me sustenance when no one else can. He is divine. He is extraordinary. He is the man I love. He is the man I crave. He is the man I would take second only to Tommy, my first love. But then, I must return to my trailer to Keith. He says “hi” to me while he is emailing one of his music people in Nashville. He is supposed to be combing my merkin for the love scenes in Sydney and I chastise him for taking time off for HIS music instead of tending to my needs. He apologizes and immediately grabs the comb.

He tells me that after a good sleep I will be a new person…and we fly back to the hotel on the private helicopter. Keith bathes me and rubs my feet. After cutting my toe nails he paints them a deep red. I go to bed feeling better and invigorated.

DAY III
I slept well. I get out of the helicopter to be met by Baz. He wants me to stay on site for a few days, so we can film late at night and early in the morning. He wants me to stay in a tent. A TENT??? WTF!

I am seething. He tells me it’s a huge tent, with running water and electricity and air conditioning. It is so small … 15 feet by 20 feet. True…it is for two nights only and there is electricity, running water and air conditioning, but it IS a tent. And it is far smaller than my standards…and smaller than the requirements in my contract. I look around. The light bulbs are 60 watt…I advise Baz that if they change the light bulbs to 40 watt and a refrigerator with ice is placed IN the tent, I will stay, but for TWO nights and two nights only. And there needs to be an additional tent for Keith, so he has his own space. I feel like I have made a huge concession. I am not someone who expects too much. I am just a regular girl like any other Aussie girl but I do have my standards. Baz seems pleased that I’ve been so willing to stay.

It’s hot all day. A black crow swoops down near where I am standing and I am immediately overtaken by the bad omen it represents. I scream…and faint immediately, waking up to an extra fanning me with his dusty old hat. I’m horrified and have him fired on the spot. Not only did he touch me but he was looking right at me, when I woke up. I felt dirty and had to retire early for a complete sponge bath. Keith is getting quite good at them, and has mastered the art of shaving my legs and underarms.

....to be continued

Time to pull out Keith

The above photo does not have anything to do with the following blog. We at UM just wanted to scare the crap out of you on Halloween!!!!

I guess you could view that title a number of ways, couldn't you? What we are talking about today is more and more of the onslaught of Kidman in the media. Funny, isn't it, that while she talks about the epic, which she does, she, as usual in the last three years, shifts the interview to a review of her personal life. In Parade magazine she goes off the board in talking about how she had to dig deep inside to deal with Keith and his rehab.

Of course we all know (yes, I am assuming something that you know) that she really knows very little about addiction and Keith's in particular. But that doesn't stop Nicole, nope there she goes talking about his struggle as their struggle. In one interview she talks about Keith's desire for privacy and there she is talking about the most life threatening thing for him, his addictions. Leave that alone, Nicole, because that just stirs up a whole mess of ugly and I wonder if that is the motivating factor? She claims how much she loves him, yet she violates his privacy to shill her film.

Talking about Keith does serve a purpose, however, and that is so she is not asked about her career. Keep the talk on having a baby at 41, something that Lucille Ball also did but didn't run to the media about it, and the questions about what has happened to her career don't come up. Nicole Kidman has to have this film be a hit. No question about it, this must be successful or her leading lady days are over. So Kidman is doing anything to avoid that reality - talking about her presentable marriage. Her lack of a relationship with her other children is dismissed by her joy in birthing Sunday Rose. Hey, Nicole, how about a question about why you make poor movie choices? Why haven't any of the films that you have made in the last five years been successful? Those are questions that should be asked; not about Keith's rehab that was two years ago.

Another little article passed our desk this week. In an Italian magazine Kidman says that she will probably never live in Australia again. That when she and Keith and the little girl were there in August she decided that they couldn't have the privacy that she has in the United States. How many of you are like me and knew that when they went over there in April 2007, and all that talk about being home was the usual Kidman BS? Bought the cattle ranch for what? Nice for the tourist buck when the lead actress would rather live in the US than in the lovely Aussie outback. How long will it be until she says the same about Nashville? Kidman and Sunday will be L.A. bound and Keith will probably figure into the explanation of why. Keith Urban the man - best used as an excuse.

...Did you hear what I heard?

As an artist, I can’t imagine any greater pat on the back than winning the Entertainer of the Year award. While hoards of loyal fans watch on the television, all of the industry gathers to witness this top honor. How exciting it must be for the performer(s) that achieve this feather in their cap. The list of nominations for this award is rather impressive- Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley, George Strait, Sugarland and Keith Urban. Each artist brings so much to the table with them that it must be rather difficult for the voting members to decide. The ACM website lists what is taken into account for this category and I would think that the CMA criterion is very close to this as well.

1. Success at radio
2. Sales of prerecorded music
3. Success of music videos
4. Live concert ticket sales
5. Artistic merit
6. Appearances on television
7. Appearances in films
8. Songwriting
9. Writing
10. Contributions to the country music industry

That’s a lot of information to consider when voting for the nominees. I wondered who I would vote for based on the above items, so I did a bit of research to see who did what in 2007-2008. It took me a while to get to some of the statistics but you gotta love the internet!

Album sales: depending on the site, the top album sales will very a little but overall they seem to have Carrie Underwood as the top seller. I realize that Carrie was not nominated for this award, but it is worth mentioning that, in fact, she had 2 albums in the top 10 by the end of last year. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why Keith toured with her. Rascal Flatts had 2 in the top 10 as well by the end of the year. Rounding out the top 5 were Taylor Swift, troubled crooner Keith, and then Sugarland.

Concert ticket sales: Kenny, Tim & Faith, Martina, Rascal Flatts and Toby certainly did their part to make sure country music took a chunk of those dollars. Our spray-on-tan guitarist was not on this list NOR was he on the top touring acts list NOR the top earners list according to Forbes.

Sales of prerecorded music: look for some of the same top guns to pop out here. Again, minus the new baby daddy.

Songwriting and artistic merit: very interesting category, in my opinion. This area should include music that satisfies the artist and excites the fan base. The real fan base, not the “here today, gone tomorrow” types that vanish when the newest thing hits the airwaves. When an artist is interviewed saying that he’s not sure if the music on his new CD is exactly what he wanted to convey, but was talked into releasing it, one has to wonder who the CD is being released for - media outlets or the fans? I don’t mean an artist that wants to push the envelope and challenge themselves musically. Rather, the artist who was talked into releasing music that he knew was not his best effort. Yes, I’m referring to the “Pain” CD here.

Success at radio: according to Country Aircheck, Mr. Kidman was not in the top ten for the year, but Kenny, Carrie, Taylor, Brad and George were. Hey, and so was Gary Allan…imagine that.

Has the globe trotter shown the most overall success in the country music industry during the preceding calendar year? This is the bottom line question of the big night.

In this bloggers opinion, Keith doesn’t deserve the EOTY award this time around. Maybe that will give him time to remember that his fans, not his wife, make his career. He can’t behave like a “big star” and then expect anything from the “little people.” Has the man moved so far away from the musician that he has forgotten the lessons of the early days?

There is a quote that goes something like this (I am paraphrasing here)…if you forget the past, it is bound to be repeated…

Oh well, I digress, but I’ll be popping my popcorn and watching on November 12th.

How about you?

Happy Birthday, Keith Urban!

What a year it has been!

The # 1 whipped man in the world.

A number one hit for a song that is almost seven years old.

Producing a PR child so that your wife can appear to be popular and relevant.

A DVD of the tour that finally was laid to rest.

A tour with Carrie Underwood where it was more than obvious that you were more than stimulated...to play with her.

An interview with your wife where she talks about how private you are, yet violates that privacy all through the interview; then ties herself to any success you may have without her.

And now some sneak shots of you working in the studio on You Tube quelling all those rumors that might be out there.

Now, all we can hope for is not to see those “candid” pictures of you and the missus having a grand old time for your special day.

Have a great one, Keith!

A mention in the Sydney Morning Herald...

URBAN MYTHS

Beware the power of a blogger scorned - or scornful, at least.

Jeff Apter, the author of an unauthorised biography of Keith Urban, has incited the wrath of fans for his take on the "suburban loner, gifted guitarist, drug addict, platinum-plated superstar" entitled Fortunate Son: The Unlikely Rise of Keith Urban, which is due out in January. The site umyths.blogspot.com, run by a 40-year-old in the US unidentified only by their star sign (Scorpio for the record), blasts the book, which looks at Urban's rise to fame, as either a "snow job" or "sourced by someone with an axe to grind who got crapped on by Keith, and, yes, there are many that can fall into that category".

Apter, 46, a Scorpio from the South Coast, has written biographies on Michael Slater and The Cure. He defended the book, citing extensive interviews with people around Urban, plus a career working in music journalism. Considering Urban's fan base is around 70 per cent female, most of the blog's vitriol soon moves from Apter and back to another target: Nicole Kidman.

UM, scorned? Non! Scornful? Yep, that's more like it!!!

"My concert is our concert"?

The Nicole Kidman PR tour for the epic continues with Kidman on the cover of the Aussie version of In Style magazine. Nothing new really except giving birth changed her in such a profound way; and she insinuates that because she was older she experienced something that a younger woman couldn't. Beyond the hired help both to give birth and for the after birth care, I doubt Kidman knew at all what she was talking about. She is doing her ‘we are all female and thus one in the same’ spiel again, and quite frankly I am bemused more than angered by it. She has no clue how everyday women struggle and cope with what they have to do in terms of motherhood, even though she does have TWO adopted children. Many women, myself included, could care less about her struggles and thoughts. Sorry Nic, I can't relate to you never being able to wear skin tight dresses again.

One other thing that she said in this interview, in fact the only time she mentioned Keith Urban, was about how he would journey to the set (or was that when he was summoned?). That's because they are ‘each others half’ and so that ‘her movies are our movies and his concerts are our concerts’. Oh no, they aren't Yoko. I choose not to go to your movies because you aren't a good actress; I do choose to go to his concerts because he is a great performer. Do not lie to the public, Nicole, you are not wanted on the road nor does any success he may have be on account of you. Sweetheart, he did that on his own and you wouldn't have been sniffing around him if he hadn't been a success on his own. Think about the other side of that coin, too. Does that mean the cloak of failure that she covers all she encounters with falls on him? Well, isn't that true by looking at his career since they met.

If you want to see how different it all became I would recommend viewing his concert film, Living Right Now. It was Keith as he was coming into being a star and it’s a good concert. If you want to see where he is now, go to WalMart and buy Love Pain and the Whole Crazy World Tour. You will see the changes. Look particularly at the 11 songs that are featured in both films and spot the differences. I won't be buying the DVD because I really don't need to keep an artifact of the Kidman era in Keith Urban's career. It makes me too depressed for what might have been.

Isn't it sleazy?

You have probably heard by now that there is going to be a book published on January 1, 2009 in Oz. The title is Fortunate Son: The Unlikely Rise of Keith Urban, by Jeff Apter. We got the first tease yesterday when the blurb started out, "Suburban loner, gifted guitarist, drug addict, platinum-plated superstar: Keith Urban has squeezed a lot into his 40 years." Yep, a biography published in his homeland. I don't know about you but I am getting a wee bit tired of reading both the sleaze and the made-up stories about Mr. Urban.

I really didn't want to know about all the women. It's not my business to know about the depth of his addictions. And while we did get that period of time where his image was that of the barefoot poet lover who will rescue you from your hum-drum existence, most people were bright enough to realize that was not the reality. The crafted single guy who was your fantasy was actually living with women the entire time and has never been without a relationship. The man who confessed to sobriety and his walk with God, was struggling daily with those demons. Did I need to know any of this? No.

I reached a point where I literally threw my hands in the air and said enough when the Amanda stories were published in December of 2006. Were you, like me, really getting disgusted - not by the behavior, not even by Amanda selling her story, but by the fact we wouldn't have know about this had he not chosen to marry Nicole Kidman? Would there have been the need for a book to be written about him? Most major country stars don't have books written about them. He could have kept his privacy and I would have been happy just to attend his shows. But you don't get that dipping into Nicole do you?

As for this book, at 253 pages, and it being a paperback is either going to be a snow job based on cut and pasted excerpts from his interviews over the years; or it could be sourced by someone with an ax to grind who got crapped on by Keith, and, yes, there are many that can fall into that category. But what I think it just might be is something that will walk the fine line of truth and fiction and will be out there for people to make their own judgments. Being that it is being published in Australia and the liable and slander laws are what they are, don't expect anything that we haven't already seen. God knows there already is so much out there.

Congrats to Keith Urban on his new #1!!!!!

Well, folks, we today have a new Number One to celebrate for Keith Urban. He is the most whipped husband on the planet, according to some pals in Oz... http://fhm.com.au/the-whipped-list.htm

The Whipped List

This month’s FHM reveals the 20 most henpecked, emasculated, under-the-thumb men in the world.

Keith Urban

Who: One-time coke-hoovering country music god.

Why so whipped: Keith used to be cool. Sure, he plays country music, but he was living hard, partying his way across the globe. Then, he married witchy succubus Nicole Kidman, quit the gear, sprogged her up and lost his mojo. Now, he’s a boring twit with a pre-nuptial agreement that earns him $600,000 for every year he sticks with the pallid Autobot. Provided, of course, he doesn’t fall off the wagon.

This and that, and a request for our readers

Nicole Kidman talked about Keith Urban being very private. Of course, if you have been following Keith for a number of years you know this is true. But, it seems that even back then he seemed more accessible, if that is the proper word, than he is today. Of course we blame this on Kidman as she controls most of what is said about herself and those around her, but is this a good or bad thing? Have we learned more than we really needed to know because of the beacon drawn to Kidman that caught Keith?

Recently someone in the comments section asked if this was a Nicole Kidman site or a Keith Urban site? This blog was started because so many of Keith Urban's fans got fed up with the crap that came out about his personal life. You remember the "loved up" couple and how it took that little trip to rehab to show the world that what we suspected was far closer to reality than what Kidman would have them believe. But, it's about both of them.

Sharon Osbourne is a lot of things - cancer survivor, mother, rock star wife and one hell of a great business woman. She is also honest. Living with the reality that is Ozzy and having a real nasty piece of work for a father. Sharon has lived quite a life. Bravo for calling out Nicole Kidman for the liar she is!

Finally, a request to all of you who read this blog. Is there something we are missing in our messages? Is there a subject we aren't talking about that you want to know more about? Is there something that has been said in the comments section that you want us to look into? We are here to inform but, also to certain commentors' disdain, enlighten. What would you like us to write about? Do you have information to share with the class?

Trouble in Paradise?

Get ready for the onslaught of Nicole Kidman doing interviews about the great epic. From the first few interviews she has conducted one can gather the following from her words. Either the movie is going to be one big flop and everyone knows it, OR her marriage is in trouble and she is doing all she can to set herself up as a victim again.

Both Kidman and Jackman are doing all they can to promote the big movie. Jackman is doing photo shoots and interviews and while this adventure would be a big boom to his career if it is a hit, if it isn't, he will survive.

Kidman does not have that luxury. She must have this film be a hit or her days as a major star in Hollywood are over. Considering what she has been saying in these interviews, this writer believes that she is preparing for another failure and setting up her future as a character actress. She has related most of this film to her pregnancy. Why not talk about the character? Why not talk about the history in the epic? Nope, Kidman is relating it to her personal life. Go figure?

As for the second suggestion, well, Halle Berry brought her baby daddy to the big party on October 6. Kidman did not look very put together and those pictures that were taken in Nashville last weekend? It was in the seventies and she was wearing a spring-like wardrobe? Just saying. Also, for someone who claims in one breath her husband is very private, she has done all but talk about their sex life. Yes, you critics of this blog, we did want Kidman to acknowledge Keith, but this isn't really talking about him or them at all. She is spinning myths about him, their marriage and their family. All the myths are just that and will blow up in time. Of course, Kidman will be left being the sad, lonely one - but that is the plan isn't it? Something seems a tad bit off with our favorite couple. Let’s sit back and see what will happen.

From the Mailbag...

Dear Keith Urban,

Instead of coming up with the lame prizes your management team is promoting, why not give us an album full of music worth listening to? We know you know how to do that. How about giving us a tour we can be excited about, a tour where Keith Urban brings it more nights than not? From what I've heard, lately you have been bringing it, but we need some consistency. This every two weeks taking a break and flying wherever the famewhore is has to stop on the next tour. You never really get into the groove, or when you do, then it's time for a break. Keith, I don't want gifts from you, you can't buy me back with Wii games or T-shirts. I want what I came to the party for in the beginning. I want the performer who was excited about performing, I want the performer who put out a quality product, and until that performer returns, I'll be spending my money on other acts.

Yours truly,

A Former Fanclub Member, Taking A Break....

Who is this woman?... Part Two

Not only do we get the phony pictures but now we get the phony talk… after years of not really saying anything at all about Keith Urban we get the following from ELLE magazine - November 2008.

On husband Keith Urban:“He’s the greatest man besides my dad I’ve ever met. He’s loyal and he’s a soul searcher. He’ll kill me for…he’s very private”.

Well, now, that is a compliment right? Isn't it? Not really. Greatest how?

C'mon Nicole you can do better. Putting him up there with your first idol, Daddy, that's kind of lofty isn't it? Making him someone who is bound to fail perhaps? He is loyal; well this isn't hard to believe with her providing the lifestyle and the mega fame, I would be loyal too. Soul searcher? Before you were in his life I would believe this; he did seem a tad bit introspective in interviews. Now that we know that was a crafted image you have to doubt the sincerity, but compared to Kidman he is a mega pool of deep. A can of tuna is deeper than Kidman. He'll kill you for talking about him? Really? Why would he need to kill anyone? You call the paps. You arrange the interviews. He just has to have you grab on to his hand as you are 'oh so scared'? Spare me; if you could exploit him you would. Your bodyguard has done a lot more harm, hasn't he Nic? He's very, very private; well from seeing all that was exposed when you met him I can see why he may be. Who knows what else would be exposed if he didn't keep a number of things to himself. The rest of the interview is the usual Nicole crap speak. You can't really take it seriously, can you?

But wait! Think about this, what man can live up to what Kidman has described him as? He can't. Keith Urban is as flawed as a human can be. He is neither a saint nor an idol. Kidman knows that and painting him like this will just make his failures so much more predominant when she chooses to dump his butt.

Who is this woman?

Talk about photoshopping and airbrushing!!!! First pic I've seen without the rings since they've been married....

Thanks to Lainey for the tip. She also has links to more pics...

http://www.laineygossip.com/Nicole_Kidmans_frozen_face_Elle_Magazine_November_2008.aspx?IsMicro=0

Doesn't Sunday Rose have a father? That's not what Kidman wants you to think...

With the water of plenty and the only pictures of the baby being seen with mummy only, it makes you wonder about Sunday’s father. You remember that it is claimed that it is Keith Urban. Does this make you wonder just how much he really has input into the entire child issue? Do any of you think that just perhaps Keith was told when he was going to be a father around the time the rest of the world learned she was pregnant? That instead of being an active participant in the process, I can only remember one picture of them coming from a doctor’s appointment, Keith is an afterthought?

This week there was another statement from Ronnie Dunn about Keith texting him about how the baby is so aware of the paps around her. Dunn, if you don’t remember, hosted the party on the 4th of July where Kidman sat on the ground with contractions and got sprayed for chiggers. Dunn also talked to Keith about God shortly before he entered rehab. Dunn also had Keith perform with him at the 2006 CMA festival, the one where Keith blew off his fan club but needed to make an appearance. Remember, too, that Ronnie Dunn was the one that read the statement from Keith thanking everyone for his 2006 CMA male vocalist award, a statement that emphasized he loved his wife, yet Keith later said he didn't really know he had won as he was at Betty Ford and wasn't aware, so how could he know about that statement? Unless of course it was prepared in advance, or perhaps it was written by his life-saving wife? Dunn, like Ms. Rimes, has been very pro-Kidman in Nashville, so I think they are often used to promote the great big love story that just might not be very true.

Back to the baby - let's suppose that Kidman decided that the time was right for a baby. Keith really was not talking babies was he? He said they were waiting. Most believe that be it waters or a turkey baster this baby was conceived the non natural way. Meaning all it took was Keith, a magazine or video and a little plastic cup. Perhaps there was a procedure to enable Keith to drop the slop in cup but that is indeed a rumor. Whatever he had to do, Keith provided the needed swimmers. At that point what more was needed from him, and why should Nicole keep him informed? Perhaps Nicole did get pregnant. Perhaps Nicole was fitted with rubber bellies during a supposed fitting for the movie she "quit" in early 2008. These fittings supposedly took place in New York City last October when she was there promoting Margot at the Wedding. Why tell your husband? She did all that crap for him last fall. She went to the awards in the homeland. She went to the CMA’s with him. He can go along with this when the time is right.

The time was right in January 2008, when a woman known for early pregnancy problems tells the world she is pregnant minutes after the rabbit died. When did her husband know? We will go out on a limb here and say that Keith was informed there was going to be a baby not that long before the rest of the world knew. If this is true could you imagine if you were him? He hadn't had a whole year of sobriety. He told the world they weren't ready. She told the world in Vanity Fair that he said he wanted their marriage to be just about the two of them for a while. If it were this writer, I would be really pissed. If she was pregnant or there was a surrogate what was he to do? Leave her? Yeah, he runs all over and tells the world she saved him, even on the damn cover of People magazine. He dedicates that dumb song to her every night and then she may have been deceptive about a baby. What was he left to do? Even if he wanted to he couldn't leave. It would be just like Tom did when he divorced a supposedly pregnant Kidman. But we could tell from his reaction in January and his lack of detail about the birth that just like his engagement, he was not ready for this news. This is a guy that had no qualms about crying in front of America when he won an award and yet he doesn't talk about the birth? But Nicole talks about how little Sunday was very solicitous of her for the birth and pregnancy. Yet, Keith is very quiet. Maybe he is trying to be private; he did say that Sunday didn't pick a public life. If this is the case these two need to get on the same page or does it matter what he feels?

It is this writer’s opinion that when he dropped the load in the cup, Keith Urban was done. He fulfilled the alleged statement in the pre-nup that there would be a child. And Kidman is now fulfilling the other part of that where if there is a child born or acquired of the union Kidman would be the primary parent. The only difference is that no one has separated or divorced. I guess we will see what will happen in the future.

Something seems to be missing...

Have you noticed that Keith Urban is never seen with his daughter?

Yes, he was there with the sling on the set. But we haven't seen one picture of them together, of Daddy actually holding her in public; not just in fuzzy shadows sneaking into a house. So why would that be? Could it be that Nicold would be jealous? Could it be that Keith has no regard for his daughter?

Perhaps it's because he doesn't need to have anyone see her with him to prove to the world what kind of parent he is; it's not necessary. Too bad his wife couldn't learn from that.

More Mail from the Muse

Sorry to break this to you, Nicole, but he is not coming back...

Did you all realize that Katie Holmes was having previews for her new PLAY on Broadway this week? Well if you live under a rock you may have noticed that it’s been the talk of the gossip world. Not just the previews but the rehearsals and how Katie and Suri and Tom have adapted to their new city with a great amount of gusto. For the last six weeks or so we have seen Katie and Suri about the town. We have also seen almost daily shots of Katie going to the theater. Yes, Katie wore rolled up jeans and was rumored to be in an old pair of Tom's jeans. The result of the media frenzy is that Katie got attention for her play. Add to this Katie got good reviews for her work, and they were earned because everyone was out to get her.

Which takes us over the great big pond to London. Nicole Kidman is there rehearsing, too. She has been seen out and about, too. She has taken her daughter all over the city and she, like Katie, is joined by her husband for a night on the town or an afternoon jaunt. On Saturday Kidman and her husband, the less famous Keith Urban, took in a PLAY that is all the rage in London. Just like Katie and Tom, Nicole and Keith had their helpers get them in and out of the busy city. Just like Katie, it appears Nicole was wearing her husband’s jeans and for a cute twist, he was wearing her fedora. It brought back warm fuzzy memories of when I used to wear my boyfriend’s stocking cap in the cold; of course I was fourteen at the time. But it appears that Nicole just can't let her obsession with all things Tom Cruise go.

Dress, act and follow the Katie trail. It's too bad that Kidman is in an ensemble production that is going to be based on looks more than talent. Or is it? Yes, Kidman couldn't do what Katie is doing. Don't start on her performance in the Blue Room a decade ago when she was bouncing around naked and supposedly screwing her co-star. It doesn't take much to be a clothes horse or show pony. Kidman won an Oscar for that. Rubber nose and all. Being on the stage is about finding something inside to use to project the character. Kidman doesn't do that, she just wears the make-up and the costumes and the audience has to do a lot of its own thinking. I know when I see her I wonder why does anyone let this simpleton try to act? I wonder if Keith had to explain the play to her on Saturday?

Nicole, it’s getting old how you keep trying to outdo Tom. You can't. He is laying the groundwork for a comeback. You couldn't lay your husband. There will be no groundwork for you. You are a one note actress whose fifteen minutes are slowly ending. And, dear, try not to smother the baby, perhaps the nanny can show you how to hold her. You are a wife? Yep, you both look so happy again to be together. So wipe the smirk off your face, the world is getting wise to you and hopefully you will be soon on your way to a new title, that one being a trivia question… Can you name Tom Cruise's second wife?